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Only Regrets Chapter 4
It's Sunday. Finally, I'm going on a date with my boyfriend. I do my morning routine hurriedly. I hope everything goes well. I take a shower, and after that I start finding something to wear for my date in my closet. What should I wear? I don't know where we are going. I should take help from Emily. “Emily.” “Yes,” she says in her sleepy voice. “Can you help me? I don't know what I should wear for my date?” I say. “I think you should wear lingerie,” she suggests. “Yeah,” I nod, and then furrow my brows. “Wait! What!” I ask as if I hear something wrong. She starts laughing at me. “Yeah. Go and wear lingerie. It will be easier for him to fuck you then,” she says, peeking from her blanket. I blink my eyes in disbelief and my cheeks flush in embarrassment. “Shut up. We are not going to do that,” I say, glancing away briefly. “Oh c'mon. Everyone knows what happens between couples. Don't be a fool. Everyone does that.” She steps towards me. I bite my lower lip in stress. “Every
Only Regrets Chapter 5
“Belle, wake up. Look what's here.” Emily's hoarse voice wakes me up from my deep slumber. Sitting up in my bed, crossing my legs I stretch my arms and stifle a yawn. “What happened?” I ask, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. She approaches me, a big bouquet of delicate red rose flowers adorning her arms. “It was laying down outside of our room,” she informs. “For Belle: it is written on this bouquet.” She renders me that bouquet. My eyes gawk at the flowers carefully. I am a little surprised to hear this. No one has sent me flowers before today. Many guys proposed to me till date but no one ever sent flowers. Who did it today? Is it Aiden? “It must be Aiden.” I flash a wide grin to Emily. “We couldn't go on a date. Maybe that's why he sent these flowers to console me. I should call him.” “Okay,” she says and begins to roll her blanket. I pick up my phone; my mind reeling with Aiden's thoughts as I dial his number. He's such a great boyfriend. Never leaves a chance to make me fa
Only Regrets Chapter 6
Aiden wants me to throw this bouquet but I don't want to. Ethan sent these flowers with feelings; throwing this bouquet, and crushing these flowers means crushing his feelings. I know there's nothing between us—no chance at all. But his feelings—just the thought of hurting his feelings hurts me. Mom always said if a person gives you a gift then you should always keep that—no matter what that gift is: jewelry, money, expensive, non expensive. Gifts are a person's emotions. How can I throw this bouquet? “Why does Aiden have no emotions?” I murmur. I stand up from the bed, grasping the bouquet. As I walk outside the campus, I look for someone to give this bouquet. It would be better to give this bouquet to another person rather than throwing it away. My eyes search for a person, and it lands over an old lady walking on the sidewalk. I take hurried steps towards her and offer her that bouquet. She furrows her brows. “This is for you. You are beautiful,” I say. Her eyes sparkle as s
Only Regrets Chapter 7
I sigh as I press Aiden's apartment’s bell. The apartment is located in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in Manhattan. Aiden must be getting bored; he can't go anywhere because of his fracture, so I thought of surprising him by showing up here. After envisioning me, he'll be dazzled, and delighted also. My face lits up as he opens the door. “Belle, what are you doing here?” His jaw drops, his face stunned. My boyfriend, my Aiden—looking handsome as always in his Gucci leather jacket. “I missed you.” I close the gap between us and embrace him in a tight hug, my head resting on his chest; he's 6 feet tall. Maybe his height was the thing I fell for. “I missed you too,” he says. I pull back, glancing down at his fracture. “Is it better now?” I stare back into his eyes. He nods his head. “It is,” he states. “Let's go inside,” I say and we both enter his apartment. My eyes dart as I witness the sunset view of the Manhattan skyline through the glass walls of his drawing room
Only Regrets Chapter 8
Laying my phone down, I sit on my bed and uncap the bottle of Chanel Le Vernis in ‘Rouge Noir,’ the rich, deep color is my favorite shade. With steady hands, I begin to apply the polish on my long, slender fingers. Just then, my phone starts buzzing. Who's calling now? Without glancing at the phone screen, I pick up the call. “Belle, what are you doing babe?” Aiden's voice comes from the other side. I press the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I continue applying nail polish. “I'm busy,” I say. “Busy? Doing what?” he asks. “Applying nail polish.” “Nail polish. Seriously! Is nail polish more important than me?” he exclaims. “Yes. And by the way we've broken up. Did you forget that?” “You broke up. I didn't. You aren't allowed to break up with me until I want that,” he utters. “And when will you want that?” I ask. “Never,” he retorts. After hearing that, a smile appears on my face. “I'll marry you, have kids with you…at least three kids. And then I'll think if I wan
Only Regrets Chapter 9
"You have a natural talent," the photographer praises. His words reassure me, his compliment gives me more confidence. "I think you have a bright future.” I flash a wide grin. “Thank you so much,” I say. I feel nervous. However, as the session progress, I find my confidence growing more and more. I give an audition, and walk the runaway with elegance, like a diva. “We'll be in touch,” the casting director says, rendering me his business card; I make my way out of the modeling company. After a very tiring day, I have reached my boyfriend's apartment. Now only spending time with him can freshen up my mood and energize me. “Hi!” I greet him as I enter his apartment, but he doesn't respond to me. Sitting on his couch, he continues playing his video game, his face cold and rude; the glow of his massive flat-screen TV illuminating his focused face. His fingers move deftly over the controller, his eyes never leaving the screen. Sometimes I feel jealous of his fondness for video game
