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Chapter 27: Coming of Age
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Not Like Me Chapter 28: Birthday Virgin
The evening of my party has arrived. It's a simple party. Kyle sneaks vodka into the house. Stephanie wears her typical black attire. Her nails have ghosts on them and glow in the dark. Our post-Halloween birthday party is a success. Brittany comes into her basement. She finds me. We haven't spoken in weeks. She hands me a present. It's a gift card. We only give gift cards when we don't know what the other person likes. Have I become that much of a stranger? "Thanks for the gift card. I'll buy new shoes with it. I need some boots for winter.""You're welcome. And about the night I...well, Kyle dumped me. I'm sorry about that. I wasn't thinking. And the things you said, as harsh as they were...were right. I am controlling. I know that. I'm sorry to hear about you and Aiden. Are you doing okay?" I'm not sure why Brittany is apologizing to me. Clearly, it should be the other way around. I've been a horrible friend to her, and I know it. So I go in for a hug. "I'm sorry, too. I should
Not Like Me Chapter 29: The Truth Comes Out
Waking up next to the man I love is what it must feel like for my parents. They're lucky to see each other every morning. It's like they've grown so used to each other that the magic of flirting is stripped away. I hope that never happens to me. People take for granted the beautiful people and things that are right in front of them. It's only when they're gone that we realize they were critical in the first place. My friendship with Brittany is restored. Not to its former glory, I'm afraid. Even though we're on speaking terms, we won't see eye to eye when it comes to my love life. Zander rolls over and spoons me. I feel safe under his arm. I feel protected like nothing can harm me. Zander's parents aren't back yet, and this I'm grateful for. The entire neighborhood heard the un-holiness of our nightly shenanigans. Given our last conversation, my parents must suspect something by now, or at least my mother does. I can't help who I'm in love with. I can smell Zander's scent all over
Not Like Me Chapter 30: High End Business
We arrive at the ballet studio. The door gets bigger each time I come here. Each time I pass through the large golden doors, I don't feel worthy. My injury is an extension of myself. "Hello, Ashley. Who are these people with you today?" Madame asks, helping us open the door."This is Brittany and Stephanie, my best friends. This is Kyle, Brit's boyfriend. And this is Zander, my....my....boyfriend."Madame tilts her head to the side. Three weeks ago, I was at the studio with Aiden. She doesn't know about our breakup and what it did to Aiden. It's none of her business, really, considering I'm only a student and don't have to justify my actions. Madame looks at me with her judgmental eyes. I have seen those eyes before criticizing a whole room of students. But for some reason, it gets to me and makes me feel terrible and humiliated inside. I feel completely exposed to the entire ballet room. There are only four students today, and it's the ten-year-old class, but still. Madame judges m
Not Like Me Chapter 31: Soccer Fields
Monday is here. My birthday is a hazy memory. My weekend was dramatic and ended on a sad note. I lost my virginity and my ballet dreams in one single weekend. Zander didn't take the ballet shoes back with him. He wants me to keep them; I'm not sure why. It's not like I have any use for them. I get out of my bed. My eyes are red and puffy from all the crying I did last night. I didn't want to cry. In a parallel universe somewhere else, I would have spoken with Zander on the phone all night. The ballet shoes are under my bed. I put them in my backpack. I'm not sure what good they'll do me at school, but maybe Zander will take them back. The zipper to my backpack gets stuck on Aiden's soccer jersey. Oh yeah, I still need to return his shit to him. We might have broken up, but I still can return his belongings to him. I put on my usual t-shirt and jeans. I don't make a fuss over myself. Sex didn't make me hot. It didn't make me a goddess. I was delusional when I thought sex would solve
Not Like Me Chapter 32: Triggering a Secret
The second period is over. Science is not my best subject, and dissection would make anyone want to vomit. I don't see what's so great about killing an innocent animal and carving its insides in the name of science. It's barbaric and disgusting.I'm angry they kill animals and make me locate their organs. Brandon Thornton was breathing down my neck all last hour. It was creepy. I'm glad the class is over and done with. Thank the stars. I turn the corner and see him, all by himself, Aiden Buckland. I miss my friend. There's nothing wrong with missing friends. I'm not ready to give him his stuff back. If I hold out long enough, maybe we can be friends. Maybe, he'll forgive me, and returning his stuff will be symbolic somehow. "Hello, Aiden!" I wave awkwardly. He waves at me. He doesn't smile or seemed thrilled. "What do you want?"He crosses his arms, indicating he is not happy to see me. Body language always speaks louder to me than anything else. He crosses arms meaning I'm unwelco
Not Like Me Chapter 33: Mothers and Daughters
Leaving the ballet studio is hard. Madame has revealed a hard truth to me. Her life is not all cupcakes and rainbows, as I once thought. She wanted me to be in love with her son. That's why the lessons were free. She was making me happy to make Aiden happy. I open the large gold doors of the studio. I know it's not real gold, but I'm still excited to touch it. It's like touching famous people. Maybe their success will rub off on me. Unfortunately, I'll never be that lucky. It would take healing water and a goddess to heal this dumb ankle. I get into Zander's car. I don't have the heart to tell him or anyone the truth. Aiden's truth. I doubt Aiden himself even knows. It's not my place to tell his truth to the world or him. "Thanks for helping me pay, Madame. She can be a bit of a firecracker. I know she's tough. She has to be to run a high-end business in this big town.""You're welcome. Sorry I stormed off. I didn't mean for that to happen. It just did. I know I need to not be so b
Not Like Me Chapter 34: Grumpy Cat
If I aim for the stars, maybe I'll become one. I used to believe that with all my heart. But now I don't know what to believe anymore. It's nighttime, and my parents have gone to bed. They believe that I am an ordinary girl who follows the rules. But I am not shy anymore; I have blossomed into a rose. Roses come with thorns attached. Thorns are there to protect the beautiful flower from losing, from failing. And perhaps my attitude and determination to dance one last time is my version of growing thorns. The clock reads 12:43 am. Zander told me to climb into his bedroom at 1 am. I want to sneak into Zander's room. It's late November; Thanksgiving will be here soon. It's cold as shit outside. I rummage through my belongings and find an ugly Christmas sweater with the 'Grumpy Cat' on it. That will make Zander laugh. I put my jacket on and climb down the window-ladder. I fall off the ladder halfway through. I land on a bush. Being graceful at night is difficult when I'm tired as fuck.
Not Like Me Chapter 35: Ugly Duckling
"Where have you been all night?" Mother repeats with a bit of curiosity in her voice. "Nowhere? I was out...walking around." Way to be and sound convincing. Like mom will ever believe that bullshit response. "Ashley, where were you? The truth." "I was at the Hogans. I wanted to see Brittany. I needed to tell her about my ballet news. And I had something else to tell her about Stephanie." My mother knows I'm telling the truth about being at the Hogans. I told her half the truth. But she already got me to spill about ballet. So I don't need her budding in on another secret of mine. "Mom, can dad take me to school today? I want to pick up some donuts for my friends before school?" I ask. "That's a random idea. You haven't gone with your dad to get donuts for a long time. Is everything okay?" Mom asks. "Yes, I just need a guy's opinion on dating."I have to say something to get her off my case. I won't be sneaking out anymore. Not for a while. I'm pretty sure that when I get home,
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- Not Like Me Chapter 33: Mothers and Daughters
