AS LONG AS I'M BREATHING

Simone's POV

Rocks and thorns pierce through the soles of my feet as we run through the dark town. 

The bottom of my feet are torn to ribbons and every step is sheer agony. I want to stop, but Mommy keeps going, and no matter how much I beg and plead with her, she won’t turn back around and go home.

Mommy isn’t thinking right. We should have left at daybreak when the vampires run into their hidey-holes, but she said we couldn’t because the werewolves were out, patrolling Baron’s grounds.

I told her, but she wouldn’t listen to me.

I hadn’t seen Mommy in days and days, and this morning she came to me and told me we were running away. “Right now, Mommy?” I asked.

I was tired. The sun had just come up and Darma, my nanny, came to pull my curtains so the sunlight wouldn’t bother us.

“No not now,” Mommy said. “Later.”

“But we have to go now. While the vampires sleep.”

“Later, Simone,” Mommy said. “After sundown.”

I told her it wouldn’t work. I told her, but she thinks I’m just a silly little girl who doesn’t know anything, and now it’s dark and the vampires are out. They are just going to take us back and Baron will punish us for running away.

“Hurry up,” Mommy says and grabs me by the hand, dragging me through the broken-up streets and empty buildings.

“Mommy,” I gasp. “Please, wait…my feet.”

She clucks her tongue and pulls me into the dark maw of a crumbling building. Maybe it used to be a shop or something once upon a time. In the dim glow coming in from outside, I can see toppled shelves and something that looks like a big doll, but now it’s just dirty and empty.

She yanks me down and pushes me flat on the ground before she rolls on top of me and forces me facedown into the dust and broken pieces of glass.

I don’t know what’s worse. The dust and bits of cement filling my mouth and lungs, or the shards of glass piercing through my skin. “Mommy, no, ow, it hurts,” I cough out the words. “Let me go, please. I’ll be quiet. I’ll be good.”

“Hush, you stupid little girl,” she snaps. “Do you want them to hear us?”

Whom does Mommy think she’s fooling? The vampires overhead can hear us and smell us from miles away. They probably saw us come in here. The only reason they haven’t taken us yet is that Mommy belongs to Baron and she’s off-limits to other vampires. But soon, he’ll notice we’re missing, and he’ll tell them to take us.

Humans don’t live in the daylight. I heard stories that back in the day, we were out with the sun, but ever since the vampires took over, we live our lives in the dark with the undead.

Werewolves patrol the streets and camps during the day, and at night, the world comes alive. But not tonight. It is the full moon and all the humans are in their homes. “Lady Imogen!” someone calls from right outside.

I can feel Mommy stiffen on top of me. “What?” she asks back.

“What are you doing?”

“Playing with my daughter. It’s a human thing, you won’t understand.”

Outside, the vampires whisper to each other, but I can’t hear what they’re saying. “What kind of game are you playing?”

“Just a game. We’re going to the beach.”

Again the whispers. “Does Lord Baron know?”

“Of course he knows!”

In the distance, a pack of wolves howl at the full moon. “Watch out for the wolves,” the vampire says.

They won’t hang around unless Baron tells them to. Not tonight. Too many other things need their attention. Like the wolves.

We lie on the floor for a while, waiting for only Mommy knows what. It feels like hours and hours. I can barely breathe, my lungs ache, my stomach cramps up from the hunger and my throat burns with thirst.

Everything hurts. My feet. My face. My hands. I’m bleeding from everywhere. Finally, Mommy gets up. “Quiet now, Sim,” she says.

“The vampires left.”

“Yes, but the wolves haven’t, and any moment now, Baron will know that we’re gone.”

He will know by now. He knows everything. “Let’s just go back. Maybe he won’t punish us if we go back before he…”

“Don’t be so stupid, Simone!” Mommy snaps. “We’re not going back.”

We sneak through the cloying darkness to the back of the shop. Mommy eases a door open and the cool, fresh sea breeze hits me right away. In the distance, I can hear the waves breaking on the beach. The tide is coming in.

I inhale deeply, sticking my fist in my mouth as the clean air fills my lungs and tries to force the stale dust out. Mommy leans over and puts her lips next to my ears. “Very quiet now, Sim. We are going to run.”

I wish Mommy at least told me to put on some shoes before we left. The broken-up cobbled paths are overgrown with thorny plants and my feet are already so sore. “Mommy,” I gasp and stop. “Please I can’t.”

“We’re almost there,” Mommy grabs me by the wrist and drags me after her. “Keep running.”

Crying and gasping for air, I try to keep up with Mommy, but I can’t. She doesn’t care. She drags me along, not even worrying that she’s scraping me up.

I want to go back. Living with Baron isn’t that bad. He takes good care of us. He makes sure I get lessons, unlike the humans in the camps. He always makes sure we have enough human food to eat and drink, and he keeps the other vampires away from us. I don’t understand why Mommy wants to leave when the alternative is so much worse.

The camps. The thought alone fills me with terror. I’d rather die than go back there.

The roar of the ocean fills my head, and finally we run out onto the sand dunes of the cotton candy beach. The full moon rising over the ocean cast a wide, white beam on the black water. Tonight, it’s so big that I feel like I can reach out and touch it.

