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Chapter 26: Content
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2022-09-25 07:37:21Related chapters
Not Like Me Chapter 27: Coming of Age
Today is my birthday! I'm sixteen. I already know how to drive. I have a boyfriend to boot. I'm friends with Zander and Stephanie again. I still don't know where Brittany and I stand. But she's coming tonight, so that's all that matters. I get out of bed. I look at my backpack...fuck, it still has Aiden's belongings in it. I need to return those to him at school Monday. I'm glad my birthday is on the weekend. It means I don't have to be lectured to death by my health teacher. Last week, Mr. Boyer tried to assign me a 'robot baby' for this coming weekend. When I told him it was my birthday weekend, he let it slide. Thank heaven. I'm glad I don't have to deal with a robot baby today. I can't imagine what an inconvenience that would be to eat a birthday cake with a crying android infant around. That project has gone down in Stanford High History. You are either good at being a robot-mom, or you aren't. I get that the program's point is to get us not to have sex. I'll humor them for no
Last Updated : 2022-09-25Not Like Me Chapter 28: Birthday Virgin
The evening of my party has arrived. It's a simple party. Kyle sneaks vodka into the house. Stephanie wears her typical black attire. Her nails have ghosts on them and glow in the dark. Our post-Halloween birthday party is a success. Brittany comes into her basement. She finds me. We haven't spoken in weeks. She hands me a present. It's a gift card. We only give gift cards when we don't know what the other person likes. Have I become that much of a stranger? "Thanks for the gift card. I'll buy new shoes with it. I need some boots for winter.""You're welcome. And about the night I...well, Kyle dumped me. I'm sorry about that. I wasn't thinking. And the things you said, as harsh as they were...were right. I am controlling. I know that. I'm sorry to hear about you and Aiden. Are you doing okay?" I'm not sure why Brittany is apologizing to me. Clearly, it should be the other way around. I've been a horrible friend to her, and I know it. So I go in for a hug. "I'm sorry, too. I should
Last Updated : 2022-09-25Not Like Me Chapter 29: The Truth Comes Out
Waking up next to the man I love is what it must feel like for my parents. They're lucky to see each other every morning. It's like they've grown so used to each other that the magic of flirting is stripped away. I hope that never happens to me. People take for granted the beautiful people and things that are right in front of them. It's only when they're gone that we realize they were critical in the first place. My friendship with Brittany is restored. Not to its former glory, I'm afraid. Even though we're on speaking terms, we won't see eye to eye when it comes to my love life. Zander rolls over and spoons me. I feel safe under his arm. I feel protected like nothing can harm me. Zander's parents aren't back yet, and this I'm grateful for. The entire neighborhood heard the un-holiness of our nightly shenanigans. Given our last conversation, my parents must suspect something by now, or at least my mother does. I can't help who I'm in love with. I can smell Zander's scent all over
Last Updated : 2022-09-25Not Like Me Chapter 30: High End Business
We arrive at the ballet studio. The door gets bigger each time I come here. Each time I pass through the large golden doors, I don't feel worthy. My injury is an extension of myself. "Hello, Ashley. Who are these people with you today?" Madame asks, helping us open the door."This is Brittany and Stephanie, my best friends. This is Kyle, Brit's boyfriend. And this is Zander, my....my....boyfriend."Madame tilts her head to the side. Three weeks ago, I was at the studio with Aiden. She doesn't know about our breakup and what it did to Aiden. It's none of her business, really, considering I'm only a student and don't have to justify my actions. Madame looks at me with her judgmental eyes. I have seen those eyes before criticizing a whole room of students. But for some reason, it gets to me and makes me feel terrible and humiliated inside. I feel completely exposed to the entire ballet room. There are only four students today, and it's the ten-year-old class, but still. Madame judges m
