7 - Five Years Ago: In Your Arms

Ava’s POV

I’m lying in his arms, wearing his dress shirt. It was getting cold despite the summer air. I guess it’s pretty late. The boom of the distant party has stopped echoing through the forest. I can still hear people talking, but it’s a quiet murmur punctuated by the occasional ring of laughter. But we’re in our own world, and it’s perfect here. Beside the lapping waters of the river, still pink in the moonlight.

I was dozing, naked upon the grass with his arm wrapped around me. But he noticed he was cold and sat up. Without a word he was on his feet, and stretched up with a smirk, retrieving my panties from where they’d hooked over one of the branches. I would have blushed, but I’m too tired to even feel embarrassed right now. Too tired and too caught up in the moment that I never want to end. Even as I tell myself that this is crazy, and he’s just a rebound. Seren huffs at me and I ignore her cynicism. She thinks that it’s more than just a one night stand, but my heart hurts far too much to believe her.

I wriggled back into my panties and the silky green dress, as he pulled his pants back on then sat back down beside me, offering up his shirt. The dress was backless and strapless and with a nod, I accepted his shirt, pulling it over my shoulders. Grateful for the thin layer of warmth that it traps against my body. Sitting down beside the stranger, he nudged me with his elbow, then his knee.

My cheeks were burning and I glanced at him, struggling to meet his gaze. How do you talk to someone that you’ve only just met…and who knows you more intimately than anyone else ever has? Sex with Josh was never like what just happened between us. Have I been doing it wrong? I want to ask the man beside me, my lips part and I look up at him, meet his gaze and my question faded away. He bent, kissing me once more and I know, deep in my core, that this is the most magical night of my life. It’s beautiful, thrilling and terrifying all at once. I don't want to say the wrong thing, I don’t want to break the spell we’re under.

He kisses me and I lose myself against him, clinging to his body with my leg wrapped around his hips. Skirt tangled around my knee as he alternates stroking my back and pushing the loose hair back from my face. But his actions are sweet, tender. We’re both clinging to the sense of fantasy, that we can stay lost in the woods forever. But I’m tired, and no matter how much I want to stay awake, our rampant work-out has drained the last of my energy. I have a hundred questions, but they just don’t seem as important as the man before me.

I try to memorise every part of his face, the brilliant shade of green in his eyes. The stubble that's covering his jaw. The feel of his skin beneath my hands. He’s warm, and he’s wrapped his arms around me. I’m pulled closer and closer until I’m cuddled against him. Basking in the afterglow as the moon watches over us both.

‘You’re not…’ his voice is low and husky against my ear, ‘you’re not seeing anyone?’

I close my eyes. For all the protection and safety I feel against the stranger, his words had splintered my peace. I press my lips together, trying to stop the way that they tremble. Damn it, his question took me by surprise and my eyes are burning. Stinging with the tears I’ve not been allowed to cry.

It’s been a beautiful, impulsive night, but with a single question the day comes flooding back. I thought that I had locked it all away, forgotten it in the intensity of sex with a stranger.

‘Hey?’ He bends his head, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ I summon the breath to speak. And it’s the truth. I can’t think of anything worse than talking about Josh right now. As though saying anything aloud, might summon him. I don’t want to see him again. I don’t want to see my Sister. I don’t want to think about whether I’m with someone. Because this morning I was Ava and I knew my place in the world. At Josh’s side. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, but I’ve known him all my life. We’ve dated since High School. It was Bella’s ceremony today but I was expecting Josh to propose before I left for Medical School. But all those dreams have died. I can’t be with a cheater. I won’t be with a cheater. Maybe that’s why I’ve done this tonight, to make sure there’s no way back. Because Josh won’t forgive me for sleeping with someone else.

‘You don’t have to talk about it,’ he’s frowning as he speaks, and I can sense his disappointment. Seren feels it from his wolf and she whines. She wants to share everything with this stranger, to meld with him so our thoughts and feelings intertwined. There’s no way I could ever do that with a stranger. Josh always wanted to try, but it was a step of intimacy too far, and Seren was never keen to share herself with his wolf. Not the way she’s begging to be with the strangers’.

I feel a lump in my throat, a tightness in my chest and I try to breathe. Only the man to hold me tighter as I bow my head against his neck.

‘I guess…whatever had you looking like you wanted to get out of that party, isn’t so easily cured,’ he murmured and I can’t help but laugh. The sound nervous as I fight back my sense of sadness. I won’t let Josh and Bella ruin this for me. I don’t want to be sad. I don’t want to mourn the future I thought I had this morning, or the relationship that no longer exists. I sniff and wipe my eyes on the back of my hand.

‘I’m sorry…’ I murmur and I feel the tension thread through his body. I expect him to push me away, but he holds me tighter still, as though he’s reluctant to let me go.

‘You can just rest…’ he replies, quiet as a pair of fireflies drift over head, spinning and dancing in twinkling bursts of light beneath the stars. Everything still looks pink and rosy beneath this moon.

‘You must be tired too…’ I let out a slow breath, and move my fingers down over his chest. My own heart is racing, I wasn’t expecting to feel the beat of his moving so rapidly against his chest. I look up at him, confused and he merely leans down to kiss me again.

‘I don’t want this night to end,’ he admits and his voice sends a shiver through my body. I was exhausted, almost asleep but with a simple sentence there’s heat coursing through my veins again. It’s like he’s a drug, fuelled by the moon above.

‘So let’s make sure that it doesn’t,’ I reply and press myself against him. My hips are rolling against the length that’s quickly growing hard again. I’m not usually someone who is reckless, or impulsive. But I’ve already dived into the ocean with this man. Already ventured beyond the point of no return. There’s no point trying to get out of the water now. Not when all I want to do is drown in him and forget, once more, all the reasons I want to run away from my heartache and not look back.