ETHAN I was in the shower when Charlotte knocked on my door the next morning. Maybe I had made a mistake the night before when I agreed to meet her at my apartment. When I opened the door, her gaze traveled over my body, down to the towel wrapped around my hips. It was strange to think that she had once meant everything to me, and now all her gaze could provoke in me was disgust. I cleared my throat, bringing her attention back to my face. "Sorry. I guess I arrived too early." "It's okay; you're already here; come in," I said, stepping aside. "Just give me a few minutes to finish my shower." I continued as she walked past me into the apartment. This was probably the worst idea I've ever had. I didn't want to see her, let alone hear her. Her presence was enough to make me irritated and bring back all those horrible feelings. But I needed to try if there was any chance of putting all of this behind me. After closing the door, I left her in the living room and went back to the bath
ETHAN Rosie hadn't managed to find out anything in her attempt to talk to Ellie, and after seven hours of a long flight back to New York, I was almost convinced that all of this could be connected to Chalotte's presence in my apartment. But it would be too much of a coincidence for Ellie to have seen her. And how could that be possible if she didn't even know her? Fate must be playing games with me. I was exhausted, and she continued not to respond to any of my messages, leaving me increasingly desperate. It was already late afternoon when I landed in New York and went straight to her apartment. But when I knocked on her door, she didn't answer, causing a new wave of frustration to hit me. I persisted for a few minutes, wondering if she might be ignoring me, but it seemed she wasn't even home. Where the hell could she be? I had to resort to the last option I had. If there was one person who might know where she was, it was Anna. I dialed her number while still standing in front of
ELLIEI never thought I would meet the woman who had given birth to me one day, so when my mother called me, telling me that this could be my last chance, the circumstances couldn't be worse.Seeing her like this, lying in a bed, giving her last breaths, after having rejected and judged her for abandoning me my whole life, only served to show that I was nothing but a huge egoist and a terrible person.She wasn't to blame for anything, she was just another victim, an addict, and yet I refused to know anything about her. And looking at her face now, and realizing that I would never discover what her voice was like, or her smile, made me feel even worse. I threw away any chance I had, and I would have to live with that forever.Since I arrived, I couldn't stay away from the bed where she was, and I had no idea how many hours I had been awake. The doctor said she only had a few more hours, and I wanted to stay with her until her last second, even if it was killing me inside.Standing by th
ELLIEHe didn't leave. Damn it. Why was he chasing me?"Don't make me call hotel security," I said as I unlocked the door to my room."I told you I'm not going anywhere, especially not now.""I just want to be alone, please, go away.""No. Not this time."I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I felt drained, too tired to argue anymore. My head was so full. But I knew I wouldn't get rid of him without hearing him out."What do you want, Ethan? Why are you here?""We need to talk."The weight on my shoulders made them sag."No. We don't need to. It's over. You left. And I... my only mistake was going after you. Now I see. So please, don't make things even more difficult, I have too much to deal with right now." I said, still staring at the door.I felt him approach, stopping behind me."Let's talk inside."Being near him was the last thing I wanted right now. While I felt devastated, I was also so angry. A huge emptiness seemed to grow in my stomach. But I didn't have the strength to f
ELLIE I don't know how much time had passed until I finally calmed down. But when I realized it, we were still on the floor. It was hard to accept the pain and the fact that she wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. All I wanted was to forget and pretend that none of this was happening. I just wanted to sink into his scent and warmth, into the comforting and familiar feeling of being home that he made me feel. "Ellie?" He called as I nestled my head into his neck, inhaling his scent deeply. "It's cold here. You need a hot bath, and then some sleep." "She's gone..." I reflected, recalling and feeling a twinge of pain. His body tensed beneath me. "I'll never get to talk to her..." "Shhh... Don't think about that right now," he stroked my hair. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to forget for a while. I just needed something that could make me forget. And there was something tempting right in front of me. Leaning on his shoulders, I shifted, straddling his lap as I looked into his
ETHAN Although it was still daylight, it was dark in the hotel room, as I had closed all the windows before we went to bed. She was asleep next to me. Finally getting some rest. We both needed it, but unlike me, she had reasons other than physical exhaustion. Despite being naked and needing clean, dry clothes, I was hesitant to get up and go to my room. Perhaps because I knew that getting up and leaving meant much more than it seemed. I didn't want to leave her. Especially now, as she was going through such a tough time. But I knew she wouldn't allow me to stay much longer after I said those things. I should have waited a little longer, but I needed to be honest. I gazed at her back and the beautiful curve of her hip. All I wanted was to stay in this bed with her forever, feeling her scent and the sensation of her soft skin beneath my fingers. Maybe living in a bubble wouldn't be so bad. But I knew I couldn't. Even now, I couldn't be what she needed. Because what she needed most w
ELLIEThe trauma of abandonment had haunted me my entire life, even though I didn't quite understand why, given that I had wonderful parents. But scattering Lilian Cooper's ashes into the sea had somehow helped me overcome the lingering sense that I'd always carried within me.It was so painful yet liberating at the same time. Although it took me a whole afternoon, I managed to say goodbye and express all the things I wanted, even if she couldn't hear them, but deep down, I felt she could. After forgiving her and forgiving myself, I truly felt at peace.But there were still other issues to deal with, ones that had nothing to do with my biological mother. And it seemed that spending a week in Santa Barbara with my parents hadn't worked as I had hoped, with all my problems disappearing.Ethan was still living in London. We had genuinely broken up. And I had no idea how I was going to get through this. But I decided to try my best. Immersing myself in my work, as usual.I returned to New
ETHANOn Tuesday night, the group decided to meet up at the bar. I didn't want to show up, but Bennett insisted, saying it would be even weirder if I didn't show my face, as it would be obvious that I was trying to avoid her. But that's exactly what I was trying to do.A week ago, she had sent me away. And I accepted it, because I knew those were just the consequences of my decision. But all I did when I got back to London was work like crazy and try to sort everything out so I could return.And here I was, a week later, back in Manhattan. I wanted to say that it had nothing to do with her, but that wasn't the truth. I wouldn't be able to stay away. I needed to be around, to know that she was okay, especially after seeing her like that.And when she walked into the bar next to Anna, wearing a relaxed smile on her face, I could breathe a sigh of relief. She didn't look that bad.But her smile disappeared as soon as she saw me. Then she quickly averted her gaze.They approached, taking t