Chapter 3

Love was just a four-letter word but so powerful to put someone's life upside down. It was a word, that could bring great damage to someone else's life, and yet, very comforting for some. Love, was a two-faced feeling that had no definite meaning, as it its own self depended on how it would be use. People could lie, betray, cheat or even worst kill for the sake of love. Others could endure a self-less one sided love, loving someone so much, without minding his lover's affair. Few were blinded and had taken love for punches and bruises all over their body.

What was really meant by love?

Or at the very least, how was it to love?

Some books would say, love should be giving and happiness, it should be pure and honest. But how come there were people who were hurt by love?

Was love making someone's happy, or was it something that would make the other party suffer?

Wasn't it too greedy to think for yourself and not to be considerate about other people feelings for you?

Or you were too desperate to find happiness in love that you would just stay with other people because they love you?

You see, love was never been defined neither nor constructed for people to have a guide to follow how it was to love and what we all knew about love were how things worked out for us,even they might not worked out for other people.

Love, had no right and wrong, which made things more perplexed and ambigous for everyone. The decisions we made for love, were all subjective and only based on how painful it got and we just wanna freed ourselves from the pain it brought, but the question was :

In every difficult event you faced for love, was it really right to let go for something you worked hard for you to get it?

Love would always come with a gain and a loss, someone would curse the sky above for losing you, and someone would thank the heavens for having you. Whatever options you would choose, your happiness would still a scar to someone else's heart.

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Today must be a big day. Everyone around was busy setting up the studio for the daily airing of "Good Morning Everyone", morning time chikahan and news show wherein Yzel was invited for an interview. The cameraman were getting the cameras ready, looking for a good angle while the lightmen were all hooking up the reflectors for a more glowing effect.

The scriptwriters were all talking to each co-writers reviewing the sequences of the show, as the sound people where makin sure that the sounds would all come clear and not echoe-y. The rest of the staffs were fxing the set, aligning the couches and the tables to a most likely minimal angle while the director was checking on the takes. There were other people going in and out, handing coffee and drinks to the whole crew.

Stella told Yzel to go straight to the dressing room where she had already chosen all the stuff that Yzel would be wearing for the interview. She and her stuff were already in a venue to discuss how the scene would be taken together with the angles and on which camera would be taking the shots. Few more minutes, Yzel arrived to the dressing room, together with an assistant.

Yzel used to live her life with Francis, looking after on almost all of her things, from waking up, her breakfast, the things she would be needing, and then a lift that would bring her to her work. Now Francis was gone, Yzel didn't just know what was next after she washed up in the morning.

Yzel came with two sets of new edition coordinates from Christian Dior, a limited dress collaboration of HM x GiambattistaValli collection, and 6 pairs of shoes. Stella, who was surprised on how many boxes she brought almost had her veins exploding from too much stress and just, of almost what her bestfriend was. Yzel's personality was so peculiar that no one would buy her taste.

Stella shooked her head with annoyance while making steps closer to Yzel.

"Yah, Yzel!" Stella said trying to keep her cool. "I told you, not to bring too much because I will choose what you wear and all you have to do is just to come here and follow my orders, right?" she added while looking straight to Yzel who was now trying to make an explanation why she came in these outfits.

"I just wanna make sure," stammering Yzel said while making step backwards because she knew what did the black clouds covering Stella's head mean. Yzel was absolutely dead.

"So you came here and stay put and do whatever I will say because I am the in-charge of everything!" she shouted on her while grabbing Yzel on her ears and brought her to the chair at the front of the mirror.

Stella exhaled with frustrations as she signed the make-up artist and the hair dresser to do their trick to Yzel.

"You will appear like someone who is new on everything. This break will give you excitement because you miss your life being alone. You are in an adjusting phase of everything from you, waking up in the morning, to the moment you will close your eyes and sleep," Stella narrated. She was leaning her back over the table where Yzel's preparation was going on.

"That's true naman." Yzel pointed out while looking at her bestfriend thru the reflection on the mirror.

"Francis used to make me breakfast, arrange my things and bring me to my location and venue. We had to have a drive thru kanina kasi late akong nagising," Yzel told everyone. She was like telling a story in a class of how her morning went thru.

Stella just made a face and raised her eyebrow. Yzel just bit her lips, as she got what Stella was trying to say, shut up.

"Less of bright colors for the eyeshadow. Just a simple line of a dark color on the lid then an eyeliner then mascara for the lashes," Stella awfully instructed to the makeup artist.

This would be the first time that Yzel would change her makeup style. She love bright shiny glow-ups because it made everyone smile and just happy, alive colors. Now that Stella was the one who was doin her makeup Yzel was not really sure how she would look after.

"Oopps, no blush on. Just a thin foundation and a setting spray." Stella scolded the makeup artist while looking at Yzel's reflection at the mirror. "Make her lips look like a gradient effect," she added. She was handing a Lameige two way color lipstick to the makeup artist.

