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Only Regrets
Only Regrets
Author: Misskkholic

Chapter 1

Author: Misskkholic
last update Last Updated: 2024-05-08 15:52:59

Everywhere I go, people can't help but notice me. I catch people staring at me, and I know what they are thinking. How can she be so perfect?

I’m staring at my reflection in the mirror, standing in my undergarments; I can't do anything but think about the models. How do they pose in a bikini?

Since childhood, I have been wanting to become a model, because I think I'm very pretty. I love myself way too much. I'm kind of obsessed with myself. Many of my classmates talk behind my back, and say I'm a fossil. Am I? I don't know. I'm not a native American, maybe that's why they think that. Or maybe they are jealous of me. I have a skinny hourglass body, dark brown almond shaped eyes, full lips, slim face, dark brunette long wavy hair that reaches my hips, an average 5 '6 height, and rosy complexion. Everything about my body and my looks makes me fall in love with myself. I am a slight narcissistic, I guess.

In Corsica, a couple lost their two baby boys, and then a girl took birth at their home. They did every possible thing they could do to keep her alive; they gave her name 'Belle' because she was beautiful—so much beautiful for them.

And yeah, that would obviously be me. I'm Belle Dubois. Just like my name; I am very beautiful. Well, I'm not trying to brag about myself, but people say that. People in my hometown, my family, and guys who have proposed to me till date—always admired my beauty. Rich, handsome, athletes—almost every kind of guy has fallen for me, even when I didn't want them to fall. Every single person complimented me by saying beautiful and sexy that it doesn't seem anything new to me when a person compliments me now.

I am seventeen-years-old, from Corsica, and now my family lives in Bulgaria. My father is a millionaire. I have been a topper since childhood, and ranked first in all my classes, because apart from being pretty, I'm a perfectionist also. When I got a scholarship for my high school studies, I came to New York City for my studies. I am in my senior year of high school now.

Even when I'm pretty, I never had any boyfriends. Never ever in my life have I let any boy touch me. Not because I don't think about marrying, having a boyfriend, or boys don't propose to me, or show interest in me. It's because I have loved a boy since my childhood. His name—I didn't know. His face—I didn't know. His location—I didn't know. Overall, I didn't know anything about him. I didn't know if he still remembered me or not, but I did remember him, and I believed that maybe someday he'll meet me. We will both fall in love again, and he did. We met again, and he is now my boyfriend.

Well, that's a long story.

I was sitting in my dorm room, reading a book. I am very fond of reading books. You'll always find me reading books. So, I was reading a book, then out of the blue my best friend, who is also my roommate—Emily, told me that I have to go on a date. At first I gave the brush off to go on the blind date, but then she emotionally blackmailed me and sent me on the blind date on her behalf.

On that blind date, I met the bad boy and most popular boy of our school, Aiden Allen. The girls are so crazy about him, and always keep a crowd around him that I had not seen his face till that day. I only heard his name.

Why did a bad boy start coming on a blind date? Actually, his best friend had dared him to go on a blind date, otherwise he would not normally go on dates.

In the first meeting itself I found Aiden useless. Certainly heinous! Because in the first meeting itself he told me that he wants to fuck me. I still loathe that moment. He wanted to date me, and make me his girlfriend. At first I had rejected him, because I was waiting for that childhood boy. However, I then figured out that Aiden was the person I was looking for. And then—what else? Without waiting for a second, I said yes to him.

So far so good, I am very happy with Aiden. Literally. Too much.

It's Saturday. I'm going on a date with Aiden tomorrow. I put on a face mask; I just want to look beautiful, and I don't want to ruin it. I can't wait. I hope nothing bad happens now. I don't want to lose him again.

Pulling me back from my thoughts, my phone starts ringing all of a sudden. I furrow my brows, and reach out for my phone.

Is it Aiden? No. It's Anna. Why is she calling me? She's my classmate.

I gasp as I pick up the call, saying, “Hello.”

“Umm…Belle. I want to talk to you urgently. Are you free?” she asks.

