The doctor looks out at the rest of us then. “If I were you, I would be praying for a miracle. And if not then…for peace.”I can’t help the tears that begin to drip down my cheeks at this news. I don’t even try to stop them. I hear my boys start to cry next to me, devastated.They’ve just barely got
On the morning of the fifth day, my eyes fly open when I hear a hiss.Victor has his eyes pressed shut, his jaw clenched together. The tube was removed from his throat yesterday and he can breathe on his own now, but he’s been sleeping the entire time I’ve been here.“Oh my god,” I say, leaning for
The doctor comes in then, his face sunny. He greets Victor, looking him over, listening to his pulse, measuring some vitals and checking the machines. I watch Victor closely as he responds to the doctor’s questions. His mind and spirit are clearly intact, but his face, his skin…He’s clammy and an a
When we come back to the house, everyone is on the porch waiting for us.My mother, Emma, and Delia are standing there, the boys in front of them. Huge bright smiles light Alvin and Ian’s faces – they’re so, so excited to see their dad.I can’t help but laugh when I take them in, and Victor works to
The paramedic says a stern word to Ian about jostling his father and Ian just bares his teeth at him. Victor laughs, and so do I. The paramedic just shakes his head and keeps pushing, settling Victor into the living room where I’ve cleared a space. I follow Victor into the room and my mother and si
Rafe carefully places Victor on his side of the bed while I pull back the sheets. The two brothers cheerfully joke about the battle and the siege, about what happened next and how poor Rafe had to clean up Victor’s mess while Victor had what Rafe calls a “nice four-day nap.” Victor laughs at this an
I help him to lay down and get his pillows right. Then, I leave him for a moment to go and change into my pajamas. When I come back to bed and turn off the light, I can see that he is already asleep.I curl up next to him, ready for this long night.As the hours pass, Victor gets worse. I don’t sle
I feel, suddenly, as if I am inside a dream.It’s a waking one, though, in which I am fully conscious, which is very new for me. And very unnerving.I feel myself in a separate space – a world with its own rules, its own gravity and physics. But there’s nothing here. There is just darkness, blacknes