Chapter Nineteen

Jayden

The night air felt very cold and it was biting, even though it was still very early in the evening. I walked down the sidewalk on the left, hands shoved deep inside my jacket pockets, head down and I was lost in thought. The weight of the night before sat heavily on my chest. I had done it. I had thrown Katherine away like she was nothing, just another notch in the long list of women i hadused to feed my ego. She had been a stepping stone, a way to keep the image of the perfect life intact. But now? She was no longer of use to me. Now, everything was in shambles.

My mind was a simply a jumbled mess, one thought crashing itself onto the next. I had dumped Katherine, fought off any trace of hesitation to end things, but why did it feel like one of the few wrong choices I had ever made? Part of me had expected a bit of relief, but instead, all I felt was an insatiable bitterness, gnawing away at me from the inside out.

Katherine’s father had recently been arrested. It was a scandal, and it should have been satisfying, right? I never really liked the man anyways—always so pompous, so sure of himself, acting like he owned the world just because he had the money. But the arrest wasn’t the triumph he had expected. It wasn’t sweet at all. It only made matters worse. After the humiliation at the anniversary party, now this? Katherine’s life was in ruins, and I couldn’t escape the nagging voice in my head telling me that I had helped push her to the edge.

Then, there was Emilia.

She had once been mine. I ha dher wrapped around my finger. I had controlled her, manipulated her into staying by my side, just like all the other women. But she had escaped me. She had broken free. Now, she was married to Richard Kane, and no matter how much I told myself everything was fine, that I didn’t care, deep down, a part of me wanted to destroy everything 

that bastard Richard had built. But the deeper truth was, it wasn’t just Emilia I had lost. It was power. It was control. And I merely hated the fact that, despite everything I had done, she was out of my reach now. Well if I can't have her, no one else could

By the time I reached the bar, I could feel the anger bubbling under my skin. I was restless, tense, my stomach felt like it was tied in knots. The streets were dim and the sounds of cars and people filling the night air. It was really annoying. But the city noise faded into the background as I pushed through the bar’s firm and heavy doors, the warmth and buzz of the place hitting me just immediately.

I really didn’t care about the atmosphere. I didn’t care about the music. All I cared about right now was simply drowning the thoughts, drowning the pent up frustration. I headed straight to the bar, sitting on the nearest stool, ignoring the friendly banter of the bartender who tried to greet me, I wasn'there for chit chat.

“Something strong,” I muttered, my voice hoarse.

The bartender didn’t ask any questions, just grabbed the bottle and poured. I didn’t even flinch as the glass was placed in front of him. I just downed it in one go.

And then, the memories came flooding in. The memories of Emilia’s face, her smile, the way she had looked at me back then. She had been so trusting, so naive. But now? Now she was practically untouchable. She now belonged to Richard Kane. And that was a part of the problem. Richard Kane had everything a man could ever dream of having power, money, respect and now, Emilia. I couldn’t understand how she had gone from being mine to being... his.

I ordered another drink, this time a whiskey. It burned on the way down, but it didn’t burn enough. It didn’t numb the deep ache in his chest.

After a couple more drinks, the bar around me started to blur. People laughed and shouted, but none of it made an impression on me at all. I was lost in my own spiral of absolute bitterness, self-loathing, and anger. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I had always been in control. But now, I was losing everything. My power, my relationships, everything was slipping through my fingers.

Then, out of nowhere, a guy approached. I had noticed him earlier, some young guy with a wide smile and a bit too much confidence for his own good. He was hitting on some girl at the bar, and when he saw me, he gave him a once-over.

“Hey, man,” the guy said, leaning in. “You’re looking kind of down. I think maybe you should you know, let loose. Take a shot and chillax.”

I looked at him, my mind foggy with alcohol, and the anger surged up once more. Who the hell was this guy? The gall of him, trying to tell me what to do.

The girl the guy was talking to shot me an apologetic look, but I wasn’t exactly in the mood to be nice.

“You better stay the hell away from her,” I snapped, my voice low but venomous.

The guy raised an eyebrow, seemingly amused. “What’s the matter, buddy? You got a problem huh?”

I didn’t even think. The alcohol was clouding my judgment, pushing me past the point of reason. I stood up quickly, shoving the guy’s shoulder, hard. “I said stay the hell away.”

The guy laughed, but that wasn’t a laugh of humor. No, It was a laugh of challenge. And that’s when things went sideways. The next thing I knew, the guy’s fist connected with my jaw, sending me stumbling back. I gripped the edge of the bar, his head spinning as the pain shot through him like an electric current.

“Come on, you want to fight? Then fight,” the guy taunted, stepping toward him.

I wiped my mouth, feeling the sting of the blood trickling from my lip. I was so damn tired of everything. Tired of feeling like I had to prove my all the time. But the guy wasn’t done at all. Before I could react, another punch landed in my stomach, knocking the wind out of me. My knees buckled, and I hit the floor real hard, my vision blurring.

The bartender rushed over, yelling at the guy to leave, and a few other patrons helped drag me off the floor. But all I could do was laugh bitterly. This was his my now. Simply beaten and broken.

After a few minutes, I stumbled to my feet, swaying slightly, still dazed. I wasn’t going to let this bother me—this was just the reality of where I was now.

Walking home was a slow, painful process. Every step felt like an eternity. My thoughts weren’t any clearer than they had been before, but something about the physical pain grounded me. As I trudged down the sidewalk, the city lights blurred, their brightness mixing with the fog in my brain.

This was the life I had built. Empy and utterly slone. I have been chasing after power, after control, and now I was left with nothing. And now that whore Emilia was gone, married to Richard. I had thrown Katherine aside like a piece of trash that she honestly is and now she was probably drowning in the mess she had helped create.

But as much as I hated it, he couldn’t ignore the bitter truth.

It was then that a voice pulled my from my spiraling thoughts. A woman standing on her balcony, in the apartment next to mine, called out to me, “Hey, Jayden, you okay?”

I looked up, squinting to see her face in the dim light. It was one of his neighbors. She’d always been flirtatious, always giving me these sideways glances when they crossed paths in the building.

“You look like you could use some company,” she said, her voice teasing. “Want to come over?”

I felt the bitterness swell in mr once more, thanks to her, but this time, it wasn’t aimed at my. It was aimed at everything. At everything Katherine had ruined. I needed something to fill the emptiness, something to make me feel alive again.

Without saying a word, I nodded, walking toward her door. I didn’t care about the consequences anymore. I didn’t care about what was right or wrong. All I cared about was the fleeting escape, the temporary satisfaction of forgetting everything.

And so, I entered her apartment, knowing that tomorrow would bring nothing but more pain, more regret. But for now, in the moment, it was all I had left.

But as the door clicked shut behind me, deep down, I knew it wasn't going to be enough. Nothing ever would be.