What does she want to talk about now?

“Say,” I shoot a quick response.

“Actually, my dad's friend's son…Ethan. He caught sight of you somewhere, and told me that he likes you, wants to talk to you. Since he didn't have your number, he asked me to call you and tell you about it,” she retorts.

Oh! So that was the thing. A boy likes me. What's new about that?

“I'm not interested,” I say, without giving a second to this thought.

“At Least meet him once,” she insists.

“Actually, I already have a boyfriend. I don't want to meet any other boy. Tell him I'm not interested,” I inform.

Usually, I don't tell people about my relationship, but now I needed to.

“Oh! Okay,” she says.

I hum in response and end the call.

I never thought Anna would ever request me like that. Well, I don't care who's that boy and how he looks. I'm not interested in any other boy. I'm saving myself for my baby. I grin shyly.

I put on a hot pink v-neck full sleeves crop top, in which my cleavage is visible, pairing it with blue denim straight jeans. I am fond of full sleeve crop tops and high waisted straight leg jeans. That's my everyday comfortable clothes.

Well, my best friend—Emily, might be waiting for me in the cafeteria. I'm dead hungry. I need to grab something soon otherwise I'll die of hunger.

As I walk outside of my room to reach the cafeteria, Anna approaches me.

“I want to talk,” she says.

I scowl. What does she want to talk about now?

“Say,” I say.

“He's stubborn. He's not listening to me. Just meet him once.”

She's again talking about that boy. I gasp and shake my head.

“I told you I have a boyfriend. Did you not tell that to him?” I shoot a quick question.

“I did…but he said he doesn't seem to care about that thing.”

“What!” My jaw drops.

She nods.

What kind of person is this? He doesn't seem to care if I have a boyfriend. Strange!

“Do you not know Ethan? He's in section A. He's headstrong and does whatever he wants. Everyone knows about that thing,” she wheezes as her eyes pop out in dazzle.

“No. I don't know him,” I growl and shake my head.

“Girls die just to have a talk with him and you don't even know him. Seriously!” She lets out a bitter chuckle. “Don't act now,” she says, making me furious now.

Who is this now? I don't know any Ethan and neither do I want to know about him.

“I don't know him, and I'm not interested,” I announce.

“You go and tell him on your own that you are not interested. Maybe he'll believe it then,” she demands.

What will I do now? How am I supposed to talk to him? What if Aiden gets angry? Aiden always gets angry when he sees me talking to another guy. But I have to talk to this boy now. Only that's the last option remains.

I sigh and nod. “I'll talk to him,” I declare.

“He’s waiting for you at the basketball court.”

I gasp and march towards the basketball court.

As soon as I reach there, I see a tall boy standing there alone. I can only see his back. He's truly a headstrong person. I don't know how I will talk. I start walking towards him and stop as I reach near him.

He's wearing a black shirt, the sleeves rolled up and black pants, paired with black shoes and a black belt. He has some kind of tattoos on his hands. Snakes, skulls, swords, rose flowers, butterflies and a dragon tattoo which was reaching to his neck.

What kind of a person is this? I don't like tattoos. Thankfully, Aiden has no tattoos.

He has not turned yet. It's fine if he doesn't turn—so that I can say it without feeling scared. I gulp my saliva down and pile up all my courage.

“Anna said that you like me and want to talk to me…but I'm not interested in talking to you. I have a boyfriend and…..” I am saying, but get interrupted as he turns.

“Say that again,” he demands.

My eyes dart as my eyes meet his dark brown eyes. My heart beat increases, and I start breathing heavily.

His long hair worn back in a messy bun with hairs on the lower neck laying down with loose strands in the front hair. He might have a height of 5 ‘11 approx. His masculine silhouette and toned chest is visible in the black shirt he's worn over his broad shoulders, and an analog silver watch adorned his big veiny hands.

As he starts taking steps towards me, his clean shaven skin glows in the light. His strong clenched jaw and steady gaze makes me vexed.

