1.

Fear.

That was the emotion that hovered over my head as I stared at the paper in my hand.

My doubting gaze found that of my best friend and personal doctor, Nova who mirrored my expression.

She understood. She had to. We had gone through this scene six times already.

The tears I had been trying to keep at bay finally broke through and my vision became blurry as my eyes scanned through the words printed on the paper.

A stray tear dropped on the paper, and I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand to make sure another didn’t fall.

The result wouldn’t change but I couldn’t help but read it again and again. I needed to make sure it wasn’t a dream.

My emotions were conflicting. I didn’t know if I wanted this result to be a reality or a dream.

I was pregnant. Again. And it was going to be my seventh pregnancy in four years, all of which never passed the first trimester.

The happiness I was supposed to feel with the news had been replaced by panic. My throat was tight and I was aware of how difficult it was to keep my air down

Since I lost my last pregnancy five months ago, desperation has become my best friend. I wanted to carry my baby. I wanted them to wrap their tiny but perfect fingers around mine tightly.

Dread warned me not to be too optimistic again, not with my multiple failures laughing at my vain efforts to be a mother.

“Breathe, Mali” Nova commanded softly and it was at that moment I became aware that my body was fighting for the air I was unintentionally depriving it of.

“Nova, are you certain that I’m pregnant? This isn’t a joke or anything like that?” My voice shook with every word as I spoke. How could it not? Fear had taken a seat beside me on the cushion, and I knew my longing was visible on my face.

“Mali, you know I would never pull such an important joke on you.” She sighed, a gloomy smile which contrasted with her glowing brown skin appearing on her face “The test results are correct. You are pregnant. Again” She added.

I was losing hope that I would ever be able to give my husband the child he wanted and it made shame fill my gut. The news that I was pregnant didn’t bring the same delight as it should anymore.

I remembered the first time I had heard the same news here in her office. Silas had been with me, and he had been so happy, just like he was the next three times until he couldn’t be bothered to fake it anymore and I didn’t blame him.

“Do you think this time will be different?” I asked, yearning for her to give me something I could hang on to.

“I don’t want to do this to you, Mali but you can’t give up just yet” She whispered. “I want us to be more careful and hopeful this time, okay? You need to stop working so hard. You just came in from a trip and you had one less than two weeks ago. It bothers me when you don't rest. It’s always work. You need to take care of yourself more” Nova complained, and I sat back in my seat feeling guilty.

“You know I can’t not work. The company needs my constant supervision.” I argued.

I was the general manager of the luxury jewellery brand, IXI. It was a family company and as the heir to it, Dad had finally allowed me some power to manage the company and I needed to prove to him and the shareholders that I was capable of becoming the next CEO.

We weren’t old money, but our family’s name had been known for three generations, so we made a buzz anytime our name was mentioned. We had a pretty good reputation and I needed to make sure I lived up to its expectations.

During my business trip to Germany, I had been ill and decided to see Nova and run some tests. I thought it would be flu or stress-related but I was pregnant.

“I’m giving you this advice as your doctor, not as your friend.” Nova leaned forward in her seat and pinned me with a hard stare. “With your previous history of miscarriages, you need to be very cautious. You can never be too careful in your first trimester so you need to avoid anything that will cause you any form of stress at all.” Her voice was hard as she spoke.

“I will try, I promise,” I told her with a grim expression, but she was already shaking her head in disapproval.

“No, Mali. Not try, you have to. If you don’t stop working so hard, I’ll have to call Dad myself and complain to him. He would listen to me, you know?” Nova threatened and I knew she wasn’t joking. Nova was the daughter of my dad’s driver, so we had grown up together. Dad saw her as a daughter too, so he listened to her, even more than he did to me.

“Fine. I’ll call Dad on the way home and let him know I’m going to be taking a back seat on the company’s operation for three months” I promised, and Nova nodded her head in approval even though I knew she wished it was longer that, but she knew I wouldn’t agree to be absent from work for too long. I couldn’t show signs of weakness when I wasn’t yet CEO.

