When we come back to the house, everyone is on the porch waiting for us.My mother, Emma, and Delia are standing there, the boys in front of them. Huge bright smiles light Alvin and Ian’s faces – they’re so, so excited to see their dad.I can’t help but laugh when I take them in, and Victor works to
The paramedic says a stern word to Ian about jostling his father and Ian just bares his teeth at him. Victor laughs, and so do I. The paramedic just shakes his head and keeps pushing, settling Victor into the living room where I’ve cleared a space. I follow Victor into the room and my mother and si
Rafe carefully places Victor on his side of the bed while I pull back the sheets. The two brothers cheerfully joke about the battle and the siege, about what happened next and how poor Rafe had to clean up Victor’s mess while Victor had what Rafe calls a “nice four-day nap.” Victor laughs at this an
I help him to lay down and get his pillows right. Then, I leave him for a moment to go and change into my pajamas. When I come back to bed and turn off the light, I can see that he is already asleep.I curl up next to him, ready for this long night.As the hours pass, Victor gets worse. I don’t sle
I feel, suddenly, as if I am inside a dream.It’s a waking one, though, in which I am fully conscious, which is very new for me. And very unnerving.I feel myself in a separate space – a world with its own rules, its own gravity and physics. But there’s nothing here. There is just darkness, blacknes
Then, I lay this body down next to his, and I let our forms merge, the edges of mine passing seamlessly through the edges of his. Not all the way, but enough. Enough to share.“Take it,” I whisper – and again, it’s not words. Just…the message. I feel him respond, hearing me. “Take it,” I say again.
A few hours later, wrapped in our coziest robes, Victor and I step out of our room.As soon as we walk out, I can hear the noise of our boys downstairs, laughing and talking as they have their breakfast.I clutch my robe tightly around my neck as I hear them and look up at Victor, a huge smile break
I could go into all of the details, of course – my memories of going to that place, somewhere in my mind but also somewhere beyond it. Of what it looked like there, of what we did, of how we…made the exchange. But…I suppose that some things I want to keep secret. Just between us.So, I improvise.“I
“Me me me,” he says, hardly able to contain his excitement. “My turn, mama. Please.” And he looks down, again, at his little girl. “Well,” I say, shifting her in my arms and leaning forward so Ian can better see her face. She frowns in her sleep, squirming a little and making me smile. “I was think
Several hours later, I’m changed and curled up more comfortably in my bed with Victor by my side, a baby in each of our arms, and our boys curled up like puppies at the end of the bed. Archie is on the bed too, cuddled between them. We sit quietly together, all still focused on the two little babie
“It’s all right, doctor,” I say, giving her a little smile and nodding towards the boys. “We found them.” “Oh my god,” she says, shaking her head and placing a hand over her heart. Then she frowns at them. “How did they…” “Window,” Victor says, gesturing towards it and sighing. “It’s all right. Th
“Come on, Evelyn,” the doctor says confidently as Victor squeezes my hand, his eyes darting between my face and the first baby, which the doula is now wrapping in her first swaddle. “One more push, and then you’ll be done, and you can hold your little girls.” “Okay,” I huff, sitting up and shifting
Slumped on the couch, Ian heaves a gigantic sigh. “What is taking so long,” he mutters, glaring angrily at the steps as if they’ve personally offended him. “You knew it would take a while,” Bridgette murmurs, running a hand over Ian’s soft brown hair and smiling fondly at her nephew. She sighs and
“Oh my god,” Victor gasps, instantly wide awake. “Oh my god,” he says again, grabbing my face and searching it like it has answers. “Are you – are you okay?” “Yes,” I say, nodding but then belying my answer with an immediate moan. I grit my teeth, my hand going to my stomach as I weather the contra
And between them, my three Alphas have kept me sane. Even though every other part of the end of this pregnancy has worked hard against that sanity. Very, very hard. Even though the TV is on, capturing both of our attention, Ian very suddenly turns his head towards my stomach, like a dog hearing a w
As it turns out…I cannot. I cannot spend 3 months in bed, waiting for my babies to be born. Two and a half months later, I’m basically climbing the walls, I’m going so crazy sitting here in this bedroom, waiting for my little girls to be born. I’ve done it this long, though. I’ve stayed in my bedr
“Why?” Victor asks, suddenly serious in the sea of merriment. “Evelyn, why aren’t you here? What’s wrong?” “Um…” she says, her eyes glancing away awkwardly. “Because…I went into early labor…and I’ve been put on bedrest…” The tablet cracks as it falls to the floor. Rafe gasps, reaching down for it