Silvia needed a while to stop crying, the tablet in frail balance on her lap. Finally, she was able to lie down again and turn off the light. Not to sleep, she doubted she would be so lucky, but to think. She lit the umpteenth cigarette and smoked with her reddened eyes up on the ceiling.
She was dying to reply to such a low blow, and she could think of a dozen fitting ways off the top of her head. But she had to pick only one. While she tried to calm down, stubborn embers still burning in her chest, she forced herself to go over every possible answer she could think of, promising she wouldn’t pick one until she’d listed them all.
Yeah, she was trying to cheat herself into a silly excuse to keep from replying. At least it gave her something to muse about, instead of spiraling down into memories of him.
Somehow she fell asleep. To regret it deeply in the morning, when she surfaced from an upsetting thread of awful dreams about him. In them, Jim would
Thirty minutes later, across the mountains, Silvia’s phone rang, and it kept ringing until she woke up and picked up, feeling instantly sick.“Turn on the TV! Now!” Paola barked upset.“What?”“Get the fuck up and turn on the news! It’s Jim!”Silvia managed to get out of bed and drag her feet instead of crawl to the dining room, mostly pulled by her friend’s weird urgency. What the hell was going on? What could Jim be doing to upset her, enough to call on a Saturday morning?She turned on the TV and surfed the news channels. Nothing. No Jim whatsoever. They were all broadcasting live an air shot of a massive pile up on some highway. Those Buenos Aires jerks, like people in the rest of the country gave a damn about their shitty traffic.“I can’t find it,” she grunted. “What did you see?”“What d’you mean you can’t find it? It’s o
Walt called Jim from the back of the bus, his little keyboards on his lap, and the rest of the band came around, smelling new song. Jim reached for his phone to record whatever Walt had come up with, and realized it’d slipped from his back pocket. It wouldn’t be the first time it dropped on the bus seat. Sean saw him pat his pockets and snort, and volunteered to go grab it.That was when the bus swerved sharply, wheels screeching, throwing everybody to the side. Then they heard the first impact that pushed the bus skidding to the other side. Another hit against the rear bumper and the bus started spinning. Another hit, a big truck that bashed the whole side of the bus. Another hit and the bus seemed to crack open like a frigging nut as it fell on the opposite side, still ramming down the highway.Jim had that image carved in his mind: the bending steel snapping like rubber bands, the bus split in two. Sean launched up and out, flapping his arms in the air,
Later on he might ask what the hell she was doing there, how she had made it there hardly five hours after the crash. Maybe he would even ask her why.Right then, he could only throw his arms around her and hide his face against her chest, fighting back the groans burning his throat and ripping his chest apart. She held him tight without a word and kissed his blood-sprayed hair, letting him vent.When he was able to get a grip on himself and let go of her, rubbing his face with an embarrassed grimace, she crouched down to study him carefully, as to confirm he was bruised but sort of fine, and most importantly, alive.Jim let out a bitter scoff. She smiled as she sat down by his side, put her arm around his shoulders again and let him rest against her. He leaned to lie on his good side, his head on her lap, all of a sudden unable to keep his eyes open.Silvia caressed his hair gently, letting him sleep as her look moved over the cold, white ceiling, and sh
“Wake up, Jay.”Jim sat up so fast that everything spun around him for a moment. The world settled in time for him to see a doctor coming out of Sean’s room. Silvia helped him to his feet and followed him to join Tim, Ron and Tom, that had already cornered the doctor. A bilingual assistant sent by the local producer had arrived a while ago, to lend the Americans a hand. However, when the doctor explained Sean’s prognosis, all of them turned to Silvia.She translated his words, feeling utterly awkward. “Well, surgery worked out fine. He’s out of danger but his state’s still critical, and he can’t leave the hospital at least for a couple of weeks. However, he’s just woken up and one of you guys can see him for five minutes.”Jim walked in before she was done talking, and nobody even thought of trying to stop him.He closed the sliding glass door and the curtain before approaching the bed cautiously
Silvia ended up helping Lorna to find accommodation for the rest of the crew at a small, decent inn a couple of streets away. Back to Jo’s room, they found Deborah was already on the phone, making call after call to arrange an air ambulance that could take Sean and Sam back to LA as soon as possible.Ron came in with the nurse bringing the patients’ dinner, and told them about the growing number of news crews and fans outside the hospital. Tim and the hospital director had talked to them, but the reports doubted the well-being of the musicians, because none of them had been seen after the accident. Internet was spreading those rumors like fire, and #RIPNoReturn was about to trend on Twitter.“I asked Jim to join Tim, but he pretty much kicked me out of Sean’s room.”Silvia noticed that all of them turned to her and frowned, especially when Deborah tried a nice smile. She sighed.“I’ll try to convince him,” s
A selfie with Jim and Liam granted them the nurse’s unconditional assistance, and Silvia didn’t hesitate to abuse it openly. First, she asked for a safe spot to smoke. Next, she put Ron to the task of getting trash food for the musicians, to smuggle it into their room with the nurse’s help. Then she went back to Deborah’s room.“Jim’s downstairs,” she informed, and turned to Jo. “D’you think you can walk a few steps?”“What are you up to now?” asked Deborah, narrowing her eyes.“Taking Jo to see Sean, if she can get up.”Jo was sitting up before Silvia was done talking. She helped the girl out of bed and grabbed the IV bag. They paused at the doorway and looked to the nurses’ station, where the young nurse had taken over the screen showing the hallway cameras. As soon as she waved her hand discretely, they came out.Sean opened his eyes the moment they walked
It was a quick, quiet meal as the five of them wolfed down their food like it was the first they’d had in a year. Silvia cleaned any incriminatory evidence and commanded the musicians to sleep, threatening them with midnight injections if they stayed awake.She and Jim left the other three and he took her hand when they walked out, waiting for her to try to let go, say something, do anything. Silvia rested her head on his shoulder as they strolled down the hall to Sean’s room without a word.Jim stopped at the doorway, surprised to find Jo there. The girl saw them come in and kissed Sean’s cheek.“Night, love,” she whispered, and let Silvia help her climb down from the bed.They walked slowly out as Jim circled the bed to sit in the armchair. When Silvia came back, he was sound asleep. She tucked him in with the blanket, brushed his hair with her lips, tiptoed out.A minute later, she was sitting on the cold floor tile
Winter swooped down on Patagonia early that year, with chilly winds that blew away any cloud, letting the temperature rocket down to stay like that for months. Frost soon nested around the clock in any corner the pale sun didn’t reach, mountains wore their thick white cloak, daylight hours shrunk in what felt like a heartbeat.And just like every winter, Silvia’s social life adjusted to the harsh weather. It was the time of the year for closest friends and easy get-togethers at home instead of a bar.It was the season to weave tighter together that safety net of affection that had allowed her to spend the last two or three years playing the acrobat, ever since she’d met Pat. The only reason why she hadn’t ended up smashed on the floor when trapezes kept turning into smoke and vanished before her eyes, an inch away from her reaching hands, usually at the end of a triple somersault.It was the time for long strategic board games, TV shows b