The dream

I still remember the smell of rain, the feeling of being completely immersed in it.

I keep telling myself that I need to escape, that I have to leave, but my body doesn't move. I feel the heartbeat slowing down, it will stop as slow as it's going.

Then suddenly I hear a voice calling me, whispering my name.

"Isaac, come to me, I can give you what you want. You just need to reach out, you just need to truly want me."

"What are you?"

"Don't you remember me, Isaac?"

It's not raining anymore, and I find myself in the house where I grew up. The feeling of danger keeps rising, every cell in my body wants to disappear.

"I hate this place," I say out loud.

"Why do you hate this place, Isaac? It seems to me like you're laughing, don't you think?"

I hear the laughter of children running, they must be my friends, but they sound more like cries. The sound gets louder, it's unbearable.

"Take me away from here, please."

"What troubles you, Isaac?"

"I don't want to hear, I don't want to hear."

"Okay, my little one, you won't hear anything anymore."

It happened again, I had that nightmare again. I'm in my room staring at the ceiling, all sweaty, as if I fought with my mind.

Maybe I should just reach out.

A sudden noise makes me lucid enough to realize that I have to go to university.

I drag myself to the bathroom and light a cigarette. I always promise myself that I'll quit smoking after this year. I wonder if it will really happen.

I go downstairs to leave the house; the mirror near the door reflects a zombie with huge dark circles. It perfectly reflects how I feel right now. I often felt like my body was walking on its own.

I open the car door and head to the university, fortunately not far from my home.

There's always a crowd, and I'll never get used to the confusion. It hurts my head too much; I already want to leave.

Every morning, the same story. It takes me at least five minutes to decide to clock in to enter. This is because my mind likes to play tricks on me.

I hear that voice calling my name again. What the heck is happening to me? Am I going crazy?

I start hearing my heartbeat slowing down again; I can't move. I see people's faces fading away; something inside me wants to come out. "I feel it."

A man approaches me, but I can't see his face. It's not the first time it happens; with each heartbeat, he gets closer. I want to scream, but I know I can't. I have to stay still.

"Isaac, I'm glad to see you. Are you okay?"

I stare at him for a while before stammering.

"Yes, Professor Banner."

"I see that, once again, you didn't sleep well."

"Yeah."

"Are you taking the sleeping pills, Isaac?"

"Yes."

I don't like lying to the professor, but I don't want him to worry about me.

The class has started, but my mind is elsewhere. "Why can't I concentrate?" I hear a whistle from the window; I turn and see a girl standing in the courtyard with wet clothes. "It's not real, or maybe it is." I don't know what to do. Now my heartbeat races as if it's telling me to leave the room, "maybe for once, I should follow what my instinct tells me."

I raise my right hand to get the professor's attention, who seems absorbed in his explanation. I cough slightly to make myself noticed. Maybe I coughed too loudly; now everyone is staring at me, expecting something great from me, maybe a speech related to the lesson. But what could I say if I haven't followed the lesson for even a minute? My brain was too busy wandering.

Once I'm out, I hear the children's laughter again. I want it to stop. Like an idiot, I start running to the car, get in, and start the engine. I look in the rearview mirror, see a shadow sitting in the back seat. A shiver runs through my whole body. I look at the door; the instinct to get out of the car is strong, but something stops me, my usual questions. Is this my car? Where am I going? Why is everything happening to me? But the real question is why do I keep asking them since the universe doesn't give me answers.

I close my eyes to gather the courage to say something, but when I open them, it's gone. A sigh of relief fills my lungs. I stand still, staring at the steering wheel for a few minutes; somehow, my brain had to make logical sense of what was happening.

I go home; strange things have happened. Who was that girl? What was that shadow? I would like to investigate, but I'm too tired. I need to sleep a little, but I'm afraid of having that nightmare again. It feels like I'm fighting with my mind.

I take my usual book of poems and start reading. Unbeknownst to me, my eyes start to close; I can't resist, I fall asleep.

I feel someone touching me, who are you?

"Does it really matter, Isaac?"

That voice... always the same, I'm back in this nightmare.

"Isaac, come to me..."

Something tells me not to trust, yet I feel like I know that voice.

I want to understand who it is; I want to get to the bottom of it.

"Tell me who you are?"

"I see that you're finally taking initiative, don't you remember me at all, my little one?"

Now you have to wake up, or you'll stay here forever.

"What does that mean?"

I find myself in the middle of my living room, talking to myself. Today is really a beautiful day.

The phone rings; it's Jimmy, my best friend. He studies screenplay with me, but he's much better than me.

"Hi Jimmy, what's up?"

"I hope you're joking; I've been waiting for you for hours to record the short film."

"Hours? But what time is it really?

"It's 18:00 p.m.”

"What?! Are you kidding... Is it really that late?

"Yes, stupid, what's wrong with you?"

"Sorry, I'll be right there."

I find Jimmy with a frown, looking at me very badly.

"Sorry, buddy, I fell asleep."

"I hope you managed to sleep. Rather, how do you feel? They told me you skipped class today."

"Yeah, I managed to sleep."

He is very intuitive and always understands me. Sometimes I think I don't deserve his friendship because what can I give him in return.

"Come on, Isaac, move, the studio is around the corner."

"I'm coming," I continue walking clumsily.

Writing is the only thing I really like; I've always loved it since I was a child. It helps me organize my thoughts that would otherwise be scattered in my head. It gave me a sense of inner peace.

We decide to submit our project, hoping it will be accepted.

"All right, guys, you'll have the answer in a few days."

I look at Jimmy excited; this really makes me happy.

On the way home, we stopped at a pizzer