B lair was awakened the next morning by the clink of crockery on a tray. “Buon giorno, Ms. Carson. I trust you rested well.” A uniformed maid bustled
into the room and placed a tray on a nearby table. “I have brought you breakfast and a request from the Signore to be ready in an hour for a tour of the property. And Ms. Carson, the coffee is decaffeinated as per your doctor’s instructions.”“Thank you,” Blair shoved herself upright in the bed and sniffed the air as the aroma of freshly brewed coffee tantalized her nostrils. Her eyes spied pastries in a small basket on the tray. “Are those cornetti?”“Yes, raspberry. Your favorite, si? Cristiano, our cook, he remembered, and Ms. Carson? There is a small gift here for you also. A welcome to the palazzo from the Signore.”Both curious and ravenous, Blair pushed the bedcovers from her legs and rose from the bed. With a cheerful smile, the maid left the room. <“I thought I’d take you to the furthest point of our land and then work our way back. Would you prefer we stay closer to home?” Home. His home perhaps, Blair thought, looking back at the size of the palazzo as he helped her into the car. “No, that’s fine. It’ll be lovely, I’m sure.” Draco slid into the driver’s seat, his strong, capable hands settling on the steering wheel. It occurred to Blair that this was the first time she’d seen him drive.“You don’t drive when you’re in New Zealand. Why is that?” “Parking in and around the city is at such a premium, I prefer not to bebothered with such things when I’m there on business. Generally, I keep a carthere for my own use, but for pleasure, I prefer to use my motorbike when I’m in Auckland.” “You ride a bike?” Blair was surprised. Draco had always struck her as so smooth and urbane. Imagining him in black lea
As her eyes opened and she became aware of their surroundings, he leaned over and slanted his mouth across her. A teasing touch, but one that had the power to immediately wring a tiny moan of want from her. Her eyes darkened even more, until her pupils almost consumed the rich chocolate of her irises. A sigh drew past her lips and he breathed it in.He bent his head to her again, this time taking his time to make love to her lips with his own, drawing her lower lip between his, sucking gently on the tender skin, stroking along its fullness with his tongue.A shudder ran through him as Blair traced her tongue against his upper lip, in a mirror of what he was doing to her. He let go of her lip and deepened their kiss, hungry for more of her. He positioned himself over her body, holding himself up and away, but feeling her heat imprint through the layer of his clothing and against his skin. Blair ran her hands up the cords of his arms and he revele
“Si?” “Is something wrong?” “Nothing is wrong. I will see you at dinner at eight. If you need me for anything before then, you’ll find my office extension on the list next to the phone in your room.” Blair nodded, but her mind latched on to his expectation that she’d spend the rest of her time in her room. Banished perhaps? She certainly needed to shower and freshen up, but she’d be darned if she was going to spend the next few hours hemmed up in her room, no matter how beautiful it was. There was plenty she could explore before meeting Draco for dinner. After Blair had showered and changed, she went back to the ground-floor level of the palazzo and headed in what she hoped would be the direction to the kitchen. If Cristiano was there preparing for their evening meal, she wanted to see if she could lend a hand. And if she couldn’t help, maybe she could learn something that she could t
H er emotions played across her face—irritation followed by surprise, then something else. He didn’t have to wait long to discover what that something else was.“Fine. I’ll agree to see your specialist, if, and only if, you agree to let me take lessons from Cristiano while I’m here. I won’t get in his way or impede his work, but I need to keep fresh and learning new dishes to take back to Carson’s when I leave.” He forced himself to stifle the surge of anger that rose as she talked about when she would leave. She’d been here just over a day, and it was as if she had begun the count down to her return to New Zealand. Still, what would it cost him to let her dabble in the kitchen? It would keep her exactly where he wanted her, and once her pregnancy was common knowledge among all the staff, not just the maid he’d assigned to her, she would be cosseted and prevented from overdoing things. Draco found himself nodding in acquiescence.
