Patricia
I tossed and turned on the bed, covering my entire body with the sheets to shield my eyes from the hostile rays of sun that seeped through the windows. Even with the one-month leave I had taken from work, I was still stressed with the weight of my conscience. Realising there was no way I was going back to sleep, I threw the sheets back and sat against the headboard. Ethan was obviously gone, since there was no trace of him in the room, and it was well past eight o’clock. So, I was the only one at home. After taking my bath, I went down the kitchen to prepare some tea for my breakfast, as I wasn’t feeling for anything solid. With there being nothing else to do, I decided to do a thorough clean-up in the kitchen, not because it needed rearrangement, but because I wanted to keep my mind off certain thoughts. That worked for only a while, because once I was done and seated in the living room, my mind began its daily torture. The television was on but I couldn’t register anything on the screen. I was anxious. I knew the truth couldn’t be long hidden, and that was why I kept silent, on edge, preparing for the time where all would be found out and Ethan would ask for a divorce. I didn’t want a divorce, but I would have no choice if that was what he would want. I was in the wrong, so I had no right to make any decisions. It’s not that I didn’t care anymore, I still cared for him, and that was what made me more scared of how he’d react if he got to know the truth. I’d feel better if it turned out that he had fallen out of love for me. It would be way better if he didn’t get hurt, so he could easily move on away from me. He was a good person and I didn’t deserve him. He didn’t have to be stuck for life with someone like me. “Mommy!” I turned just in time to see Nelly drop her bag and jump into my arms. I smiled as I tightened my hold on her and ruffled her hair. “How’s my little princess doing?” I sang into her ears as I tickled her sides, earning beautiful sounds of laughter from her. “No!” she giggled and managed to wriggle away from my grasp. “School was fun today!” “Really?” I asked, standing up to take her bag. “Tell me all about it while I get you changed, okay?” “Yes, mommy,” she obliged and then took my hand as I led her upstairs to her room. “Daddy brought you home?” It was more of a statement than a question, because who else apart from Ethan would have brought her? “Yup,” she answered, fully concentrating on taking the stairs one by one. “Did he say to tell me anything?” I went on, hopefully. “Nope,” she replied. “My heart sank, but it was expected. I thought our only child could at least spark something between us, but of course, I was mistaken. Nellana, was our only daughter, five years old. I had her few months before Ethan and I got married. It hadn’t been in my plans to get pregnant before we married. We just got carried away along the line. One thing led to another and Nellana Price happened. Ethan had been so supportive. Back then it felt like I fell in love with him over and over again every single day. But here was the case where Ethan asked for a divorce. Yes, Nelly would have to stay with me, but then she would start to have preferences when it came to me and her father. We would fight for her attention, and that would only make our family more broken than it was already seeming to be. I pushed the door to her room open and we both entered. I lifted her unto the bed and began unbuttoning her uniform. “So, what happened at school today?” I asked, reminding her of her earlier exclamation. “A boy pushed me!” she said happily as if it was the most exciting experience ever. I didn’t see it that way. My heart rate increased with worry and my eyes immediately dropped to her knees. Sure enough, there were some scratches on it. It wasn’t too serious, but it must have hurt a lot. “Oh my goodness, this must hurt really bad. Did you cry?” I rambled. “I’m so sorry baby. Just wait here while I get the first aid kit.” “No! No painful stuff, mommy,” she declined, shaking her head vigorously. “It won’t be painful I promise,” I tried convincing her. It was a clear lie, but she didn’t have to know that. “Wait. I want to tell you what happened first.” I smiled at the cute pout she made with her mouth. “Okay, my dearest.” “So, I was going to the playground and that’s when the boy hit me and I fell because it hurt so, so bad. Then he started crying because he said he didn’t want me to cry…and then I started laughing because he was crying and then he also started laughing.” I chuckled at how breathless she was after her narration. “Then what happened again, sweetie?” “He apogised,” she added. “Say apologised, sweetie,” I corrected, playing with her hair. “Oh yes, apologised.” “And then…” I urged her to continue. “I forgave him, just like Jesus forgives us when we pray, like you told me.” She clapped her hands merrily. That single statement almost brought tears to my eyes. Without warning, I gathered her in my arms hugging her tightly, ignoring her confusion. “I’m so proud of you. You forgave him…you forgave him,” I repeated, as if in a trance, reflecting on my own life. Would Ethan forgive me? Could he? “Mom?” “Mhm?” I