JENNA
UNTI-UNTI AKONG nagmulat ng mga mata.
But even before I did that, alam kong hubad ako sa ilalim ng kumot. Naisip ko, with my brain feeling detached from my body, shit happens when you allow yourself to get drunk alone in a bar. But I didn’t think it could happen to me.I couldn’t even cry. Sobrang katangahan na ito. Sobra na!But in the next moment, I realized I wasn’t completely naked. Suot ko pa ang bra ko at panties. Sinilip ko ang ilalim ng kumot para makasiguro, at totoo. And then I smelled soap. Sa buhok ko. Sa balikat ko. Sa mukha ko.I remembered puking before I passed out. Pagkatapos niyon… ni hindi ko na maalala kung anong nangyari. But I did remember strong hands around me before I completely lost it. I remembered leaning on a strong chest. I remembered smelling a certain male cologne that seemed somehow familiar and comforting. I remembered a pleasant but clearly worried voice calling my name… Kilala ako.Sino? Kanino?Ngayong alam ko nang hindi ako namolestiya at sa halip nilinisan pa nang kung sinong nag-rescue sa akin, mas malakas na ang loob na naupo ako sa kama. I was lying on the middle of it and it was a single bed. So wala akong nakatabi kagabi. Walang ibang unan o indikasyon na may nahiga sa tabi ko.And I felt… okay down there. Hindi ako active and aside from the very first time, alam ko naman na siguro kahit papaano ang pakiramdam kung nakipag-sex ako sa kung sino kanina o… kagabi, right? Hindi ko alam kung anong oras na.Naghanap ang mga mata ko. I was hoping to see my things, but what I saw was a digital clock on the bureau. Nine o’clock PM.Gabi pa pala. Pumasok ako sa bar around lunchtime. Imposibleng lampas ng twenty-four hours akong tulog kasi alcohol ang ininom ko at hindi pampatulog. Noone in that bar would harm me, that’s why I went there. That bar was one of my Mom’s. It was a mistake, though, to leave the place very drunk. But I wasn’t thinking anymore then. I just wanted to go home.Pero sinong nagdala sa akin dito?The room looked decent. Pero may nakita ako na agad na nakapagpakalma ng loob ko.It was a picture frame lying on the nightstand. It was of an elderly woman. Mga nasa 60’s siguro. And she looked lovely.I didn’t think anyone connected to the graceful-looking lady would be a... bad person.Hindi ka nakakasiguro. Sa dami nang masasamang mga nangyayari sa mga kababaihan sa mga panahong ito, dapat lagi ka pa ring nag-iingat. Boses ni Mommy ko ang boses sa utak ko.Namasa agad ang mga mata ko. I badly needed her right now. Gusto kong pumunta sa kung saan man siya nagta-travel ngayon – she’s probably still in Bali – at mag-request na ipagluto niya ako ng favorite food ko. Makita ko lang siya at makasama, I knew I’d be alright.On the other hand, if she found out what I did today because of a worthless man, alam ko mapapalo ako sa puwet kahit ang tanda ko na.Napatigil ako nang may marinig ako sa labas ng kwarto. Someone was there, moving and doing something. At hindi siya nagtatangka man lang ingatan ang kanyang ingay, which meant he didn’t care if I hear. Pero sa biglang paggalaw ng ulo ko noong mapatingin ako sa pinto, I just realized I had a massive hangover.“Araayyy…” mahina kong ungol.Sa kabila niyon, alam kong kailangan kong lumabas ng kwarto. I couldn’t stay there and suffer the suspense of not finding out who my rescuer was. I remembered how extremely drunk I was. And in my heart of hearts, I believed I’d really been rescued.I heard his voice. I heard him asking me to wake up, and I couldn’t because I was so lushed. I did try to open my eyes and I saw his face as he tried to finally lift me up. I think I recognized him.Naaalala ko ang mga ito habang nakabangon na ako. Kinukuha ko ang iniwan nang kung sino mang rescuer ko na cotton shirt at boxers, masinop na nakatiklop sa ibabaw ng isang stool malapit sa kama.Nagbihis ako, at lumabas ng kwarto para kumpirmahin ang hinala ko.I