Last Updated : 2022-09-25Not Like Me Chapter 31: Soccer Fields
Monday is here. My birthday is a hazy memory. My weekend was dramatic and ended on a sad note. I lost my virginity and my ballet dreams in one single weekend. Zander didn't take the ballet shoes back with him. He wants me to keep them; I'm not sure why. It's not like I have any use for them. I get out of my bed. My eyes are red and puffy from all the crying I did last night. I didn't want to cry. In a parallel universe somewhere else, I would have spoken with Zander on the phone all night. The ballet shoes are under my bed. I put them in my backpack. I'm not sure what good they'll do me at school, but maybe Zander will take them back. The zipper to my backpack gets stuck on Aiden's soccer jersey. Oh yeah, I still need to return his shit to him. We might have broken up, but I still can return his belongings to him. I put on my usual t-shirt and jeans. I don't make a fuss over myself. Sex didn't make me hot. It didn't make me a goddess. I was delusional when I thought sex would solve
Last Updated : 2022-09-26Not Like Me Chapter 32: Triggering a Secret
The second period is over. Science is not my best subject, and dissection would make anyone want to vomit. I don't see what's so great about killing an innocent animal and carving its insides in the name of science. It's barbaric and disgusting.I'm angry they kill animals and make me locate their organs. Brandon Thornton was breathing down my neck all last hour. It was creepy. I'm glad the class is over and done with. Thank the stars. I turn the corner and see him, all by himself, Aiden Buckland. I miss my friend. There's nothing wrong with missing friends. I'm not ready to give him his stuff back. If I hold out long enough, maybe we can be friends. Maybe, he'll forgive me, and returning his stuff will be symbolic somehow. "Hello, Aiden!" I wave awkwardly. He waves at me. He doesn't smile or seemed thrilled. "What do you want?"He crosses his arms, indicating he is not happy to see me. Body language always speaks louder to me than anything else. He crosses arms meaning I'm unwelco
Last Updated : 2022-09-26Not Like Me Chapter 33: Mothers and Daughters
Leaving the ballet studio is hard. Madame has revealed a hard truth to me. Her life is not all cupcakes and rainbows, as I once thought. She wanted me to be in love with her son. That's why the lessons were free. She was making me happy to make Aiden happy. I open the large gold doors of the studio. I know it's not real gold, but I'm still excited to touch it. It's like touching famous people. Maybe their success will rub off on me. Unfortunately, I'll never be that lucky. It would take healing water and a goddess to heal this dumb ankle. I get into Zander's car. I don't have the heart to tell him or anyone the truth. Aiden's truth. I doubt Aiden himself even knows. It's not my place to tell his truth to the world or him. "Thanks for helping me pay, Madame. She can be a bit of a firecracker. I know she's tough. She has to be to run a high-end business in this big town.""You're welcome. Sorry I stormed off. I didn't mean for that to happen. It just did. I know I need to not be so b
Last Updated : 2022-09-27Not Like Me Chapter 34: Grumpy Cat
If I aim for the stars, maybe I'll become one. I used to believe that with all my heart. But now I don't know what to believe anymore. It's nighttime, and my parents have gone to bed. They believe that I am an ordinary girl who follows the rules. But I am not shy anymore; I have blossomed into a rose. Roses come with thorns attached. Thorns are there to protect the beautiful flower from losing, from failing. And perhaps my attitude and determination to dance one last time is my version of growing thorns. The clock reads 12:43 am. Zander told me to climb into his bedroom at 1 am. I want to sneak into Zander's room. It's late November; Thanksgiving will be here soon. It's cold as shit outside. I rummage through my belongings and find an ugly Christmas sweater with the 'Grumpy Cat' on it. That will make Zander laugh. I put my jacket on and climb down the window-ladder. I fall off the ladder halfway through. I land on a bush. Being graceful at night is difficult when I'm tired as fuck.
