Chapter One

I know I'm acting crazy 

I'm stuck, feeling stoned 

With my hand on my heart, I'm praying 

To survive this whole thing 

The heart Wants What It Wants - Selena Gomez 

(...) 

Ella 

After an exhausting day, I finally arrive at my apartment and throw myself on the couch. The meowing of Tom, my fur ball, makes me look away. 

"Hi, my love. How was your day?" I stroke his soft fur and he rubs his head against my leg. You must be hungry, right? "As if he understood my question, he lets out a steady meow."

I laugh, shaking my shoulders. 

"Come on, starving man." Even without strength, I get up and he gets down from the sofa, following me. 

I go to the bathroom, take a relaxing shower under the warm water, and wash my hair, which hasn't seen water in days. 

I cover my body with a towel and step out of the shower and dry my hair. Without wanting to, my vision goes directly to the window of the apartment opposite mine and there he is. He is wearing only sweatpants, exposing his defined abdomen, with the lines running down the inside of the pants. 

I sigh involuntarily, almost groaning. I feel a warmth between my legs, my pussy gives a slight pulsing whenever I see that almost naked body. 

What a hot man! 

The sensation of heat is so great that it doesn't even seem like I've just stepped out of the shower. My mouth fills with water and I think how crazy it would be if I fell into this man's bed.  

No, Ella! Definitely not. 

I am brought out of my reverie by the ringing of my cell phone, or rather, the shouting. 

It's Mom. 

I can already imagine her daily speech that I need to go out more and have fun. 

"Hi, Mom." I answer, a little discouraged. 

"My daughter, how much Mom has missed you. You haven't called me for days."

"I'm sorry, Mom. I know I'm being a terrible daughter, but the work at the office has demanded a lot from me, it has been impossible to even think about a vacation." I sit on the bed, letting out a breath of air. 

"Ah, my child... You need to rest, go out and have some fun, for years your life has been monotonous, home, work, work and home."

I roll my eyes, because I already know this speech by heart. 

"I know, Mom. I promise I will take some time for myself as soon as possible."

"And that hot neighbor of yours, have you decided to give him a chance yet?" her voice is full of malice. 

"Mom!"

"What? Having sex doesn't take away anything, Ella. And you need it, you've probably got cobwebs in your willy." As crazy as she can be, she always manages to make me laugh. 

"You kill me. How am I going to have sex with a guy I don't even know and we have never exchanged a word?"

"I'm talking about having sex, not getting married, honey. Do you think your father was the first man in my life? I've made out a lot, angel. I may be old, but I know things."

"You know I'm not like that. Besides, I haven't had a man since Marcel. I don't even know how to do it anymore..."

"My love, sex is like riding a bike, once you learn it, you never forget it." 

"That's fine, Mom. But forget about it, I'm not going to sleep with my neighbor. He's really very hot, but I'm not going to fall into bed with just anyone, who won't even remember my name the next day." 

"You say that now, but it doesn't seem that way when you sigh, watching him through your bedroom window. I bet you have touched yourself several times thinking about him." 

"Goodness gracious! Let it go once and for all, Mom!" I don't know why I told her I have a hot window neighbor the day we were having lunch. I scold her for wanting to get too intimate with me.  

"Okay, the person who said that is no longer here."

"I'm hanging up, I really need to rest, today was one of those days." I put my hand over my eyes and yawn. 

"It's okay, honey. Come visit me as soon as possible, this old lady misses you."

"I will, I promise."

"I love you, baby. Take care." 

"I love you too, Mom."

We end the call and I end up laughing at her pearls. After my divorce, I decided to change not only my life, but also my house. Marcelo and I lived in another city, but after our separation I wanted to be closer to my parents - not that close, since we live in different neighborhoods. They live in Nova Iguaçu and I live in Barra da Tijuca.  

The cheapskate even wanted me to keep our old house, but I preferred to get rid of everything that connected me to him, and we sold it and divided the value. 

Tom meows, snuggling into my legs, waking me up from my trance. 

"Let's eat, my little angel." I get out of bed and walk to the kitchen. 

I fill his feeder with food and start to prepare my dinner to the sound of Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie.  

I finish chopping an onion, pouring it into the pan to saute in oil and turn up the volume on the stereo, rocking my body to the rhythm of the music.  