found him in one of the rooms, Christopher Danse, or better known to everyone at work as Topher, and he’s painting on a canvas.Pagkakita ko pa lang sa ginagawa niya, it all clicked in my head. I do know him. My gosh, hindi lang know. Crush ko siya! I mean, iyong klase na parang sa isang celebrity wherein I really admired him, and his work and I didn’t care if he knew. He was handsome and a hunk, too.And a lone wolf. I respected that more than anything else kaya sa ilang mga pagkakataong nagkakasalubong kami sa mga hallways, tamang ‘hi’ lang ako o ngiti.He’s one of our artists in the Marketing and PR department – actually, he was the best there. Ilang beses na siyang nabanggit ni Uncle Markus and he did mention that Topher also painted. Hangang hanga si Uncle sa kanya. At ako, sa mga sandaling iyon, ay hiyang hiya naman sa kanya.Well, I must face the music now. Tumikhim ako. Sobrang focused siya sa ginagawa niya, inulit ko pa iyon ng dalawang beses at mas malakas bago siya nag-react. Lumingos siya, sandali akong tinitigan na parang wala pa siya sa present moment.Then he blinked, and awareness flickered in his eyes. Tapos nagmadali siyang tumayo at tumalsik ang hawak niyang palette ng paint kasi tinamaan iyon ng isa niyang kamay na may hawak ng brush. Sinubukan niyang habulin ang palette pero pumatak iyon sa sahig, facedown.“Oh no…” nasambit ko na lang. Nakangiwi niya iyong dinadampot sa sahig. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you or surprise you like that…” Napalunok ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla ay parang gusto kong matawa. So clumsy. So cute.Nakatingin siya sa kanyang kalat. Naglamutak ang pintura sa sahig. “It’s alright. It’s washable.” Pagkatapos ay taranta siyang bumaling sa akin. “How do you feel? I didn’t do anything to you, Ms. Lee. Kahit tanungin mo pa ang manager. Hindi ko kasi alam kung saan ka nakatira tapos sobra siyang busy kasi nagkaproblema sa bar so sabi ko, ako muna’ng bahala sa ‘yo.”“Oh no. Alam ng manager na kasama mo ako?” dismaya kong tanong.Tumango siya, nalilito. “Yes. Bakit? May problema ba?”“Patay… where’s my bag? My phone?” taranta kong tanong.“Nasa kwarto. Sa cabinet. I didn’t touch anything there din. Sorry kung nagising kang hubad pero puke was all over—”“I understand,” hiyang hiya kong sabi. “You had to clean me up. Pero sandali, I need to check my phone kasi tiyak na sinumbong na ako ng manager sa mommy ko at lagot ako. Baka hinahanap na nila ako ngayon!”Nagmamadali akong nagbalik sa kwartong tinulugan ko para hanapin ang bag ko at ang phone sa loob.TOPHERSHE’S NOT angry. Thank God!Nag-alala ako, but I didn’t think she would be unreasonable. Lahat nang nakakilala kay Jenna Diana Lee sa office, gusto siya kasi hindi siya mahirap kausapin o abutin sa kabila ng koneksyon niya sa ultimate boss naming lahat. Nakakailang nga lang ang kanyang yaman pero once you started really talking to her, she wasn’t unfriendly or suplada. On the other hand, her uncle was one of the coolest men I’d ever met. The fruit did not fall too far from the tree, I see. Pero kinabahan pa rin ako na mag-isip siya nang masama kapag nagising siyang hubad. It was touch and go there, and only after I’d escaped the room did I think of this. Hindi ko na lang talaga kayang pumasok uli sa loob.Hindi ako tsismoso, but I’d heard snippets about her story from the others in the office whenever I went there to submit my work or there’s a commission to finish. Mukhang hindi lang isang beses muntik nang maloko si Jenna nang kung sinong nagpapanggap na in love sa kan
