“Have you talked to him yet?” Brooklyn asked me two days later, her left eyebrow quirked to emphasize her impatience. “I have, yes,” I sighed. My thoughts immediately ripped from my job to the incredibly tense text conversation I’d had with Kenny.It wasn’t tense on his part. It was me. I’d been so terrified he’d blank me that I’d barely been able to even pick up my phone when he texted me back. I’d sent him a text to say hello the morning after I’d talked with Brooklyn about finding a guy. “And?” She pushed me to answer, her body now closer to mine. “Tell me already, Nic!” “We’re going out tonight.” I turned away from her and back to the shelf in the library, where I’d been busy putting books away before she barged in to browbeat me. I didn’t want her to see the pleased grin on my face or the way my cheeks blossomed with hints of red. I could feel the heat and knew I was doing something I hated. Why did I have to blush all the time? It drove me crazy, but I couldn’t help it. “Gi
“Fuck him, baby girl,” Brooklyn said the next morning as we sat at a small café where we’d decided to get breakfast. Students paid $3 for a full breakfast, a cup of coffee and a glass of juice, so we often went there when we wanted pancakes or biscuits and gravy. “He’s just a stupid boy that doesn’t know what he’s passed up.” She poured blueberry syrup all over her pancakes and dismissed Kenny from her mind. She’d come into our room around 9 am, ten minutes after I woke up and she’d swept me into her arms. She’d seen the tide of emotions I couldn’t hold back anymore the instant she came in the door and she’d comforted me. She’d allowed me to blubber as I got the story out, and then she’d sat up to push me away. She’d marched me into a pair of jeans, one of my school hoodies, and a pair of granny boots that had seen better days, but I loved. We were now in the sunshine outside the café, eating our breakfast. I pushed my egg onto the pile of biscuits and gravy on my plate and started
Monday rolled around and I had to get out of bed at last. I’d spent the weekend watching movies and avoiding people and the Internet. It was too ‘peopley’. Late on Sunday evening, I took a shower and let my long hair dry on its own as I binge-watched some crime show on Netflix. It kept my brain occupied which is what I needed today even if I wasn’t in the mood to lounge around today.My breath appeared in white puffs as I walked to class, my head down and my hoodie over my head. I avoided eye contact, casual hellos, and brief nods with anyone throughout the day, and managed to get to work at the library with exactly zero interaction with anyone. I didn’t hate the world. I hated myself for being so stupid. I know that by now, I should be able to deal with the world and the fuckery that comes along with life. I should be able to stand with my head up and glare fuck-yous at everyone, but I couldn’t. I’d been stood up twice. In a row. I must be some kind of monster.I had to be, right?
I found our dorm room empty and silent when I opened the door. I locked the door in case Brooklyn came back. I didn’t want her to see the phone. I went straight to my bed and pulled Amanda’s phone from my bag.For a moment, I stared at it. A brand-new iPhone cradled in a pink case. I opened the front of the case and pushed the button to turn the phone on. I swiped in the code and looked at the string of notifications. There was little wonder she had such an inflated ego; she had 20 different guys trying to hook up with her. I removed all the notifications and went to her WhatsApp. There was a group chat there I wanted to have a deeper look at. I’d seen it earlier but couldn’t believe it was serious. Four guys and Amanda were going to hook up in Las Vegas after graduation? At the same time?I scrolled through the dirty texts and pictures that had been sent back and forth between all of them. I couldn’t believe there were any guys out there that would want to have three other guys with
I had the best dreams of my life when I went to sleep that night. When I woke up with a smile on my face the next morning, I didn’t feel the least little bit of guilt either. Whether this panned out for me or not, I was about to wreck Amanda’s plans. That felt petty of me, but it also felt really, really good.Brooklyn came in, changed her clothes, and barely said a word to me. She wasn’t upset, she was just lost in a cloud of thought. “What’s up with you, Brook?” I asked as I put my jacket on and grabbed my bag. I might be a petty bitch now, at least when it came to Amanda, but I loved my best friend. “Nothing. Just… Well, I’ll talk to you about it later.” She gave me one of those smiles that isn’t reassuring at all but is meant to be. I frowned, my lips pursed to the right, but let her have her privacy for now. Kind of.“You’re okay, though?” I pushed one last time.“Yes, I’m fine. Really. Just a lot on my mind. We’ll talk later.” She put her hand on my arm then walked to the doo
For some people, going to a university means the first chance at real independence, or maybe they just want to delay the onset of adulthood for a little while longer. For others, going off to college or a university just means new opportunities to torture and bully others. I’d come to this place with hopes and dreams, a desire to be someone I’d never allowed myself to be. I’d worked hard all through high school to earn the opportunity that so many others were given and took for granted. I planned to be relaxed at this phase of my life; a little more outgoing even. I wanted to spend some time at parties and hang out with cool people that made me think. Instead, I’d had Amanda and her attempts to make my life miserable from the start. Attempts that succeeded for a very long time. I know the Rome brothers think it’s Amanda on the other end of the chat box, but despite that, I still felt my confidence growing with every day that passed. I turned in my final projects, and today I had to t
Graduation day. I stared out at the throngs of people as I marched in time with other graduates. It was finally here, that day I’d waited so long for. No more papers, no more exams, no more classes. I took a deep breath and listened to the speeches but didn’t actually hear a word anyone said. I looked around, wondering what each student would end up being. We all had hopes and dreams, the same as we when we started, but now we all had new directions to go in. I just had to take a little detour on the way. It was still early enough in the day that Mom and I would be back in Hickory in time to have a celebratory dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant there. I’d break the news to her that I was planning a short little getaway to Vegas over dinner. It wasn’t something I wanted to dump on her right away.I heard my name called, along with my degree program, and stood up to walk across the auditorium. That’s when I heard Mom break the rules and shout my name with so much pride it made m
I had a connecting flight in Houston, Texas, a place I’ve never been to in my life. I took a little time and looked around. The area I was in was surrounded by restaurants, cafes, and bars. People were buying beer at 9 a.m. like it was nothing. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal for them, but it surprised me.I made my way to the bathroom and wondered if I should put my makeup on now and change into my ‘hotel outfit’ here, or if I should wait until I landed in Vegas. I had another hour to wait here at the airport before my next flight. And then another hour or so on the flight. I decided it was best to wait. I’m sure the airport people had seen it countless times, so it didn’t bother me.I went to one of the restaurants and ordered the breakfast I’d skipped earlier. Just a sausage biscuit and some coffee and took them over to the waiting area for my flight. After I ate, I grew bored with just sitting there, so I started to watch a video on YouTube about where to go in Vegas. The Rome brother