What is he doing here? Is he that boy Anna talked about? It's the first time I'm seeing him from this close.

I call off the memories of the moment when I saw him for the first time on the basketball court. He was playing when my eyes fell over him. Out of all the guys I've seen till the date, he looked handsome. And at that minute, I thought only one thing, I wished that he was my boyfriend. I got a crush on him the second I saw him because his looks were my type. That was the first and last time I saw him. After that I never saw him. I didn't actually try to because I didn't think there could be a chance between us; and then, I met Aiden and started dating him. I was unsure of the fact that Ethan is one of my classmates. Today—he's here because he likes me. How could that be possible?

As he takes more steps towards me, I begin to hear my heartbeats in my ears. We both are unable to break our eye contact. There's something strange in his eyes which makes me confused if I should look into his eyes or look away. His eyes are intoxicating me.

“You were saying something,” he says in his deep voice.

Why am I feeling this? Why is it hard for me to look away from his eyes?

He leans and whispers in my ear, “You will fall in love if you keep looking at me like this.”

I gasp and look down as my cheeks flush in embarrassment.

He leans back as he utters, “Hi! I'm Ethan…Ethan Wilson .”

I look into his eyes and gulp my saliva down, still feeling embarrassed and nervous.

“I'm…”

“Miss Belle Dubois. I know,” he states.

He already knows my full name. Does he know about me?

“Wh…why did you want to talk to me?” I ask, furrowing my brows.

“I like you and want to date you,” he says, looking into my eyes. My heart is pounding in my chest. I'm feeling like it will explode at any minute.

He likes me because he must have found me beautiful and sexy just like other guys. I never thought he would also fall for me. Is he pranking or does he really like me?

“I have a boyfriend.” His jaw clenches as soon as he hears that, and his veins pop up. I look at my feet, taking rapid breaths. “I hope you find someone else for yourself. I'm not interested.”

There's a pause between us. I nervously glance up into his eyes after a few seconds. He's looking a bit disappointed.

“Excuse me!” I say and walk away from him.

I don't know if that's a prank or if he really likes me. I just know one thing that is: I am not going to leave my boyfriend, my Aiden. I love him and only him. No person can ever make me leave my baby.

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    Now that I have rejected Ethan, I gasp and walk away from him, without giving a glance to him. I don't know if he likes me or not. I just know one thing, I like Aiden, my boyfriend, and I'm not going to break up with him. With great difficulty I have found him. I do not have the courage to lose him again. As I enter the cafeteria, my eyes search for the blonde hair girl, my best friend, Emily. She's been my best friend from day one. I sigh in relief as my eyes catch a glimpse of her blonde hair in the crowd. I grin and take a seat beside my best friend and my roommate—Emily. “I'm feeling under the weather,” I admit. She furrows her brows. “Why?” she asks as she takes a bite of the burger, and licks the corner of her mouth then. “A guy proposed to me just a moment ago.” “What? Another guy likes you,” Emily murmurs in shock. I wheeze, shutting my eyes and nodding my head. “Sometimes I wonder how many guys like you. By the way, what happened then?” she asks. “I rejec

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  • Only Regrets   Chapter 3

    As I reach the library, I try to take a book from the book shelf, but I can't reach my hands there. I begin to jump to take that book. However, I feel someone wrapped their hands around my waist from behind. I flinch from the abrupt touch and turn to see. The moment I see that person's face, my lips widen in a big grin. His dark brown eyes match with mine, the black leather jacket he has worn over the white tee—is adorning his features. His hair neatly combed and polished back, leaving a stand of hair in front of his right eye. He winks at me. As tears well up in my eyes, I grasp his t-shirt and pull him for a hug. It's my boyfriend, my Aiden. “Missed me?” he asks. I nod as tears start shedding from my eyes over his t-shirt one by one, recalling the moments of morning when Ethan told me that he likes me and wants to date me. I am not feeling good about it. Aiden pulls me away from him and cups my face, furrowing his brows. “Hey! Mad girl. Did someone say something?” He wipes