closed my eyes. “My knee is itchy.” “Oh right.” I immediately stood up, letting go of her. “Just stay here. I’ll be back soon.”I rushed to my room and entered the bathroom, rummaging through the drawers. Ethan was the last to use the kit and he was fond of not placing things back where he picked them from, one of the causes of our little petty arguments; arguments we couldn’t even have anymore. My eyes rested on the kit as my mind roamed down memory lane, tears lingering in my eyes.I had missed him so much. I don’t know how our marriage had turned so sour, but it had. We didn’t talk like we used to. We hardly smiled at each other, to talk of even going on dates. It felt like we weren’t even married, like we were some college roommates who secretly hated each other’s guts but minded our own businesses to avoid conversation, but I wouldn’t use that as an excuse for what I did. It wouldn’t even make me feel better.“Mom?”Nelly suddenly appeared out of nowhere.I looked away and wiped my face before turning back to her. My phone was in her hand and from the screen, there was an ongoing call.“Is it daddy?” I lo
PatriciaFlashback- *two weeks ago*My hair was in a mess, just like my papers were. I had to submit my analysis report by the end of the day, but I couldn’t seem to concentrate. My mind kept going back to what I had done during the weekend. I still didn’t know why and how I had let that happen, but now the damage was done and permanent; irreversible. I had slept with Bryce, a childhood friend who happened to also be a colleague at work. I had been avoiding him ever since I made that mistake, and I wasn’t planning on seeing him any time soon. My application for a leave of absence was being processed, and I would vanish from the office as soon as it was approved.I knew this wasn’t the way to solve the problem, but that was all I could think of. Was I going to tell Ethan? Could I even?I run my hands through hair again, pulling tightly on the roots. What would others say if they found out? My parents…God… I was so ashamed and sick of myself.If only I could turn back time. If only we d
PatriciaI rushed out of my office and ran down the hallway, ignoring the weird looks people shot in my direction.I found Jessica after some time at the normally isolated part of the office building, with her phone in her hand. I halted, frightened of what she was thinking of doing.“W-what are you doing, Jess?”She looked at me with a spiteful expression, one I never dreamed of getting from her. “What do you think? Telling your husband of course.”My eyes dipped in confusion, feeling betrayed. The words were stuck in my throat. “Jessica.”“I’m not going to support you in this, don’t be fooled. I’ll do the right thing, by letting Ethan know.”“Why…why are you being like this?”“Shouldn’t I be asking?”I shook my head, trying to put her strange behaviour past me and focus on what was important. I took a step towards her, begging. “Please. Just hold on. I know I made a mistake-”“A mistake?” she echoed. “You think this is just a mistake,” she chuckled dryly.“Jessica.”“Tell me. H
EthanTwo hours had already passed, but I was still sitting in the same place, in the driver’s seat of my car, not knowing what to feel. I was trying hard, really hard to convince myself that I could hold it all in, but I could only deceive myself for so long.Even though I said I wouldn’t, I was tempted to go find the scoundrel who called himself Bryce and unleash all my anger on him. But clearly, I was in no proper state of mind to face him. I could end up being called a murderer tomorrow.I slapped the wheel in frustration and cursed out loudly. That was when the tears came rushing down my face. My heart ached as I yelled out, pouring my emotions out all at once. I was angry and confused and most of all, I felt betrayed and lost.How had things come to this? Of all the problems I expected with our marriage, I didn’t think I’d be faced with one of this sort. I still couldn’t accept that she had cheated. She wasn’t the type. She just didn’t have it in her nature to do something like
EthanMy eyes grew alert immediately. His words hit me hard like a brick thrown to my forehead. It was painful and scary. This entire time, I had never thought of the event of a divorce. It hadn’t come to mind even once.A life without Patricia. A life where I could see Nelly only on certain days of the week. No, I couldn’t picture it. “A divorce?”Dad smiled weakly. “I can see you haven’t thought about it.”He stretched his arms over the counter and placed his hands over mine. I bowed my head, trying to hide the other round of tears that threatened to fall.“I can’t give you any sweet words, son,” he said. “It has always been one of my fervent prayers that you never experience what I did with your mother. A divorce might seem like the most reasonable solution, but it’s all up to you. If you can find a way around this…excellent, but if not, do what you must. In everything, just think about Nellana. That’s a sure way to know what’s best.”I drew my hands back and cleaned my face.Nelly