A knock at the door dragged her from the mirror where she’d been standing, admiring the fall of the gown. “Ah, it looks even better on you than on the model,” Draco said, coming into her room and closing the door. Her eyes feasted on him. Dressed in a tailored, charcoal-gray suit, he was both formidable and undeniably sexy. Suddenly Blair felt self-conscious. She plucked at the fabric of dress. “Thank you, it’s beautiful,” she said softly. “It’s all lovely.” “I’m glad. I notice you haven’t worn earrings since you’ve been here, yet your ears are pierced. I hope you don’t mind, but I bought you these.” Draco withdrew a small jeweler’s box from his jacket pocket and opened it.All the breath in Blair’s lungs froze when she saw the platinum-set diamond ear studs there. “May I?” Draco asked. He put the box down on the table next to him, then
“Is there something wrong?”Draco turned from the desk where he’d been standing, reading a sheet of paper. He placed the paper and the cut crystal tumbler he’d held in his hand on the glossy wooden surface of the desk and crossed the distance between them, concern pulling his eyebrows into a frown. “No, I’m fine, I just wanted to talk to you a while. That’s all.” Now that she was here, she suddenly felt nervous. She shouldn’t have changed into the nightgown that was for sure. While it had seemed a good idea at the time, right now she felt as if she’d put herself on display, when what she wanted was Draco’s total attention—and not in that way. “The night wear looks lovely on you.” Appreciation gleamed in Draco’s eyes, and Blair felt her body warm and stir under his gaze. “Thank you,” she said, her words a little breathless. She averted her eyes and sat down
She blinked back the tears that burned like embers against the back of her eyes. She’d been a fool to think she could come here and talk to Draco about a future together. It would never have worked anyway. She was probably just mushy-brained because of this pregnancy—wooed into the lifestyle andsurroundings and dreams of what she could never have or be. Summoning all the dignity she could muster, Blair rose from her seat. The soft folds of fabric of her nightgown and peignoir settled around her body like a lover’s caress, and she shuddered to think that, if things could have been different between herself and Draco, he would no doubt have been removing the garments by now. But instead of making plans for a new future she clung to every last shred of what she had left. She lifted her chin and met Draco’s glittering gaze head on. “Thank you for the reminder. You’re right. Of course. To be honest, I c
B y the time Blair staggered up the stairs to the flat above the restaurant she was shattered. The irony of flying from Rome to London and then making a connecting flight via Hong Kong to Auckland wasn’t lost on her. Briefly, she’d been in the same city as Draco and he hadn’t even known it. With the number of time zones she’d been through, she felt as if she’d been traveling for days, even if it had only been something over thirty hours. But she was here. Home. Where she was needed and wanted.It was nearing lunchtime, but all she wanted was to fall into bed and sleep. She made a quick call to the hospital and asked to be put through to her dad, but her call was intercepted by a nurse who told her he was resting comfortably. Blair left a brief message with the nurse for her father, disappointed she couldn’t speak to him. She’d only be able to manage a few hours’ sleep before she’d need to be on deck downstairs. Calling him again would have to wait until morning.Bu
EPILOGUE Deacon Getting Carys to fully believe in me didn’t happen as quickly as I’d hoped. And there was no formal discussion or announcement when things had finally crossed the barrier of trust. Our being back together happened slowly and organically. I spent every day for months showing her I wasn’t going anywhere, and taking the time to learn how to be a good partner to her and a father to Sunny. Because I’d put in the work, I finally reaped the rewards.In the five years since Carys entered my life, I’d learned many things, including the following, in no particular order.One: You can’t prove yourself with words, only actions.Two: You can’t choose who you love. It never mattered what I told myself about not getting into a relationship with Carys. From the moment we connected, I was destined to lose the battle with my brain.Three: Full freedom can’t be achieved until you forgive yourself. I finally so
CarysNAUGHTY GIRL The months since Deacon’s return had reminded me a lot of the early days of our relationship. He was there when I needed him but didn’t cross any boundaries. I knew he was being careful not to make assumptions about my readiness to let him back into my life.It all felt a little like déjà vu because Deacon had reverted back to being a good friend I desperately wanted to have sex with. But I hadn’t let myself go there yet. I kept waiting to feel a hundred-percent sure he would never hurt me again. But is it ever possible to be absolutely certain?One Saturday afternoon, Sharon called to tell me she had the day free if I wanted her to come spend a few hours with Sunny. She said she figured I might appreciate some time to myself. Never one to refuse unexpected help, I thanked her and said I would love to take her up on that.She arrived about an hour later. As I kissed Sunny goodbye and headed out the door, I re
DeaconHOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE? You’ve heard the saying that life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon? Well, earning Carys’s trust back was more like a slow wade through an ocean. But it was worth it, even if not getting to reach out and touch her was downright painful. A month-and-a-half after I returned to New York, my relationship with Carys was slowly improving.One afternoon, as we sat in her living room drinking the coffees I’d brought over, I presented her with something I’d made back in Minnesota.I took it out of the small bag. “I forgot to give this to you. It’s for Sunny. I made it while I was home.”Carys smiled as she examined the pink hat. “You crocheted this?”“Yup. My grandmother was trying to get me out of her house, where I stayed half the time. She wanted to invite dirty old men over without my being there, but that’s a story for another day.” I laughed. “Anyway, she commissioned me to help her make hats
