ElizabethWithin fifteen minutes, I’m heading out to my car to meet Titus and Mack.Usually we meet at Huxley’s, but today Titus asked us to come to his office. His company is based in Parnell, not far from Mack’s offices, in a smart glass-and-chrome building overlooking Hobson Bay and with views of Rangitoto Island.I pull up in a Visitors’ spot in the car park out the front, sign in at Reception, get my visitor’s sticker, and then take the elevator up to the top floor.“Morning, Ms. Tremblay,” Elaine, his PA, greets me as I exit the elevator. “Please go straight in. They’re waiting for you.”“Thank you.” I push open the glass door and go inside.They’re sitting in the cream chairs that circle a coffee table at one end of his office, and they both raise a hand as I approach and take one of the chairs next to them.Titus—as his nickname suggests—is a big guy, an inch or two taller than Huxley and Mack, and with shoulders that reflect the fact that he played Lock for his university rug
I open my eyes. He’s not smiling.“It’s nothing to do with us,” Titus says quickly, glancing at him. Clearly, they’ve been talking about us.“It is when it impinges on our businesses,” Mack says. His gaze is direct. He’s annoyed. I know him well enough to suspect it’s nothing to do with business. He’s worried about Huxley’s feelings. Well, I’m not going to discuss that in front of Titus. He doesn’t need to know the ins and outs of my love life.“When do they need to know by?” I ask briskly.“There’s no rush,” Titus says, “I think we can take a few weeks to work it out. But obviously the sooner the better.”“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “I’ll have to give it some thought, if that’s okay.”“Of course.” Titus pulls a folder toward him. “Alan gave me a few figures to go through. Shall we take a look at them?”I nod, and he proceeds to read out the notes, and we take half an hour to discuss them.“I’d better get going,” I tell them when we’re done. “I’ve got a bit of work to catch up on.”“Yea
ElizabethI need to think about England objectively, but I’m not going to be able to do that today. I go to my office for a while, hoping to lose myself in work, but I’m distracted and irritable, and my staff are heartily sick of me by the time I decide to head home at five p.m. It’s early for me, but I’m tired and emotional, and I don’t like working when my mind’s not on the job.My brother, Arthur, is a dog breeder, and he looks after Nymph whenever I’m busy. I stop off at his kennels and pick her up, drive home, then take her out for a walk for half an hour around Albert Park.My brain feels as if it’s overstuffed with too many thoughts. I feel a bit feverish, like I’m coming down with something. I argue with Mack all the time, and I’m used to him yelling at me, but for some reason his words today really upset me. Maybe it’s because what he said hit me so close to home. He and Huxley are like brothers, and I know Mack’s worried about him. He genuinely wants him to be happy.My musc
ElizabethPen texts me to say she’s on her way up. While the espresso fills one of the cups, I go over to the front door and open it to see her walking up the corridor. I smile. “Hey, you!”Nymph runs past me and dashes up to her, and she stops briefly to fuss her before following her up to the apartment. We exchange a kiss, and she comes in.She’s six years older and a couple of inches taller than me, but other than that we’re relatively alike, with the same light-brown hair, although hers is longer and wavier, and she often wears it up in a bun, like today.“The coffee’s nearly ready,” I tell her, going over to steam the milk. “How are you doing?”She dumps her purse on the breakfast bar and sits on one of the barstools. “Honestly?”I glance over at her. “Oh, what’s up?”She gives me a sad smile, and her bottom lip trembles. Only then do I see how pale she is, and the dark patches under her eyes, before she puts her face in her hands and bursts into tears.“Oh, no…” I run around the
“I feel as if I’m at a point where I need to choose between my marriage and having a baby,” she says.We study each other for a moment. She looks surprised at having finally said what’s obviously been on her mind, and maybe even a little bit relieved.“Perhaps what you need right now is a break,” I say slowly. “Maybe a holiday. It seems perfectly natural to me that it’s put an incredible strain on your relationship. What you need is to rediscover why you’re together. Concentrate on yourselves. Give yourselves the opportunity to fall back in love again.”She nods and brightens. “I think you’re right.”“You don’t need to make any big, final decisions right now. It’s not all or nothing. There are still options available to you. Maybe pre-implantation genetic testing is what you need, to increase the chances of having a healthy embryo before it’s even implanted.”“Maybe. How is the research going on that, by the way?”“It’s good. Actually, I have something to tell you. I didn’t want to say
HuxleyThe Crescent is a bar halfway between the club and Elizabeth’s apartment, and we all occasionally meet there for a drink. This is the first time Elizabeth and I have met on our own, though, and I head out, conscious that my pulse is racing faster than normal.The days are still humid and warm, but as we head toward autumn, the nights are cooling down, and I’m glad of my jacket. The sun has almost set, and the streets are flooded with a deep orange light and lengthening shadows.I’m looking forward to seeing her, but I feel anxious too. I’m not sure why. Maybe because we haven’t yet talked properly about what comes next. I’m hopeful, but she hasn’t texted me today, even though I’ve messaged her a couple of times, and I have an odd feeling that this isn’t going to end well.I arrive at The Crescent and go inside. She’s not here yet, so I go up to the bar and order two whiskies, choosing the Ardbeg Islay malt I know she’ll like. She’ll be walking because the bar’s not that far awa
