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28 | Shit, she recognized me!
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2024-10-29 19:42:56“What are we cooking for lunch?” James asks, as he sprawls out on the couch, taking up all the available space.
I raise an eyebrow and look at him skeptically, trying to figure out if he’s joking or not.
He’s dead serious.Is he really serious?“Are you telling me you want to cook again, after we burned all the pancakes until the batter ran out?” I ask, confused.He looks at me. “And what would you like to eat? The chairs? And the pancakes burned because, while I was cooking, you distracted me,” he retorts.
I open my mouth wide. “I swear, I’ll smash that chair over your head.” I cross my arms over my chest, offended. “And it’s not true that I distracted you.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“And let’s hear it, genius, how
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Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 30 | We’ll annoy each other together.
“Do you know those moments of complete boredom when you don’t know what to do and you try to come up with an idea, but at the same time the thought of doing something bores you?Well.I feel like that right now.I feel hot, too hot, and lying on the bed certainly doesn’t help.I get up and touch the mattress, feeling the spot where I was lying soaked.I huff, cursing the summer, and head to the bathroom.I turn on the shower and jump under it, clothes and all.Finally, a bit of coolness.I turn off the water and quickly wring out my clothes and hair, then head down to the living room.I flop onto the couch and turn on the TV.I flip through the channels for a while before switching it off, finding nothing to watch.I lie on the couch for a while until I hear my phone ringing, signaling someone is calling me.I read the name on the display: James.I hit the green icon and answer.
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 31 | And so her lips stumbled into mine.
JAMES"A terrible idea. This is definitely a terrible idea." Carly, Brianna's talkative friend, keeps repeating the same phrase, shaking her head in despair.Brianna shoots her a glare. "Mine is a fantastic idea."Skyler smiles. "I agree with Brianna."Connor sighs and sits on the armrest of the couch in Brianna's living room. "Would you mind bringing us in on it?" he asks, pointing first to himself and then to me. "Because we have no idea what's going on here."Sky turns to us. "Brianna suggested we go to Hunter, a club, because there's a party tonight, but Carly doesn’t seem to agree.""Of course I don’t! This girl here can’t handle alcohol at all! We’ll just end up in trouble!" Carly bursts out, giving her so-called best friend a dirty look, who at the moment seems more like a red cloth waved in front of a bull to Carly.The girl in question smiles. "I don’t know what you’re talk
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 32 | Okay? Okay.
Panic.Panic, panic, panic.Ever since I woke up, so for about two hours now, I’ve been thinking about what happened last night.And especially about why.James and I kissed.Sure, it was just a peck, but it was still a kiss.And I don’t feel excited or happy or anything else; I feel scared.I’m afraid that our friendship is ruined.We’ve known each other for too short a time to feel anything different toward one another, and we don’t even know much about each other.So, yes, I’m incredibly scared.Scared that things might change.Scared of losing him as a friend.Because despite the short time, he has become a constant and one of my best friends.As I ponder how I might get out of this situation, I prepare my second cup of coffee for the day, add sugar, and continue stirring with a spoon, lost in my thoughts.What could I do?Run away to Mexico? No, too pre
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 33 | Only another bottle of beer.
My God, things escalate too quickly when it comes to my family.Aunt Sasha and Aunt Wendy are fighting over who should get with Zac Efron, as if they actually could, and it looks like they might start pulling each other's hair out at any moment.Grandpa Carl and Grandpa Sean are completely drunk, which is unusual, and they’re dancing the samba together.My mom and Julie, James's mom, are holding a broom horizontally so Grandma Maria and Grandma Verah can limbo under it.Connor seems to be the only sober one—though with my mom, even without alcohol, she’s completely out of her mind—and he’s playing with Carly and Aisha.Skyler and Jace have disappeared, though I have a pretty good idea of what they’re up to.Aunt Mary is in charge of the music tonight, wearing a hat with the visor turned backward that says, "I'm the best and fuck the rest."What a rebellious aunt.Uncle Mark and Aunt Annie are
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 34 | It will be a disaster regardless.