CarysJUST COFFEE Despite saying he’d give me time to ready myself, Deacon texted me a few days later to ask if I would be willing to meet him during my lunch break on one of the days I worked in the office. I said yes. We needed to have the conversation away from Sunny.I chose Friday, but instead of a lunch meet-up, I opted to have the sitter stay late so I could meet Deacon after work. I didn’t know how I’d feel after our talk, or how long the meeting would last, so I didn’t want to have to go back to the office.Deacon was waiting in a corner seat at Starbucks when I arrived. It was my first time in here since before he’d left for Minnesota. He looked painfully handsome, dressed in all black. He fidgeted with his hands as his eyes wandered the room. His mouth curved into a hesitant smile when he spotted me. He stood.When I approached, I could tell he wasn’t sure what to do, whether to hug me or not. He leaned in and gave m
CarysTHE TEXT This was a huge day. It would be the first time I let Charles see Sunny without me being there, too. The plan seemed innocent enough. He’d brought his kids to my apartment, and they would be hanging out for a couple of hours.Talia and Xavier had recently met Sunny for the first time. Today was their third visit. The kids had really taken to her, and Sunny liked them. Allowing them to meet seemed to be one of the rare good decisions I’d made this past year.So with Sunny occupied by Charles and his kids, I was off to run a couple of errands and take a breather. I had mixed feelings about leaving her alone with them, but Charles had earned back a bit of my trust in the past few months. While I wouldn’t trust him with my heart again, I knew he was a responsible father to his two other kids. I had no reason to fear for Sunny’s safety while in his care.And also? Mama needed a breather. I mainly had a babysitter for
DeaconHINDSIGHT IS TWENTY-TWENTY Since arriving in Minnesota, I’d avoided being alone with my father. I’d gone over to my parents’ for dinner but left before Dad had a chance to corner me. He hadn’t said anything hurtful yet, but I dreaded encountering the version of him I remembered—the one who did nothing but criticize me. I didn’t need him making me feel inadequate when I already felt pretty damn shitty since leaving Carys the way I did.It appeared I could only hide for so long, though. I was shoveling snow outside my grandmother’s house one day when I looked up to see my Dad’s red truck.Sticking the shovel into the snow, I leaned on it as I watched him approach. He reached over to brush some snow off my coat, and I felt my eyes widen. It was rare my father touched me. Aside from the brief hug I’d given him when I first arrived here, there had been no other contact—no handshakes or pats on the back.I stepped back. “What’
DeaconCOCKBLOCKER “What are you looking at?” she asked.Shit. How long had I been staring at her? I hadn’t meant to make her uncomfortable. It was just… I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I’d done a pretty decent job of keeping Carys out of my mind this week. Then I got to the checkout line at the supermarket where I’d been picking up groceries for my grandmother. The cashier looked like an older version of Sunny. Did she think I was staring at her because she had Down syndrome? Shit. That wasn’t it at all.“I’m sorry. I know I was staring at you. It’s because you remind me of someone who’s special to me, someone I don’t get to see anymore. I didn’t mean to be rude.”She rolled her eyes, and it made me chuckle, because I could see Sunny growing up to be as feisty as this girl. My chest tightened at the thought that I might never see Carys or Sunny again.It had been three months since I’d left New York, and my life ther
CarysNICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN Over the next six weeks or so, Charles proved he hadn’t been kidding when he’d vowed to earn my trust back. I appreciated that he was letting me call the shots on his reentrance into my life, though.In addition to abiding by a visitation schedule, he’d also begun depositing money more regularly in my bank account. I’d never refused his occasional offerings, but now that he wasn’t doing everything behind Violet’s back, he’d set up a direct deposit each month. I wasn’t going to complain. Sunny deserved his support.We’d agreed on a twice-a-month visitation schedule for starters. I gave him a few hours on Saturdays. We’d take Sunny out, and she was slowly taking to him, offering occasional smiles and responses to his endless efforts to make her laugh. It was noticeably different than her immediate attachment to Deacon had been, though.Charles hadn’t insisted on using the term dad around her, and I was
DeaconLAST WORDS I’d rented a car for the ninety-minute drive north to Poughkeepsie, and it had been a smooth ride with no traffic. This had definitely been a good idea. I now held Sunny up as she sat atop one of the ponies at Archwood Farms. She was always a happy child, but the ponies brought out a level of excitement I’d never witnessed before.After the pony ride, I went to fetch Carys and me a couple of coffees from the small concession building, while she took Sunny to a grassy area with a bunch of pumpkins laid out. Sunny was now walking independently. While a little wobbly, she was fully mobile.After I ordered our drinks, the woman I knew to be one of the owners of the farm smiled at me. “Your daughter looked like she was having so much fun out there. I’m so glad you guys could come up north today.”We’d spoken to her briefly when we first arrived, but I didn’t realize she’d assumed I was Sunny’s father. I opened my m