GirlfriendNapakapit ako ng husto sa braso niya. His kisses are slow and soothing. Wala akong maramdamang galit sa paggagad ng labi niya. His kisses went deeper and I lost myself. I didn't realize how much I missed him until now. Ngayong hawak niya ako at hinahalikan, ang damdaming akala ko ay ibinaon ko na sa kaibuturan ng aking puso ay muling nangibabaw. Na kahit pa gaanong galit ang maramdaman ko, siya pa rin ang mahal ko.I gasped for air when his kisses went from my lips to my cheeks, down to my jaw. I tilted my face to give him access. Para akong malalagutan ng hininga sa init na hatid ng labi niya sa balat ko. He pulled me closer to his body."Answer me. Is it still him? Hmm?" He asked between his kisses.I groaned in protest when he stopped kissing me at bahagya ring lumuwag ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin.Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig nang marealize kung gaano ako kapusok pagdating sa kanya. I pushed him but he held me tighter. Naiangat ko ang tingin sa ginawa niya.
So BadIlang sandali pa bago ko nahamig ang sarili. Tuluyan kaming nakalabas ng mansyon nang bawiin ko ang kamay mula sa pagkakahawak niya."What was that all about?" I spat.He breathe hard at ilang sandali pa bago tuluyan akong hinarap."What do you mean?" Maang-maangan niya."Pwede ba, Santi? If this seems like a joke to you then it's not funny at all!" Galit ko nang sambit."I am not kidding around," he said grimly."What are you even doing here in the first place? At ano'ng girlfriend pinagsasabi mo?"He was obviously taken aback with my remark. Ngunit agad din siyang bumalik sa pagiging seryoso. I know he's provoked. At hindi ko rin naman intensyong gawin iyon. I'm just being realistic here."Damn, may nangyari na't lahat hindi pa rin girlfriend?" Angil niya.I felt my cheeks burned up with what he said! How dare he say that to my face! After all the efforts I exerted to forget my foolishness last night!"I-It was just-""And don't give me the one-night-stand-mistake bullshit ev
BelieveHindi ko matandaan kung kailan ang huling beses na kalmado kaming dalawang magkasama. We seemed so comfortable with each other that I want to get used to this. Then I snapped back to reality when his phone rang and I accidentally saw who it is.So they're still seeing each other, huh? He cancelled the call as if it was nothing and looked at me again. I gave him a cold glare. Muling bumabangon ang lamig ng sikmura ko. "Answer it. I don't mind," I said cooly as if it was nothing. Kahit sa loob-loob ko gusto ko nang magwala. "It wasn't important, Cian-" Muling tumunog ang cellphone niya na lalo ko lang ikinairita. I stood up and head towards my table. Napatayo rin siya nang magsimula akong maglakad palayo. "I'm done eating. Answer the damn phone and get out of my office. I still have work to do." He groaned painfully and picked up his phone. Ngunit hindi siya umalis sa kinatatayuan. I crossed my arms as I look at him, confused. Tinaasan ko lang siya ng kilay nang hindi man
DaddyMaaga pa lang ay inihanda ko na ang costing plan na kailangan ibigay kay Santi kahit na alas nuwebe pa naman ang appointment ko sa kanya. I keep pacing back and forth inside my office thinking about it. At ang lagi ko lang naalala ay ang nangyari ng nagdaang gabi.He might think I am really foolish and inconsistent dahil taliwas sa kilos ko ang mga sinasabi ko. Oh god. Kung bakit ba naman kasi palagi nalang akong tinatraydor ng sarili kong katawan?Hanggang sa byahe papunta sa building ng LHR ay wala ako sa sarili. Ilang sandali ko pang hinamig ang sarili sa loob ng sasakyan bago tuluyang kumalma. I strut my way towards the information para hingin ang floor ng office ni Santi."It's on the 10th ma'am."I just nodded at the girl and headed towards the elevator. At habang lulan niyon ay palaging nagfflashback sa isip ko ang nangyari ng nagdaang gabi. We didn't really talk about it. Kaya siguro ako napapraning ng ganito. Oh my god. Daig ko pa ang teenager na first time ma-inlove. Di