This time, her hair was actually straightened with hairclips pinning her hair at the back of her both ears. She used to use big diamond earrings, but Stella removed what she was wearing and changed it to a pink dangling earrings that actually matched her lips.

"Alright," with enthusiasm Stella said after Yzel's makeup and hair was done, she handed a white deep V-neck with a long sleeves dress. "You wear this now," she directly commanded her. Yzel reluctantly stood up from the chair and change her clothes.

"And for the finishing touch," swirled back by Stella to Yzel as soon as she stepped out the fitting room. "Here's your shoes," she said. She then handed a black heeled shoes.

And viola, the operation change of style was accomplished. Everyone in the room was amazed by her new look. Yzel seemed to glow with sparks coming from nowhere. Her real beauty was actually given more emphasize by the simplicity of her dress and the hair that flauntly added to her innocent looks.

"I look so basic, Stella," Yzel pouted as she turned from the mirror to see Stella.

"That was the goal. To make you look simpler than how the media known you," Stella said. She stared at her masterpiece as she sat down the couch near the mirror.

"Now, I want you to think of the things na di mo nagagawa or less often mong nagagawa nung kayo pa ni Francis." Stella told her while reaching for a piece of paper on the table.

"Mga bagay na di ko na nagagawa?" Yzel repeatedly asked with wonder. She was trying to think of some activities she never tried to do after Francis and she became couple.

With their schedules, and work together, they were actually not really hanging out together often. Probably, during holidays and when they have a planned vacations, but aside from that it was hard to grab a meal together. Yes it was true that they had access on each other places, but aside from that they were not really going out often.

The airing had started. The films started running so with the takes. Everyone gathered around the set so with Stella who was sitting next to the director and was watching the interview thru the small box at their front. As soon as the program started, everyone noticed the undeniably glow of Yzel.

"Woooah, mas lalo kaya yatang gumanda after ng breakup nyo." Interviewer noticed her rare shine as she opened the interview. Yzel smiled and flipped her hair as the side where the camera was focused. She was definitely a beauty of simplicity.

"Many say that. But I guess, when you accepted some things as they are, it sets you free, and it reflects on yourself," Yzel answered the interviewer. She was smiling at the camera.

Stella on the other hand, asked the director if they could focused the camera on that part where Yzel looked straight into the lens of the camera, like a baby staring at its mom innocently and smiled.

"I'm sorry about your breakup, it surprised everyone," interviewer consoled her. All what Yzel could do was to smile and thanked her for her sympathy. "How are you coping up?" the follow-up question that made Yzel stopped for a while, before continuing her words.

"Actually, to be honest, this is one of the biggest turning point in my life. I am a damsel in distress when I met Francis, and he is one of my motivation in everyday, and I owe him a big part of my success. I will always be grateful for the moments we shared together, and the times we are holding each other back," fighting her emotions back Yzel said. She paused while trying not to get too much emotional. Yzel clearly remembered what this interview was for. To get back on her business even Francis was not around anymore. This was for her public figure, shakened by Francis speech, humiliating her in the front of the media. She was doin this not for her "after-feelings" but for herself.

"But this event," holding back her tears, she continued.

"Give me a chance to make myself stronger and be more indepedent than what I thought I can be. I will truly be longing for our memories, but all I want for him is the best of everything. I don't wanna be selfish to hold him back on what he can become, and I just wanna support him on everything he wanna do. And this realization, makes me more accepting that the fact that we have to do things separately now."

Yzel finished her statement while wiping the tears welling up on her eyes, followed by an exhale to keep her voice firm and postured.

That question even though, already called for, was still could make every one emotional and could stirred their emotions up. Yzel wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, and used this oppurtunity to ask so many questions about how things turned out on their relationship. She didn't see things coming that way, all what she knew was, she was missing him dearly, and the next thing she knew Francis was breaking up with her. How could all this could make sense.

"So what activities are you doin' right now?" the interviewer continued.  Yzel inhaled to shake off the nervousness she was feelin' right now. With her looks forcely changed by her bestfriend, she was so anxious to think how she looked right now, with tears at the camera. Yzel looked straight again to everyone in the set, looking for Stella. Stella who was sitting behind the flashing lights, raised and waived her hand, as she let Yzel knew, she was there, and it was alright to carry on, let herself vent out. As soon as she seen her, Yzel continued the interview.

"Nothing really interests me now, aside from drinking at home," with chuckles she answered. It was followed by an expression from the interviewer that what she might said was not a bad thing, so she carried on. "I just spent most of my time sitting at my veranda, watching the stars and the moon waving at me with a cup of strawberry juice and a plate of peanut butter-jelly sandwiches," confidently Yzel replied. She was looking at the interviewer who seemed to enjoy that part, she said.