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  • Only Regrets   Chapter 4

    It's Sunday. Finally, I'm going on a date with my boyfriend. I do my morning routine hurriedly. I hope everything goes well. I take a shower, and after that I start finding something to wear for my date in my closet. What should I wear? I don't know where we are going. I should take help from Emily. “Emily.” “Yes,” she says in her sleepy voice. “Can you help me? I don't know what I should wear for my date?” I say. “I think you should wear lingerie,” she suggests. “Yeah,” I nod, and then furrow my brows. “Wait! What!” I ask as if I hear something wrong. She starts laughing at me. “Yeah. Go and wear lingerie. It will be easier for him to fuck you then,” she says, peeking from her blanket. I blink my eyes in disbelief and my cheeks flush in embarrassment. “Shut up. We are not going to do that,” I say, glancing away briefly. “Oh c'mon. Everyone knows what happens between couples. Don't be a fool. Everyone does that.” She steps towards me. I bite my lower lip in stress. “Every

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  • Only Regrets   Chapter 5

    “Belle, wake up. Look what's here.” Emily's hoarse voice wakes me up from my deep slumber. Sitting up in my bed, crossing my legs I stretch my arms and stifle a yawn. “What happened?” I ask, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. She approaches me, a big bouquet of delicate red rose flowers adorning her arms. “It was laying down outside of our room,” she informs. “For Belle: it is written on this bouquet.” She renders me that bouquet. My eyes gawk at the flowers carefully. I am a little surprised to hear this. No one has sent me flowers before today. Many guys proposed to me till date but no one ever sent flowers. Who did it today? Is it Aiden? “It must be Aiden.” I flash a wide grin to Emily. “We couldn't go on a date. Maybe that's why he sent these flowers to console me. I should call him.” “Okay,” she says and begins to roll her blanket. I pick up my phone; my mind reeling with Aiden's thoughts as I dial his number. He's such a great boyfriend. Never leaves a chance to make me fa

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  • Only Regrets   Chapter 6

    Aiden wants me to throw this bouquet but I don't want to. Ethan sent these flowers with feelings; throwing this bouquet, and crushing these flowers means crushing his feelings. I know there's nothing between us—no chance at all. But his feelings—just the thought of hurting his feelings hurts me. Mom always said if a person gives you a gift then you should always keep that—no matter what that gift is: jewelry, money, expensive, non expensive. Gifts are a person's emotions. How can I throw this bouquet? “Why does Aiden have no emotions?” I murmur. I stand up from the bed, grasping the bouquet. As I walk outside the campus, I look for someone to give this bouquet. It would be better to give this bouquet to another person rather than throwing it away. My eyes search for a person, and it lands over an old lady walking on the sidewalk. I take hurried steps towards her and offer her that bouquet. She furrows her brows. “This is for you. You are beautiful,” I say. Her eyes sparkle as s

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  • Only Regrets   Chapter 7

    I sigh as I press Aiden's apartment’s bell. The apartment is located in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in Manhattan. Aiden must be getting bored; he can't go anywhere because of his fracture, so I thought of surprising him by showing up here. After envisioning me, he'll be dazzled, and delighted also. My face lits up as he opens the door. “Belle, what are you doing here?” His jaw drops, his face stunned. My boyfriend, my Aiden—looking handsome as always in his Gucci leather jacket. “I missed you.” I close the gap between us and embrace him in a tight hug, my head resting on his chest; he's 6 feet tall. Maybe his height was the thing I fell for. “I missed you too,” he says. I pull back, glancing down at his fracture. “Is it better now?” I stare back into his eyes. He nods his head. “It is,” he states. “Let's go inside,” I say and we both enter his apartment. My eyes dart as I witness the sunset view of the Manhattan skyline through the glass walls of his drawing room