FearsMabilis na kinarga ni Santi si Callar at mahigpit na niyakap. Hindi ko naman sila matingnan ng diretso. My chest tightened at the sight of them. Gusto kong lumapit para hagurin ang likod ng anak ko na iyak nang iyak. But Santi is already doing it."Where have you been?! I waited for you!" Callar cried.Santi is whispering things to him I can't quiet comprehend. Hindi ko na nakayanan at lumapit na ako at hinagod ang likod ng anak ko at pilit din siyang pinapatahan. Hindi man lang natinag si Santi sa paglapit ko. They were focused on each other.I tried to suppress my tears once again as I look at them. Hindi ko kailanman naisip na ganito ang mangyayari. I was so prepared and sure Santi would never know about our child. Seeing this hurts me. Not for myself but for the both of them. I have been so selfish, I know.I held Callar's back as I whisper my apologies. Ngayon ko lang narealize kung gaano ka selfish ang mga desisyon ko. Ni hindi ko man lang naisip na kailangan ng anak ko an
AddictedIt sounded like a threat. It is a threat. What else would it be? I should be angry. But the traitor part of my body is telling me otherwise. Agad kong iwinaksi sa isip ang katiting na pakiramdam na iyon. Akma na akong magsasalita nang may mahihinang katok mula sa pinto. Wala akong nagawa kundi buksan iyon. It was Callar, anxious and about to cry. "What's wrong, baby?" I hugged him. Hindi mapirmi ang mga mata niya at pilit may hinahanap. "Daddy," he sobbed softly while looking straight at Santi. He then came to us and hugged Callar. At dahil yakap-yakap ko ang anak ko ay napagigitnaan nila akong dalawa. "What's wrong?" He asked softly. "I thought you left us again!" Patuloy ang mahina niyang pag-iyak. Santi's grip tightened and he kissed Callar's forehead. I just listened to them closely, my chest tightening with pain. "I won't leave, little man." It was like Callar have known his father all along. He was comfortable around Santi as if he had known him all his life.
Keep"So you're moving in with him?"I looked up only to see Bailey's mocking face. Naroon ang pangangantyaw at kalandian sa paraan ng pagtingin niya. I rolled my eyes at binalik ang tingin sa monitor."Taray nito kahit kailan! Hindi mo man lang ako na-miss?" He asked in a fake sad tone.Now that he said it, it's been a while since I saw him. Marahil ay naging busy rin siya sa mga gigs ng iba niyang alaga.I smirked and gave him my attention. Minsan lang gumala ang baklang ito. And I admit that I really missed him."Aren't you busy?""I took a quick break from work, no! Sakto rin na walang schedule si Aia ngayong linggo kaya naisipan kitang bisitahin, bruha!"I nodded. He strut his way towards my coffee table and crossed his legs."Ano na nga? Hindi mo pa sinasagot ang tanong ko!" Inip niyang tanong.For all I know gusto lang makasagap ng baklang ito ng tsismis kaya ako naisip bisitahin. I signed the last page of the folder I'm holding and pushed myself towards him. Ngising-ngisi nama
Home"Sigurado ka na ba sa desisyon mo?"Bahagya akong natigilan sa tanong ni Manang. I didn't notice the weight of all of these until now. Matagal ko ring pinigilan ang sarili ko. Mas pinangibabaw ko ang galit at takot kaya kahit sa sarili ko takot akong aminin ang totoo. I didn't know how I manage to actually stop him when he was about to let go. Was it my instincts? Or was it actually my love for him that manifested through that action? I am not sure of so many things. But I'm sure of one thing. I want to give it a try once again. Ngayong nalinawan na ako sa kung ano talaga ang nangyari years ago, siguro naman panahon na para palayain ko ang sarili ko mula sa galit. I've lived all these years believing he actually fooled me. Siguro naman panahon na rin para pagbigyan ko ang sarili at ang anak kong sumaya kasama si Santi."Yes, Manang." I smiled.I bit my lower lip to stop myself from smiling like an idiot. Ngunit mukhang hindi iyon nakaligtas sa paningin ni Manang."Mukhang nagkaa
Together"Punta ka sa bahay mamaya?"I looked up to see Xander's smiling face. It looks welcoming. Karamihan sa mga kaklase ko sa taong iyon ay kung hindi ako kinukutya ay walang may pakialam at nakikipagkaibigan. I don't mind either of those. I'm used to it. Kaya naman nakakapanibagong may lumalapit sa akin para makipagkaibigan."May mga gagawin pa ako sa farm," sambit ko habang inaayos ang mga gamit sa bag."Ipagpapaalam kita kay Lola Gracia. Nag-bake si mommy ng cookies para sa atin. Cianna's coming, too." Ngiti niya."Sino iyon?" Kunot-noo kong tanong. Wala naman kaming ka-schoolmate na ganoon ang pangalan."Family friend. Kalilipat lang nila rito."Wala na nga akong nagawa nang sumama siya sa bahay para ipagpaalam ako kay Lola. Mabilis din namang pumayag si Lola nang may galak. Kahit hindi ko sinasabi sa kanya, alam kong naririnig niya mula sa eskwelahan na kinukutya ako ng ibang bata. Kaya naman ganoon nalang ang saya niya noong unang beses na bumisita si Xander para makipaglaro.
