Never Let Me Fall

April 10, 2018. Isa sa mga araw ng buhay ni Yzel na hinding-hindi nya makakalimutan. There would always be a first time on everything, as the saying once said. And this day, were just one of those first-times.

April 10. 12th monthsary of their relationship, and who would not get excited for the whole day, when Yzel knew this was a big day. Who would thought na ang mala-aso-at-pusang relationship nila ni Francis ay aabot ng isang taon? Marami ang nagtangkang humadlang at sumira sa relasyon nila, work schedules nila na minsan ay di magtugma, their favorites, life goals nila na hindi rin makapaghintay at beliefs nila na wala talagang magkakapareho. But as the law of attraction was concerned, their relationship proved it all the way. The more you hate, the more you love. With the struggles that they'd been through, kapag patuloy mong pinipili ang taong mahal mo above all of the things that might go against you, love would sure blossom and everlasting. 

There was no perfect relationship or a realistic true love. It would not be a true love if it would not hurt you, or cause you pain, because that was the only way that you could prove to yourself that you were in love. And loving someone, was choosing your relationship and your partner, over and over again. Kung napagod ka, magpahinga ka, pero wag kang titigil. Cause once you stopped, that would not a true love anymore. Others would say that love was setting it free, and when it would come back, you were meant to be. That was bullshit. Kung mahal mo, bakit mo hahayaang mawala sayo at aasa ka na babalik? Once you were committed and wanted to last your relationship for so long, you should not let your lover go.

No matter how painful it would get, hurt would not weigh out the love. 

Maagang nag-ayos ng gamit nya si Yzel as she was coming back from her trip in Bali. She was working as a fulltime fashion designer and she was just coming back home from a fashion show in Bali wherein she was one of the guest designers. With her neutral Gucci coat, a Celine limited polka dotted dress, a black leather half-boots Tibi shoes, a heart-shaped Sequoia bag. She left the Shangrila Hotel in Bali and rode the car designated for her departure. 

Yzel Amelie Bourgés, a Filipino personality and a fashion designer who was a self-made influencer in the fashion industry. She started blogging her own style from her website, then after graduating in a fashion academy, she started her own brand and after two years of hard work, here she was, one of the on demand fashion identities.

It would take her one hour and 30 mins to fly back home and she literally couldn't hide her excitement. It had been a week of busy shows and guestings and she missed her boyfriend, Francis. She got her foundation from her purse and checked her look from a little circle mirror on her hand. She couldn't wait for the airplane to land and be with her man again. One week gone so fast but lonely to think that you are all alone by yourself. But this loneliness would soon end. 

On the other hand, Francis would pick Yzel up at the airport. He wore his finest polo top and wore pants that blended well on his top. He then got his coat to spice up his look. It had been a week since the last time he saw his girl and any man would be so excited to see his girl again. One week was seven days in total, but everyday facetiming and chatting with each other still felt different when Yzel was near.

Francis Matteo Salcedo, was a marketing director of a shoe brand,Achilles. He'd been in a company for less than a year, and been promoted because of his hardwork and charisma in a marketing field. With his marketing strategies, he was able to expand a small shoe shop and started its franchising two months after he joined the business and to become one of the leading shoe brands in the country.

Their relationship was absolutely a power couple and a goal to somebody.

Time passed by so quickly and Yzel's plane just landed at the terminal. Full of excitement and joy, kahit malayo pa lang, alam na nya ang tindig at posture ng boyfriend nya. She ran like a baby longing for her parents. Francis, missing her dearly, welcomed her with open arms, hugging her so tight. 

"I miss you babe," naglalambing na  sinabi ni Yzel as she put her arms around Francis neck.

"You are missed too, baby," Francis  said. He leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead, not minding the people who stared with them. Some with kilig, others with envy, and the rest just stare. This could be the most cliche scene in an airport, but would never go out of style.

They walked out together to the airport and with Francis' car, the two drove back to his apartment, as Yzel's heart couldn't stop pounding faster with thrill and excitement.

Yzel, who was so excited, couldn't hide the happiness on her face. She stunningly stared at his man's face as if she was trying to memorize every pores he got. That shiny nose, and chestnut eyes, and those lips, she undeniably missed everything about Francis.

Francis, on the other hand, gave Yxel a glance and smiled. Yzel grabbed his hand and caressed his fingers. Francis looked troubled somehow but managed to smile and to pay attention to his girl.

"Happy anniversary, babe," Yzel said. She stared at Francis' face again. He, on the other hand, stayed looking forward and trying not to get distracted from his driving. The unexplainable coldness started to crawl on the ambiance of the car, but Yzel just ignored it as she was aware that Francis was driving.

She didn't want to ruin the mood of the day, anyway. Scenarios like those were very common during anniversaries, like cold-shoulders then there was a surprise after. With that thought on her mind, Yzel just let things be until they reached his apartment and still no words from Francis.

He put her stuff in the living room and turned around to Yzel. His girl, who was being patient all the time, was hoping for a massive surprise, or some sort of. She eagerly turned to his man.

"Yes babe?" she said as her eyes turned glowy and shiny. Her heart beat so fast and she could feel chills on her spine. Surprises normally came this way, and she couldn't hide this expectation from her facial expression. Like c'mon, it was their anniversary, not just an anniversary, but their first anniversary.

Francis sat down on the couch near her and held Yzel's arm as he guided her to the seat next to him. After Yzel sat down, he reached for her other hand, and held it together.

"I know you didn't expect this," Francis began his words. He held Yzel's hands together. "I don't even know how to put it in words." He paused with Yzel's heart beat just getting louder and louder every time he paused.

