5

The Scarred Admirer

Colin never really cared to go to such lengths in order to let someone know of his feelings. Yes, he had liked someone before Elinor came to view.

Some of the ladies he liked were friends with his cousins. They used to bring their friends with them to their estate, and Colin, who always roamed around like a ghost, would set his eyes on a lady that stirs something inside him. A crush, as one would describe it.

However, Colin was not blind nor deaf to the rumors that go around the entire land of Ashmore. While his siblings and cousins do their best at shutting down rumors that put him in a bad light, they can still hear the echoes of it even now. It is almost felt by him that he is even slowly accepting it. Not because it is true. God, no.

He is not a beast, like what few people would describe him. No, he is not a cursed child. And above all, he is capable of love.

It is funny when you try to think of it. How two-faced a creature is. And even funny when some of them don’t even know they are two-faced. Creatures who regarded themselves as being nice and honest by pointing out his flaws, saying if it wasn’t for the scar on his cheek, he would have looked less intimidating, and more handsome.

Colin was the only son of Conrad, their Alpha. Even his father was hearing some nasty things about him, and every single time, he had to convince his father to just let it slide.

“I swear, son, if I hear one more insult about you, I would tear its head and hang it for the entire Ashmore to see.” His father would say, face red with anger.

While his gentle and soft-spoken mother, Tatiana, would caress his cheek and traced his scar on it saying, “You are not what they think you are, darling. One day, they’ll see right past through your scar and see you for who you truly are.”

They said he got this scar when he was only aged one. A vicious rouge, an enemy of his father, attacked their estate. It strikes to kill Colin, but fortunately, a deep scar was the only thing he got from that attack. Conrad was able to defeat the rogue wolf. Its skull is still hanging on his father’s study to this day.

Anyway, Colin had been the subject of insults by other werewolves. Colin can see them whisper, their eyes on his scar as if it is big enough to swallow his whole face.

It never really bothered him. He never really cared about their comments about his appearance. However, it has been going on for almost two decades. Two decades of werewolves whispering behind his back about how unattractive his face was, that it is such a huge shame he had a scar. Or that comment from a lady he liked back then that really stings him every time he remembers it.

”It is no doubt women would have flocked around him if only he does not have a scarred face. I might actually consider throwing myself at him if only I don’t find him unappealing.”

Though the lady never said it to him face to face, it still does some damage to his self-esteem.

He was fifteen then when he overheard it, and he remembered dropping the daisies he personally grows in their garden for that lady who turned out to have such a repugnant personality.

Needless to say, it was his first heartbreak.

His older sister, Thalia, made a huge scene after the comment reached her ear from a house servant who happened to be eavesdropping on that lady’s conversation.

That day was instilled in everyone’s mind because Thalia, who was regarded as calm and soft-spoken like their mother, Tatiana, shifted into her wolf form and savagely attacked the lady.

Colin couldn’t shift into his wolf form at that time, so he couldn’t stop his sister and was left with no choice but to watch as his entire family, including his adored by all, and ‘well-behaved’ sister, was being more feared by many.

For a while, not a single friend of his cousins visited their estate. But it was not long before everything seemed to go back to normal again, and once again, Colin roamed the estate, his longing for someone to look at him with love, aside from his family of course, grow as years passed.

Time and time again, Colin’s heart gets wrapped up in someone’s hand and then gets dropped again. Until he finally stopped going near the people he liked.

He would watch them from afar, sometimes wishing he can ask a witch to cast a spell on him that makes his scar invisible to the eyes of many, but that is strictly prohibited. No one sees a witch. And no witch will see a werewolf, that’s the rule.

His scar, although small, swallowed his confidence. He even contemplates asking his mother for a mask so that half of his face would remain covered, but Colin knew that would only break his mother’s heart even more, seeing he’s very insecure about his looks.

But that was all before Elinor came to their estate.

Colin was watching her through his bedroom window. Her wavy red hair adorned with pearls, sometimes flowers, was the one that caught his attention.

“Is Bonnie around?” he heard her faint voice as one of his cousins met her.

She is a new face, Colin thought at the time. He doubts it was Bonnie she was looking for because that cousin of his was a reclusive person. He thought Bonnie doesn’t have a friend, just like him. But turns out he was wrong. Because it was indeed Bonnie that Elinor came looking for.

Unlike all the other friends of his cousin, he can hardly see Elinor around their hallways or their field. She is always in Bonnie’s room, much to his dismay.

Colin’s interest in Elinor did not really seem strong. If anything, it was short-lived. Her visit is not very frequent anyway, and when she does visit, she would spend the whole day in his cousin’s chamber. In conclusion, he only saw her twice. The first time she came to their estate wearing hair clips made of white pearls, and the second one was when she was leaving the estate, wearing a light blue dress that compliments the color of her hair.