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At home, Skyler and Connor have also arrived, along with Paul and Aisha. Only my family is missing. We’re all in the kitchen chatting when Paul turns to me. “Do your relatives have problems with doors too?”Everyone laughs while I bang my head against the kitchen table. “Are you going to remind me of this for life?”No one has time to respond because the doorbell rings.I lift my head from the table and give a creepy smile, then I get up and go to open the door.“Jace!” I scream, while at the same time my cousin screams my name.I also greet Uncle Mark and Aunt Annie and bring them into the kitchen.My cousin walks over to my mom, holding up the pack of beer in his hand. “Aunt! I brought more alcohol!”Connor looks at us perplexed. “Isn’t there too much?”My cousin and I exchange glances before turning to Connor. “No alcohol, no party!” we shout
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 36 | What will you do?
"I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again. I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again. I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again," I continue to mumble while lying on my back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.Yesterday, when I fell asleep, James, Sky, and Connor were here with me, but this morning I woke up alone.I hear my cousin and my best friend's voices coming from downstairs, but I doubt the other three are still here.James left before I woke up. Was he so remorseful that he didn’t even want to talk about it?The thought gives me a tight feeling in my stomach. I don’t want to lose him. But this time, I’m not regretting the kiss. I mean, I’m not saying I’m head over heels in love and dreaming of spending my life with James, but I simply believe that if two people kiss multiple times, even if they were both under the influence of alcohol, there has to be at least some attrac
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Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you Special - I want to live every day and all the days
Five years later...I’m lying diagonally on the bed with my head resting on James's stomach, which keeps making strange noises. "James, honey, just so you know, if you're hungry, you can go down to the kitchen."My boyfriend makes a face. "But your parents are downstairs. It embarrasses me to go down and act like it’s my house."I prop myself up on my elbows and raise my torso to look James in the face. "Are you serious? We’ve been together for over seven years. Seven! You practically have residency here. You even have a group chat with my parents where you exchange embarrassing photos of me, and you still have the nerve to be embarrassed."James puts a hand on my face and pushes me back down onto his stomach. "These are trivial details, Brianna."In response, I lick his hand to make him remove it. "Do you want me to walk you downstairs while holding your hand too?" I tease.James grimaces. "No, be
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you Special - Happy birthday
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Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 40 | Never go to the tattoo artist if bad luck is following you.
A year and a half later.I watch little Jeremy staring at me curiously while he has his fist in his mouth, drooling like a Saint Bernard. He’s lying on the changing table, waiting for me to put a clean diaper on him.How was it done again? The YouTube videos make it seem so easy...“Well, little one, what if I took you to church naked? You’re so small; kids get forgiven for everything.”“Do you really want to let him go around naked?” James leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, eyebrow raised. “You don’t remember how to put on a diaper, do you?”I give him a dirty look. “Don’t stare at me like that. It’s difficult, okay?”“He’s been home for months, and you still haven’t learned?”I throw a clean diaper at him. “Why don’t you do it?”James catches the diaper in midair and approac
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 39 | The next time, I will read you like a roast.
JAMESI feel a foot come down on my backside rather unceremoniously.I groan in pain and try to move away, but as I turn, I fall off the bed.I snap my eyes open and sit up, massaging my cheek.I look at Brianna lying diagonally, taking up the entire bed.The passion for sumo hasn't faded.I hate waking up with her nearby because she always pushes me out of bed.Literally.I decide to take revenge.I go to Connor's room and grab one of those stadium horns, then I return to my room.I bring it close to Brianna's face and blow.She screams in fright, and I, not expecting that reaction, scream in fright too, and Mrs. Porter, my neighbor, screams in fright as well.Once we've all calmed down, Brianna looks at me in shock. "Let me get this straight, how many times did you fall off your high chair when you were little?"I give her a dirty look. "Only twice, unlike you."She n
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 38 | Do you want to be my magnet for bad luck?