"But..."

Yzel's eyes were blazing with happiness and glee as she waited for the next word his boyfriend would tell her.

"We've been together for a year, and believe me, you are one of the best things that ever happened to me. You are my inspiration at work, my hope in everyday life, you take the best version of myself that I can be. And I am truly grateful for that."

Francis looked straight at Yzel's face. Yzel was blushing as he continued telling her how great his life was with her in it. Francis' eyes, which were brown and calming, couldn't hide the emotion Yzel was trying to see. Those stares were not happy at all, but consoling. But Yzel just ignored it and as she wanted to say it together with him about her response, she planned to utter it the same time Francis dropped the bomb.

"l love you!"

"I want a break-up."

He said leaving Yzel jaw dropped and speechless as if she was frozen in her position.

"Wha-what did you just say?" Yzel asked, perplexed and hoping she misheard it.

"Let's break up," Francis cold-heartedly repeated with his gazes turning away from Yzel's.

"You wanna break up with me?" Yzel paused, then she continued. "On our first anniversary?" She asked him twice this time, making sure she was comprehending right.

"Yes." Francis only answered as he let go of Yzel's hand.

"Wow! Is this a kind of prank?" she protested. She stood up and faced Francis who was now looking downward. "Because this is not funny!" Yzel yelled at Francis, trying to shake his senses back on.

Francis didn't answer and Yzel turned around putting her arms unrestlessly on her head, then faced Francis again.

"What's wrong? What's going on babe?" Yzel asked Francis, trying to calm her nerves, not trying to let anger overcontrol her.

"We are not getting stable, Yzel. This kind of on-and-off relationship is getting us nowhere," he said.  He stood up to face Yzel.

"What on and off relationship are you talking about?" Yzel asked him, pretending not to notice the tears forming on her eyes.

"I don't understand. I just gone for a week, and instead of a bouquet, you wanna breakup with me," 

Yzel said with her voice cracking in every pause she made.

"We always fight with our schedules and our dreams just don't match our needs, babe. I work here, and whenever I need you, if you were not out of the country, you are just not here. We both need a concrete relationship to lean on, hold on to, to cheer us up, or even just to share a meal with. I just can't go on when everything is on the virtual and just a show," softly Francis explained as he reached for Yzel's shoulder.

"But things are manageable and we can work things out. You physically have me right now. I have here, at your front, I am present. What else do you want?" Yzel said. She was calm, trying to hold back those tears formed on her eyes.

"You are here right now, but until when?" Francis said. He tried to turn Yzel around to face him. Yzel's head was down as she was trying to keep it cool and not to let her tears go.

"We both need someone who will be there, physically Yzel," he continued. He held Yzel's face with her tears rolling down her cheeks. 

"I am sorry to hurt you, but, things are not just working out for us."

"Is this what you really want?" Yzel looked at Francis passionately, trying to absorb all this nonsense. With the question, she just let go, she hoped Francis didn't mean anything of this absurdity. 

"Yes, and you deserve better," with sadness he replied .

Yzel's tears automatically rolled down her cheeks. She was hurt and in pain from every word. Francis said to her. She was still hoping that these were all just a prank, a joke or a nightmare that she could just get awakened from. She was hoping none of this was unreal.

Yzel held Francis' hands against her cheeks, removing it from where his hands held her face and slowly turned around the room, with every piece of his memory of him.

What Francis said was true. With their dreams and goals that were not matching any of most of their schedule which brought more fights and arguments, it would be better off without him. No more compromising of themselves. No more pride hindering their egoes.

Yzel reached for her bag and got her phone. After a few minutes, she turned to Francis who was still standing on the same desk as he held her face.

"Can you please, at least, bring me to my hotel? I had just informed Marriot that I will be staying in their hotel for a while," clearing her throat, she said.

"You can stay a night here", he offered unconsciously. "You can use the guest room," he said. Francis went to the other room.

"Never bother," with a firm tone, Yzel replied. 

"Will it be easier for us to stay separately in each room when we used to share almost everything in your place?" She pointed out as she turned her back and got her stuff.

"It is not easy for me, and I want to respect myself for your needs," Yzel added. She walked herself out of Francis' apartment's door.

The Marriot was not too far from where Francis' apartment was located. It was late 12 midnight when they reached the parking lot and helped Yzel to book her room. Yzel, though independent from her family, always used to have someone do things for her. It would not be bad if Francis would somehow, help her get her room and help her to bring all her stuff. 

Yzel got out of the car and Francis unloaded her things. He was about to grab Yzel's luggage when she spoke.

"No, I don't need your help, anymore. I don't want you knowing in what room I will stay, or need your help with my luggages."

After hearing that, Francis let go of her things as someone came to assist her with her belongings.

"I want you to go now. I don't wanna regret choosing myself this time and I am afraid that I will let you know in what room I will be and hope that you will come for me," with a heavy heart, Yzel added. Soon the assistant pressed for the elevator button with her stuff.

Francis couldn't blame her anyway. It was so terrible that he had to break up with her, on the same day of their anniversary. He watched Yzel got on the elevator, with her heels sound all over the place. Yzel on the other hand, hoped that Francis would run after her, grabbed her arms and said that all of this was just play.

Yzel got off the elevator with Francis staring at her as the elevator guy pressed on the buttons. Yzel, who was standing right in the elevator, stared at Francis, as her tears rolled down her cheeks. 

As soon as the elevator closed, all her hopes vanished, same with the Francis shadow right after the elevator closed.