But nothing could have ever prepared Colin for the third time the two of them meet, only this time, there is not much distance between them.

On his way from his father’s study, Colin suddenly felt like it to pass by the library. It was early in the afternoon, and Colin wanted to kill some time by studying the world’s map spread across their library’s wall.

He entered the hallway that led to the library. He then entered the library and made his way to get a magnifying glass, as he did so, the double doors of the library creaked open, and he heard light footsteps that suddenly came to stop.

Colin turned around, thinking it was one of her cousin’s friends, but oh, how wrong he was.

It was none other than Elinor staring right into his eyes. Not into his scarred cheek, but his eyes.

For the first time, someone looked into his eyes, free of any judgment.

They held each other’s gaze for a couple of seconds until both of them looked away at the same time, unable to look at each other’s eyes again.

Colin felt something inside him stir awake. And no, it was unlike the previous feeling he had. This one is so strong. He couldn’t ignore it. He couldn’t stop pacing back and forth that night in his room. Hell, he couldn’t even sleep.

He cursed himself for leaving the library so soon, without even saying a word to her. Not even a hello, not at all. And he regrets it.

The following day, Colin spends the entire morning expecting Elinor to arrive but she never showed up. The day after is followed by more days.

It was two weeks later when finally, Bonnie, whom Colin had never seen for quite a long time, emerged from her room and into the dining hall as he and a few of his cousins were having breakfast. As if by some miracle, Bonnie uttered a sentence to them. That is, to save her and her friend a seat.

Colin’s mind prepared himself for Elinor’s arrival. He tried his best to look… normal. Colin may have loved his family, but there is one thing he hates about them. They read him so well. Especially the jock, Max, a cousin of his, who reads him like a book.

It may have been a good thing that Thalia was not present at that moment, but then, Max was very present. And his grinning face made Colin want to strangle him at the last minute if only Elinor’s arrival had been delayed for a minute or two. But Elinor came into their dining hall before Colin could pounce at Max.

Bonnie, who also sees through him, eyed him from across the table. Elinor sat right next to her, opposite him.

Again, he caught Elinor’s eyes staring at him and quickly look away.

“This is new. Bonnie eating with us, and with a friend! Ha! I thought you and Colin are friendless.” Max commented at his sister who was ignoring him.

“Colin, are you done?” Max pans the attention to him.

He put his utensils down and drank his wine. Trying not to look at Elinor who’s silently eating her food.

“No, don’t leave. Bonnie’s visitor just got here,” Again, Max uttered.

But Colin doesn’t want to linger anymore. He doesn’t want to give Max some time to read him. When he got up from his seat, he could feel the following eyes on him. As he exited the dining hall, he heard Max’s amused laughter, all the while saying, “He’s Colin, and no, he is not mute. He’s just silent, like Bonnie.”

The next day, Elinor came again. Books in her hand. Colin knew by then that she would once again lock herself in Bonnie’s room.

This time, Colin gained the courage to wait by Bonnie’s door. He had planned to escort Elinor back to her house that day.

And that day, Max, who had nothing more important to do, saw him.

“Go do something else, you moron.” Colin retorted.

“Honestly, I never thought of her to become your type of woman. I thought I figured out what you look for in a woman. Someone whose shorter, whose blonde and hair neatly in place, above all, I thought you liked bubbly, and a woman who speaks whatever comes to mind.” Kingsley stated.

Colin only shook his head. “I never liked someone because of how they looked, Max.”

“Indeed. But I must say, all of them you liked before is a beauty. Especially, this one right here.” Max said, and before Colin could stop Max from opening the door, he got shoved inside. He forgot how Max had the ability for speed and strength. In his mind, he had strangled his cousin.

Colin was met once again with Elinor’s gaze. Straight into his eyes. Really, he wondered if she had been trained to look directly at someone’s eyes all her life as if his scar was not there to distract her.

“Ugh, Max, you clown.” Colin heard Bonnie’s annoyed remark, but he only looks at Elinor, whose laying on her stomach on the carpeted floor, a book in her hand. Colin leaps towards the door and down the hallway, chasing Max.

Later that day, when Elinor was no longer there, Colin made his way again to Bonnie’s room to bribe her.

“Anything?” Bonnie asked when Colin told her he’d give anything she wants in return for his favor of having his time with Elinor.

“Anything.”

“Fyodor Dostoevsky’s book.” Bonnie was quick to reply.

“Don’t we have all his books in our library?”

“His new one. I want the new one.”

“Alright. Tomorrow, behind the village’s pub. I’ll be there.” Colin agreed.

Bonnie only smirked and shut the door in his face.

Who would have known that this reclusive cousin of his would be his wingman?