JENNAI WAS not surprised to find out I enjoyed Topher’s company. Nakita ko agad na pareho kaming mahiyain, asiwa sa simula at maingat, pero walang komplikasyon sa katawan kapag kaharap ang isang kasundo. At magkasundo kami, and so obviously. Matapos ang unang mga sandali nang pagkaasiwa at pakiramdaman ay biglang ang daldal na lang namin. Knowledgeable kami sa parehong mga subjects at tumatawa kami sa parehong mga jokes. Nakukuha namin agad ang sinasabi nang isa’t isa, iyong klase na pwede kong simulan ang sentence at tatapusin niya. It was amazing. I wished we’d become friends much sooner. I really did. Sinabi ko pa iyon sa kanya. He was as wistful.Tinulungan ko siyang mag-ready ng hapag-kainan pagkatapos kong mag-shower at isuot uli ang damit kong fresh from the washer. Nag-init pa nga ang mga pisngi ko nang maisip kong bagong bago ang suot kong sexy underwear, lacy and sheer and black. Unless he was undressing me with his head turned away, imposibleng hindi niya nakita ang
TOPHERNAKATITIG SI JENNA sa akin, and I couldn’t look away fast enough.“You mean you knew Keith. Like, you knew about him na ni hindi ka man lang na-shock o kahit nagulat when I told you what happened?”Napapikit ako, saka nagmulat at tumingin sa kanya. “I knew Keith before the company. Barkada siya ng mga pinsan kong pumasok sa same school where he’d went, sa Ateneo. He’s arrogant and a social climber. Kilala rin siyang player. But… it’s been a while. He’s successful now so hindi ako sigurado kung gano’n pa rin siya. I am sorry, Jenna. I wasn’t close to you. Lalabas na sinisiraan ko lang siya kung may sinabi ako.”Nagbuntunghininga siya pero mukha namang hindi nagalit. “That’s okay. Mabuti na lang nalaman ko agad bago pa lumala. Kung gano’n, kanina pa lang alam mo na pala ang nangyari sa akin?”“More or less,” sabi ko. “But just think how lucky you are that you’re not going to marry the bastard.”Pinipilit niyang ngumiti, iyon ang nakikita ko bago ko sinabi ang sinabi ko. Awang awa
JENNAMIDNIGHT.“It’s Christmas Eve!” sambit ni Topher nang marinig namin kapwa ang tunog ng grandfather clock habang sine-set up niya ang pose ko sa tabi ng armchair na hinila niya sa work room. At yes, may grandfather clock si Topher sa library ng bahay niya. And I really liked that clock. In fact, I like how he designed his place. Masculine, traditional, and yet may mga shades ng black and chrome na masculine na masculine. Kasing authentic nang pagkakakilala ko sa kanya.I was back in the room where I woke up so I could get naked of the clothes I borrowed from him that night. Saka ko sinuot ang panlalaking robe na sabi niya ay itakip ko muna sa katawan ko at props sa pose ko. And now, it’s Christmas. Napabuntunghininga ako nang malalim. “Akala ko talaga darating ang Christmas Eve na wala akong pakialam sa season, or probably passed out. Mali ako. But I like the change. I like this.”Ngumiti siya. “Merry Christmas, Jenna,” sabi ni Topher habang bahagyang lumalayo. “Sorry, wala
JENNABUMAGSAK din ang panga niya, gaya kanina.Then his eyes darkened with the unchecked arousal. At napalunok ako. Kasi kung kanina, kung hindi ko man sinadyang nakita ang pagpitik ng pagnanasa sa mukha niya, ngayon ay ni hindi niya na iyon makontrol.“It’s been a long time?” tanong ko.Pipi siyang tumango.Ngumiti ako. “I haven’t seen any man look at me like that and it makes me really feel okay about my body now. Thank you.”Nag-angat sa mukha ko ang mga mata niya. “Jenna, I…” Lumunok siya. Pinanood ko ang pag-angat at pagbaba ng kanyang Adam’s apple. The hungry way he looked at me… I hungered for that, too.“You already know I wore my sexy underwear this morning for a reason?”Muli siyang tumango, saka napapikit nang mariin. At nabisto kong hindi siya naging ganoon entirely ka-successful sa pag-iiwas ng mga mata kaninang hinubaran niya ako nang marumi kong mga damit. Totoong meron siyang naramdaman.Yay!“Yes.” “I still want to do it, kahit it’s not the same man.”Napamulat
