1

Alessia

“I’m sorry Miss Alessia but you’ve been diagnosed with leukaemia.” The nurse said in a solemn voice and I felt like all the breath had been knocked out of me. My ears started ringing and my heartbeat accelerated rapidly as I opened and closed my mouth, unable to form words.

“It’s not possible! How? Why?” I finally rasped out in a weak voice. The nurse looked at me with pity as she handed me an envelope. I took a slow breath and stretched out my hands to collect the envelope.

I could not explain how anxious I felt as I tore open the envelope. I brought out a copy of the test result and I wondered how this single piece of paper could make or break me in an instant. My eyes tested up as I read the words over and over again.

I don’t believe this! It’s not possible.

I shook my head in denial and my hands started shaking uncontrollably. I can’t accept this but the truth was glaring at me so how could I deny it?

“I know it sounds bad, Miss Alessia but it is not incurable, though we have to begin your treatments as soon as possible or it will get worse and you will have little time left. All the details have been sent to your mail. You need to calm down, go through it and book your appointment. You will be fine.” The nurse said with a small smile but I could not concentrate on what she was saying, I felt like all the energy had been drained out of me and my whole life was flashing

before my eyes.

“Thank you,” I said in a small voice and stood up to leave. I didn’t know how I made it out of the hospital but I found myself sitting on a bench at a park not far from the hospital.

I felt completely lost, scared and shattered. I felt like a child who had just lost her mom in a crowded room. I was terrified as the nurse's words kept ringing in my ears like a mantra.

I was sick! I had Leukemia, cancer of the blood why did it choose me? Why now? What did I do to warrant such punishment in the form of an ailment? I have always been honest and kind so why me?

I will die!

I would die if I didn’t begin treatment and I had to start it immediately.

My eyes started to fill up with tears and before I could stop it I was a crying mess as I pulled out my phone from my purse. My palms were sweaty as I opened it and a letter from the city hospital popped up. My heart felt like it was going to burst from all the pressure.

I took deep breaths to calm myself as my finger hovered over the mail.

“It’s okay Alessia, you can do it,” I whispered shakily.

“It is probably an apology letter for giving me the wrong diagnosis.” I closed my eyes to calm my nerves and I hoped it was a mistake.

I clicked open and my vision became blurry when I read the second line. Who was I kidding? How can the best hospital in the city ever make a mistake?

Tears continued streaming down my face and I choked down a sob when I read the cost of the treatment. It felt like my world was being ripped apart right before my eyes and I was scared. I was to come for chemotherapy for 5 to 6 times every month and each session cost $20k along with other expenses. Where would I find that kind of money?

“I thought it was a flu…or an allergic reaction. How could I have been so wrong?” I whispered between sobs.

It had turned out to be something worse. It was worse than my darkest nightmares. I didn’t know what to do and it felt like something was restricting my airflow as I sobbed.

Why me? They said it’s curable but how am I going to pay for the treatments? I have nothing!

What am I going to sell that will give me that kind of money every month? I

I felt hopeless as I thought about my life and all the choices I had made over the years. Choices that did not include my savings. I wasn’t idle or jobless, I had a well-paying job and I tried my best in all that I did but I was poor. I had nothing to fall back on but I never needed it until now.

I had invested all that I had into the love of my life, he had lost his job and had no way out, he was losing himself and getting depressed over it and I decided to step up and help. I have never been one to look away when my loved one was suffering and I was more than happy to help, hoping to ease his burdens and give him a chance at a new and better life.

But now I needed to be treated and I didn’t know how to go about getting the money. I felt overwhelmed and drained as I cried.

I was startled by the sound of laughter and turned to see a couple taking a walk in the park. I felt a pinch of jealousy in my heart as I looked at how energetic they were.

They were healthy and had each other. My eyes widened when the thought registered in my mind and I realized that I wasn’t alone.

I didn’t have to go through all these alone. I had Xabier.

I have a boyfriend who loved me with his entire being and I felt a deep conviction that he would find a way to make everything better.

That thought consoled me and I felt like the sun had just graced the sky after a thousand years in darkness. My lips lifted in a small smile as I gently wiped my tears.

My eyes felt itchy and I was pretty sure it was red and swollen too but it didn’t matter anymore I could finally see the light shining in the darkest moment of my life and I was eager to reach it and embrace it.

I stood up and my blonde locks bounced with every move I made. The shiny strands framed my face and I was glad I decided to let it loose this morning.

I tightened my hold on her purse as I took slow steps out of the park and hailed a taxi. I stepped out of the taxi and my heart rate picked up, my hands felt sweaty and my nerves were over the roof. I felt unsure of what to do and I couldn’t gather the courage to walk up to the beautiful wooden door that stood just a few steps away from me.

I tried to calm down but my body tensed up as I thought about how I was going to break the news to Xabier.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding as I walked up to the door and raised my hand to knock before I lost the little courage I had mustered. My eyebrows creased in confusion and worry as I noticed the slightly opened door.

It was unlike Xabier to leave the door open. I thought as I took slow, cautious steps into the house.

“Xabier. Xabi…are you in here?” I called out into the house but the living room was empty and the lights were switched off.

I walked further into the room and my ears picked up some funny sounds coming from the room.

It sounded like the furniture was being moved and someone was in pain. My heart ached at the thought of Xabier being in pain as I quickly turned the knob and pushed the door open.

I didn’t know what to expect when I stepped into the room but it was not this. I felt like a bucket of cold water had been splashed all over my body as I stared wide-eyed at the scene that was unfolding before me.

Xabier was laying on his back as a guy I didn’t know fucked him. He was moaning loudly and I could see the pleasure on his face as he ran his hands all over the guy’s torso.