Chapter 3: Inappropriate

I never should have done that! Kung alam ko lang na ganito ang mangyayari ay hindi ko na sana siya inasar pa. Sana ay sinabi ko na lang agad na pinsan ko ang tumawag sa akin 3 days ago! Now, he doesn’t take his eyes off of me for 3 days!

Kung saan ako magpunta ay naroon din siya. Well except, of course, in the bathroom! But still… hindi niya inaalis ang tingin niya sa akin. I’m getting so conscious already. Was he really jealous? Talaga bang nagugustuhan niya na ‘ko? Because that would be a good thing, right?

Mas mapapadali noon ang mission kong gamitin siya laban sa ama niya! But still… this is frustrating me!

Huminga ako nang malalim at ngumiti nang bahagya para itago ang inis ko. Humarap ako sa kaniya at mas ngumiti pa.

“Are you seriously going to watch my every move, babe?” Even though I’m smiling, the irritation didn’t escape my tone.

Tumitig siya sa akin bago bumuntong hininga at umiiwas ng tingin. Lumayo siya sa akin at bumalik sa sofa sa living area.

Maybe I can actually make use of this chance to completely seduce him, right? Kung totoo ngang nagseselos siya… he’s probably interested in me already. Baka malapit niya na akong magustuhan at kung hahayaan ko lang ang sarili ko na mainis, wala akong mararating sa misyon ko!

I collect myself and decide to go to him. Nasa likod niya na ako ngayon . Pinatong ko ang dalawa kong braso sa headrest ng sofa at inilapit ang sarili ko sa kaniya. Amoy na amoy ko ang kaniyang bango.

“Baby…” tawag ko sa kaniya.

Kita ko ang pagkunot ng kaniyang noo bago lumayo sa akin at tinignan ako.

“I’m sorry about the call. My cousins called me and I was teasing my girl cousin so I was laughing. It was really not worth mentioning, but I noticed that you were jealous so I teased you a little,” paliwanag ko.

“I wasn’t jealous,” aniya at binalik ang tingin sa kaniyang laptop.

Ngumuso ako. Ang hirap hirap niyang landiin. Sinusubok niya talaga ang pasensya ko.

“Hm, how about this? I know a place where we can date. It’s a resto-bar. We’ll have dinner there and we can also have fun, hm?” I lean closer to him but he just moves away. “Ayaw mo?” tanong ko.

Hindi siya sumagot kaya sumubok ako ulit.

“We can check the place later and if you really don’t want to eat there, then I know another place. It’s also a resto-bar but it has a more romantic ambience!” excited kong sabi, pero parang wala lang siyang interes sa mga pinagsasasabi ko.

I puff some air out and is about to give up when I hear him sighing a defeat. Lumiwanag ang mukha ko.

“Fine, we’ll swim this afternoon and then have our dinner kung saan mo gusto,” pagpayag niya.

I squeal in excitement. Nakita ko ang pag-iling niya na para bang iniinsulto niya ang pagkatuwa ko. Umirap ako nang nakangiti.

When afternoon comes, lumabas na kami ng suite at bumaba papuntang pool. I am wearing a black one-piece backless laced swim suit under my white laced summer dress. Si Dr. Ricaforte ay katulad lang din ng terno niyang suot kahapon pero iba ang disenyo. Ngumuso ako nang mahuli niya akong nakatingin sa kaniya. I take off my dress and I see him watching me.

Nilublob ko ang katawan ko sa tubig. Mainit ang tubig dahil palubog na rin ang araw at malamig na ang hangin. May heater ‘yong pool kaya parang naging jacuzzi na rin siya.

“Zac, come on! The pool’s warm!” sigaw ko sa kaniya.

Hinubad niya ang kaniyang polo at nilagay niya ang mga gamit namin sa lounger. Pagkatapos ay lumapit na siya at umupo sa edge ng pool, nakalublob ang dalawang paa sa tubig.

I let myself float as I swim towards him. Pinanood niya lang akong languyin ang distansya naming dalawa. Umangat ako at nakitang siyang titig na titig sa akin. I smile at him, causing him to look away. I chuckle as I lean my back against the wall of the pool.

I look up at the sky. The sun is already setting and its rays are warm and relaxing along with the wind breeze and the heat of the pool water enveloping my body.

Ngayon na lang ako ulit nakapagpahinga nang ganito. I never stopped working since I started doing it. Working was fun and I liked it. But when my parents died, tila ba bigla ko na lang nakalimutan kung bakit nga ba ako nagta-trabaho. It wasn’t fun anymore. Maybe because the real reason why I do it is no longer here. The real reason why I fell in love with business is not here anymore.

“Zac...” I call him.

“What?” walang interes niyang tanong na siyang ikinatawa ko nang mahina.

“Why did you pursue medicine instead of business like your parents?” tanong ko.

Ilang minutong walang nagsalita. My question is random, I know. That’s why it’s understandable that he doesn’t want to answer it. But I wait.

Matapos ang ilan pang minuto ay bumuntong hininga siya bago nagsalita, “Because someone has to be a doctor,” aniya.

