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2024-10-29 19:42:56Miyen and the Commodore escorted Silvia and Claudia almost to their plane seats on Tuesday noon, and only four hours later, they were at the Black Rock, having mate. Silvia was still pale and quiet, but insisted she was okay, and Claudia noticed she hardly checked her phone, as if she didn’t expect Jim to try to reach her, and didn’t want to contact him either.
And she didn’t want to. She didn’t need to.
Paola arrived an hour later, to let Claudia go to her house before her dog chewed the whole cottage down to splinters. Silvia’s own dog, that used to roam the streets and showed up only to eat, came with Paola and didn’t leave to walk Claudia home as he used to.
“I’m gonna get rid of you lot and be alone sooner or later,” Silvia said, a little amused. “What d’you think it’s gonna happen then?”
“You’re gonna text him,” Claudia and Paola replied right aw
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No Return The Taste of Broken Glass
“Jim?”Sean knocked again. He’d better be ready, because the lobby was full of reporters. It was Wednesday, their second day in Chile, in between their two concerts in Santiago, and Deborah had decided to spend it on interviews. That way, they would have the whole Friday to rest before the long flight back to LA on Saturday.“Jimbo!” he called, a little louder.He could hear music from inside, but he couldn’t tell what it was. He knocked for the fourth time, already fishing in his pockets for his room card. He heard quick footsteps coming and Jim opened the door, half his face covered in shaving cream.“Dude! I’m fucking shaving! What’s up?”He let his brother in and headed back to the bathroom. Sean paid attention to the music. What on God’s green earth was Jim listening? He found the answer when he approached the laptop open in the middle of the bed. It was something Silvia had sen
No Return One Too Many Firsts
The interviews kept them busy until dinner, and all of them voted to go out later, for a little taste of the Santiago night. Instead of hanging out with the others at the bar until they left, Jim went back to his room. Deborah turned to Sean the moment Jim walked into an elevator, but Sean just shook his head.Yeah, his brother had honored all the commitments she’d scheduled for the day, but he was oddly absentminded, and Sean wasn’t about to explain to Deborah what was in Jim’s mind, keeping him distracted.His little brother had gotten the memo, directing him straight to a tall, sturdy brick wall. Now that he’d found it, Sean knew he would have to watch Jim slam his head against it, time and time again, until the pain and the bruises convinced him it was harder and more real than his own perspective of the situation. Then Jim would most likely break down, and Sean would have to be ready to hold him up.Upstairs, Jim dropped himself on t
No Return Playlist
Going back to work, eating, sleeping, gaming a while with her brother after dinner, drinking gallons of mate, walking with his dog to the bus stop, watching the clouds roll over the lake out the bus window, listening to her chick-hits playlist. Routine was a safe haven that welcomed her back. So that Wednesday midnight, when she got the Hey, Jay! notification, it was somehow just another part of her routine. And she felt strong enough to check it out.She brought mate and cigarettes to her room, played Sarah McLachlan’s Full of Grace and sat in the middle of her bed with the tablet.She felt relieved to see Jim hadn’t written anything. He’d only posted four photographs, and the lump up her throat didn’t come as a surprise when she saw them. Four pictures, one for each day they’d spent together. A smile found its way to her lips, reading the titles he’d chosen for them.He’d called the
No Return A Tale of Storms
The soft glow of the nightstand lamp blinded Silvia for a moment. As soon as she was able to squint around, she swung the covers open and jumped out of bed, grunting and grumbling under her breath.One damned hour. She’d been turning and tossing in bed for a whole hour, unable to sleep, the idea of that video waiting for her corroding her brain.She washed her face with cold water and grabbed her earphones. A moment later, she was back in bed, resting against the headboard, tablet in hand. She breathed deep and played the video.The Chilean flags everywhere didn’t leave much doubt about where the video had been filmed. It was a small stadium, for about ten thousand people, and it was crowded to the brink of structural collapse.The stage was dark and empty, and people whistled and shouted and screamed for the band to come back. Then a beam like an airport searchlight pierced the air, blinding bright, straight to Jim’s vacant microphone,
No Return The Enemy
Silvia paused the video one more time, her heart beating in her throat instead of her aching chest. Tears played funny tricks to her eyes, painting a bright halo around Jim on the screen, turning him into a blinding figure in the reddish shadows of the stage, with that fevered and obedient crowd at his feet, looking up at him in adoration.She didn’t want to watch anymore.She didn’t want to listen to what came next.She didn’t want to hear him call out straight to her love. To know if she would still dare the gale, crawl out from under the rubble, walk through the ravaged ruins he’d left of her heart.She didn’t want to step into the eye of that hurricane he couldn’t rein in anymore, because it’d become the flame that kept him alive.And at the same time, it didn’t matter how many poetic arguments her survival instinct came up with to seduce her and hold her back. She knew she wouldn’t refuse.
