CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 2

"So, you're telling me that you're pregnant?" Nanlalaki ang mga mata at nakakunot ang noo'ng tanong ni Franz. Hindi ko alam kung tuluyan na ba niyang napo-proseso sa isip niya ang mga sinabi ko, pero mukha namang oo. Her face looked... scandalized right now.

And yes, I am freaking pregnant. Almost two months pregnant na nga at kamakailan ko lang nalaman. Hindi ko na talaga matiis na magpa-check up lalo na nong mapansin kong sobrang gana ko nang kumain. Hindi ko mapigilan at nag-aalala ako dahil may runways ako. Hindi naman ako pwedeng rumampa ng malaki ang tiyan dahil sa bilbil. Palagi rin akong inaantok at mabilis mairita. Sa umaga, bawat pag-gising ko ay nasusuka talaga ako which is weird. 

Buong akala ko pa noong una ay mamatay na ako, and those signs are a warning for me. But no, I am not dying at all. Napunlaan lang pala ng sanggol sa loob ng tiyan.

I was so ignorant, really. Hindi ko rin naalala na hindi na pala ako dinadatnan dahil halos lunurin ko na ang sarili ko sa trabaho para lang makalimutan ko 'yong nangyari sa gabing iyon. And I regret ignoring the signs. Ngayon ay mas mahihirapan na akong sabihin sa management ang tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko at pati na rin kina Mommy at Daddy.

How would Mom and Dad react on this? Fuck. They'll get angry, probably. Sino ba naman ang matutuwa kung malaman mong buntis ang anak mo ng walang boyfriend, kahit man lang iyong rumored, at hindi pa kilala ang Ama ng bata. 

Walang matutuwang magulang sa ganoong klaseng sitwasyon.

"Are you serious, Amberleigh? With whom? I mean, I didn't know you have a boyfriend! Oh God!" Halos ihilamos na ni Franz ang kaniyang kamay sa sariling mukha. "Or were you hiding and pretending all along?! You kept your boyfriend a secret? Ganoon ba?" Napatayo ito sa kaniyang kinauupuan at dinuro ako nang nakakunot na ang noo. "How could you hide such thing to me, Amber? I'm your friend! My God! And what are we gonna do now? You're going to quit... modelling?"

I bit my lower lip as I signalled her to sit down. I was glad that she slightly calmed down and took her seat again.

My job, yeah. I almost forgot about it. The job that I so much love despite the controversies and issues that I might get from it. 

Noon, iwas na iwas ako na magka-issue dahil alam kong hindi madaling lusutan o linisin ang pangalan mo lalo na kapag nasa showbusiness ka. Pero ngayong buntis ako, alam kong magiging isang malaking kontrobersya ito, at inaasahan ko na kaagad na hindi ito kailanman magiging isang madaling laban.

"I don't know." Mahinang saad ko at umiling pa. That's the truth. I really don't know what to do right now. As much as I wanted to curse the stranger who... impregnated me, I couldn't. Dahil alam ko sa sarili kong pareho kaming hindi ganoon kalasing noong may nangyari sa amin at nang magising ako ay hindi ko rin naman pinagsisihan ang nangyari. We both know what we did. I just didn't think of the possible consequences that much. I was too drowned with him, especially with his touches and kisses.

At kailangan kong gampanan ang resulta ng nagawa ko. Kahit mag-isa ako ay okay lang. Palalakihin ko ng mag-isa ang bata. Iyong tipong hindi niya hahanapin sa akin ang Ama niya.

"Jesus Christ, Amberleigh Zoella. Hindi ba uso sa inyo ang raincoat? How can you be so careless? Hindi mo ba naisip ang career mo? My God! Hindi mo pa natatapos ang contract mo! How would Clar react on this? She would probably go berserk!" 

She was talking about my manager. I don't know how Clar would react but, I know that it won't be that bad. Kilala ko ang manager ko. Maaaring madi-disappoint siya pero hindi iyong tipong kamumuhian niya ako.

"And your family? Alam na ba ni Tito at Tita ang tungkol dito...?" I pouted and shook my head. Mahina akong natawa nang makita ang problemadong-problemado niyang mukha. 