“So you chose to be a doctor out of obligation and not because you like studying medicine?” Tumingin ako sa kaniya. He’s looking at the sunset.

He sighs once more and turns his head to look at me.

“Maybe it was out of obligation at first or maybe it wasn’t. Either way, I’ve come to love what I’m doing as I continue doing it, regardless of what I felt about it at first.”

Nanatili ang mga mata niya sa akin at ganoon din ako. Pero ako ang unang umiwas ng tingin sa kaniya at binalik ang tingin ko sa lumulubog na araw. After a while, I swim again. Pag-ahon ko ay nakita kong nakaupo na sa lounger si Dr. Ricaforte at pinapanood lang ako i-enjoy ang sarili ko.

Umalis ako ng pool na nakasimangot. He’s still watching me. Kinuha ko ang towel at pinunasan ang sarili ko. Umupo ako ng lounger at humarap sa kaniya.

His intense eyes remain watching me. Bigla akong na-conscious sa sarili ko dahil sa titig niya.

“You said we’ll swim before dinner! Ako lang naman ang nag-swimming!” inis kong bulalas sa kaniya.

“I wasn’t in the mood to swim. Plus, you looked like you’re having so much fun, I didn’t want to disturb you,” he explains.

Umirap ako.

We arrived at the resto-bar. It’s the first one I recommended. Hindi naman umangal si Dr. Ricaforte kaya hindi na kailangan na umalis pa rito.

It’s a sky lounge resto-bar at nasa gitnang bahagi ng venue ang dance floor. Napapalibutan ‘yon ng mga tables and couches. Dumiretso ako sa table sa labas ng lounge at doon napiling pumuwesto. Randam ko ang pagsunod sa akin ni Dr. Ricaforte.

And just when I was about to pull the chair for me, naunahan ako ni Dr. Rcaforte at siya na ang naghila ng upuan na tama lang para makaupo ako nang maayos. My lips form a thin line as I sit on the chair.

Umupo na rin siya sa may tapat ko at kinuha agad ang menu. Tahimik ko siyang ginaya at kinuha na rin ang menu para pumili ng kakainin for tonight.

After we decide the food and drinks we’ll have, the waiter comes around and Zachary tells him our order. At nang matapos ilista ng waiter ang order namin ay umalis na siya kasama ‘yong menu books.

“This place is so nice, right?” pagsisimula ko ng usapan.

Zachary turns his head to face me. Umayos siya nang upo at marahang tumango bago kinuha iyong wineglass na may lamang tubig na dala ng waiter kanina at uminom doon.

“This would be our first date as a married couple,” makahulugan kong sambit.

Pansin ko ang pagtigil ni Zachary sa pag-inom ng tubig pero hindi niya inalis ang baso malapit sa bibig niya. Ngumuso ako at tumitig sa kaniya. Even when the lights are a bit solemn and dim, kitang kita ko ang pag-iwas niya ng tingin sa akin.

I chuckle.

After some time, our foods finally arrive. Tahimik kaming dalawa nang magsimulang kumain.

Tahimik akong nag-isip kung paano mas aakitin si Dr. Ricaforte. I may be good at business and money, but I have to admit... I’m clueless in this matter. Hindi ako sanay na ako ang naghahabol dahil simula pa lang naman noon ibinibigay na sa akin ang lahat. And I didn’t have to chase boys because they usually flock around me.

Tumikhim ako dahil hindi ko maayos ang paghihiwa ng steak sa plato ko. My lips form a thin line out of frustration. Huminga ako nang malalim at pinagpatuloy ang paghihiwa kahit irita na.

I put down my utensils and is about to call a waiter when I notice how Dr. Ricaforte’s hand takes my plate and place it in front of him. Nasa gilid iyong plato niya at maayos na ang mga hiwa ng steak niya.

Ngumuso ako at pinagmasdan siyang hiwain ang steak ko. Yeah, right. I literally forgot how good he is at using knives. He’s a surgeon after all.

“You don’t like steaks because you aren’t good at slicing them into pieces, so why did you order this?” tanong niya na siyang ikinagulat ko.

How did he... know that?

“Well...” Because you like steaks and I’m trying to impress you by ordering the same food that you like. Of course, I cannot tell him that! “I just wanted to try something new,” sabi ko na lang.

He nods as he continues slicing my steak smoothly against my plate. Nang matapos siya ay marahan niyang nilapag ang plato ko sa harap ko. Nilagyan niya na rin ng wine ang wineglass ko at mas inilapit iyon sa akin.

“Thanks,” sabi ko gamit ang maliit na boses.

“You’re welcome,” he says formally.

We continue eating until we both finish our respective portions of food.

I lean against the backrest of my chair and cross my legs. Hawak hawak ang wineglass sa isang kamay at ang isa naman ay nasa ilalim ng dibdib ko, pinagmasdan ko si Zachary na umalis sa upuan niya at pumuntang bar counter. He’s ordering drinks.

Pagbalik niya ay may dala na siyang glass jar ng peach juice at tubig. Nilapag niya sa harap ko ang isang baso at nilagyan niya ‘yon ng tubig.