Last Updated : 2022-09-28
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Not Like Me Chapter 41: The Nutcracker
A week has passed since I broke up with Zander. Aiden and I are in a new relationship, one I intend to keep. Christmas break is almost here, and with it, the opening of the Nutcracker ballet. I know I'm ready. I have studied and have practiced more and more with Madame. My mother has even attended a few of my last minute one on one sessions. She praised me for my comeback. I know it's a small comeback that a seven-year-old could perform...but for someone with an injury, a comeback has so much meaning. I was told I would never dance again that the tumor in my ankle was too vicious to even dance upon. Well, during Christmas break, I will prove them all wrong during my final performance as a ballet dancer. I have other passions now. Thanks to Aiden and art, I have a desire to pursue more things with my whole heart. Madame has heard about my ballet paintings and has agreed to let me sit in the back of the studio to paint her students in action. She plans to decorate the entire ballet s
Not Like Me Chapter 40: The Heat
Aiden and I get ready to leave the cabin. I put my clothes back on to avoid suspicion from my parents. I'm already going to be in trouble with Zander. I don't need to get my parents mixed up in this drama. At least not today. Aiden gets in the car. He puts his sunglasses on. He is wearing his letterman jacket. The name Buckland is in black bold letters on his back. I wonder if that last name means anything to him now that the cat's out of the bag. I can't worry about that now. I'm a nervous Nellie. It's ridiculous, really. But this is Zander we're talking about. The man I shared my first bed with. Did it mean something, right? Did any of it mean anything? Have I just thrown something special away? Aiden parks in the Hogan's driveway. I get out like an embarrassed deer. Brittany and Stephanie open the door. "Hi, Ashley, why are you with Aiden? You're mom called, and I covered for you. I told her you were asleep. Were you with Aiden all night?" Steph asks. "Yes, I was. That's not i
Not Like Me Chapter 39: Truth Be Told
I wake up to the sounds of a crackling fire. It's 4 am, and Aiden is still half-naked and lying next to me. We've had so much sex these last three days, I'm almost convinced Zander and I broke up. But the truth is we aren't. I'm the worst kind of terrible for it. I never wanted to be a cheater. But what am I supposed to do when Aiden loves me and Zander....wanted sex? I go into the kitchen and look around for anything resembling breakfast food. Instead, I find eggs and bacon. Protein it is, then. Clearly, a man went shopping. The only thing I find remotely similar to juice is lemonade. Good enough for me. Aiden wakes up and squints his eyes. He sniffs around the room, wondering why it smells like meat. A true hunter-gatherer if I ever saw one. He's a caveman at heart. "Are you cooking for me?" "Obviously!" "I knew you were perfect, but this is unexpected." He comes over with his shirt off and shorts on. He has the 'I just had sex' smirk on his face. He waltzes about the cabin, f
Not Like Me Chapter 38: Finding Out
I wake up from my post-sex nap. Aiden is still here, holding me. We turn to look at each other. I roll over and lie on his chest. I start kissing him over and over. I don't want this moment with him to end. It's as if I'm trying to make up for the lost time and apologize for my actions. He rolls over and finds himself on top of me again. I admit I'm a confusing girl. But this feeling I have with Aiden is fire. My fire for Zander has gone out, and I know he lied to me. Perhaps I'm horrible for having sex with Aiden now. My parents still haven't come home from work. I'm lucky not to have been caught. "Aiden, can we go to the ballet studio now? I really do need to get this note and x-ray over to Madame." "Sure, give me two more minutes. I want to look at your forever." He looks at my lips and kisses me slowly again. We aren't rushing to leave as I had hoped. Aiden puts himself inside me again as we start having sex a second time. "I love you, Ash. I know you might be confused right
Not Like Me Chapter 37: All Over My Body
