A Fresh Start

Ava

I flex my fingers over the keyboard of my laptop. Twisting ribbons of steam rising from my coffee mug, add a bitter scent to the sweetness of old books. Hundreds and hundreds of old books, stacked in haphazard piles where I had to clear the desk. But I’m not going to complain. Well, there isn’t anyone I can complain too, for starters. I smile as I start typing, listing the supplies that I’ll need to turn the old cabin into a working medical clinic.

The cabin is made of four rooms, and I hear the creak of bare floorboards as someone steps through the front door into what's going to be the reception area. I stand up, curious and pad back to the door of the office, out through the adjoining space I'll use as a treatment space, and peer at the elderly woman who approaches. She's carrying a large basket, filled with fruits and pastries.

'Oh!' I smile, rushing forward to take the weight, 'let me help you with that, Elder Marie.'

'Oh it's no trouble, no trouble at all,' she's a small woman, barely reaching my shoulder. Her hair might have been black once, but it's faded to grey. But she has the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen. Second most beautiful, the sleepy voice of my wolf echoes in my head, sing song. Teasing. I push the voice aside. The last thing I need today, or any day. Is a reminder of him. The man who ruined my life.

'I just wanted to see how you were settling in,' Marie smiles up at me and I can't help but smile back. My face hurts from smiling, and I can't help but laugh as she looks around at the dusty, dirty surfaces of the old reception with a grimace. 'It's a bit of a mess,' she frowns.

'It'll be perfect,' I assure her, 'please...I just. I'm so grateful to you, and the other elders for giving me the space. For giving me a chance.'

She reaches out, taking hold of my hand in her own. Her skin is soft as she pats the back of my fingers, 'everyone deserves a second chance, dear. Let me assure you, the Midnight Forest Pack is happy to have you, and your beautiful children with us.'

Tears prick the back of my eyes, a lump forming in my throat as I continue to smile. Sometimes it's harder to smile. Because the last five years have been hard, and the pain of my struggles, aren't easy to forget.

'It's really good to be part of a Pack again,' I try to sound confident, bright and friendly. But my voice wobbles, betraying the depth of my feelings. I'm an outsider, banished from my own family and pack for making a mistake. Living out in the world, away from Wolves and the Luna Goddess has been hard, painful. I lost so much of myself. But with the Midnight Forest, I've started to feel like I'm coming home. That there's a safe place for me and my twins to grow.

Marie reaches up, extending her arm so that she pat my cheek gently. I sniff as she winks, 'no more of that,' she chides, 'you're here now. We're not going anywhere, you're not going anywhere. Besides, we really need a medic,' she chuckles and I use the opportunity to turn away, wiping my eyes on the back of my sweatshirt.

Her hands have fallen to her hips and she sighs in disgust as I take a breath.

'It's going to be just fine,' I promise, excited for the project of taking the rundown building and turning it into a place to serve the community. ‘It just needs a clean…’ I look around a the windows that are coated in a thick coat of dust. The piles of trash that I managed to kick into the corner.

I wrinkle my nose. ‘And a bit of paint and lovin’ care.’ My voice drops into the southern accent that I always think I’ve managed to shake off. I run a hand along the back of my neck, ‘just you see, if you come back next week, it’ll look completely different.’

‘Do you have enough time to get everything ready?’ Marie fixes me with a stern look, an eyebrow lifted, ‘I know you’re little ones are settling into kindergarten, but you have your residency to finish, and now this?’

‘I’ll get it ready,’ I look around, knowing that there are going to be a lot of long nights ahead of me. Long nights and early mornings, made more difficult with the twins underfoot. But I’ll do it, I’ll get it done. I’m nothing if not determined to make a better life for my sons.

‘I have to admit, the last medic left it in more of a mess than we were expecting,’ she frowns. ‘Will you get me your budget sheet by the end of the day? If I can get the council to sign off, we’ll get the supplies ordered for when this is cleaned up.’

‘No problem,’ I agree, 'and don’t worry, the bones are all here. I don’t mind the work of puttin’ it right.,’ I reach out, patting the wooden wall with the palm of my hand, lovingly. ‘It’s a chance to put my mark on the place.’

Sharp pain pierces my awareness and I wince and examine my hand. Spiked by a splinter. I flinch, drawing my hand back, poking at the sliver beneath the skin. Why is it always the little things that hurt the most?

