CHAPTER 1

"I gasp while watching him fucking a woman, a different woman this time. Hindi ako makapaniwala na ganito sya, I let him do what he want since I know that I cannot give his needs.

The woman left after they reach the heaven and the most favorite part of two people who is xchanging body heat and needs.

My reaction went down when he look at my direction, sa pinto ng condo unit ni Dark. His jaw clenched and walk to my directions. My emotions and feelings satrt crumbling, my mind want to slap him hard but my heart want to hug him tight.

"What are you doing here?" bumalik ang ulirat ko ng lumakad sya papalapit saakin at para bang nawala ang gana nya sa ginagawa nyang kababalaghan ngayon ng makita nya ako, I feel some sting on my chest. I gotta be strong now, I need to.

I haven't seen him for months, nag-ttext ako at walang humpay na tumatawag sa kanya. I want to be back on his arm again, I really want to feel his arms again, and desidido ako na ibigay ang gusto nya.

"Come on, I just want to talk with you Dark-"

"Katarina, bakit ba ang hirap mong umintindi? I already say that I want to be free and I don't want you in my life, you're fucking frigid.." umiling ako at pilit na pinipigilan ang luha ko. It's like my world fall into pieces when he said those words that I didn't expect from him, he changed a lot.

Sa bawat salita na binibitawan nya ay para ba akong tutumba at paunti-unting nawawalan ng lakas at tignan sya sa mga mata, I can't even recognize the man that I love the most.

Kailangan ko si Dark ngayon, he is all I need. Ang laki ng mga bagay na kinakaharap ko at hindi ko kaya ng mag-isa lang.

Pinag-laban ko si Dark sa pamilya ko, kahit na alam ko ayaw sa kanya nila Papa dahil sa kagustuhan nila ay pinilit ko na si Dark lang ang gusto at gugustuhin ko, wala nang iba pa.

"Dark, I-i am not. But can you respect my decision. I'm scared-"

He slam the table at sinipa iyon palayo sa kanya. That girl na katalik nya at lumabas sa CR. She look worried at Dark. But when her eyes found me, nag umpisa syang taasan ako ng kilay. I can't believe she have the guts to act in that way.

I am his girlfriend and I know she must respect me even Dark is doing this to me.

She look unwell when I smile at her, pilit ko na pinipigilan ang kamay ko na manampal ng tao, pero alam ko ang lugar ko at hindi ko teritoryo ito kaya kahit papaano. Marunong ako rumispeto sa tao na may-ari ng bahay.

"Get out, I don't want to see you.." para akong nanigas sa kinatatayuan ko at nang lalamig sa mga tingin nya, those eyes that always makes my heart feel the warmth of his love, it fades and turn into a stone.

Hindi ko na kilala yung Dark na nanligaw saakin noon at minahal ako sa loob ng tatlong taon, toto nga talaga siguro na mawawala ang pag-mamahal ng isang tao sayo kung may iba na itong kinakabaliwan.

At hindi na ako iyon.

Hindi ko matatanggap na matatapos lang kami dahil dito, dahil sa dahilan na ito, I want to stay with him. I plan my future with him. Nangarap ako na makasama sya at magising sa bawat umaga na katabi si Dark, only him.

Matalim ko syang tinignan, makuha sana sya sa tingin. I am not born and raised to cry for a man like him, but damn. I really love him, I plan my own future with him. He's all i want.

"I won't agree on the breakup na gusto mo Dark-"

"Tangina bakit ba ang kulit kulit mo ha!" I cover my mouth and my tears run down on my cheeks. Never in my life na sinigawan ako at trinato ako ng ganito. All I recieved is love and affection from all people that I know.

He throw his phone beside me pero di naman ako tinamaan. But it really break my heart, his actions. Kita ko naman na ayaw nya na talaga. I'm pushing my luck, what if he still want me and eventually, he will realize that I'm the most important and beautiful part of his life.

"AYOKO NA SAYO KATARINA. MADUMI KANA NGA MASYADO KAPANG NAG MAMALINIS!" my mouth dropped while my eyes darted on him

"What did you just say?" i whisper and he smirk.

"Madumi kana nga nag mamalinis kapa" I can feel my heart beat went faster and I can't barely breath, parang iniipit dibdib ko sa sakit at hirap akong huminga, I literally have no idea tungkol sa binabato nya saakin.

"I know your secret Katarina, alam ko lahat lahat! Pero nag bulag bulagan ako kasi mahal na mahal din kita! Pero nakakapagod nang ganito. I accepted you while you can't accept yourself, i didn't ask for your body pero wag mo naman ako itrato na tanga. I am waiting for your confession. Ilang taon na tinatago mo padin?" Kinunutan ko sya ng oo saka tumawa ng nakakaloko. And now he throw some nonsense shits to me. Hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi ni Dark.

"Dark please listen to me, i really have no idea in what you're saying so please come bac-"

"No, I'm tired of loving you. Nakakapagod kang mahalin" when he said that, bumagal ang ikot ng mundo ko, ambagal ng lahat at ako lang hindi, every words he said. Tumatagos sa dibdib ko at para akong tinutulak ng paulit-ulit matapos ko na tumayo.

Pero yung sakit, nandito padin, parang pinipiga sa sakit at hirap huminga. No, I know he is bluffing, maybe if I do what he want noon palang ay babalik na sya saakin.

I sigh and ready to do my final act, I know i look insane if I do this pero hindi ko talaga kaya na mawala sya sakin. I can't. He is the man of my dreams, handa akong mag-patawad.

"Dark." Binaba ko zipper ng dress ko at bumaba naman yon agad. I close my eyes and stopping my eyes to cry more. Ayoko masira at maisip nya na ayoko kasi umiiyak ako.