My heart’s racing. Her expression is hopeful and cautious. She wants me to be pleased for her. But she’s expecting me to be angry.“Is it a permanent move?” I ask.“They’ve requested a two-year commitment.”Two years. I give a short, humorless laugh, lean back, and look away, out through the window. It’s dark now, and the round lights in each alcove make me feel as if we’re on life rafts floating on the ocean, each nook its own small world.“Say something,” she pleads.I turn my gaze back to her. “What do you want? My blessing?” My voice is sharp, but I don’t care.She winces. “I understand why you’re angry.”“I’m not angry. I’m incredibly hurt.”Her brows draw together, and she bites her lip.“Last night,” I continue, “I’m pretty sure I remember us having sex.”“I know.”“Four times.”Her eyes glimmer with a touch of humor. “I know.”“Tell me it wasn’t amazing.”She gives me a look that saysYou know I can’t.“You’re just going to walk away from that?” I ask.“It was just sex,” she sa
ElizabethAfter our conversation in the bar, I do my best to put the events of the past few weeks behind me and concentrate on my career.I tell Titus and Mack that I’m going to England, and Titus calls Alan and lets him know. Everyone at Acheron Pharmaceuticals is overjoyed, and I have several long phone calls with people talking about practical details like where I’m going to live and what office I’ll use.I don’t see much of Huxley. For the first time in years, I don’t hear from him for three days—no calls or messages. I don’t speak to him at all until I turn up at the club for our usual Friday meeting. When I walk into the boardroom, he greets me with a smile. He’s polite and funny, like he always is, bustling around making sure we have coffees and food. But he avoids my eyes, and when the meeting is over, he’s out of the door first, saying he has things to do.I’m sure Mack has picked up on the mood, and I half expect him to wait behind to admonish me. But he doesn’t. He gathers u
June 21st (two months later)KipIt’s the winter solstice, exactly six months after I met Alice, and Mum and Dad’s house is full of people who’ve come to celebrate the renewal of Saxon and Catie’s vows and their baby-naming ceremony. Saxon sprung a wedding on her after Christmas while they were on holiday, because he wanted to marry her but knew she’d be overwhelmed by having to say her vows in front of lots of people. However, six months have gone by now, and she’s settled down a lot, to the extent that when he suggested they combine a naming ceremony with a vow renewal ceremony, she jumped at the idea.Dad’s twin brother, Brandon, and my aunt, Jenny, are chatting to Mum and Alice’s mum. Penny has been spending a lot of time with Mum, and I’m so pleased that they genuinely seem to get on well. Penny’s holding one of Catie’s twins and Mum’s holding the other, and the two of them are clearly enjoying themselves.Kennedy’s helping Catie get ready. Her husband, Jackson, with baby Eddie, i
He holds out a hand to me. “Let’s go outside.”Meekly, my head whirling, I let him pull me up and lead me out into the garden. It’s dark now, and a couple of moths are fluttering around the kitchen window, but there’s enough light for us to see each other clearly, and it’s not cold.Still standing, he turns me to face him. “What do you think?” he asks.“I don’t know what to say. I… I’m ashamed Mum feels that Charlie and I didn’t listen to her. She’s right of course. I was determined to make the sacrifice because I thought it was what I should do. But she is still my mother, and she deserves to have a say in it.”I look down at where he’s holding my hands. “But it’s not easy. It would be a huge change for her to move, and I know that change is one thing she really struggles with. When anything big happens, it always makes her unwell.”“That’s fair enough, but we’d make sure we did it in small steps so it didn’t become too overwhelming.” He lifts my hands and kisses my fingers. “Whateve
I glance at Charlie, a little ashamed. She looks back at me, her lips twisting.“I don’t think it occurred to either of you to ask me what I want,” Mum says. “And every time I tried to talk about it, you shut me down.”I stare at her, horrified. Is that true? I suppose it is. She did try to say she wanted to find a solution that would mean neither of us would have to give up the men in our lives, but we both steamrollered over her, insisting we weren’t going to cave.“When I talked to Kip, though,” Mum continues, “he said, ‘What do you want?’ I was so touched I nearly cried.”I glance at him, but he’s looking at her, his lips curving up behind his fingers.Mum looks at me. “As I said, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But I’m not going to let either of you pass up on the chance of happiness with the man of your dreams for me. Alice!” She snaps as I open my mouth. “Please!”I close my mouth again, shocked at her sharp tone.“I know that over the years you’ve had to step up an
