Two: Clara

I laugh at Jenny’s joke and for a second, everything feels alright. Being here, with my friends somehow seems to make everything okay. It just feels so easy, to be with them and socialize with them. It is one of the rare times in a day that makes me and my wolf happy, one of the only times, perhaps, I’m not drowning in immeasurable sorrow.

I am at the pack house and all of us have just completed making the pack dinner. Everyone who resides at the pack house, the alpha family, the beta family, the orphans, etc. will be coming down to the hall to have their fill of the food. We werewolves burn calories every time we breathe due to our insanely fast metabolism, so we women make sure that there is plenty of food on the table and that everyone has their full.

Cooking at the pack house was never a chore. In this pack, cooking is a social event where whoever likes cooking can come and be a part of the community. As simple as that. It doesn’t matter how old you are, or what your gender is, what matters here is your affinity for cooking. Usually, the kitchen is filled with all kinds of people but one night a week is reserved for only the women of the pack and today is that day. All interested women from the pack have come here in the pack house, to gossip and socialize. It’s one of the only nights I enjoy anymore.

“Do you think Kyle could have found his mate by now?” Tamara, the Luna of the pack asked me and all heads swivel to me.

“Oh, I don’t think so. He would have mind-linked me if he had found his mate. I gave him explicit instructions to do so.” I respond and smile confidently. Of course, he would let me know if he found his mate. I’m his mother after all. The moment he was about to step out of the door today, on his seventeenth birthday, I asked, nay ordered, him to tell me if and when he found his mate today. “Although, I’m not sure he is interested in having a mate right now. He was more excited about being able to take part in the combat sessions today.” Tamara laughs in response, and I can’t help but follow because my boy has always been different that way.

“That boy has some strange priorities, I have always said.” Nana Rose says and I can’t help but laugh at her comment. If it had been said by someone else, I would have taken offense, but she was practically Kyle’s grandma and had coddled him for as long as I can remember.

“Ben adores and respects Kyle so much. So, whenever Kyle says he is not interested in finding his mate right now, Ben tries to puff up his chest and proclaim that he isn’t interested in mates either. Then they do that weird fist bump thing and act like mature adults together.” Everyone laughs and I gently shake my head at my obnoxious children. “Then, Ariel would look at the two of them and give me a look that says how boys are ridiculous and girls are way smarter because after all, which werewolf doesn’t want to meet their mate?” I laugh at the scene from today’s breakfast table when I find Ariel rolling her eyes at the pretentiousness of her two big brothers.

Everyone laughs at my words and I can’t help but join them. Probably no one in the pack has such entertaining children and every day I thank good for them, even though my luck had been straight up sore in other areas of my life.

Clara, will you please come to my office? I would like to talk to you about something important; the alpha’s voice rings out in my ear, and I reply in the affirmative. I have no idea what’s so important that the alpha had to call me into his office. Nonetheless, I bid everyone goodbye and made my way to the alpha’s office.

I knock lightly on the teak door to the alpha’s office. Even though me and Richard, the alpha, were on good terms and were indirectly related, I was not one to disregard certain societal rules. I open the door and enter the office when I hear a gruff “Come in” from the other side of the door.

The office looked the same as it had almost eighteen years ago when I had first seen it. Alpha Richard Paxton, or Rich as I like to call him, was sitting behind a huge, cluttered mahogany desk. In a flash, I could easily picture Ryder sitting in this same office and leading the pack after his father. They were similar in so many ways that I am pretty sure that he would be a great alpha, just like his father.

“Alpha”, At my greeting, his head snaps up and I can already see a frown marring his face.

“Please Clara, there’s no need to greet me like this. My sister-in-law should at least get the benefit of calling me by my name. We don’t need to be so formal.” Richard says and I smile at him in response. Of course, he has asked and ordered me to call him by his name a thousand times but am I going to? Definitely no. Some things are deeply ingrained in me and my wolf and calling an alpha by his position is one of them. I just can’t help it. “Please do take a seat. I would like to talk to you about Kyle.”