“Good. You don't have to be afraid. I’ll be with you like always and you also have your Dad and Silas as well. We will all be here to make sure this baby stays. This one will be a fighter” She promised and I wanted to believe I could hang on to it.

“I know” I replied, wiping the tears from my eyes. “I can’t believe I'm pregnant again,” I said laying my palm against my flat belly.

“You are and I'm going to be an aunt.” She said with a more genuine smile which I managed to return.

“Now let’s leave the serious things and talk about that trip, did you get the deal?” She asked, leaning forward with an anticipating smile.

“Of course I did” I said smugly “I knew I was going to get it” My grin was almost splitting my face in half.

“That’s my girl” She praised and I rolled my eyes when she spoke her next question “Met any hotties?”

“Nova” I pointed my fingers in her face warning “Don’t start. I wouldn’t cheat on Silas”

“I know. You love him too much”

I had some more tests done on Nova’s insistence before I began to hurry home. After talking to Nova, I felt a little more reassured, so I was eager to break the news to my husband.

I had been married to Silas for five years. We had gotten married after he was arranged for me by my stepmother, Sabrina, but we had fallen in love with each other shortly after we were introduced to each other.

Silas was not the type of man Dad wanted me to get married to. He was just an accountant working for IXI but Sabrina had tried her best to convince Dad. She claimed he was a good man, well-educated and ambitious. Dad had always liked people who were ambitious and agreed to have a meeting with Silas first before deciding.

Dad had been hesitant when Silas came over for dinner the first time but I found him attractive. He was polite unlike most men in our circle and could not take his eyes off me. That was enough for me to convince Dad that I wanted to go on a date with Silas.

On our first date, he was the perfect gentleman and I fell head over heels in love with him. I spent months convincing Dad to let us get married and he eventually agreed because he could never say no to me.

Silas cared for me a lot and spoiled me to the envy of other women that I forgot that he was arranged for me. He was the only good thing I got from my stepmother. But recently, he has started to change and not for the better.

He treated me badly and would yell at me for every single thing I did, no matter how little it was. I didn’t blame him at all because I knew it was because of my constant miscarriages. His mother, Patrice also told me once I was a jinx and the cause of my misfortunes.

I remembered crying myself to sleep that night because she had said that and other mean things to me in front of Silas and he didn’t do anything to defend me and never brought it up again. It was almost like he silently agreed with his mother. I had gone to Belgium the next day on a trip with a heavy heart and Silas hadn’t bothered to say goodbye.

I called my dad as soon as I was back in the car, and he answered on the first ring.

“My princess, are you back in the country?” The familiar husky voice filled my ears making me sigh in comfort. My dad always felt and sounded like home even though he was not physically present with me.

“Yes, Daddy. I know I was supposed to arrive tomorrow, but I wasn’t feeling too well so I decided to come back as soon as the meeting ended so I could see Nova at the hospital instead of waiting till tomorrow.”

“What did she say? Are you okay? Do you need me to come get you?” I smiled fondly as Dad began to worry like I knew he would.

“No, it’s nothing serious. I’m pregnant, Daddy” I couldn’t stop the quiver in my voice as I broke the news to him.

“Ohhhhh” Dad breathed out. “That’s amazing. Congratulations princess. I’m going to be a grandfather” My eyes watered at the excitement in his voice.

“Don’t be too excited, Daddy. You know what happens every time. I don’t want to put my hopes up this time” I couldn’t control the sob that broke out and didn’t make any effort to stop the tears.

“No, Lia” Dad scolded. “I don’t want to hear any of those negative thoughts from you. They are going to stay. I can feel it. You know I’m never wrong.” He argued.

“I want to believe you too, Daddy but I’m just so scared,” I told him with a small voice that mirrored how vulnerable I felt.

“You will be fine, princess. I promise." His voice was hard with the positivity I couldn't muster the courage to feel "Where are you?”

“I’m on my way home to break the news to Silas.”