Only Regrets Chapter 10
“Belle, let's kiss now.” Aiden cups my face and leans to me. I push him slightly away from me. “I'm feeling under the weather. Sorry,” I say, standing up from the couch. Tears brimming into my eyes as I glance away briefly and walk outside of his apartment; my mind is swirling with anxiety and frustration of my parents' fight. All the fights I've witnessed of my parents, reeling in my mind like a movie. What bad had I done in my past life that I was born as their child? I wish I would have died the day I was born. I enter the library to find some peace of mind, by reading a book. Walking hopelessly in the library, I bump into someone all of a sudden and fall above that person, letting a gasp come out from my mouth. My breasts press on the hard chest of that person. I glance up swiftly to see him. It's Ethan. His long, dark brown hair falls in waves around his face, brushing his cheekbones. My eyes meet his dark brown eyes; his gaze is often intense and penetrating, as if he can see
Only Regrets Chapter 11
Next day, after waking up in the morning and getting ready for class, when I and Emily reach the school corridor, we see that there is a notice pasted there on the board. “What is this?” I knit my brows and turn my face to Emily. “This must be a section notice. Our new academic year has started, so our sections must have changed now,” she retorts. Letting a gasp come out, I nod my head. That means now I'm no longer in the same section as Emily. “Let's see,” I say. As I walk near the notice board, my eyes start searching for my name in the list. I grin as I find my name. “Emily, I'm in section C,” I shout as I try to find her in the crowd. “And I'm in section A.” She approaches me. I knew that we were going to part. “Okay, meet you at lunchtime.” I wish her a goodbye and emerge towards my class. I'm already late. I hope the teacher will not punish me on the very first day of my senior year of high school. As I reach and ask for the permission of the teacher to enter the
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Only Regrets Epilogue 2
The next day, overwhelmed by the realization that the boy from Corsica is actually Ethan, I decide to leave Sofia. I head to Corsica, hoping to relive the feelings and memories from my childhood, to see if they can help me understand the emotions that have been haunting me.The waves gently lap at the shore as I sit alone on the familiar sand of Ajaccio Beach, the place where our story began. The sun is setting, casting the sky in a warm, orange glow, but all I can feel is the cold emptiness in my heart, all I feel is the heavy weight of unanswered questions pressing down on me.I close my eyes, and in my mind, I can see Ethan sitting beside me, just like we used to. I lean my head on his shoulder, feeling the familiar comfort of his presence, even if it’s only in my imagination.“Why, Ethan?” I whisper, my voice trembling with the ache in my heart. “Why did you leave me waiting all these years? Why didn’t you come back for me?”Tears spill over, sliding down my cheeks as I continue,
Only Regrets Epilogue 1
I fold the letter and slip it into an envelope, carefully writing ‘A Letter I'll Never Give to Ethan’ on the front. I place the envelope in the book Beauty and the Beast, alongside the first rose Ethan gave me, the one I have pressed between the pages. With a deep sigh, I shut the book, trying to push away the lingering sadness.Just then, my phone rings. I answer, and my heart skips a beat when I hear it's a modeling contract offer.“Hello, Belle?” a voice on the other end says. “We’re thrilled to inform you that your first major modeling contract has been finalized. You’ll be featured on a billboard in Paris.”My eyes widen in disbelief. Paris—the city where fashion dreams come true—is where my face will be showcased. The excitement and pride swell inside me as I thank the caller and hang up, my mind racing with the reality of this incredible milestone.As soon as I hang up, tears well up in my eyes. This is my first major contract, a clear sign that my hard work is paying off. Over
Only Regrets Chapter 102
Ethan looks more grown-up now. If I'm twenty, he might be twenty one, I guess. He looks more like a man than the teenage boy I remember. He still has that same cold, intense look in his dark brown eyes and his jaw remains tight, just like before. But now, these expressions are framed by a more mature face. Seeing Ethan taking slow, deliberate steps toward me, my heart begins to pound so hard that I can hear it echoing in my ears. Everything around us fades away, leaving just the two of us, lost in each other’s gaze. I can’t move, can’t think—only feel the magnetic pull between us growing stronger with each step he takes. “Are you really here?” I whisper, as he finally reaches me, my voice trembling with disbelief.“Yes, I’m here,” he replies softly, his eyes shimmering with tears.Tears brim in my eyes as I lock my eyes with his. “I don't believe it,” I mumble. Seeing him here now feels like a dream I don’t want to wake up from. “I'm imagining you.”It has been two years since we sa
Only Regrets Chapter 101