AliceI’m absolutely shattered.Charlie’s revelation yesterday threw all three of us into a whirlwind of heightened emotions, and it’s been very difficult to stop them spinning us around.Mum went to bed early last night, exhausted from the whole thing, and the two of us stayed up until very late, checking on her from time to time, both frightened of leaving her alone.“We have to sort this,” Charlie told me at one point, long after the sun had set. “We can’t keep doing this to her.”“I know that,” I snapped. But I couldn’t see a way clear through the thick forest of our problems.In the end, both of us were so tired and irritable and upset that we decided to sleep on it and talk again the next day.I lay awake for about an hour, thinking about Kip, missing him, and feeling miserable, and fighting with myself because he’s my best friend, and I wanted to call him and talk it over with him, and I couldn’t. Eventually I crashed out, slept too long, and I’ve woken with a headache, grouchy
I sigh. “Shit.”“Yeah. She was so happy, and I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. I kept thinking about the baby, and I knew I had to try and make a go of my marriage for the baby’s sake. So I stayed. I told Renée I couldn’t see her again. She texted me occasionally, but we didn’t meet up. I tried, I really did. But Chloe had morning sickness for the first few months, and after that she just didn’t want sex—she said it felt weird while she was pregnant. And then the baby was born, and even a few months after, she still wasn’t interested. I tried to be understanding, and accept she was tired and probably sore, but… I know it makes me a terrible person, but I just kept thinking about how Renée wanted me, and how good she made me feel… And then one day she contacted me again and asked to see me. And I’m only human, Kip. I was lonely, and I know it sounds pathetic and childish and makes me an arsehole, but I was angry with Chloe for not wanting me, and for not taking my needs into acco
KipAfter my long phone call with Penny, I send a text to Sam, the pilot of the Knight Sky, then take my laptop out onto the deck and spend half an hour browsing and jotting down some notes until the doorbell goes. I answer it to find Craig standing there. To my relief, there’s no sign of Renée. I’m tempted to say, ‘So she let you out on your own, then?’ but I manage to restrain myself.“Jesus,” he says, staring at my eye, “what happened to you?”“Don’t ask,” I reply wryly. “Come in.” I stand back and let him pass, close the door, and follow him down the steps. “You want a coffee?”He shrugs. “Okay.”I take it as a sign that he’s planning to stay at least long enough to have a drink, and turn on the machine. “Thanks for coming,” I say as I start the espresso pouring. “I wasn’t sure you’d agree to it.” I glance at him. “Was Renée okay with you coming?” I’m genuinely curious, as I was convinced she’d arrive with him.He sits on one of the barstools and scratches at a mark on the counter.
He puts his arm around her. “It’s amazing,” he says softly. “Thank you.” The last ounce of resentment has vanished from his eyes.“They’re lovely gifts,” Mum tells me. “Well done.”One of the babies—Liam, I think, because he’s wearing red—stirs in the cot, waving his tiny fists in the air.“Can I pick him up?” I ask, and Catie wipes her eyes and nods..“Of course.”I lift the baby out and walk beneath the umbrella so he doesn’t have the sun in his eyes.“Hey, little fella,” I murmur, and he looks up at me with his big blue eyes. He smells sweet, of milk and talcum powder, and when I stroke his cheek with a finger, he grabs it and tries to suck it. I chuckle and look at Saxon, who’s watching me with a smile.I feel a huge swell of relief. It’s the first step to putting things right with the people I love, and it feels damn good.I just hope I can do something similar with Craig and Alice.*I stay for another hour, drinking my coffee and chatting to my family. Then, just before midday,
KipI read it several times, then send it.It’s time to head over to my parents’ house. Dad bought each of us a breathalyzer when we were younger so we could make sure we weren’t over the limit after a few drinks. I haven’t used it for a while as I don’t tend to drink at all when I’m driving, but I take it out of the cupboard and blow into it, relieved to find I’m well under.Taking the presents with me, I get into the Merc and head out into the sunny morning.When I pull up at the house, Saxon’s Aston is already there, gleaming in the sunshine. I pick up the parcels and make my way inside, my stomach fluttering. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the need to apologize for bad behavior.As I pass the kitchen I see Mum there, talking to Pamela as they load a tray with cups of coffee. They both look over as I stop and walk in. Pamela gives a wry smile, and Mum gives me a look that says, ‘What am I going to do with you?’“Morning,” I say, going up to Mum, leaving the parcels on the cou
KipI vomit twice more in the night, but luckily Damon’s there to help me stumble to the bathroom, and to encourage me to drink more water. So when I eventually wake up for real, I feel a tad fragile, but not half as bad as I might have done if he hadn’t been there.I check the time—07:14. The sun is up, flooding the room with pale yellow light. The sky is such a light blue that it’s almost white.The bed next to me is empty, and I can’t hear Damon upstairs.Still no message or calls from Alice, but there are a few others waiting for me. The first is from Damon.Hey bro, I left around two a.m. once you stopped throwing up. Take the Panadol and drink the orange juice, then go apologize to Saxon and Catie and I’m sure you’ll feel better. DThe second is from my father.I’d like to see you here at eleven a.m., kiddo. Make sure you’re not over the limit. Dad xHe hasn’t called me kiddo for years. It’s obviously a reflection of my behavior last night.The third and fourth are from Saxon. The