TOPHERAGAIN, she responded to the kiss so eagerly, and I groaned between our lips. Anything she did turned me on in a big way. Had I known we’d be in bed together when I was undressing her this afternoon? I had wanted her since then. I missed taking care of someone. I missed loving someone. I missed being in love, and making love with a woman like Jenna who, by her simple smile, could make my heart blossom like a plant long denied of water.And all these—my longing and hunger, I poured out to her. I kissed her deeply, and she gave back to me as hungrily, her tongue sensually playing with my tongue, her body rubbing against mine. I lifted myself from her and she knew. She opened her thighs and I placed myself between them. Ahh, her flesh felt warm to me. I couldn’t wait to take her. I rubbed my meat against her silken flesh and we both moaned. I growled against her skin. Ang sarap niya sa pakiramdam, hindi ko napigil ang aking sarili. I couldn’t stop kissing her but her breasts,
JENNAI WASN’T REALLY SURE how it was to go. I knew my first experience with a guy was sorely lacking – I didn’t cum then. I had to fake it so it would stop and anything else after that just didn’t matter. I was never excited enough. Lalo pang lumala noong mabisto ko ang panloloko.Kahit kay Keith, I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t forget.When Topher carried me to his bed, I was scared to disappoint him. But he kept kissing me and I was so excited like I had never been before, and I certainly knew he wasn’t a conman. Kasi hindi kami.We were basically both just reacting to the sexual tension we definitely feel since this started. When he got rid of his clothes, I couldn’t help but wonder about how good he looked, and how hot he moved. He was so confident and so warm, so sexy, that I could only feel what he was doing to me. The way he checked on me, connected as he kissed me, touched me, and when he went down there I was fascinated with how watchful he was of my every reaction. It was
JENNA I BECAME aware of Topher again after a long moment. He was still thrusting, but slower.“Topher…?” “Sshhh... give me a second to calm down a bit.”“Did you cum?” I asked, feeling ashamed for even not knowing. He still felt hard. Hindi man lang lumambot o lumiit.Umiling siya, pero nakangiti. “Ayokong matapos ito agad,” sabi niya. Saka siya umurong at lumabas.At nakangisi pa rin… bumaba siya roon.And he licked me, happily. It would have looked weird if it didn’t feel so good, and if watching him doing so while he watched me watch him wasn’t such a turn on. The act was so intimate, sandali akong napaisip kung hindi ba sa matagal nang lovers nangyayari ito, nararamdaman ito.Pero ni hindi ko ma-imagine itanong ito sa kanya. I didn’t want him to think that I needed more than this. I didn’t even want to think about this now. Gusto ko lang ma-excite lalo noong nakikita kong gumagapang na siya pabalik.“I’ll make you cum again,” pangako niya.Nakakahiya iyong parang iyak ng antisip
JENNA“SO, REALLY, when do you want us to get married? This summer na ba o gusto mo pang maghintay. I’m not rushing you, babe. Sina Mommy ‘yon. Pero kung hindi ka pa talaga ready, you can take all the time you need.”Napalabi ako habang tinatapos ang pagdidilig sa mga halaman ko bago kami mag-almusal pagkatapos ay umakyat para ituloy ang painting session niya na ako na naman ang modelo. “Kaya pala araw-araw ka kung magtanoong?”“Umaga, tanghali, gabi…” Ngumisi ito. “Baka lang naman kasi magbago ang isip mo at mag-set ka na ng date.”“Bukas, gusto mo pakasal na tayo.” Tinapunan ko siya ng matamis na ngiti.Sandali siyang natigilan habang nakasandal sa gilid ng dingding, suot pa ang kanyang running outfit at naaarawan ng pang-umagang sikat ng araw. Pagkatapos ay tumingin ito sa kaliwa, saka sa kanan, sa labas ng gate,, at nag-tense ako. Noong tumuwid siya at humakbang palapit sa akin, hindi ko alam kung bakit pero nagulat kasi ako at naitutok ko sa kanya ang hose ng tubig.At iyon, nata