It has been two years since I left New York City and Ethan behind. Now, at twenty, my life has changed dramatically. I’m thriving as a model, spending long days and nights on my modeling career. Photoshoots, fashion shows, and casting calls fill my calendar, leaving little room for anything else. When I'm not modeling, I'm handling my father's hotels and resorts businesses, trying to prove myself in a world that demands so much. It feels amazing, earning money by myself at this young age. In the whirlwind of responsibilities and ambitions, I've almost forgotten about love. Due to my busy schedule, I've completely let go of the idea of relationships and dating now. Two years have passed, and my shoulder-length hair—that had once been trimmed by Aiden—now falls comfortably to my mid-back. While it’s not as long as it was before, it has grown out beautifully, mirroring the changes and growth in my own life.I had been taking my medications and therapy sessions for schizophrenia as well,
Only Regrets Chapter 100
The journey back to Sofia feels like a blur. I sit in the private jet with my father, staring out the window but seeing nothing. My mind is consumed with thoughts of Ethan, the pain of our separation pricking my heart. Once we land, I retreat into the familiarity of our mansion, but it offers no comfort. Days turn into weeks, and weeks into months, yet the ache remains. I isolate myself, shutting out the world and everyone in it. My parents are frustrated with my demeanor, especially my mother, who doesn’t understand why I’ve stopped caring about everything I once loved.In the solitude of my room, time seems to stretch endlessly. I spend hours staring out the window, feeling no shift in my own heart. The walls of my room, once comforting, now feel like a cage. Every object, every corner, reminds me of Ethan, of what we had, and what I’ve lost. And Ethan's hallucinations make it even harder to forget about him. “Belle, you need to get out of this house,” my mother snaps one day from
Only Regrets Chapter 99
As graduation day approaches, the excitement that usually accompanies the end of high school is overshadowed by a deep sense of melancholy. I’ve spent the past few days packing up my belongings, preparing to leave the dorm that has been my home for these formative years. Every item I pack feels like a piece of my past being sealed away, and the act of boxing up my life brings an unexpected weight to my chest.The day arrives with its usual pomp and ceremony. The campus is filled with graduates in their caps and gowns, the air buzzing with a mix of excitement and nostalgia. The graduation ceremony itself is a blur of speeches and applause. I’m called up to receive my diploma, a moment that should have been filled with pride and joy. Instead, it’s tinged with sadness, as I feel the weight of everything that has happened. The graduation ceremony is also the final chance to see everyone before we all go our separate ways. Friends and acquaintances gather for one last hurrah. The atmosphe
Only Regrets Chapter 98
I push open the heavy wooden doors of the church, the familiar creak echoing softly through the quiet space. I walk down the aisle, my footsteps muted by the worn carpet, and make my way to my usual spot—a solitary pew in the corner.The church is dimly lit, shimmering with a soft glow from the candles flickering by the altar. I sit down, feeling the weight of my heart pressing heavily on my chest. I bow my head, folding my hands in my lap, and let out a shuddering breath."God, it’s me again," I whisper, my voice trembling with emotion. "I’m not sure how to start this conversation. I don’t even know where to begin."I close my eyes, trying to steady my racing thoughts. Ethan’s face flashes in my mind, and my tears begin to fall, tracing hot lines down my cheeks."I don’t understand why things had to end this way. I wanted so much more. I thought we had a chance, a real chance to be happy together."I take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside me."He said he loved me, but I
Only Regrets Chapter 97
Ethan comes running behind me, asking me to stop for a second. As I keep on walking on the road, my vision blurs by the car headlights. I'm too lost in my thoughts to notice the car speeding towards me. Suddenly, I feel a strong hand grab my arm, pulling me back just in time."Belle, what the hell are you doing?" Ethan yells, his voice filled with panic and anger.I can hardly breathe, my heart pounding from the close call. I look up at him, and his eyes are filled with a mixture of relief and fury. My mind feels like it’s spinning, and I can’t tell what’s real or just a trick of my mind. Everything around me seems to blur, and I feel disconnected from my own thoughts. It’s like I’m trapped in a fog, struggling to understand what’s happening.I'm just done with my life. The schizophrenia makes it hard to define for me what's real or what's hallucination. I've literally gone mad. It would be better if I would have bumped into that car. Why did he pull me back?“Why the hell are you he
Only Regrets Chapter 96
As he kisses and touches me, his hands roam possessively over my body. I gasp, feeling overwhelmed and exposed.“Ethan, it's enough,” I whisper against his lips.“No, it's not. I want more of you, sweetheart,” he whispers, his voice raw with desire. "What if someone enters and sees me like this?" I ask, my voice trembling with a mix of fear and desire. “I don't want anyone else seeing me in this semi nude form.”“You’re mine, Belle,” he murmurs, his voice low and possessive. “Every part of you is mine, and only mine. If anyone else dares to see what’s meant for me alone, I’ll make sure they regret it.”He looks at me with a fierce, possessive glare. "If anyone dares to see you like this," he growls, his voice dripping with intensity, "I'II make that person blind. No one can dare to take a glimpse of your naked form until I'm breathing. No one means no one.”Hearing Ethan's words, my heart pounds in my chest. The intensity in his voice, the fierce protectiveness in his eyes—it sends a