Oh, this is bad. This is very bad. There’s no one here. We’re all alone. What if the wolves come for us? It’s the one night that they’re allowed to hunt freely as long as they stay away from the camps and the vampires’ special humans. I’m not special or protected in any way. “Mommy!” I call out. “Please. The wolves.”

“They won’t be a problem,” she says.

I thought the soft sand would be easier to walk on, but I was wrong. I feel like I’m walking on a cheese grater.

I want to go home. I don’t like it here. It feels wrong. Everything’s wrong.

I start to pull back against Mommy as we make our way down the dune to the ocean. What is her plan? Is someone waiting for us? The human resistance? Are they going to take us away? I heard that they sometimes rescue refugees and take them to a safe place.

But there’s no one. The ocean is empty. I see no boats or other humans on the beach. Even the vampires know better than to roam around on the full moon. “Mommy! Where are we going?” I ask and dig my heels into the sand.

Mommy jerks me forward, yanking me off my feet. I face plant in the sand and start to roll down the dune at a terrifying speed. A big rock catches me, knocking the wind clean out of me. Something sharp pokes into my side and warm liquid starts to squirt from the hold.

Gasping and crying, I wipe blood and snot from my face.

I try to inhale and can’t. My left arm hurts and I can’t move it.

“Simone!” Mommy scolds and hauls me to my feet. “Now look what you’ve gone and done. Get up. We’re almost there.”

I can’t take one more step. I’m too tired and too hurt. “Mommy. Call for Baron. I think I’m dying.”

From the corner of my eyes, behind Mommy, I see a small pack of wolves running along the edge of the water. They know Mommy. They know Baron claimed her and they won’t do anything to her, but I belong to no one. I am free game.

The Alpha stops and sniffs the air. He can smell my blood. Darma once, told me that wolves like to eat children because our flesh is sweet. I don’t know if that’s true, but I’d rather be sucked dry by a vampire than be torn apart by a pack of wolves.

“Mommy!” I cry and collapse on top of the rock that almost killed me. “Please. The wolves will eat me. Please call for Baron.”

Mommy lets me go and looks over her shoulder at the wolves. With an ugly grin, she pulls back her arm and swings it around, slapping me hard in the face. Blood explodes from my nose and stars dance in my head. Everything goes black and I topple backwards off the rock. “You will behave, Simone!” Mommy says from somewhere far away. “Now come with me.”

I try to sit up, but my head is spinning, there’s blood in my mouth, my arm won’t work and my legs won’t move. The holy in my side gushes bubbly blood and I can’t breathe.

I’m going to die here tonight. On this beach that I love so much.

Maybe that’s not so bad.

I turn my head to look at the wolves. I used to think that they were so pretty – like big dogs. That was before I knew that they were just like the vampires, perhaps even worse. The wolves’ amber eyes glow in the dark, but they do not come closer.

That’s strange.

“Simone!” Mommy snaps and tries to pick me up, but she can’t lift me up.

It hurts too much. I’m too tired to fight her. I just want to lie here and die already. Hopefully, before the wolves can get to me.

“You will come with me, is that clear? It ends tonight. All of it ends tonight.”

‘Bad,’ a voice says in my head. ‘Mommy is going to do something bad. Don’t go with her.’

The voice is right. She’s different. Acting crazy. She’s nothing like my mommy at all.

Not that any of it matters. I can’t go with her even if I wanted to, and I’m too big for Mommy to carry now. “I…can’t,” I finally manage a few words. “I hurt. Mommy…please.”

I keep my eyes on the wolves. I don’t want to look at Mommy anymore.

The Alpha growls menacingly, giving us one last warning. When we don’t move, he does. With his eyes on me, he starts to lope towards us. I’m too tired and hurt to even be scared.

Mommy slips her arms around me and tries to pull me up, but all she manages is to get me off my back and onto my butt. Breathing heavily, she looks from me to the pack. “Fine,” she concedes. “Stay here then. I hope that wolf eats you. That will teach you.”

Why is she doing this? Why is Mommy being so mean? She has never done anything like this. She’s never hurt me. She had said some nasty words in the past, but she never said anything that ugly.

I want to ask her, but there’s no time. She just leaves me there and runs down the dune. Her feet get all tangled up and she stumbles. Falls. Rolls down the dune in a blur of sand and arms and legs. When she reaches the bottom she jumps up and sprints towards the ocean without looking back.

Is she going for a swim?

I watch as she runs out into the open sea, diving under the waves when she’s deep enough and bopping back up, her blonde hair glowing by the light of the moon. Three, four times she dives, but the fifth time she doesn’t come back up.

No. No. No. No. What did she do? Where is? “Mommy!” I call out as loudly as I can, but it comes out as a breathy murmur.

I try to stand up, but when I do, my ankle cracks and gives way. I fall right back down and land on my injured shoulder.

Ow. “Mommy,” I whisper-cry. “Please come back. Someone. Anyone. Please.”

I listen to the panting wolves coming up the dune and hold my breath, waiting for that first bite to tear into me, but before they can do anything a dark figure lands next to me. He hisses loudly at the wolves, then kneels by my side. “It’s okay, baby girl,” he soothes. “I’m here. I’ll take care of you now. No one will ever hurt you again.”