No Return Black Friday
Silvia needed a while to stop crying, the tablet in frail balance on her lap. Finally, she was able to lie down again and turn off the light. Not to sleep, she doubted she would be so lucky, but to think. She lit the umpteenth cigarette and smoked with her reddened eyes up on the ceiling.She was dying to reply to such a low blow, and she could think of a dozen fitting ways off the top of her head. But she had to pick only one. While she tried to calm down, stubborn embers still burning in her chest, she forced herself to go over every possible answer she could think of, promising she wouldn’t pick one until she’d listed them all.Yeah, she was trying to cheat herself into a silly excuse to keep from replying. At least it gave her something to muse about, instead of spiraling down into memories of him.Somehow she fell asleep. To regret it deeply in the morning, when she surfaced from an upsetting thread of awful dreams about him. In them, Jim would
No Return Breaking News
Thirty minutes later, across the mountains, Silvia’s phone rang, and it kept ringing until she woke up and picked up, feeling instantly sick.“Turn on the TV! Now!” Paola barked upset.“What?”“Get the fuck up and turn on the news! It’s Jim!”Silvia managed to get out of bed and drag her feet instead of crawl to the dining room, mostly pulled by her friend’s weird urgency. What the hell was going on? What could Jim be doing to upset her, enough to call on a Saturday morning?She turned on the TV and surfed the news channels. Nothing. No Jim whatsoever. They were all broadcasting live an air shot of a massive pile up on some highway. Those Buenos Aires jerks, like people in the rest of the country gave a damn about their shitty traffic.“I can’t find it,” she grunted. “What did you see?”“What d’you mean you can’t find it? It’s o
No Return Highway to Hell
Walt called Jim from the back of the bus, his little keyboards on his lap, and the rest of the band came around, smelling new song. Jim reached for his phone to record whatever Walt had come up with, and realized it’d slipped from his back pocket. It wouldn’t be the first time it dropped on the bus seat. Sean saw him pat his pockets and snort, and volunteered to go grab it.That was when the bus swerved sharply, wheels screeching, throwing everybody to the side. Then they heard the first impact that pushed the bus skidding to the other side. Another hit against the rear bumper and the bus started spinning. Another hit, a big truck that bashed the whole side of the bus. Another hit and the bus seemed to crack open like a frigging nut as it fell on the opposite side, still ramming down the highway.Jim had that image carved in his mind: the bending steel snapping like rubber bands, the bus split in two. Sean launched up and out, flapping his arms in the air,
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No Return True Freedom
Silvia woke up to Depeche Mode’s Personal Jesus.The sun was setting and she was alone in bed, tucked in soft sheets that smelled of lemon and the fat white comforter. Jim had left a few hours ago to let her rest, because after those weeks apart, it was plain to see she wouldn’t get any rest with him around.She’d fallen sound asleep, exhausted, and now she had the persistent feeling of being still lost in a dream. But she wasn’t. This was not the Black Rock. It was the Ashtray, her new home, and that music had to be a phone ringing.But not hers. She’d never used that song as a ringtone.She followed the music to the other nightstand, where she found a new phone still inside its open box with a red ribbon. And she laughed out loud when she grabbed it and saw the caller was My Personal J.“Hey, you awake?” Jim asked when she picked up, still chuckling.“Hey, you just woke me u
No Return Yours
They staggered into the bedroom and fell on the bed as they kissed, their hands struggling to get rid of their clothes.Silvia pulled Jim to bring him on top of her, yearning to feel his weight. There was no other body to hers, no other hands to touch her, no other lips to drive her crazy, no other skin to stroke hers. She wrapped a leg around his waist, pushing him down, and moaned when she felt him inside of her, his fire sweeping it all away, and she gave in to his need and his exasperated anxiety.Because that was exactly how he was feeling. He’d never missed her body, he’d never needed her like this. Yet there he was, fighting himself back to keep from going off like a frigging teen, growing crazier with every moan he pushed out of her mouth, every move of her hips, every touch of her fingers, every brush of her lips. Like he would never have enough of her.Why was he feeling this way? Why nothing seemed enough? When had all bodies lost their ap
