“Hi, I’m Colin.” He held his hand out to me, and I stared at it uncertainly. I wanted to jump on him, wrap my legs around him, and kiss him until he fell on the lawn. But I held myself back, unsure, with my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. I couldn’t do this, could I? “Celia.” I looked around, uncertain, but with an ache to be in his arms that I could barely control.“I’d like to take you to dinner. Somewhere out of town, if you’d like.” “That might be nice.” I readjusted the bag slung over my shoulder and looked around. Nobody noticed us. Nobody whispered, they just went about their business and didn’t care. “Maybe somewhere with milkshakes?” “I know a place that makes the best peanut butter milkshakes you’ve ever had,” he replied, a grin on his face. He’d lost weight, and there were dark circles under his eyes, but in the gray depths, I saw hope. A plea for forgiveness. Something in me twisted, and my face followed suit. He rushed to me, took me in his arms, and held me t
I was fucking mad as Colin drove me to the clinic. I didn’t want to do this, but I soon as I woke up this morning, they’d insisted. They’d called a doctor to come in on a Sunday and paid him a fortune to run the blood test on me. It took an hour or so, but after what felt like days of chewing my thumb the doctor called us back to his office. “Celia, the test was positive,” he said bluntly and looked at the three brothers behind me. “She’ll need to rest too since she’s a little anemic. So, whichever one of you is the dad needs to take care of her until we can get her blood built back up.” “Of course,” they said in unison, and I blushed. I wasn’t sure I was ready for other people to know about us, but they would soon enough. I couldn’t think about that right now, however. I had a baby on the way.I’d gone to sleep, alone, terrified, but now that it had been confirmed, I felt calm. Maybe I’d freak out later, but for now, I was happy just knowing the truth at last. Now, I could go about
He’s actually kind of goofy looking.I thought to myself as my feet scuffed the gray utility carpet along the rows of books in the library. I shouldn’t have cared. After all, he was with Amanda, my arch enemy and not me. I didn’t even know his name. I wasn’t interested even if he was tall and built like a truck. His eyes were too round, like two lifeless marbles and they were too close together. On top of that, he always looked like he needed a shave. Not in that sexy billionaire that makes-your-panties-wet kind of way, either. More like a drunk that just rolled out of bed and put on whatever clothes he found on the floor for another day. That wouldn’t stop Amanda, though, not for one minute, even if he did have on the same gym clothes from the day before. She’d made a plan, a bet of some kind, back in our freshman days, that she could fuck a guy in every part of the campus. Not just any guy would do for Miss Amanda. She was determined to be the head cheerleader for Piedmont Universi
“I never understood why you wanted her to make you over and find you a man anyway,” my best friend forever, Brooklyn, said as I told her about what had happened at the library. Brooklyn was exasperated with me. “She’s a mean little bitch that is living the best years of her life right now. In a couple of years, she’ll marry some asshole, knock out a few babies, and have a drinking problem as hubby comes home later and later.” She was sitting on the steps of our building with me, dressed in dark blue jeans, a white turtleneck sweater that skimmed halfway down her thighs, and black boots. Her sable hair was in neat braids down her back, and she barely wore makeup, other than a maroon shade of lipstick that made her entire face become, somehow, more beautiful. I looked at her and wished I could be that beautiful without makeup on. I just looked like that nasty bit of water left in the sink after you wash dishes when I tried to go out without the bare minimum. “I wanted a chance to lose
“Have you talked to him yet?” Brooklyn asked me two days later, her left eyebrow quirked to emphasize her impatience. “I have, yes,” I sighed. My thoughts immediately ripped from my job to the incredibly tense text conversation I’d had with Kenny.It wasn’t tense on his part. It was me. I’d been so terrified he’d blank me that I’d barely been able to even pick up my phone when he texted me back. I’d sent him a text to say hello the morning after I’d talked with Brooklyn about finding a guy. “And?” She pushed me to answer, her body now closer to mine. “Tell me already, Nic!” “We’re going out tonight.” I turned away from her and back to the shelf in the library, where I’d been busy putting books away before she barged in to browbeat me. I didn’t want her to see the pleased grin on my face or the way my cheeks blossomed with hints of red. I could feel the heat and knew I was doing something I hated. Why did I have to blush all the time? It drove me crazy, but I couldn’t help it. “Gi
“Fuck him, baby girl,” Brooklyn said the next morning as we sat at a small café where we’d decided to get breakfast. Students paid $3 for a full breakfast, a cup of coffee and a glass of juice, so we often went there when we wanted pancakes or biscuits and gravy. “He’s just a stupid boy that doesn’t know what he’s passed up.” She poured blueberry syrup all over her pancakes and dismissed Kenny from her mind. She’d come into our room around 9 am, ten minutes after I woke up and she’d swept me into her arms. She’d seen the tide of emotions I couldn’t hold back anymore the instant she came in the door and she’d comforted me. She’d allowed me to blubber as I got the story out, and then she’d sat up to push me away. She’d marched me into a pair of jeans, one of my school hoodies, and a pair of granny boots that had seen better days, but I loved. We were now in the sunshine outside the café, eating our breakfast. I pushed my egg onto the pile of biscuits and gravy on my plate and started
Monday rolled around and I had to get out of bed at last. I’d spent the weekend watching movies and avoiding people and the Internet. It was too ‘peopley’. Late on Sunday evening, I took a shower and let my long hair dry on its own as I binge-watched some crime show on Netflix. It kept my brain occupied which is what I needed today even if I wasn’t in the mood to lounge around today.My breath appeared in white puffs as I walked to class, my head down and my hoodie over my head. I avoided eye contact, casual hellos, and brief nods with anyone throughout the day, and managed to get to work at the library with exactly zero interaction with anyone. I didn’t hate the world. I hated myself for being so stupid. I know that by now, I should be able to deal with the world and the fuckery that comes along with life. I should be able to stand with my head up and glare fuck-yous at everyone, but I couldn’t. I’d been stood up twice. In a row. I must be some kind of monster.I had to be, right?
I found our dorm room empty and silent when I opened the door. I locked the door in case Brooklyn came back. I didn’t want her to see the phone. I went straight to my bed and pulled Amanda’s phone from my bag.For a moment, I stared at it. A brand-new iPhone cradled in a pink case. I opened the front of the case and pushed the button to turn the phone on. I swiped in the code and looked at the string of notifications. There was little wonder she had such an inflated ego; she had 20 different guys trying to hook up with her. I removed all the notifications and went to her WhatsApp. There was a group chat there I wanted to have a deeper look at. I’d seen it earlier but couldn’t believe it was serious. Four guys and Amanda were going to hook up in Las Vegas after graduation? At the same time?I scrolled through the dirty texts and pictures that had been sent back and forth between all of them. I couldn’t believe there were any guys out there that would want to have three other guys with