JENNAIT WAS HIM. Ang kidnapper ko ay si Keith!Ang hayup na ‘yon!Nagbangon ang galit sa aking puso at napabangon ako sa kama. Pagkatapos naman ay nagpabalik-balik ako ng lakad sa sahig dahil sa hindi ko halos ma-contain na energy galing sa nagpupuyos kong galit. Biglang lahat ng takot na nagpapanginig sa kalamnan ko kanina ay naging pagkamuhi na ngayon. Noon lamang ako nakadama nang ganito sa isang tao. How dared he kidnap me and frighten me and my loved ones after what he did to me? So I destroyed his career>? So what?! I used to feel tiny pinpricks of guilt whenever I remembered how he’d become a pariah in his cirlce when he used to be crème de la crème after he was scandalously exposed for what he was pero ngayon?1 Nabura nang lahat! He dared defile my uncle’s study—nila ni Loren. He defiled my uncle’s house. And I was going to marry him! Mas mabuti na nangyari iyon kaysa nakasal muna ako sa buhong na Keith na iyon bago ko natuklasan kung anong klase siyang tao talaga!Narinig ko
JENNAKinuha ko iyon noong sigurado na akong malayo na siya sa pinto.Maghintay ka lang. Magpapadala ng ransom ang ina mo. Huwag kang gagawa nang kahit anong gulo para wala tayong problema at makakauwi ka agad. Nakadama ako ng matinding relief sa aking nabasa. So, ransom nga lamang ito. Salamat sa dios! Makakauwi ako nang ligtas. Ano kayang ginagawa nina Mommy? Ano kayang iniisip ni Topher? They must all be frantic with worry! I wished I could do something to let them know that I was okay. I meant, that I wasn’t being hurt. Ligtas ako, kahit kidnap situation ito. Parang takot pa ngang lumapit sa akin iyong lalaki. Ni hindi nga ako kinausap at dinaan na lamang sa note.Napakunot ang noo ko. Bakit nga ba?Takip na takip siya na parang ayaw makikilala. Siguro para hindi ko siya ma-identify pagkatapos kong makauwi at nakausap na namin ang mga pulis.Siguro nga…But…Iyong pagkakakuba nito. why did he have to hide the way he naturally stood. Dahil ba nakita ko na siya? Dahil
TOPHER“Hindi ko talaga alam na ganoon ang koneksyon nila, Topher. I swear,” umiiyak na sabi ni Evette na sobra kong kinaasiwa. Isa nga pala ito sa natagpuan kong absurd sa kanyang ugali, iyong kahit ano na lamang ay iniiyakan niya. Natataranta na naman ako kasi ayaw na ayaw ko pa namang nakakakita ng babaeng umiiyak. Hirap na hirap ang lkalooban ko.Lalo pa’t alam kong na may iba na akong girlfriend ngayon at inamin kong seryoso na kami ni Jenna ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit mugto ang kanyang mga mata noong kumatok ako sa kanyang pinto ngayong umaga.“Evette, please… don’t cry. I just wanted to make sure she’s not planning something bad sa girlfriend ko.” I saw her wince“Okay, okay… I’ll call her. Sandali lang. I’ll ask kung pwede ko siyang makausap. I’ll ask kung pwede kaming magkita.”Sa wakas, kumilos siya at kinuha ang kanyang cellphone. Tinawagan niya si Loren. Humiling na makipagkita gaya nang kanyang sinabi at pumayag naman agad
TOPHERTinuloy ko ang indayog ng aking katawan para mapaligaya ko pa siya, batid na ang bawat ungol at hiyaw niya ng sarap ay patunay na kaming dalawa…? We were right for each other from the first day we made love last Christmas. Kung maipararamdam ko lang sa kanya kung gaano ako kasaya. I meant to keep this woman in my arms forever. I couldn’t imagine my life now without her.Hindi nagtagal at nataboy na ang mga iniisip ko ng papasarap at papasarap na pakiramdam ng mga ulos. I was thrusting faster now, harder, and she was getting louder.“Topher… Topher… dios ko! Ang sarap. How can you do this to me? You make me feel so good!”“We’ll do this every day. And every night. And all our free time in between. Oh, Jenna… ang sarap-sarap mo. I’m so crazy about you. And sarap-sarap mo talaga!”“Topher… Topher, malapit na ako! Malapit na—ahhh!”I held her as she convulsed, her inner muscles massaging my cock that I had to grit my teeth so I wouldn’t cum with her… yet. Gusto kong mapatagal pa it