Thanksgiving has come and gone. I haven't spoken with Aiden since we kissed in the art wing. I haven't told Zander. I brush it under the rug. Romance is complicated, and I'm caught in the middle of understanding it. I've distanced myself from Zander. He doesn't seem to notice since he's been busy with the holidays. I've texted him, but I've avoided going to his house. He's invited me to his house plenty of times. I've had lots of opportunities to verify Leslie's claims. I know Aiden needs me to find the truth out for myself. He's been honest with me. I know I told him we would speak later. But I feel like I'm lying to Aiden by not telling him the truth about his origins. He's not a Buckland by blood. And he needs to know this. He will find out from me in due time. My phone dings; it's Zander. Zander: Are you coming over? Me: Yes, Brittany and Stephanie, and I are having a sleepover. Zander: Want to come to my room later at night? Me: Of courseZander: Great, see you tonight. I
Not Like Me Chapter 36: Art Room
Dad drops me off at school. The glazed donuts are tucked away safely for my friends. I think we all need a pick me up every once in a while. My friends need me to do something nice for them every once in a while. Zander finds me in the parking lot. He looks perplexed as to why my dad took me to school this morning instead of him."Why are you with your dad?""Because we're related. Are you mad about something?" I ask, confused. "Hmmm...well, let's see. I woke up, and you were gone." "We aren't married, Zander. I needed to get home. And my mom caught me sneaking back into my room at 5:30 am. It wasn't exactly fun for me. Then my dad ended up taking me to a donut breakfast early in the morning. I bought you one. Want one?" I pull out a glazed donut hoping it will change Zander's sour mood. He takes it. He's unimpressed. He sinks his teeth into the donut, and immediately his mood changes. "Are these from Danny's Donut Cafe? We used to go there....""Every Saturday in our pajamas. I
Not Like Me Chapter 35: Ugly Duckling
"Where have you been all night?" Mother repeats with a bit of curiosity in her voice. "Nowhere? I was out...walking around." Way to be and sound convincing. Like mom will ever believe that bullshit response. "Ashley, where were you? The truth." "I was at the Hogans. I wanted to see Brittany. I needed to tell her about my ballet news. And I had something else to tell her about Stephanie." My mother knows I'm telling the truth about being at the Hogans. I told her half the truth. But she already got me to spill about ballet. So I don't need her budding in on another secret of mine. "Mom, can dad take me to school today? I want to pick up some donuts for my friends before school?" I ask. "That's a random idea. You haven't gone with your dad to get donuts for a long time. Is everything okay?" Mom asks. "Yes, I just need a guy's opinion on dating."I have to say something to get her off my case. I won't be sneaking out anymore. Not for a while. I'm pretty sure that when I get home,
Not Like Me Chapter 34: Grumpy Cat
If I aim for the stars, maybe I'll become one. I used to believe that with all my heart. But now I don't know what to believe anymore. It's nighttime, and my parents have gone to bed. They believe that I am an ordinary girl who follows the rules. But I am not shy anymore; I have blossomed into a rose. Roses come with thorns attached. Thorns are there to protect the beautiful flower from losing, from failing. And perhaps my attitude and determination to dance one last time is my version of growing thorns. The clock reads 12:43 am. Zander told me to climb into his bedroom at 1 am. I want to sneak into Zander's room. It's late November; Thanksgiving will be here soon. It's cold as shit outside. I rummage through my belongings and find an ugly Christmas sweater with the 'Grumpy Cat' on it. That will make Zander laugh. I put my jacket on and climb down the window-ladder. I fall off the ladder halfway through. I land on a bush. Being graceful at night is difficult when I'm tired as fuck.
Not Like Me Chapter 33: Mothers and Daughters
Leaving the ballet studio is hard. Madame has revealed a hard truth to me. Her life is not all cupcakes and rainbows, as I once thought. She wanted me to be in love with her son. That's why the lessons were free. She was making me happy to make Aiden happy. I open the large gold doors of the studio. I know it's not real gold, but I'm still excited to touch it. It's like touching famous people. Maybe their success will rub off on me. Unfortunately, I'll never be that lucky. It would take healing water and a goddess to heal this dumb ankle. I get into Zander's car. I don't have the heart to tell him or anyone the truth. Aiden's truth. I doubt Aiden himself even knows. It's not my place to tell his truth to the world or him. "Thanks for helping me pay, Madame. She can be a bit of a firecracker. I know she's tough. She has to be to run a high-end business in this big town.""You're welcome. Sorry I stormed off. I didn't mean for that to happen. It just did. I know I need to not be so b