"And before we end this last question, Yzel, what do you miss the most?" the interviewer asked Yzel. If she thought that the How do you cope up question made her sweat at her seat despite of the coldness of the airconditioners around, this one had her knocked out.

Yzel inhaled, then exhaled again, then looked straight at the blinding lights as if she was talking to someone out there. Cameras followed her motion and focused at her as she stare.

"I miss myself," giving herself a break, she said. Her sentence was followed by a paused, and continued. "I miss my inner peace which makes me sleep soundly at night. I miss my simple joy being at home, that rewarding excitement that I feel, like after a long tiring day, I'll go home and enjoy while resting from fatigue at work. I miss enjoying my own company and happiness of what I already have." A stop from her again, as she calmed herself, trying not to break down.

"And most of all, I miss being there for myself." She ended her statement as she glanced back to the interviewer who handed her bouquets as the camera went further from the focus from Yzel. Everyone in the studio, including the viewers clapped their hands as an appreciation of her interview.

"Good job!" Stella said as she approached Yzel who was now taking photos with the interviewer and the rest of the people on the show.

"Thanks," Yzel answered nervously. She then excused herself to go to the washroom. Stella just nodded and continued entertaining the press and the some of the reporters of the other broadcasting stations.

Yzel clutched at her chest as soon as she reached the washroom. She suddenly felt weak falling into her feet and holding on the sink for support. It was true that she was one of the top fashion designers in every magazine, but this was the very first time, she talked about her thoughts and her feelings in front of the camera. That was very nerve-cracking, and Yzel couldn't figure out where on earth she find strength to let her inner self poured out. She stood up and stared at her reflection. She could still see the pain and the burning rage underneath this glass-glow makeup, and the furious she was feeling for getting humialiated. But what else could she do? Denying that she was still not over Francis would not bring her any good and would just stir up more issues of her holding grudges to her ex. She still held feelings for Francis, which gave her a lower hand at almost everything.

"I can survived this right?" she asked herself loudly looking straight to herself on the mirror.

"It may take time, but I can move on and not to make you speacial at all. All of thia will just be a part of my past," consoling herself. She watched herself talk onto the mirror.

Yzel missed Francis a lot, specially when she used to have him at her side whenever she was getting anxious or nervous, she had a hand to hold onto. But that was before. A history of two-weeks ago. She raised her hand and reached for her reflection on the mirror. Aside from Stella and her family, all what she got right was herself. And she needed to help herself more than anybody else.

Yzel stared at her reflection for a while when someone from her back showed up and startled her. With her shock upon the lady sudden appearance, she hit her same hand where she was cut at the edge of the sink. And oh my ghad, that hurt a lot now that when she was drunk.

"Oh my ghad, I am sorry to startled you," surprisingly the lady said to her reaching for her hand.

"Did you hurt yourself?" she asked. Yzel took a look at her hand. Yzel grabbed her hand back and the lady lifted her head and looked at her.

"Oh, no! I actually had myself injured before this," Yzel said. She  turned on the faucet to clean her palm from bleeding. The impact that hit her hand might opened her wound which was still in a healing process.

"I can get a hankerchief for a while to cover this up and have it band-aided at my dressing room," Yzel said. She looked for her pocket but she remembered that her dress was actually pocketless. That moment felt like a lightning had struck her.

"You can use this at the moment," smilingly the lady offered her hankerchief. She handed it for her to reach. "Besides, it is my fault to walk out the cubicle without making any sound," smilingly the lady said at her.

With no choice and for the sake that her dress was white she took the hankerchief that the lady offered. The lady tied the hankerchied at her hand as Yzel couldn't do it alone with one hand.

"Thanks," Yzel said. She turned off the faucet on the sink.

"Veronica." The lady said as she introduced herself, reaching for her arms ready for handshake.

"Ow, Yzel," she said. She was shaking Veronica's hand. Veronica smiled at her before she turned to her reflection at the mirror. Yzel took a final glance at herself in the reflection and smile to Veronica's reflection as she was ready to leave.

"You will get there, maybe not now, but soon," Veronica said. It made Yzel turned back to her, with a blank face.

"Ow, I heard the last part of your interview," Veronica told her. She lightly chuckled for eavesdropping.

"Oh, yeah, thanks," awkwardly Yzel told Veronica before leaving the washroom.

Love, if would be a person, probably a two-faced bitch. One who thought that people' lives were a gamble of faith of who would win and who would loss, with their emotions at stake. It could be possible a heartless jerk, you was afraid to take sides and was keeping on messing on someone's life.

Two different lady met, one who was thankful for the love she received, and who was recovering from a trauma of painful departure.

But with Francis being involved, would her breakup with Yzel, would make his love story with Veronica?

Or with Veronica, as Francis present girlfriend, would be just a test of his love for Yzel?