He’s actually kind of goofy looking.I thought to myself as my feet scuffed the gray utility carpet along the rows of books in the library. I shouldn’t have cared. After all, he was with Amanda, my arch enemy and not me. I didn’t even know his name. I wasn’t interested even if he was tall and built like a truck. His eyes were too round, like two lifeless marbles and they were too close together. On top of that, he always looked like he needed a shave. Not in that sexy billionaire that makes-your-panties-wet kind of way, either. More like a drunk that just rolled out of bed and put on whatever clothes he found on the floor for another day. That wouldn’t stop Amanda, though, not for one minute, even if he did have on the same gym clothes from the day before. She’d made a plan, a bet of some kind, back in our freshman days, that she could fuck a guy in every part of the campus. Not just any guy would do for Miss Amanda. She was determined to be the head cheerleader for Piedmont Universi
“I never understood why you wanted her to make you over and find you a man anyway,” my best friend forever, Brooklyn, said as I told her about what had happened at the library. Brooklyn was exasperated with me. “She’s a mean little bitch that is living the best years of her life right now. In a couple of years, she’ll marry some asshole, knock out a few babies, and have a drinking problem as hubby comes home later and later.” She was sitting on the steps of our building with me, dressed in dark blue jeans, a white turtleneck sweater that skimmed halfway down her thighs, and black boots. Her sable hair was in neat braids down her back, and she barely wore makeup, other than a maroon shade of lipstick that made her entire face become, somehow, more beautiful. I looked at her and wished I could be that beautiful without makeup on. I just looked like that nasty bit of water left in the sink after you wash dishes when I tried to go out without the bare minimum. “I wanted a chance to lose
“Have you talked to him yet?” Brooklyn asked me two days later, her left eyebrow quirked to emphasize her impatience. “I have, yes,” I sighed. My thoughts immediately ripped from my job to the incredibly tense text conversation I’d had with Kenny.It wasn’t tense on his part. It was me. I’d been so terrified he’d blank me that I’d barely been able to even pick up my phone when he texted me back. I’d sent him a text to say hello the morning after I’d talked with Brooklyn about finding a guy. “And?” She pushed me to answer, her body now closer to mine. “Tell me already, Nic!” “We’re going out tonight.” I turned away from her and back to the shelf in the library, where I’d been busy putting books away before she barged in to browbeat me. I didn’t want her to see the pleased grin on my face or the way my cheeks blossomed with hints of red. I could feel the heat and knew I was doing something I hated. Why did I have to blush all the time? It drove me crazy, but I couldn’t help it. “Gi
“Fuck him, baby girl,” Brooklyn said the next morning as we sat at a small café where we’d decided to get breakfast. Students paid $3 for a full breakfast, a cup of coffee and a glass of juice, so we often went there when we wanted pancakes or biscuits and gravy. “He’s just a stupid boy that doesn’t know what he’s passed up.” She poured blueberry syrup all over her pancakes and dismissed Kenny from her mind. She’d come into our room around 9 am, ten minutes after I woke up and she’d swept me into her arms. She’d seen the tide of emotions I couldn’t hold back anymore the instant she came in the door and she’d comforted me. She’d allowed me to blubber as I got the story out, and then she’d sat up to push me away. She’d marched me into a pair of jeans, one of my school hoodies, and a pair of granny boots that had seen better days, but I loved. We were now in the sunshine outside the café, eating our breakfast. I pushed my egg onto the pile of biscuits and gravy on my plate and started
Monday rolled around and I had to get out of bed at last. I’d spent the weekend watching movies and avoiding people and the Internet. It was too ‘peopley’. Late on Sunday evening, I took a shower and let my long hair dry on its own as I binge-watched some crime show on Netflix. It kept my brain occupied which is what I needed today even if I wasn’t in the mood to lounge around today.My breath appeared in white puffs as I walked to class, my head down and my hoodie over my head. I avoided eye contact, casual hellos, and brief nods with anyone throughout the day, and managed to get to work at the library with exactly zero interaction with anyone. I didn’t hate the world. I hated myself for being so stupid. I know that by now, I should be able to deal with the world and the fuckery that comes along with life. I should be able to stand with my head up and glare fuck-yous at everyone, but I couldn’t. I’d been stood up twice. In a row. I must be some kind of monster.I had to be, right?
I found our dorm room empty and silent when I opened the door. I locked the door in case Brooklyn came back. I didn’t want her to see the phone. I went straight to my bed and pulled Amanda’s phone from my bag.For a moment, I stared at it. A brand-new iPhone cradled in a pink case. I opened the front of the case and pushed the button to turn the phone on. I swiped in the code and looked at the string of notifications. There was little wonder she had such an inflated ego; she had 20 different guys trying to hook up with her. I removed all the notifications and went to her WhatsApp. There was a group chat there I wanted to have a deeper look at. I’d seen it earlier but couldn’t believe it was serious. Four guys and Amanda were going to hook up in Las Vegas after graduation? At the same time?I scrolled through the dirty texts and pictures that had been sent back and forth between all of them. I couldn’t believe there were any guys out there that would want to have three other guys with
I had the best dreams of my life when I went to sleep that night. When I woke up with a smile on my face the next morning, I didn’t feel the least little bit of guilt either. Whether this panned out for me or not, I was about to wreck Amanda’s plans. That felt petty of me, but it also felt really, really good.Brooklyn came in, changed her clothes, and barely said a word to me. She wasn’t upset, she was just lost in a cloud of thought. “What’s up with you, Brook?” I asked as I put my jacket on and grabbed my bag. I might be a petty bitch now, at least when it came to Amanda, but I loved my best friend. “Nothing. Just… Well, I’ll talk to you about it later.” She gave me one of those smiles that isn’t reassuring at all but is meant to be. I frowned, my lips pursed to the right, but let her have her privacy for now. Kind of.“You’re okay, though?” I pushed one last time.“Yes, I’m fine. Really. Just a lot on my mind. We’ll talk later.” She put her hand on my arm then walked to the doo
For some people, going to a university means the first chance at real independence, or maybe they just want to delay the onset of adulthood for a little while longer. For others, going off to college or a university just means new opportunities to torture and bully others. I’d come to this place with hopes and dreams, a desire to be someone I’d never allowed myself to be. I’d worked hard all through high school to earn the opportunity that so many others were given and took for granted. I planned to be relaxed at this phase of my life; a little more outgoing even. I wanted to spend some time at parties and hang out with cool people that made me think. Instead, I’d had Amanda and her attempts to make my life miserable from the start. Attempts that succeeded for a very long time. I know the Rome brothers think it’s Amanda on the other end of the chat box, but despite that, I still felt my confidence growing with every day that passed. I turned in my final projects, and today I had to t