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Silvia exited the Customs Office feeling stunned and a little dizzy. After such an emotional last week in Bariloche, she’d had to go through the long flight that had taken her to another time zone, another season, another country, another culture, another language. She looked around, feeling she was running on fumes and she was about to pass out any moment now.Jim threw the sign she hadn’t seen into a bin to come stand before her, hands in his pockets and a smile under his black cap.“Looking for somebody?”Silvia just dropped everything to fall into his arms. He held her tight, kissing her hair, and felt her shiver nonstop. She needed a whole minute to fight back her tears and get a little grip on herself. When he assessed she would be able to walk, he took her hand, grabbed the luggage cart with his other hand, and took both to the parking lot without a word.Silvia just let him lead the way. She was there, with him, finally. Sh
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Silvia left before her friends and siblings even registered what she was doing. One minute they were all toasting to her for the hundredth time in the bar, and the next minute she was hugging every one of them, telling them how much she loved them. And then she was gone, all alone.She walked down the street, gazing up at the sky, admiring the colors in those minutes before the early sunrise. Her feet didn’t need to consult with her brain to head straight to the downtown beach, walk down the stone steps and take her right up to the lake shore.She sat down on the cold pebbles and lit a cigarette, face to the east. It was her last sunrise of the only life she’d ever known. The last sunrise with her lake and her mountains. Like so many times before, she wished she could capture every little detail as far as her eyes could see, carve it all in her memory and keep it inside of her, true and unchanged, forever unfading.She watched the sun come up behind
No Return December
Tobias and Leandro had done their best to clean up the Black Rock before Silvia came back home. And the outcome made her smile, because the house was squeaky-clean and smelling of flowers. They were surprised to see Mika there too, but Silvia’s look kept them from asking any questions.Knowing the siblings needed time alone for their reunion, Leandro left for Beltane, to have dinner with Claudia. At the Black Rock, Mika went to the supermarket, to restock the fridge with something that wasn’t trash food and make dinner for the three of them.The moment she walked out, Tobias asked Silvia what had happened to their sister to make her lower that proud head of hers, admit her fail and come back home. It was just natural he would take mortal offense when he learned why Mika was actually back. But Silvia would have none of it.“I’m telling you the same I told your sister,” she said. “You don’t want me to keep treating you guy
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No Return The Thing
Silvia almost missed her flight, too absorbed staring at the tiny thing on the table before her.What on God’s green earth was that thing doing there, and in her keep?That white-gold band with a little, discreet diamond.An engagement ring.That frigging coward! Throwing it at her from ten feet away!But no matter the delivery method, Jim had given it to her.His mother’s, he’d said.Bring it back, he’d said.She felt lucky her brain was able to register the last boarding call. She looked up, startled, and jumped to her feet. She was about to hurry away when she remembered the ring. Actually, it was more like feeling a leash tugging at her neck, stopping her from walking away from the table.She spun around on her heels and scowled down at the damned thing.“You…” she growled.The moment she had it in her hand again, she realized how small and light it wa
No Return Catch
It was sort of weird. Being with Jim usually involved having people around, but now they were all alone, making their way through the usual crowd in LAX. Come to think about it, both of them loved having an active social life. Maybe that was why she hadn’t needed any major adjusting over the last ten days in LA.…?Silvia would’ve punched herself best Fight Club style. She had only minutes left with him and she was pondering about their social habits? Really?She checked in for her flight and they headed to the boarding area in no hurry.“So you think you can be back by January ten.”“Yup. I gotta report to work with Jo on the fifteenth, but I want a couple of free days before that.”They walked a whole minute in silence.Silvia wondered why all of a sudden they didn’t seem to have anything left to say. Why were they avoiding eye contact? Why did she feel like getting into the boarding
No Return Jam
“Hurry up or I’m calling a cab!”“Bet you’re dying to do it, you chicken.”“Please, Jay!”Silvia finished raiding the master bedroom one last time, to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything.“Jay!”“Coming.”She snorted and went to canvass the ground floor. She was just done when Jim came down the stairs in no hurry.“Can we go before I have a heart attack, milord?”“Cool down, woman, we have plenty of time,” he said, grabbing her duffel bag on his way to the front door, where she waited with her rucksack. He paused at the doorway to poke her nose. “Really, such a rush to leave me.”Silvia wasn’t about to explain she was always that upset whenever she had a bus or a plane to catch, so she just scowled at him and followed him out.“Got everything? Tickets, passport?”Silvia ch
