4. Alpha Asher

Asher’s POV:

I let out an agonizing scream as the pain tore through my frame once more, my senses were on fire and I shuddered as the overwhelming desire to kill and destroy overtook my frame. I knew it was only a matter of time before my Lycan was taking over completely and when that happened there was no telling what would happen as I had no control over that part of me. I had been hoping that I wouldn’t have another episode in a long while especially since my last one had gone on for so long but it seemed like I was nearing the end of the rope.

It was miraculous how I had managed to survive the curse for so long but it didn’t seem like I could hold on for much longer. The growing intensity of the pain and the overwhelming urges were becoming too much to bear and I was losing control of my Lycan faster than was safe for myself and everyone around me.

I had made many mistakes in my lifetime, one of which had happened in my earlier rule as Alpha King, I had felt above the world and had been ruthless and vicious, an act that I was now dearly paying for. The guilt gnawed at my soul, fueling the agony of the curse but there was nothing I could do about it except try with all my strength to hold back my Lycan so he didn’t take control of my body again.

I could still see her face, she had been the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen and in my ruthlessness, I had taken her by force. In my defense, there was no way that I could have known that she was a witch and so it had come as a surprise when after the ordeal I suddenly couldn’t reach my wolf and it felt like the other half of me had completely died.

Only to be replaced by this monster that was currently torturing me. I had never found the girl again, after the night that I had defiled her it felt like she had completely vanished and all that was left was the curse that she had placed.

I could hear Nikolai, my Beta somewhere around the room giving instructions but his voice sounded far away, as if I had been submerged underwater. The air around me felt harder to breathe and my vision started to blur. My body was already starting to transform on its own when I heard Aurora’s voice. Her incantations grew louder and filled the room, slowly pulling me out of my agony and putting an end to the horrible transformation that was about to happen.

As Aurora's voice reverberated through the room, a surge of newfound strength coursed through my veins, pushing back the merciless being that had been on the surface and restoring a semblance of peace to my mind. I could still feel the pain throughout my body, but it was no longer the unbearable agony that it had been moments ago and I eventually gained control of my body once more.

The room was bath in silence for several minutes with only the sound of my harsh breathing filling the space but eventually, the seer cleared her throat.

“Are you okay?” Aurora asked, I noted the distance that she kept between us and although I understood her reason, it still hurt my heart that the darkness that lived within me had made me such a monster that everyone except Nikolai avoided me like a plague, or at least always kept a distance whenever they had to be around me.

“For now, yes. I can still feel him roaming restlessly but I think he’ll stay put for now.” I responded, my voice hoarse from the screaming earlier.

She approached me carefully, offering me a vial that contained a concoction of some sort. I was used to it now and didn’t question it, instead, I tossed it’s content to the back of my throat, hissing when the bitter liquid came in contact with my tongue. I immediately felt a lot better once I took the mixture and I could see the relief flash in the seer’s eyes.

“Thank you, Aurora,” I said as softly as I could and the older woman only nodded her head but she didn’t leave as I expected to, instead she shuffled beside me like she had something more to say.

I waited patiently for her to speak but when she only continued to shuffle nervously beside me, and I grew curious about what she was withholding.

“Is there a problem?” I asked and she quickly shook her head, looking in the direction of Nikolai as if asking for help before looking my way again, and the action confused and annoyed me at the same time.

“I would like to go to bed now, so if you don’t have anything else to say then get out,” I called impatiently, wincing when the older woman flinched at my harsher tone.

“I don’t think these concoctions or spells would hold your Lycan for much longer Alpha.” She finally said, and a frown painted my face at her words.

I knew it was the truth, the episodes were happening too frequently now and they were getting more intense, making it harder to keep control of my Lycan side.

“So… what are you saying?”

“Maybe y-you m-might want to c-consider the other option?” She said and the rage that tore through me at her words was tempered only by the Beta pulling her away before I could reach out to grab her.

“That would be all for now Aurora. Thank you for your help.” Nikolai quickly dismissed and the woman was more than happy to scurry out of my presence.

Once the door was shut behind her, Nikolai settled by my bedside, and from the look my Beta was giving me, I knew what his next words would be.

“You know she’s right.” He said and the softness in his tone did nothing to appease my anger.

“I don’t care. I don’t want to even hear it. I’m not doing it and that’s final. If you’re about to try convincing me, don’t. Get out of my room before you make me lose my temper.” I barked at him but he barely flinched.

“For how long do you think you can continue? Can you imagine if I had not gotten to you in time and summoned Aurora tonight what would have happened? Have you forgotten what happened the last time your Lycan took contr-“

“Of course, I haven’t fucking forgotten Nikolai, you don’t have to remind me of the event. It’s not my proudest moment and I live every day of my life regretting it!” My voice trembled with anger as memories of that dreadful period flooded back.

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to trigger you, I’m only trying to help Asher. You need to do it, I know it’s the last thing that you want to do but if there’s a chance that it would work, if there’s a chance that it would get rid of the curse and reunite you with your wolf, wouldn’t you want to take it even if you don’t want to do it?” Nikolai asked and I slumped against the frame of the bed that I was propped against. His words struck a chord deep within me, stirring up a mixture of realization and resentment.

“How the hell am I supposed to find a virgin white omega werewolf that would want to have my child? Everyone sees me as a monster and maybe I am so who in their right mind would want to share a bed with me and then give me a child? What if it doesn’t work eventually? What if I never find a compatible wolf or worse I find one, get her pregnant and then I end up passing the gene? That’s a chance I don’t want to take. If I have a child, there’s a fifty percent chance they would be Lycan and live as a monster all their life. That’s a curse no one deserves.”

“There’s also a fifty percent chance that they don’t become Lycan. Aren’t you willing to take the risk? If your Lycan takes over, it’s doom for all of us. If there’s a chance that you can find a virgin white omega wolf that is compatible and can have a child that could break this curse. Wouldn’t you want to take it? Put yourself out of this misery?” Nikolai said softly.

It wasn’t the first time I had heard the proposal and just like the first time, it sounded selfish and just far-fetched. There were just so many things wrong with it. Since the curse, I had not slept with another woman. Aside from the obvious reasons, my biggest fear was producing another Lycan but according to Aurora producing a child with the right wolf would completely break the curse. I didn’t like the sound of it, I didn’t think I could see it through too but I knew that I had to try. For the sake of everyone, I had to try.

“Good luck finding a virgin white omega wolf,” I said the resignation in my tone was clear.

“Really? You’d do it?” I hated the excitement in my Beta’s voice but I knew that it was time.

“You’re doing all the work though. You know how difficult it is to find a white omega. Now get out of my room and let me sleep. This damn concoction is starting to kick in.”

“You won’t have to lift a finger, I promise. I’ll start the search immediately and I’ll get the best white omegas every pack has to offer as soon as possible. You’ll have a perfect match as soon as possible.” He promised excitedly and I hummed in response.

With a tired sigh, I buried myself under the soft quilt and shut my eyes. The sound of Nikolai leaving the room lulled me to sleep. Two thoughts lingered on my mind as I fought the sleep that threatened to overtake me.

I didn’t want to share my bed with another woman. Ever again, the last time had left me traumatized and had left an ugly scar behind. I wasn’t looking forward to it happening again.

But on the other hand, I didn’t want to lose control again to my Lycan and destroy half the world in uncontrollable rage.

I knew that this was going to be difficult and I silently prayed to the Goddess that whatever happened, it didn’t all end in tragedy.