JENNAHalos patapos na kami sa main dish ng meal nang magpasukan ang mga relatives. Nakuha ko agad nang makita ang kanilang ngiting ngiting mga mukha na isa itong surpresang ginawa ni Topher para sa akin.“Kaya pala okay lang na hindi na tayo bumalik, ha?” sita ko sa kanya bago ako tumayo para tanggapin ang unang lumapit at yumakap—si Auntie Claud.And then everyone was there, and it was a happy mess. This time, hindi na ako nakapiyok pa noong in-assert ni Topher ang sarili niya bilang boyfriend ko. Not when Uncle Markus was all about the two paintings of us together. And not when my mother looked so happy for me. Bumulong ang mommy ni Topher na noong una raw ay nagduda pa siya pero ngayon ay hindi na. Medyo naawa pa nga ako kay Maxine dahil halatang nalulungkot siya at pilit lang ang kanyang mga ngiti. Mabuti na lamang at may ilan sa mga artist friends at team ay invited din sa resto sa isa pang mesa at kahit papaano, nawili si Maxine sa pakikipagkwentuhan sa may tatlong binatang na
JENNA“BEFORE THE EXHIBITION, the paintings were shown in an online viewing for private collectors who would pay big for whatever they liked. My mom is one of those, as well as your uncle and aunt, and many of their friends. Iyong dalawang paintings na iyon ang napasama sa limang piece ko na napili sa bidding. Iyong iba, mga gawa ng mga kasama ko sa exhibit. Sabihin na nating malaki ang nawala sa bulsa ni Mommy sa paglaban sa ibang bidders sa partner paintings na iyon that I had to privately lend her half of the bid amount so she could cover it on the same day.”“How much did they sell? ‘Yung sa atin?”“I was planning to sell it at 150K.”Kumunot ag noo ko. “Gano’n ang presyuhan kapag paintings mo?”“US dollars.”Nahigit ko ang hinga ko. “What? So nag-bidding and how much ang offer?”“First offer sa online bidding was 300K. Yes… US dollars pa rin. Hindi lang mga Pilipino ang nasa group na iyon, baby. Collectors from all over the world.”Ramdam ko ang paglaki ng mga mata ko. Na-stretch
Jenna“Mommy?! Anong ginagawa mo rito?” nagawa kong masambit matapos ang ilang sandali habang tinatago na sobra akong dismayado. What the hell was she doing here?Sa halip na sumagot agad ay niyakap niya ako at hinalikan sa magkabilang pisngi. “I came here as soon as I heard na may exhibit ang boyfriend mo.” Pagkatapos ay tiningnan niya ako nang may paninisi sa mukha. “Do I have to learn this from your uncle, Jenna. I wanna let it go but Claud said he’s a really good painter and I wanna see his work. And I love them! I bought a couple. Is it true he’s a really good boy, as well. You did good, sweetie. I’m so happy for you!”Tumikhim ako para lang makasingit sa kanyang litanya, lalo’t nakakatawag na ng pansin ang mga sinasabi niya sa mga nasa malapit. She seemed so happy she hadn’t realized she was being so loud. “Ahm, thank you, mom. Sinong kasama mo? Did you come alone? How did you know to come here?”“With your aunt and uncle and a friend, whom I would like to introduce to you a b
JennaVALENTINE’S DAY.I wouldn’t miss Topher’s exhibit in the world.So, after carefully dressing myself up for him, I drove to where he was going to do his exhibit with his artist friends. And the venue was packed with art enthusiasts and curious folks. I had a special invitation, though, and I was so excited to see Topher’s work on display and quite apprehensive about our two paintings together. Syempre, nakamata rin ako sa paligid ko. Baka kasi totohanin ng mga katrabaho kong dumalo at magkita-kita kami kung saan ayokong makasama sila.Nang maging pamilyar sa akin ang ilang paintings, alam kong nakarating na ako sa spot kung saan naroroon ang mga gawa ni Topher. Mas maraming tao roon at alam kong hindi lang dahil magaling siya kundi dahil isa siya sa mga featured painters. Kahit hindi masyadong alam sa work ang kanyang isa pang karera ay marami siyang followers sa art world.Hinahanap ko siya nang pasimple. Oo, alam na ng mga katrabaho namin ang tungkol sa amin pero hindi pa kam