PregnantLihim kong pinakiramdaman ang sarili habang tahimik na naghihintay sa visitors' area ng correctional. I don't know what have gotten into me for coming here. Hindi ko na pinagkaabalahang alamin pa ang pag-usad ng imbestigasyon ng mga pulis dahil ang mahalaga lang naman sa akin ay ligtas ang anak ko at maparusahan ang may gawa niyon. My son is too young to experience such things. At doble ang hirap at sakit na naramdaman ko bilang ina.It actually took me a ton of courage to come here and see Ivory. I don't know why I'm doing this but I felt like I have to do this in order to move on.Nag-angat ako ng tingin nang bumukas ang pinto at pumasok ang dalawang babaeng pulis hawak-hawak sa magkabilang braso ang nakaposas na si Ivory. She looked wasted. Wala sa focus ang nanlalalim na mga mata. Her pale lips rose for a sarcastic smirk when she saw me. Maya-maya pa ay bahagya siyang natawa."Who do I owe the honor of having you here?" She smirked.Ilang sandali akong natahimik habang pin
Wait"What the hell are you doing?"I went out of the car in the middle of the rain without second thoughts. Kahit ako ay hindi maintindihan ang sarili at padalos-dalos akong dumalo sa kanya. My heart skipped a beat when he turned to me in a grim expression. Basang-basa ang ulo niya pati ang mukha."You weren't inside," he murmured to himself.Sakto namang bumukas ang gate at lumabas ang ilan sa mga body guards na may dalang payong at tuwalya. I turned to Santi again and he still has the same expression. His jaw clenched and he looked away in anger."Let's go inside," I murmured after getting the towels from the body guards.Umihip ang malamig na hangin at bahagyang nanginig ang katawan ko. I jolted when I felt his arms wrapped around me as we walked to the mansion door.Nakaabang sa sala sina Mama at Papa pagpasok namin. Pareho silang gulat nang makita kaming basang-basa sa ulan. Then their gaze turned to Santi and they were taken aback."Oh my goodness, Cianna! Bakit naman kayo nagp
SoakedI have always wondered how all of it went wrong. We were happy. And I thought it was something that would last. Ni sa hinagap, hindi sumagi sa isip kong pwedeng mawala sa akin ang lahat sa isang iglap. My son is my everything. Kaya kong mawala ang ibang bagay bukod sa kanya.The sound of the gunshot still linger my ears until now. I heard commotions as I closed my eyes. Nang muli akong magmulat ng mga mata ay lalo lang akong nagimbal sa nakita. Hugging me and my son, and shielding us from the shot, was Lance.“L-Lance,” my voice tremble and my eyes heavy. Pilit kong iminulat ang mga mata para tingnan siya nang maayos.He just smiled lightly then coughed blood. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t open my mouth. Patuloy lang ang pag-agos ng luha ko na tila walang kapaguran. He fell on the ground then the commotion around became more evident. Huli kong nakita si Ivory na nakadapa sa lupa habang pinipigilan ng ilang nakaunipormeng lalaki.I shook my head to brush off the thoughts. Mar
GuiltIlang beses akong huminga nang malalim para kalmahin ang sarili. Kanina pa ako nanginginig habang hawak-hawak ang manibela. This isn't the time to panic, I scolded my mind. Mas importanteng makuha ko nang ligtas ang anak ko mula kay Ivory.Panay ang tanaw ko sa location na ibinigay ni Ivory hanggang sa makalabas ako ng syudad. Ilang oras ko pang binagtas ang makitid na daan na halos wala nang mga bahay sa paligid. Hapon na kaya unti-unti na ring kinakain ng dilim ang paligid.Few more minutes and I reached a dead end. Hindi magkakasya ang sasakyan ko kung pipilitin ko pang pumasok sa kagubatan. I dialled Ivory's number at sinagot niya naman iyon pagkatapos ng ilang ring."I'm at a dead end," agad kong sambit. I gritted my teeth as the seething anger enveloped me."May makitid na daan sa gilid ng kinaroroonan mo. Diyan ka dumaan. Sa dulo may makikita kang maliit na kubo."I roamed my eyes to look for the way she was talking about. Walang imik kong binagtas iyon hanggang sa tuluya