I'm about to have a heart attack.My breathing is quick, my hands are shaking, I feel a trickle of sweat running down my forehead, and I'm sure my face is pale.Paler than usual, that is.James asked me out on a real date, and when I read the message, my heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. The date is at his house—thank goodness at least one of us knows how to cook—and I have no idea how it’s going to go.But that's not why I'm anxious. When I got James's message, I was in the kitchen with my parents, and when they saw me smiling at the screen, they asked me what was going on.But now my only question is: why did I tell my mom that the date would be at his house?Now, after calling Julie and discussing our "relationship," she's convinced we’re going to end up rolling around in the sheets since we’ll have the house to ourselves all weekend.But we haven't even rea
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 37 | Where could I take her for the first date?
JAMESI feel my heart beating faster than usual, my hands trembling, and anxiety rising.This morning, while I was going through the worst hangover of my life and felt like I had been hit by a car, my brother Connor came to wake me up and told me to get a move on, because apparently our parents had forgotten that we had an appointment.So, once I was awake, I had to reluctantly move Brianna's head off my chest; apparently, we had fallen asleep hugging each other.And now I’m terrified that she might think I left of my own accord because of our kiss or, rather, our kisses, and that she thinks I regret it.And right now, I'm feeling so many emotions, but regret isn't one of them.In fact, when I think back to what happened last night, a spontaneous smile spreads across my face.And it’s exactly while having these thoughts that, like a bolt from the blue, one single, burning truth flashes through my
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 36 | What will you do?
"I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again. I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again. I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again," I continue to mumble while lying on my back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.Yesterday, when I fell asleep, James, Sky, and Connor were here with me, but this morning I woke up alone.I hear my cousin and my best friend's voices coming from downstairs, but I doubt the other three are still here.James left before I woke up. Was he so remorseful that he didn’t even want to talk about it?The thought gives me a tight feeling in my stomach. I don’t want to lose him. But this time, I’m not regretting the kiss. I mean, I’m not saying I’m head over heels in love and dreaming of spending my life with James, but I simply believe that if two people kiss multiple times, even if they were both under the influence of alcohol, there has to be at least some attrac
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 35 | Eeeeeeeee, macarena!
At home, Skyler and Connor have also arrived, along with Paul and Aisha. Only my family is missing. We’re all in the kitchen chatting when Paul turns to me. “Do your relatives have problems with doors too?”Everyone laughs while I bang my head against the kitchen table. “Are you going to remind me of this for life?”No one has time to respond because the doorbell rings.I lift my head from the table and give a creepy smile, then I get up and go to open the door.“Jace!” I scream, while at the same time my cousin screams my name.I also greet Uncle Mark and Aunt Annie and bring them into the kitchen.My cousin walks over to my mom, holding up the pack of beer in his hand. “Aunt! I brought more alcohol!”Connor looks at us perplexed. “Isn’t there too much?”My cousin and I exchange glances before turning to Connor. “No alcohol, no party!” we shout
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 34 | It will be a disaster regardless.
Before the Party...Dad is at work and suspects nothing; Mom and I have already wished him well and given him fake gifts, because we’ll give him the real ones at the party.Mom has already started making the cake, and later Julie will come to help her decorate it since she decided to make a two-tiered cake given the number of people who will be at the party.I’ve already stocked up on alcohol with my cousin, who helped me and then went home to sleep, saying that this way he’ll be ready for dancing.We have crates of beer, wine to stay a little tipsy at first and not get drunk right away, bottles of vodka, and rum.Then for sure the grandparents will bring more wine and beer, so we’re all set.I walk into the kitchen, where I slip on some flour and fall to the ground.My mom peeks over the table and, seeing me on the floor covered in flour while I massage my butt, bursts out laughing."My
