Not My Alpha

“Keira , I just want to say how happy we all are that Dawson has found his mate. And how perfect you both are for each other.” Luna Bethany says with her sickly sweet smile. She raises her glass to cheers the two of them. The Luna is Dawson’s mother, and they have that weird over-attached mommy son relationship. It always gave Keira the creeps.

“Thank you so much. You all have been so warm and welcoming.” Keira says making sure to come off as genuine. She notices Dawson pouring himself another drink, this makes his sixth drink of the night. Dawson sees her glance and pours a little more out of spite. Keira looks away quickly hoping Dawson will forget the whole thing, but Keira is never that lucky.

When dinner is over, Dawson stops Keira on her way into the livingroom, letting everyone go before them

“Come with me.” He practically growls in her ear. He takes a firm grip on her arm and drags her upstairs to their bedroom. He locks the door before turning to her with rage in his eyes.

“You think I didn’t notice that look you gave me?” Dawson growls. He walks heavy steps towards Keira and she recoils backwards putting her hands up in defense.

“I didn’t give you any look.” She pleads while looking for an escape.

Dawson grabs Keira by the throat and pins her against the wall, knocking the back of her head against it.

“If you want to say something, then just say it.” Dawson says through clenched teeth. He tightens his grip around her neck. Keira is struggling to breathe. She can smell the strength of the alcohol on his breath. She claws at his hand trying to get free.

“Say it!” He shouts, spraying spit onto Keira’s face.

“Nothing. I wasn’t going to-“ Keira continues to struggle to speak. Dawson lifts her off the ground and slams her head into the wall again. Keira whimpers under her mates grip. He leans into her, his scent surrounding her. His scent used to bring her comfort, but right now she feels nothing but fear. She doesn’t know when it got so bad and why, but she knew she hated herself for being so weak. Then Keira’s savior, a knock at the bedroom door, interrupts Dawson’s cruel ritual.

“Go to the bathroom.” He demands after he releases her. Keira crumbles to the floor and takes a moment to breathe. He walks to the door and Keira rushes to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Dawson opens it to his future Beta, Harrison.

“Alpha, is everything ok?” He asks. Harrison and Dawson have been best friends their entire lives. They grew up in the pack together, and they knew they’d be Alpha and Beta one day. And that day is coming up soon. Dawson is set to be the new Alpha now that he’s found his mate. Keira is beautiful and smart, her parents are Betas which will be good for their kids.

“Yeah man were good. Sorry, we were just having a disagreement.” Dawson rubs the back of his neck.

“Ok man, just take it easy on her. She’s only been here a few months.” Harrison knew Dawson had a dark side, but Keira’s his mate, that bond is different. Right?

“Yeah I know. Let me go play damage control.” They smile at each other and Dawson closes the door. He walks to the bathroom door and knocks gently.

“Keira, I’m sorry. Please open up. I’m really sorry.” Dawson stands outside the door. Keira is inside debating what to do. She looks at her neck and can tell there will be a bad bruise there tomorrow. If she opens the door, he could attack her again, but if she doesn’t he could get mad and break it down. She decides her best action is to avoid making Dawson upset. She gently opens the door and she sees Dawson standing there looking sad and regretful. Keira hides the disgust she’s feeling about his charade, and walks forward into the embrace of her mate.

When Keira first arrived to the pack as Dawson’s mate, things were great. They got to know each other. Dawson showered her with love and attention, they spent every night together, and Keira was blissful and serene as she pictured her idyllic future. Keira remembers thinking this is what mates should be. But it wasn’t long before she started noticing the drinking. It was only a few drinks here and there, and everyone had a few drinks. But each day it got worse and worse. When Dawson drinks he’d get more aggressive with her and others. No one in the pack said anything about it, so she didn’t think too much of it. After all Keira was busy learning about her new pack, getting introduced to the pack members, and figuring out what her new role in the pack will be. Dawson’s parents were very nice, warm, and welcoming, along with the rest of the pack. His father the Alpha was a bit hard on Dawson, but most Alphas are like that. She notices the Alpha drinks quite a bit also. Keira was so excited for her new life, that in the beginning she was willing to over look a few things. But as time went on things only got worse.

“Please, can we go to bed. I’m sorry.” Dawson asks her and holds out his hand. Dawson doesn’t want to fight with his mate, but sometimes when she looks at him, like he’s a disappointment to her, just like his father does, he loses control. His wolf is very strong and sometimes creeps out. Keira takes his hand and he leads her to bed. Dawson tries the kiss and make up tactic. And thanks to the mate bond, it’s hard for Keira to say no. His scent calms her and his soft touch tingles against her skin, sending waves of desire through her. This is her mate after all. Maybe they can make it through this together. Keira’s wolf Harper purrs in the delight of her mates touch. After they are done having make up sex, Keira can’t help but feel disgusted with herself. This man hurts her, and she is willing giving her body to him? She is ashamed, she knows she is stronger than this. But with her feeling of regret Keira also feels guilt. Guilty because everyone searches for their fated mate. Some never find them, the lucky ones do. But she doesn’t feel so lucky now. She lays in the bed until she hears Dawson fall asleep. Once she hears his repetitive snore, she slides out of bed and into the bathroom. She keeps the light off, so it won’t wake him. She crawls into the bath tub and silently cries. She doesn’t know how her life got this way. She feels trapped by the bond and scared of the day that there won’t be a knock at the door to save her.