PatriciaI woke up the same time my six o’clock alarm sounded. I yawned as I moved my hand around the bed searching for it to turn it off. I opened my eyes after seconds of vain searching and found it on my nightstand.I pulled myself up into a sitting position, took my phone and turned off the alarm. I pushed my hair back and then turned to Ethan’s side. It looked untouched. I instantly checked the messages I sent him yesterday. He hadn’t seen them. Did he come home at all?The moment I slid out of bed, the bathroom door opened. I turned my head and instantly locked eyes with Ethan, who had just a towel wrapped his waist.For a moment, my words were stuck in my throat as I looked at him. What was I even going to say? Hey there? Good morning? How was your night?Ethan just looked away and headed for his closet.“Wait,” I shot up from the bed, finally finding my voice.He stopped but didn’t turn. “What?”“Did you
PatriciaI slept for a good six hours since I didn’t have much sleep the previous night. I reluctantly pulled myself out of the bed and waltzed straight to the bathroom. I needed to get myself cleaned up. Nelly would be coming back home soon.I went to the kitchen some minutes later to make myself something to eat. I was reminded of my last attempt at talking to Ethan. The sandwiches I made for him were still in the fridge. Was he going to skip dinner too? Or he’d get takeout just as he did with lunch? Was he never going to eat from home anymore?I found myself scrolling through the messages on the office group chat sometime after I was done eating. My own guilty conscience had made it a habit. I was afraid news about my ‘affair’ with Bryce would have started spreading, but there was nothing like that on the platform.How did Ethan find out then? Did Jessica do this? I couldn’t picture her as that kind of person. Besides she promised to let me ha
Ethan“We should do this again, don’t you agree?”I managed a smile as I rose from my seat opposite Valeria and then looked at Daniel briefly before giving her an answer. “If my schedule permits it, why not?”She grinned heartily and then stood up, gushing out a ‘see you later’ before hurrying out of the restaurant.I finally dropped the smile and turned back to Daniel. He didn’t look too happy.“What?” I rolled my eyes at him, taking the lead to leave the building.“You know I don’t like this one bit.” He followed me.I stopped and then turned around. “So what? You want me to stop helping the intern, because of some petty rumours you’ve heard in the office?”Daniel groaned. “I know that girl, damnit. And I know she’s up to no good. You know something? The more you behave this way, the less I can blame Patricia.”I scoffed, shaking my head. “Sometimes I wonder why I call you my best friend.”With th
EthanMy scalp was hurting from my incessant hair pulling. I couldn’t tell what I was feeling, and trying to forget everything by drowning myself in work only worsened my devastated estate.I shut my laptop and turned to the framed wedding photo at the corner of my desk. I picked it up, tracing my fingers along the smooth glass, looking particularly at Patricia. She wasn’t looking into the camera. She was looking at me, with the biggest smile, and eyes filled with adoration. When was the last time she looked at me like that?I turned the photo down on its face and pushed my seat back as I stood up and exited the study.I entered the living room expecting to see her still seated in the sofa, but the place was empty. Somehow, I was relieved. I had a little more time to think before making a decision.A part of me wanted all this tension to end by just going ahead with a separation. Although it would strain my relationship with my
THIRD PERSONJessica leaned back on the door once she had shut it and heaved out a deep sigh. She chewed on her bottom lip, worried as she pondered over Patricia’s words. She shook her head, convincing herself.“She brought this on herself,” she muttered. “I only did the right thing.”“I’m guessing this is about Patricia.”She straightened up, startled by Charles’ voice.“Why are you so tensed up?” he asked as he wiped his hand with a napkin. He had just finished setting up the table for dinner.“It’s nothing.” She bypassed him and went to the dining table, resting her hands on the chair.“Patricia was here, wasn’t she?” he continued with the questions.Jessica closed her eyes, feeling absolutely confused and stressed.“I heard her voice so you can’t tell me otherwise.”“Let’
PatriciaHer eyes displayed surprise when she opened the door of her apartment. I kept my facial expression hard, eyes narrowed as I willed her to speak first. She gradually grew annoyed and glanced back into her house before looking back at me.“If you're here to create a scene, now’s not the time or place.” She folded her arms, as if to make her feel superior. “My husband’s at home.”“Create a scene?” I asked, cocking my head to the side. “What would make you think that, if you feel you haven’t done anything wrong, Jessica?”Aggravated that she couldn’t give back a cheeky reply, she dropped her arms and asked, “What do you want?”“I should be asking you that. What do you want from me? I get that I hurt my husband, and somehow betrayed your trust, but we’re supposed to be best friends. Why would you do all this?”Her gaze shifted.