Siya pa ang mukhang mas nai-istress ngayon kaysa sa akin. Nakaupo lang naman ako dito habang kumakain, at siya naman ay malapit nang tumayo, mag-dabog at paminsan-minsang sinasabunutan ang sarili.

"And why the hell are you laughing, you pregnant brat?! You think this is funny?!" Mahina nitong asik sa akin, still very cautious with our surroundings. Baka kasi ay May makarinig sa amin.

"It's just funny how you look so stressed out about my situation while I am just chillin' here." 

"Seriously, Amberleigh," Malakas itong bumuntong-hininga at dumukwang papalapit sa akin. "You are going to pay big for this. You are a model and you aren't done with your contract yet, so you should really expect the worst."

Malakas akong napabuntong-hininga at sumeryoso ang mukha. "Of course. I know that. I am willing to pay just so I can get out of here. Malaking eskandalo 'to and I don't want to be stressed out with that. Masama sa baby. So, I'd rather leave and sacrifice my career, than being stressed out and let the baby be unhealthy." 

Kung ako, okay lang naman. But I don't want other people to start judging my baby. I don't want the baby to feel unwanted. Hindi pa nga siya naipa-panganak, bibigyan ko na kaagad siya ng problema. 

"You love your baby?" Franz asked. Her face softened.

I smiled and nodded. "Of course. Anak ko e." 

Franz smiled sweetly at me. Her dimples showed on each side of her cheeks. "You'd be a great mother, Ambz. I'm so proud of you."

My heart warmed at her words. I hope so. I really hope that I will be a good mother to my child too.

I gently caressed my tummy. My bump isn't showing yet, but I can feel it. I can feel the new life forming inside me and it's making me cry already. I know this will be a hard journey for the both of us, but I am hoping for nothing but only the best... for her or him.

***

Pinisil ko ang aking kamay at kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi ng ilang beses. My father is sitting formally on his swivel chair, while he's staring at me intently. My mother is behind him, holding my father's shoulder like she's stopping him from doing something.

I gulped as I let out a loud deep breath.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanila ito, pero mas mabuti kung malaman nila ang tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko bago pa man ako umalis ng Pilipinas. 

"What is it, darling?" Mom asked me. Mas lalo lang akong pinagpawisan ng titigan ako ng mariin ni Daddy. Kahit na nakabukas ang aircon dito sa home office ni Daddy ay pakiramdam ko ay pinagpapawisan pa rin ako ng malamig.

I am nervous. Hindi naman yata iyon maiiwasan, but I gotta say what I have to say. 

I bit my lower lip and sighed. "Mom, Dad, I'm-"

"-Pregnant you say?" 

My eyes widened as my jaw dropped when my father interrupted me. Mommy gasped. She even covered her mouth with her hands like she was truly shock.

I blinked my eyes multiple times as I stared at my father with pure awe, but he stared at me coldly. I pouted.

Kung paano nalaman ni Daddy ay hindi ko rin alam. Ang alam ko lang ay si Franz ang una kong sinabihan tungkol sa sitwasyon ko, at kanina lamang iyon!

"H-how did you know, Daddy?" Mahina kong tanong, bahagyang nanginginig.

He just smirked at me. He held my mother's hand before he kissed it sweetly. 

"Because you're fat?"

My eyes narrowed. "Dad!"

"What? I am your father, Amberleigh Zoella! And there's no way in hell that I wouldn't know about your stupid actions. I always have you followed every time you go somewhere for your own protection! One of my men didn't elaborate what you did that night, but I was already expecting something even before."

I stared at my Dad with nothing but total disbelief in my face. No way! He had me followed! That only means he knew what I did, but didn't confront me?

"B-but...you didn't stop me from—doing the deed?" 

My Dad laughed sarcastically before glaring at me. "Why would I meddle with that, Amber? You're already a grown woman. Sure, you're still my Princess, but there are things that I couldn't stop you from doing anymore. And I thought you'd do it with protection, you brat! You're so careless!" Dad slapped his forehead, shaking his head in the process.

Nakagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi.