“Drink water after you finish that, then drink this peach juice...” aniya bago bumalik sa kaniyang upuan.

Nanatili akong nakatingin sa kaniya. I can’t quite figure out what he’s up to.

He notices me staring intently at him, so he sighs and speaks up.

“For detoxification, Marthania Jade Louise,” aniya at tinignan ako na para bang wala akong alam.

I scoff. Well, wala naman talaga akong alam... sa mga ganoong bagay! I am not a doctor or a health worker, I make jewelries and produce money for goodness’ sake!

Sa inis ko... isang diretso kong ininom ang natitirang laman ng wineglass ko at pabarang na binaba ‘yon sa mesa. Kinuha ko ang tubig at ininom ‘yon nang mabilis. Pagkatapos ay lalagyan ko na sana ng peach juice ang baso ko nang kunin ni Zachary sa akin ang baso.

“You didn’t have to drink that fast. Let me—”

I cut him off. “I can do it!” inis kong bulalas at binawi ang baso mula sa kaniya.

Nilagyan ko iyon ng peach juice at uminom na. Somehow, the sweet and cold juice clears my head. Agad akong kumalma pero inis pa rin talaga ako.

Huminga ako nang malalim at binalingan si Dr. Ricaforte ng tingin. He’s watching me intently.

“Can we dance, please?” I beg.

Kumunot ang noo niya at mabilis na umiling.

“Why? You danced with me the night after our wedding!” sabi ko.

Bumuntong hininga siya.

“I was just trying to keep you from cheating on me hours after our wedding, Marthania Jade Louise,” kalmado siyang sagot.

Laglag panga ko siyang tinignan. Hindi makapaniwala na sinabi niya ‘yon.

“Excuse me? I’m not like that!”

“You had too much alcohol in your system that night, Marthania Jade Louise. You wanted to kiss me even when you couldn’t clearly see that it was me. Paano kung hindi ako ‘yon? You’ll kiss anyone as long as he’s good, I know...”

Well... he has a point! But still... we’re only pretending anyway, so what’s the big deal? It’s not like we married each other out of sacred love!

“I didn’t know that you actually value our marriage like it’s a completely divine and sacred thing,” I say with sarcasm.

“Because it is...” marahan at sobrang hina niyang sambit na hindi ko iyon nasundan. Nagpatuloy siya. “You’re my wife and my responsibility. I can’t have you playing around like that just to stain your family name and mine,” dagdag niya.

Natahimik ako.

“If you don’t want to dance, fine. But I will...”

Tumayo ako at umalis na roon at pumasok sa loob kung nasaan ang dance floor. It’s already late in the evening so the music starts getting wild and so is everyone inside.

Sumayaw ako. I move my body along with the music with enthusiasm, distracting myself from what happened earlier. Sunod-sunod ko namang naramdaman ang paglapit sa akin ng mga lalaki roon at matalim kong binalingan ng tingin ang asawa kong nasa labas pa rin at titig na titig sa akin gamit ang madilim na mga mata.

See that? Men flock around me like birds.

I smile as I dance more. However, in just a span of seconds, I can already feel Zachary behind me and claiming my body once again. Just like what he did the night at the bar hours after our wedding. Hinawakan niya ang magkabilang baiwang ko at hinarap ako sa kaniya.

I smile at him seductively. Ang bilis niyang bumigay.

However, when I am about to wrap my arms around his neck and make him dance with me, he grabs me by my wrist and pulls me out of the resto-bar. Sa gulat ko dahil sa ginawa niya, hindi ko napansin na nakabalik na kami sa hotel at nasa tapat na kami ng suite namin.

Dr. Ricaforte enters the room and pulls me inside. Pagkatapos ay binitawan niya ang kamay ko at ni-lock ang pinto ng suite.

“What the hell was that, Dr. Ricaforte?” Hindi ko napigilan ang pagtaas ng boses ko. “I was having fun for goodness’ sake! Kung ayaw mong sumayaw at gusto mo nang bumalik dito, hindi mo ako kailangan hilahin at isama. Sana ay umuna ka na lang!”

“You were having too much fun out there, Marthania Jade Louise. A fun that isn’t appropriate for a married woman to have, especially with those men,” kalmado pa rin siya nang sabihin iyon.

Paano niya nagagawang kumalma sa ganitong sitwasyon? Is he a robot or something? Mas lalo lang akong naiinis dahil parang wala siyang pakialam. How can he stay so fucking calm?

“I was just dancing!” pagpupumilit ko. “Inappropriate na ‘yon?”

“The reason and motive behind your actions are inappropriate, Marthania Jade Louise,” aniya na parang alam na alam niya ang plano ko.

Doon ako natahimik. Dahil... tama naman siya. Totoong may motibo ako kung bakit ko ‘yon ginawa. And I know that it’s indeed inappropriate, but I had no choice but to do that so I could seduce him. And him pointing it out so calmly makes my blood boil in annoyance.

My eyes warm as tears start clouding my vision. “Then I am sorry for being an inappropriate wife, Dr. Ricaforte...”

It was the last thing I said before turning my back on him. I go inside my room and close it behind me as tears immediately fall from eyes for whatever reason.