“Does he know you are back?” I shook my head slightly before remembering that he could not see me.

“No, I wanted to surprise him but now I have an even better surprise. I hope he will be happy.” Silas had acted so indifferently when I broke the news about my pregnancy seven months ago.

“I am sure he will.” I hadn’t told Dad about the changes in Silas’s behaviour. He would ask me to get a divorce but I didn’t want to leave my husband. I loved him “You need to take extra care of yourself, Princess. No hard work this time, okay?”

“That’s actually why I called you. I am going to take time off work until my first trimester passes at least. I promised Nova that I’d be very careful and avoid getting stressed.”

“That’s good. You deserve time to rest. I’ll talk to Blair about stepping in for you during your break. I need to go to a meeting now. Call me when you get home.

When the call disconnected, I decided to call Silas so I could slyly ask him where he was, but he didn’t pick up the call.

I called three more times with the same result, so I called his assistant, Evans instead.

“Hello, Mrs Hill.” He answered on the first ring.

“Is my husband at the office today? I’ve tried calling him, but he won’t answer his calls.”

“No, ma. He didn’t come in today. He said he was going to work from home all day.”

“Okay. Thank you, Evans” I disconnected the call with a frown on my face. Silas had never ignored my calls before, especially if he wasn’t at work and it made me worried if he was sick.

I told the driver to hurry up so we could get to the house on time. I called again but he didn’t answer the call which made my worry grow.

The car rolled into the huge, gated mansion which was gifted to us by my dad as a wedding gift and the first thing I noticed was Blair’s car parked beside Silas’s.

I wasn’t close with Blair since we were step-siblings and her mother hated me but what was more worrisome was that she was in my house when I wasn’t present. As far as I knew, Blair hated Silas. It was the one thing she could never keep to herself and she always made it a habit to voice out her annoyance with my husband whenever she could.

I rushed into the house, “Silas! Silas, are you home? Blair!” I called out but there was no answer.

My housekeeper, Margaret ran out from the kitchen with wide eyes when she saw me standing there.

“M…M…Maliah” She stuttered “You are back” Magaret has been working for me and Silas since we got married and she was the sweetest woman, almost taking the space of a mother.

“Yes, Maggie. How are you? I hope you didn't have any difficulties during my absence?” I asked her but my mind was absent as they kept darting to see if I would see or hear them while I hugged her.

“Not at all.” She stuttered again and my attention went back to her. She was behaving skittish and I wondered if she was busy in the kitchen.

“Why are you stuttering, did I disrupt your work?”

“No. She waved the question “We were expecting you tomorrow?” she said quickly, waving her hands all over the place.

“I came back early. Where are my husband and sister? I saw their cars outside.”

“They…they…they are upstairs. I’ll go and call them for you” Before Margaret could make her way up the stairs, I stopped her.

“Don’t worry about that. I don't want to disturb you further. I'll look for them myself” I insisted, and Margaret froze. She slowly turned back to me with wide eyes.

“It’s not a problem, I should let them know you are back” She tried to climb the stairs again, but I stopped her

“There is no need for that, Maggie. I promise. You can go back to work” I gave her an assuring smile and watched as she took her trembling body back to the kitchen. I huffed, amused by her behaviour and began my way up the stairs.

I checked the drawing room upstairs and other rooms but saw no one. My heart began to pound as I steadily made my way towards our bedroom.

“It’s not what you think Maliah. There is no way Silas would betray you” I didn’t even know what I was thinking but I felt alarmed all of a sudden.

I stopped before my bedroom door and closed my eyes to calm myself. I let out a shaky breath before slowly pushing the door open while my heart hammered against my rib cage.

I felt the world stop around me and my knees became weak when I stepped into the room and took in the sight before me.

My body shook with betrayal, and I felt my heart constrict painfully in my chest. My hands couldn’t hold on to my bag anymore, so it fell to the floor with a loud thud, startling the two people who had been wrapped around each other, lost in pleasure on my marital bed.