Dahil sa sinabi ni Daddy, pakiramdam ko ay nawala ang mabigat na pasanin sa balikat ko, lalo na sa inaakto niya ngayon. He doesn't look mad at all. He's just... well, my fathers weird, kaya hindi na rin ako magtataka talaga.

Although, I didn't expect this kind of reaction from him, sa kabila no'n ay masaya ako at hindi siya nagalit ng sobra.

He's always strict, firm, and cold. Kaya hindi ko talaga ini-expect na ganito lang ang reaksyon niya. Some father would probably freak out, or worst itatakwil ang mga anak nila, ikakahiya, but my father just....scolded me like I just broke a freakin' glass. That's just it.

Oh, my father, I just broke my hymen and now I'm pregnant. How could you react like that? 

Mommy stayed silent, but I can see the excitement swirling in her eyes when she looked at me. I smiled softly at her and she only winked, like she was silently telling me that what I did made her really proud.

Oh, my Mom. Isa pa itong napaka-suportado sa akin sa lahat ng bagay.

Biglang sumeryoso ang mukha ni Daddy bago nagsalita. Medyo kinabahan ako doon.

"I want you to leave the country as soon as possible, Zoella. I don't want you to stay here while the news is fucking popping out. You'd probably be stressed out. You'll stay in US for as long as you want. You'll stay away from your social life. Log it all out. Deactivate. Delete if possible. You can't contact anyone. Not even your friends. You get that? It's for your safety, anak. Baka kung malaman ng mga reporter na nasa US ka ay baka puntahan ka lang at kuyugin."

That was the last thing that he said. Nang sumapit ang hapon ay tinulungan naman ako ni Daddy na iimpake ang mga gamit ko.

Napanguso ako habang naiiyak ang mata habang pinapanood si Daddy na pinapasok ang mga damit ko sa loob ng maleta. Naiiyak ako hindi dahil sa kaalamang gusto niya akong paalisin, kundi sa kadahilanang kahit may mali akong nagawa, imbes na parusahan ako, heto siya, inaalala pa rin ang kalagayan ko. My safety is still his first priority.

"I love you, Daddy." Hindi ko na napigilan ang mapahagulhol. Napahinto ito at kaagad na napatingin sa akin na nakaupo lang sa gilid ng kama, pinapanood siya.

Mariin siyang pumikit bago inilahad sa akin ang dalawang kamay. "Come here, my bratty Princess." I cried even more when I heard his nickname for me.

Dahan-dahan naman akong lumapit sa kaniya bago siya niyakap ng mahigpit. He hugged me back as he caressed my back gently. Pinapatahan at kinakalma ako mula sa pag-iyak.

"I love you too, my princess. Daddy loves you so much, okay? No matter what you do. I will always be here to support you, hmm? Get that? I am doing this for you and my grandchild. Sana ay huwag mong masamain at isipin na pinapalayas kita dahil natatakot akong mapahiya o kung ano pa. Hindi ganoon, anak. Pinapaalis kita, dahil ayaw kong sirain ka ng mga tao dito sa Pilipinas na wala namang naging ambag sa buhay mo. I am protecting you and your child. That's my responsibility as your father and a grandfather too. Kahit anong mangyari, uunahin at uunahin ko pa rin ang pamilya ko."

I sniffed. Ibinaon ko ang aking mukha sa dibdib ni Daddy at doon humagulgol ng malakas.

"Y-you are always protecting me, even before. Lagi mo akong kinokonsente kaya nagagalit sayo si Mommy." Sumisinok pa ako habang sinasabi iyon.

"Hindi kita kinokonsente. I am just letting you enjoy the things that I didn't get to experience when I was a kid. And now, I am doing this, I am protecting you, hindi dahil kinokonsente kita. May mali ka, oo, pero anak kita. Naiintindihan mo ba? Anak kita kaya gagawin ko pa rin ang lahat, maprotektahan ka lang mula sa mga taong sisira sayo. Just like what I always said, you will always be my Princess. And I will do anything to protect mt Princess' peace." He made me face him before wiping the tears off my face. "Now, you have to leave and let Daddy fix the rest for you, hmm?"

Crying, I nodded.