‘Ava,’ Marie is watching me again and I met her gaze. Her voice had the hard tone of a woman determined. A voice my Nana used to have when she’d decided something. Whether my Sister Bella and I, agreed or not. But I don’t think about Bella, and I don’t think about Nana either. I don’t think about any of my family. Not since the day I was banished from our pack. I won’t let myself think about them. I certainly won’t let myself miss them.

'Ava,' she says ‘I’m going to send my Grandson around to help you out. You’ll like him. He’s single right now.’

‘Oh no,’ I shake my head quickly, as though I can see the next six months stretching out before me. The last thing I need is Marie setting me up with her grandson. The absolutely last thing I want or need in my life is a man. They lead to nothing but trouble, ‘honestly, I’m going to be just fine.’

‘Nope! No,’ Marie shakes her head with that knowing smile and I want to run and hide in the office again. ‘I won’t hear it. He needs something to do with his days, and he can help you out.’

‘Doesn’t he have a job?’ I can feel the desperation slipping into my voice. 'Or anything else to do?'

‘Not right now, that’s why he’s back,’ Marie was already on the way out the door, refusing to take no for an answer, ‘he’s strong, but don’t let him boss you around, alright?’ Marie spun back with surprising balance for an elderly woman in her late seventies.

‘Don’t worry about that…’ The cabin, dilapidated as it is, is my haven. My sanctuary. I don’t want to share it with some overgrown Wolf.

'You'll love him'' Marie pauses to grin at me.

‘I’m sure I won’t…’ I mutter beneath my breath. An out of work werewolf? Definitely at the bottom of my list of men to date. But Marie has already sauntered away and left the cabin door swinging on the breeze. I move, hooking it onto the latch that will make it stay open. Sighing softly. A prickle of nerves runs down my spine, I shake it off. It’s not anticipation.

I’m not, in any way, happy or excited to be set up with some bossy muscle head. I don’t want to be set up with anyone. I just want peace. To drop my kids off at school, work my shifts at the hospital, set up a medical practice, shop for groceries, the normal. I don’t have time for a man. I don’t want a man.

With the door latched, at least the fresh morning air can carry on moving through the cabin, clearing out some of the musty smell from the trash that needs taking out. I don’t mind the smell of old books though, something like vanilla mingled with the coffee that’s gone cold now. I leave the welcome basket on the front desk and retreat back to my little office.

There’s a large window overlooking the forest and all the tall trees that seem to stretch endlessly into the distance, before dipping down into a gully. I drop back into the chair and fold my arms on the desk. It’s mid morning and I can see a clear blue sky and smell blossoms on the breeze. The window in front of my desk is thrown wide open.

I could sit all day and look at this view. But there is work to be done. I open a spreadsheet, listing out all the medical supplies and sundries that are going to be needed. Simple things to get up and running. I set up a second document, listing ideas as they come into my head. If I’m going to take over as medic for this pack, I want to go over the first aid equipment that’s held in the communal spaces. I want to check the first aid training…

Hours pass and I stretch, walking between the rooms as I pick at the fruit and pastries. I forgot to make lunch and I’m too engrossed to leave the cabin now. I scribble notes on my pad, leaning against the walls as I move room to room, listing out what needs to get done.

I’m stood at the reception desk, leant forward with a pen in my grip. Humming to myself. Before a buzzing at my rear makes me jump. The alarm on my phone buzzes and I scramble. Fumbling, heart pounding as I draw it out and check the screen. KIDS!

I blink at the alarm before before straightening up. It’s getting close to three pm. It’s time to lock up and hop in my truck so I can collect my sons. I smile, setting my pen down. If they settle down to sleep, then maybe I can keep them monitored on the cams and come back to start clearing out the rubbish. I turn, ready to start shutting up windows and securing the cabin.

But he’s there. I blink. It’s like I’m looking into the past. What is he doing here? He’s tall, taller than I remember. Broader too. Wearing a chequered lumberjack shirt in black and blue. Dark stubble covers his chin and jaw and a hat is pulled down to shield his eyes. But I know it's him. With every part and fibre of my being, I know it’s the father of my children.

He’s got one arm lent propped against the door frame of head. The muscles of his jaw and neck tense. Lips pressed into a thin line as he stares at me, dark green eyes intense with unspoken anger.

‘Mate,’ he growls and a shiver convulses through my body.

Fuck.