But when the chorus part comes, I can't resist and start twirling and jumping around. I pick up a spoon and follow the music as if the object were a microphone and I see my cat staring at me as if I had lost track. 

But I stop, immediately, when I feel that I am being watched and I was right. At that moment, if I could, I would stick my head in a hole. My neighbor is looking at me through the window as he eats what looks like an apple, cutting it piece by piece with a knife and with a little corner smile. 

Why does this only happen to me? 

His gaze sweeps across my body, reminding me that I am wearing tiny pajamas and forgot to close the curtains. 

I swallow hard and run to close them without facing him and smell something burning. Only then do I remember the onions I left on the fire.  

I run to the kitchen, turning off the fire and stopping the little smoke that has formed in the air. 

"Damn it! What a disaster, Ella." I cough twice from having inhaled some smoke. 

This just discourages me even more, because I am extremely tired from how my day has gone today. I decide to leave the kitchen behind and call a pizza place nearby. 

I put a series on N*****x to watch, while I wait for the pizza place to arrive.

Forty minutes go by and I hear my stomach growling. I can't wait any longer, and, already impatient, I think about going downstairs to see if the delivery man has arrived yet, but I give up, because this idea is a bit clueless. I imagine that because of the time that has passed, he is close to arriving - at least I hope so. I go to my room, put on a jacket, long enough to cover my pajamas and not show that I am without a bra. Already ready, I wait for the doorman to call on the intercom. 

Then the intercom rings, I practically run to it, next to the door. The doorman tells me that the delivery man is downstairs waiting for me. I thank him and grab my keys from the sideboard beside the door and walk out of my apartment. 

When I arrive outside the building, I see the delivery man standing on a bicycle. 

"Wow, what a delay, huh."

"Ella Murray?" the young man, who looks like he never gave up his high school pickup habits, asks me with arched eyebrows. 

"I am. Your service is terrible, I'm glad you make up for it with good pizza." I take the package from his hand and he laughs in a corner, seeming to be amused by my state. 

"I'm sorry, it's just that today is Friday and it's usually busy."  

"I should ask for a discount for that, but I'll be nice because I know it's not your fault. - I hand her a fifty-dollar bill."

"Thank you, miss." 

"Have a good day." I turn my body and walk back to my apartment. 

At the entrance of the building I bump into someone, causing the box to crumple and the pizza filling to get on my jacket and then all the contents to fall to the floor. 

"Damn it! You son of a bitch! Don't you watch where you're going?" I split my gaze between my clothes and the pizza crumpled on the floor. 

"Technically, you were the one who was walking distracted." Her deep, husky voice makes me look at whoever it is that I bumped into. 

I slowly move my gaze up his legs, stomach, chest, and finally to his face. 

Did it really have to be him? 

A rectangular face, dark skin, eyebrows neither too thick nor too thin, medium-brown eyes, thick and full lips, an unshaven beard, and a very well-made mustache. And he looks even taller up close. 

Wow, he is even hotter up close. 

And the smell? What a delicious smell! A mixture of testosterone and woody perfume. 

"How are you?" he asks, smiling, like a true seducer. 

I blink repeatedly, coming back to reality, where I am not dreaming of this man on top of me or with his head between my legs, making me have multiple orgasms. 

"No, it is not okay! Damn it! You ruined my dinner." 

"Was that your dinner?" pointing to the crushed pizza..." Eating nonsense like that, I just wonder how you keep this body..." He leaves the sentence hanging in the air and watches every curve of my body.

I roll my eyes and snort.  

"This is none of your business, and please spare me that cheap seductive look. I am vaccinated against guys like you.  

"Since I finished your dinner," he quotes his fingers, "I feel obliged to make it up to you. Can I cook for you? I guarantee you won't regret it." Winks at me. 

"No, thank you very much, but I'll pass." At exactly the moment I answer, my stomach rumbles, causing me to lose my temper. 

He laughs. 

"Are you sure? It seems your stomach disagrees with you." 

I let out a breath of air. 

"Okay, I accept. But let it be clear that it is only because I am starving and you have spoiled my dinner. Don't think you are doing me a favor and that I will return the favor." 

"As you wish, Miss..." - his voice sounds huskier than usual. 

I pretend to be unaffected by this and walk back to my apartment, hoping he will follow me.