Instantly curious, I take the seat across from Richard and wait for him to get to the point. Richard eyes me warily and my brain forms uncomfortable notations about the way he is looking at me. What did Kyle do to make Richard so wary of him? Richard goes on to explain about the incident that happened during the combat training sessions and my wolf starts becoming unsettled.

“I know that things have been difficult for you and your kids ever since Brad died eight months ago.” I feel a painful pang at the mention of Brad, who I’ve been desperately trying to stop thinking about. Unsuccessfully, I might add. The mating mark on the juncture of my shoulder and neck starts buzzing and it’s all I can do to stop myself from touching the mark to calm my wolf down, who has been mourning the loss of her chosen mate for the last few months.

“When you came to this pack seeking refuge eighteen years ago, you told me all about yourself, Clara and I’m glad about the trust you placed in me. You told me that you were three months pregnant with your mate’s child who had rejected you and we took you in. That child has grown up to be an amazing seventeen-year-old boy, Clara. You should be proud of him. My brother and you did right by him, he is the best possible version of a boy his age. I’m his godfather and as his godfather, I wanted to talk to you about Kyle and his wolf.”

“Kyle is the son of an alpha, like you told me, and before Brad died, he and I discussed Kyle’s possibilities in the pack and I promised Brad, I would only tell you about this when I felt the time was good and I believe it is time. You see, Kyle is the son of an alpha which makes his wolf more possessive, aggressive, authoritative, and vindictive. Even though Kyle knows he isn’t the alpha, his wolf believes and acts otherwise because it’s only natural. Ryder is going to succeed after me, he is going to be the next alpha and command this pack. Right now, I’m the only one whose wolf is a true alpha, being the eldest son in the family. But Ryder and Kyle are both true alphas and I’m not sure that two strong alphas can survive in a single pack, especially when both of their wolves are still learning to control themselves.”

“I am urging you to think about this. Kyle’s options in this pack are very limited and he will have to suppress his wolf a lot to obey Ryder and other wolves who will be superior to him. It will be difficult for everyone in the pack to witness any future disagreements between Ryder and Kyle and I promise such disagreements will only increase in the future. Kyle is so amazing and promising. I don’t want him to suppress his animal instincts any more than you do. I love the kid and that’s why I called you here.”   

I gulp and look down at my hands in my lap. Of course, I knew what Richard was talking about. I had thought about it so many times over the years, discussed what was the best path to take with Brad, and worried about everything that was out of my control. “What do you propose I should do?” I knew that Richard wasn’t being mean or selfish enough to cement his son’s place as the pack’s alpha. He was telling me all this because he loved my children like they were his own. I respected this man and after marrying and mating with Brad, he had become a good friend, someone I could always rely on.

“I know you and Kyle’s father weren’t on good terms when you left your previous pack but I think it would be best if Kyle is given a chance to go back to your birth pack. His wolf will acclimatize there very easily because he is supposed to be the rightful heir to the alpha position of the pack. I believe the best solution is to enforce Kyle’s right to the alpha position in your previous pack. My advice is that you go with him and, help him settle in, prove his right to the alpha position, attend his ceremony, and then come back home.”

I look blankly at Richard. How could he casually propose this? I could never imagine myself going back to my previous pack, where my mate was the alpha, and helping Kyle attain the alpha position there. How could I ever leave my Kyle in such a place, where he hadn’t been before?

“I know how you’re feeling, Clara but I have thought long and hard about this. As it is, to become a pack warrior, I would have asked him to go on an inter-pack mission and you can console yourself by taking this as one.” But it wouldn’t be a short mission, would it? It would be permanent. If Kyle became the alpha of that pack, he would have responsibilities and obligations and he would have to settle there. Me, Ariel, and Ben would hardly get to see him because this is our home. This pack, where I married Brad and gave birth to three of my children, was home for me. What was I supposed to do? Am I supposed to just be okay with everything and send Kyle to a pack he has never been to before, where he has a father, he has never met before, where he has relations, he has never heard about?

“I’ll think about it,” I say and Richard nods. I sense a headache bloom and all I want to do is be close to my Brad, be in his arms because he made everything alright. But he wasn’t here anymore and I had to look after my family. It would be so much easier if I just knew what to do.