Patricia“What?” I stared at my mother in disbelief. I was pleased she wasn’t interfering much, but this…? “Mom you can’t-”“You said you were ready to face the consequences, Pat,” dad reminded me. My heart sank. “This isn’t a punishment at all. It’s only what’s best for the child.”I shook my head. I wasn’t having it. “Ethan?”He didn’t look at me, but he was clearly pissed.I knew if they took Nelly, it was only going to be for a while, but at the moment, it felt like they were taking her away from me forever. My daughter was the only hope I had right now, the only person keeping me sane in this house. Being with her took my mind off all the issues. Being with her gave me a purpose. How was I going to live with this with her gone?“Look at it this way, my dear,” mom continued. “You already have knowledge of how smart she is. She’s already picking up the potholes in your relationship. Do you want her getting more depressed as she s
PatriciaWe entered the house and my mother suddenly brought out a collection of books from a bag she was holding and handed them over to Nelly.“All these are for me?” she looked at them, wide-eyed.Mom smiled down at her. “Yes Lana.”Nelly frowned. “But what’s the occasion? My birthday has passed.”Mom chuckled. “There shouldn’t be a specific occasion for gifts.”“Thank you so much grandma and grandpa. You're the best!” she exclaimed. “Can I go to my room and read them right now?”“Sure thing.”Nelly turned to me with a big smile and then hurried away. My mother hadn’t given her the books for the fun of it. She was using it as a way to keep her busy, so she could have me all to herself, for a reason I wasn’t too sure about.“You’ve been avoiding our calls,” mom went straight to the point.I pushed my hair back and sighed, sitting down opposite them. “Please sit down.”I couldn’t even look a
PatriciaNelly and I were lying on my bed, completely covered by the sheets, as we watched a children’s movie on my laptop. She was fully engrossed in the cartoon, while my mind was playing elsewhere.I had still not called my mother and she had been calling a lot. I knew I’d have to talk to her soon, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t think I’d be able to stand it if she found out my infidelity and became disappointed in me. The door suddenly opened and we turned our attention to Ethan, who had obviously just returned from work.“Daddy!” Nelly sang as she jumped of her bed and jumped into his embrace.“How’s my cupcake doing?” He smiled as he poked her nose ruffled her hair.“Great,” she giggled. “Mom and I are watching a movie. Do you want to join?”Ethan looked at me as his smile faded. I simply stared at him, not expecting anything. He glan
PatriciaNelly and I were lying on my bed, completely covered by the sheets, as we watched a children’s movie on my laptop. She was fully engrossed in the cartoon, while my mind was playing elsewhere.I had still not called my mother and she had been calling a lot. I knew I’d have to talk to her soon, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t think I’d be able to stand it if she found out my infidelity and became disappointed in me. The door suddenly opened and we turned our attention to Ethan, who had obviously just returned from work.“Daddy!” Nelly sang as she jumped of her bed and jumped into his embrace.“How’s my cupcake doing?” He smiled as he poked her nose ruffled her hair.“Great,” she giggled. “Mom and I are watching a movie. Do you want to join?”Ethan looked at me as his smile faded. I simply stared at him, not expecting anything. He glan
PatriciaMy bottom lip quivered. “Must you put it that way?” I whispered. “Is all this necessary?!”“Are you seriously asking me this Patricia? You're not a child, so you should know after what you’ve done, anything could happen…and I need answers.”“And you couldn’t just ask me?” I sobbed.He sighed and looked away for a second. When he looked back at me, there were hints of tears in his eyes. Angry tears. “How do you expect me to believe anything you say at this point? I need to get expert evidence. I need to be sure that Nelly doesn’t suffer any more than she is now-”“I'm on my period!” I confessed, breathing heavily. “Right now. It means no baby. I'm not pregnant!”He froze and a wave of embarrassment washed over his face, but it transformed into relief so quickly that I couldn’t be sure if it was there in the firs
Patricia“Mommy?”“Yes sweetie,” I answered, though my focus was elsewhere as I pulled her hand through the sleeve of her shirt.“Is everything alright?” Her voice was shaky and anxious, something that wasn’t like her at all. This was the second time she was asking. I was going to have to lie again.My eyes found her worried ones. “Everything is perfect, darling.”“Then why are you so quiet? You haven’t even asked me about school or the exam. You haven’t smiled at all today. Not at me, not at dad. Why?”I sighed. This girl was too smart for her own good. Maybe I shouldn’t have taught her to read at such an early age. I cupped her face in my hands and then brushed her hair back, smiling the best I could. “You trust mommy, don’t you?”She nodded slowly.Then believe me when I say it’s alright, okay?”H