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Latest chapter

  • Only Regrets   Epilogue 2

    The next day, overwhelmed by the realization that the boy from Corsica is actually Ethan, I decide to leave Sofia. I head to Corsica, hoping to relive the feelings and memories from my childhood, to see if they can help me understand the emotions that have been haunting me.The waves gently lap at the shore as I sit alone on the familiar sand of Ajaccio Beach, the place where our story began. The sun is setting, casting the sky in a warm, orange glow, but all I can feel is the cold emptiness in my heart, all I feel is the heavy weight of unanswered questions pressing down on me.I close my eyes, and in my mind, I can see Ethan sitting beside me, just like we used to. I lean my head on his shoulder, feeling the familiar comfort of his presence, even if it’s only in my imagination.“Why, Ethan?” I whisper, my voice trembling with the ache in my heart. “Why did you leave me waiting all these years? Why didn’t you come back for me?”Tears spill over, sliding down my cheeks as I continue,

  • Only Regrets   Epilogue 1

    I fold the letter and slip it into an envelope, carefully writing ‘A Letter I'll Never Give to Ethan’ on the front. I place the envelope in the book Beauty and the Beast, alongside the first rose Ethan gave me, the one I have pressed between the pages. With a deep sigh, I shut the book, trying to push away the lingering sadness.Just then, my phone rings. I answer, and my heart skips a beat when I hear it's a modeling contract offer.“Hello, Belle?” a voice on the other end says. “We’re thrilled to inform you that your first major modeling contract has been finalized. You’ll be featured on a billboard in Paris.”My eyes widen in disbelief. Paris—the city where fashion dreams come true—is where my face will be showcased. The excitement and pride swell inside me as I thank the caller and hang up, my mind racing with the reality of this incredible milestone.As soon as I hang up, tears well up in my eyes. This is my first major contract, a clear sign that my hard work is paying off. Over

  • Only Regrets   Chapter 102

    Ethan looks more grown-up now. If I'm twenty, he might be twenty one, I guess. He looks more like a man than the teenage boy I remember. He still has that same cold, intense look in his dark brown eyes and his jaw remains tight, just like before. But now, these expressions are framed by a more mature face. Seeing Ethan taking slow, deliberate steps toward me, my heart begins to pound so hard that I can hear it echoing in my ears. Everything around us fades away, leaving just the two of us, lost in each other’s gaze. I can’t move, can’t think—only feel the magnetic pull between us growing stronger with each step he takes. “Are you really here?” I whisper, as he finally reaches me, my voice trembling with disbelief.“Yes, I’m here,” he replies softly, his eyes shimmering with tears.Tears brim in my eyes as I lock my eyes with his. “I don't believe it,” I mumble. Seeing him here now feels like a dream I don’t want to wake up from. “I'm imagining you.”It has been two years since we sa

  • Only Regrets   Chapter 101

    It has been two years since I left New York City and Ethan behind. Now, at twenty, my life has changed dramatically. I’m thriving as a model, spending long days and nights on my modeling career. Photoshoots, fashion shows, and casting calls fill my calendar, leaving little room for anything else. When I'm not modeling, I'm handling my father's hotels and resorts businesses, trying to prove myself in a world that demands so much. It feels amazing, earning money by myself at this young age. In the whirlwind of responsibilities and ambitions, I've almost forgotten about love. Due to my busy schedule, I've completely let go of the idea of relationships and dating now. Two years have passed, and my shoulder-length hair—that had once been trimmed by Aiden—now falls comfortably to my mid-back. While it’s not as long as it was before, it has grown out beautifully, mirroring the changes and growth in my own life.I had been taking my medications and therapy sessions for schizophrenia as well,

  • Only Regrets   Chapter 100

    The journey back to Sofia feels like a blur. I sit in the private jet with my father, staring out the window but seeing nothing. My mind is consumed with thoughts of Ethan, the pain of our separation pricking my heart. Once we land, I retreat into the familiarity of our mansion, but it offers no comfort. Days turn into weeks, and weeks into months, yet the ache remains. I isolate myself, shutting out the world and everyone in it. My parents are frustrated with my demeanor, especially my mother, who doesn’t understand why I’ve stopped caring about everything I once loved.In the solitude of my room, time seems to stretch endlessly. I spend hours staring out the window, feeling no shift in my own heart. The walls of my room, once comforting, now feel like a cage. Every object, every corner, reminds me of Ethan, of what we had, and what I’ve lost. And Ethan's hallucinations make it even harder to forget about him. “Belle, you need to get out of this house,” my mother snaps one day from

