ETHAN It was Saturday night when Neil knocked on my door. I stared at him, confused. He hadn't mentioned he'd be paying a visit. "Is everything alright?" I asked. "It's you who should be answering that. Just look at yourself." "I was working. What brings you here?" I gestured for him to come in. "I figured you would be, and that's why I'm here. I thought I'd pull you out of this damn apartment before it's too late, and you meld into the furniture and walls," he said, entering. "Actually, I'm not really in the mood to go out." It wasn't a good day. Especially because tonight, I should have been with her, celebrating. In fact, we would still have the whole day ahead of us, if I were in New York, due to the time difference. "Take a shower and get dressed. I'm not letting you work yourself to death on the weekend, either. I know it helps keep your mind occupied, but it's not healthy." "And what about Rosie? Did she agree to this?" "She and Phillipa are having a girls' night out o
ELLIE I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing. But it was too late to turn back now. Two hours after reading the note, I took a flight to London. A flight that would last seven hours. This would give me more than enough time to torment myself, questioning whether I was being a fool again for following my heart. The last time I did that, things didn't end well. He just showed up with someone else to push me away, and it hurt so much that I was devastated. Maybe this was a bad idea, but I knew I would never be at peace if I didn't clear things up and make one last attempt. It might seem a bit masochistic, but I needed to hear from him that it was all over and that he was really giving up on us after everything. There was also the fact that I felt a bit guilty for giving him an ultimatum. I wasn't very reasonable. And maybe I wanted to believe that he was just feeling pressured and not really giving up. He couldn't be leaving me for work. But I had to consider the possibility that
ETHAN I was in the shower when Charlotte knocked on my door the next morning. Maybe I had made a mistake the night before when I agreed to meet her at my apartment. When I opened the door, her gaze traveled over my body, down to the towel wrapped around my hips. It was strange to think that she had once meant everything to me, and now all her gaze could provoke in me was disgust. I cleared my throat, bringing her attention back to my face. "Sorry. I guess I arrived too early." "It's okay; you're already here; come in," I said, stepping aside. "Just give me a few minutes to finish my shower." I continued as she walked past me into the apartment. This was probably the worst idea I've ever had. I didn't want to see her, let alone hear her. Her presence was enough to make me irritated and bring back all those horrible feelings. But I needed to try if there was any chance of putting all of this behind me. After closing the door, I left her in the living room and went back to the bath
ETHAN Rosie hadn't managed to find out anything in her attempt to talk to Ellie, and after seven hours of a long flight back to New York, I was almost convinced that all of this could be connected to Chalotte's presence in my apartment. But it would be too much of a coincidence for Ellie to have seen her. And how could that be possible if she didn't even know her? Fate must be playing games with me. I was exhausted, and she continued not to respond to any of my messages, leaving me increasingly desperate. It was already late afternoon when I landed in New York and went straight to her apartment. But when I knocked on her door, she didn't answer, causing a new wave of frustration to hit me. I persisted for a few minutes, wondering if she might be ignoring me, but it seemed she wasn't even home. Where the hell could she be? I had to resort to the last option I had. If there was one person who might know where she was, it was Anna. I dialed her number while still standing in front of
ELLIEI never thought I would meet the woman who had given birth to me one day, so when my mother called me, telling me that this could be my last chance, the circumstances couldn't be worse.Seeing her like this, lying in a bed, giving her last breaths, after having rejected and judged her for abandoning me my whole life, only served to show that I was nothing but a huge egoist and a terrible person.She wasn't to blame for anything, she was just another victim, an addict, and yet I refused to know anything about her. And looking at her face now, and realizing that I would never discover what her voice was like, or her smile, made me feel even worse. I threw away any chance I had, and I would have to live with that forever.Since I arrived, I couldn't stay away from the bed where she was, and I had no idea how many hours I had been awake. The doctor said she only had a few more hours, and I wanted to stay with her until her last second, even if it was killing me inside.Standing by th
ELLIEHe didn't leave. Damn it. Why was he chasing me?"Don't make me call hotel security," I said as I unlocked the door to my room."I told you I'm not going anywhere, especially not now.""I just want to be alone, please, go away.""No. Not this time."I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I felt drained, too tired to argue anymore. My head was so full. But I knew I wouldn't get rid of him without hearing him out."What do you want, Ethan? Why are you here?""We need to talk."The weight on my shoulders made them sag."No. We don't need to. It's over. You left. And I... my only mistake was going after you. Now I see. So please, don't make things even more difficult, I have too much to deal with right now." I said, still staring at the door.I felt him approach, stopping behind me."Let's talk inside."Being near him was the last thing I wanted right now. While I felt devastated, I was also so angry. A huge emptiness seemed to grow in my stomach. But I didn't have the strength to f
ELLIE I don't know how much time had passed until I finally calmed down. But when I realized it, we were still on the floor. It was hard to accept the pain and the fact that she wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. All I wanted was to forget and pretend that none of this was happening. I just wanted to sink into his scent and warmth, into the comforting and familiar feeling of being home that he made me feel. "Ellie?" He called as I nestled my head into his neck, inhaling his scent deeply. "It's cold here. You need a hot bath, and then some sleep." "She's gone..." I reflected, recalling and feeling a twinge of pain. His body tensed beneath me. "I'll never get to talk to her..." "Shhh... Don't think about that right now," he stroked my hair. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to forget for a while. I just needed something that could make me forget. And there was something tempting right in front of me. Leaning on his shoulders, I shifted, straddling his lap as I looked into his
ETHAN Although it was still daylight, it was dark in the hotel room, as I had closed all the windows before we went to bed. She was asleep next to me. Finally getting some rest. We both needed it, but unlike me, she had reasons other than physical exhaustion. Despite being naked and needing clean, dry clothes, I was hesitant to get up and go to my room. Perhaps because I knew that getting up and leaving meant much more than it seemed. I didn't want to leave her. Especially now, as she was going through such a tough time. But I knew she wouldn't allow me to stay much longer after I said those things. I should have waited a little longer, but I needed to be honest. I gazed at her back and the beautiful curve of her hip. All I wanted was to stay in this bed with her forever, feeling her scent and the sensation of her soft skin beneath my fingers. Maybe living in a bubble wouldn't be so bad. But I knew I couldn't. Even now, I couldn't be what she needed. Because what she needed most w