SaveHalos manginig ang buong katawan ko at hindi mawari kung saan maghahanap. Santi caught up to me and held my shoulders."What's happening?" Tanong niya, naroon ang pag-aalala sa boses. Ako naman hindi magkamayaw sa pagtingin kung saan-saan para hanapin ang anak ko."Si Callar... Ang sabi ng teacher dito naghihintay sa gate ang anak natin..."Abot-abot ang tahip ng dibdib ko at hinanap ang guard. Wala ito sa post at hindi rin mahagilap. Wala nang mga estudyante ang lumalabas mula sa loob at tahimik na rin ang paligid."Let's ask the teacher once again. Baka pinabalik nila dahil wala pa tayo," he said and pulled me inside.Naabutan namin ang teacher sa loob ng classroom na nag-aayos ng gamit. I roamed my eyes around but no one else was there. Lalo lang lumakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko. Wala pang limang minuto mula nang tumawag ang teacher para sabihing nasa labas ang anak ko. Paanong..."Miss Juarez, ano pong atin?" Unti-unting nalusaw ang ngiti niya nang mapansing hindi na ako mapaka
DreamI know we have to talk things out. And here I am being stubborn again because I'm clouded with so much doubts and insecurities. Siguro nga may plano naman siyang sabihin sa akin, naghahanap lang ng magandang tiyempo. Or he's hoping the issue would die down on its own so he doesn't really think he had to tell me anything about it.Well that frustrates me even more. Lalo pa't ako ang itinuturong dahilan ni Ivory kung bakit mas pinili ni Santi na huwag nang tumuloy sa project na iyon.And damn, I know he wanted it so bad. He worked so hard for it. I know, more than anyone, how hard it is to give up on the things I love because of other things as well. At kung ang bagay naman na pumipigil sa kanya ay kami, how did he expect me to react? Of course I'd be mad! As much as I want to keep him with us, I can't just do that. And what hurts even more is he doesn't even share with me his dreams, his goals, his plans. I know nothing at all.Akala ko ba magkasama naming haharapin ang lahat? Wh
Selfish“Leave him.”Kung hindi lang siya seryosong nakatitig sa akin habang sinasabi ang mga katagang iyon, iisipin kong nagbibiro lang siya. I wanted so bad to laugh at her right now. She looked helpless and a hopeless desperate bitch.“Stop spewing nonsense, Ivory.” Matigas kong sabi.“Do you think I am just fooling around, Cianna? Or I am just saying all of these things because of what I feel for Santi? You’re totally wrong. Can’t you see you’re pulling him down?”Naningkit ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. What the hell? Ano namang ginawa ko para hilahin pababa si Santi?“Pwede ba, Ivory? Kung wala ka rin lang namang matinong sasabihin, huwag mo nalang akong kausapin. You’re just wasting my time,” I said and turned my back on her.Just when I was about to take a step, she spoke again.“You really don’t know anything. O sadyang hindi ka naman ganoon ka importante kaya hindi niya magawang sabihin sa iyo lahat ng tungkol sa kanya?”Naikuyom ko ang mga palad sa sinabi niya. Now I am al
WantHindi ko alam kung ano'ng mararamdaman sa sinabi ni Jacob. My chest throbbed with the familiar pain."Baka tungkol sa trabaho ang pinag-uusapan nila?" I faked a smile. Pilit kong itinago ang panginginig ng boses.Right. I shouldn't drop into conclusions. Pero kahit gaano ko pigilan, hindi ko na mapirmi ang utak. Halos hindi ko na rin dinig ang malakas na tugtog ng musika."Maybe," kibit-balikat niya. "Anyway, let's just enjoy the night," ngisi niya at muli akong hinila nang marahan para makipagsayaw.Bago pa ako makapalag ay may mga kamay nang humawak sa braso ko mula sa likod. I felt Santi's familiar hold that I automatically turned to him. Madilim ang mga mata niyang nakatitig sa kamay ni Jacob na nakahawak pa rin sa akin."Santi," I called his name in protest.He turned to me, jaw clenched so hard."Sorry dude," Jacob apologized, raising both his hands.I was about to say something when I noticed someone chasing after Santi. Natigil ito sa paglalakad nang magtama ang mga mata