  • Only Regrets   Chapter 99

    As graduation day approaches, the excitement that usually accompanies the end of high school is overshadowed by a deep sense of melancholy. I’ve spent the past few days packing up my belongings, preparing to leave the dorm that has been my home for these formative years. Every item I pack feels like a piece of my past being sealed away, and the act of boxing up my life brings an unexpected weight to my chest.The day arrives with its usual pomp and ceremony. The campus is filled with graduates in their caps and gowns, the air buzzing with a mix of excitement and nostalgia. The graduation ceremony itself is a blur of speeches and applause. I’m called up to receive my diploma, a moment that should have been filled with pride and joy. Instead, it’s tinged with sadness, as I feel the weight of everything that has happened. The graduation ceremony is also the final chance to see everyone before we all go our separate ways. Friends and acquaintances gather for one last hurrah. The atmosphe

  • Only Regrets   Chapter 98

    I push open the heavy wooden doors of the church, the familiar creak echoing softly through the quiet space. I walk down the aisle, my footsteps muted by the worn carpet, and make my way to my usual spot—a solitary pew in the corner.The church is dimly lit, shimmering with a soft glow from the candles flickering by the altar. I sit down, feeling the weight of my heart pressing heavily on my chest. I bow my head, folding my hands in my lap, and let out a shuddering breath."God, it’s me again," I whisper, my voice trembling with emotion. "I’m not sure how to start this conversation. I don’t even know where to begin."I close my eyes, trying to steady my racing thoughts. Ethan’s face flashes in my mind, and my tears begin to fall, tracing hot lines down my cheeks."I don’t understand why things had to end this way. I wanted so much more. I thought we had a chance, a real chance to be happy together."I take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside me."He said he loved me, but I

  • Only Regrets   Chapter 97

    Ethan comes running behind me, asking me to stop for a second. As I keep on walking on the road, my vision blurs by the car headlights. I'm too lost in my thoughts to notice the car speeding towards me. Suddenly, I feel a strong hand grab my arm, pulling me back just in time."Belle, what the hell are you doing?" Ethan yells, his voice filled with panic and anger.I can hardly breathe, my heart pounding from the close call. I look up at him, and his eyes are filled with a mixture of relief and fury. My mind feels like it’s spinning, and I can’t tell what’s real or just a trick of my mind. Everything around me seems to blur, and I feel disconnected from my own thoughts. It’s like I’m trapped in a fog, struggling to understand what’s happening.I'm just done with my life. The schizophrenia makes it hard to define for me what's real or what's hallucination. I've literally gone mad. It would be better if I would have bumped into that car. Why did he pull me back?“Why the hell are you he

  • Only Regrets   Chapter 96

    As he kisses and touches me, his hands roam possessively over my body. I gasp, feeling overwhelmed and exposed.“Ethan, it's enough,” I whisper against his lips.“No, it's not. I want more of you, sweetheart,” he whispers, his voice raw with desire. "What if someone enters and sees me like this?" I ask, my voice trembling with a mix of fear and desire. “I don't want anyone else seeing me in this semi nude form.”“You’re mine, Belle,” he murmurs, his voice low and possessive. “Every part of you is mine, and only mine. If anyone else dares to see what’s meant for me alone, I’ll make sure they regret it.”He looks at me with a fierce, possessive glare. "If anyone dares to see you like this," he growls, his voice dripping with intensity, "I'II make that person blind. No one can dare to take a glimpse of your naked form until I'm breathing. No one means no one.”Hearing Ethan's words, my heart pounds in my chest. The intensity in his voice, the fierce protectiveness in his eyes—it sends a

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