" So...." I start to say.
" So....." Seems like he can't find the right words too.
"This it, then?" He looks at me in question.
" What?"
Avoiding his eyes and staring ahead, I respond. " It's over..." I trail off.
He shakes his head. " No it's not, I'm not leaving."
" No you are. You will go out there and enjoy the rest of your Summer."
" You can't tell me what to do, and besides, I've already made up my mind."
" Well I can. As a person who cares about you, I have the right to kick you out of here and make sure that you don't ever come back here again, only for visits of course."
He doesn't say anything and I crawl to kneel in front o
Today is the day, it's time to say goodbye.I don't think I can, but I know I'll have to. It's hard enough accepting that he's leaving, but to actually watch him do it, is another story. That's why we are both in my room, sitting cross legged and playing with each others hands." I think I'll buy myself a dictionary," he says." Thought dictionaries were too nerdy for you."" Well yeah but at least it'll remind me of you."" You make it sound like I'm already gone." I say.He chuckles. " Way to ruin the moment." He jokes and I offer a small smile with a shrug." You know this isn't goodbye right?" He mentions.I tilt my head to the side, avoiding his eyes. When I look at him again, I see a frown form on his forehead but before I can say anything, my eyes catch Vicky standing at the doorway.Our eyes connect and she n
It's almost been a week since his departure and I still miss him, but I'm not down or feeling disconnected with things, on the contrary, I'm much better. I'm actually smiling and talking more, evaluating myself and having a sense of positivity reign in me.To move on and keep this contentment in my life to continue, I know that I'll have to face other matters, which I might have avoided not so long ago, but now I won't, I have to let some things go.These are things from my past and the issues with my mom, and of course Luke, though they may have haunted me on some nights, it's important for me to not let them win." I thought you might run away from me again." Luke says." Maybe I should have."" Bailey - " I cut him off." But I won't. " I sit down and lean forward on the table." How are you ?"" I'll be fine and you?"
" You miss him, don't you?" Fiona asks , standing in front of me with Candy by her side.I don't say anything, but just look at them. They silently join me on the grass, where I've been sitting and quietly reading a book. The silence proves to be too much for Candy, I can already sense her about to speak, she talks, a lot. " We've been watching you and how - "" Now I feel stalked." I comment." No we don't mean it like that, just that - you smiled more when he was around." She trails off when I look at her.We remain in silence now, neither one of us having enough courage to say any more. Taking in a breath , I finally speak up. " Yes I do miss him and a part of me wishes he could have stayed."They both give me swooning , girly looks, making me feel weird now. " But I don't have no regrets about him being out of here, he'll get back to his life now."" And what about you?" Fiona asks." What about me?" I frow
Miami.Everything here is so big and alive.I can feel the fresh air for the first real time, both excitement and fear reigns in me of what to expect, I can only hope and accept whatever it is I receive, once I get there.The sight of the sea gives me a sense of adventure, a feel of freedom and just room for a long take of breath. The buildings, people and the beautiful moments that people share here. I just love how everyone might seem to be minding their own business yet the way they are doing it , shows how free and alive they are, that's what I want, to feel this sense of no care for the world but enjoy every moment like it's my last.It's so amazing how I've always wanted this, to travel and to have a sense of control over my life yet do something crazy at the same time. It's so surreal how a moment like this can be so precious yet so scary at the same time, truly nothing is impossible when you
Connor has not left my side, not once since he held me in his arms. It's as if he's afraid I'll disappear or something but I don't mind, I like this, his warmth and how natural and comforting it is.Now swinging lightly on the bench swing in the garden, we sit in a comforting silence, absorbing this moment. I move my head away from his shoulder when he says, " this is crazy."" I know, but I don't regret it, I had to see you and I - I missed you." He tugs me under his arm." I missed you too." He says kissing my head." Will you tell me how you did it?" He asks and I pull away, sitting upright and turning to him now." Does it matter?" I ask, avoiding his eyes." It will if you did something crazy," he says." Being here is an enough indication of crazy." I swallow hard, seeing as he's just staring at me." Tell me how you real
My eyes are practically bulging out of my eyes, the excitement is too much. I'm living, I'm truly living and it feels too good.The sun rising and at first look from a distance, almost red orange bringing out that mixture of colour, whilst giving me that magical feel which I'm a part of, the cool but chilly air has showered me with my first outer breath and the sea is too beautiful with its rhythmic movements.Nothing about a moment like this is real, it's like being transported into another world, a world of imagination, a world of true worth for living and just a moment of honesty, captivating both mind and soul.Connor kept his word and today is just about us, well more about me living again, taking my first big breath and just being me all over again. Connor had told me that he didn't want to take me to those big fancy places yet, but more of the small overlooked beautiful and intimate places, for me to get the f
"It's beautiful here." I say, looking around the beach house.Connor's mom had lent us this beach house for the time being, we would return anytime we wanted and tomorrow had been the best time, but knowing how much Connor was looking forward to seeing his brother, a few hours together sounded more then enough for us. I mean I just rocked up here when they already had plans.The house keeper of the beach house had thought that we were both engaged, it was such a funny thing to see, Connor acting all mucho and pretending to be my fiance, while I watched in amusement. At some point, I had no choice but to play along, thank God it didnt take long for her to be convinced, leaving us alone right after.We are alone now so I can actually take this all in and actually do what I'd intended to do for most of the day, which is to go swimming. The best part of this, is that this side of the beach is vacant and I get to have thi
What a rush, the beach, the feel of the water and those waves.I might be alone and experiencing this alone but damn I'm having such a blast, the sun is setting and I really hope he'll be back soon, since he's surely missing out on a lot of fun.What I love about being in the water is how freeing it is, being controlled by the water yet feeling on top of the world while gaining such a rush. I'm quite sure my voice is pretty much disappearing, and the cold is creeping in. Being in the water, the sun disappearing and me in this space, absorbing what I can while freely letting go. What more could I want?It's truly a gift to be able to let go and have a moment to be in your own space at your own time.Sighing after a minutes debate of whether I should call him or not, I groan out, feeling undecided.I'm already done with my swim and it was so refreshing, though it would have been cool i
18 years old.Today's my birthday and already I've been bombarded by birthday wishes from my mom and everyone else, when I mean everyone else , it includes Fiona and Candy, who's presents I've received early in the morning, including their phone numbers, email addresses and social media contacts.I swear when they got the news of me finally having a phone, it was like I won a million dollars or something, they were already making plans for updating me on the 21 century, and me being out there, though I've warned them countless times to not even dare try.I can't believe I've finally reached this age and am able to make enough decisions of my life, not that I will go clubbing and acting wild ,no, but being this age shows that I've grown and that my mom, might start viewing me more as a young woman than her baby girl.Looking ahead at the ocean and admiring it , as the sun takes its place, just the sou
~ Caleb.....I could be saying hi and asking about life right now ,but no, I'll just get straight to the point.Throughout all these years, I've gone through the worst of things in my life, adding that incident with you and your friends or accomplices as I'd prefer calling them. I've done all I could to erase that part of my life, I've failed, failed until I could rise upon that memory and situation, I have to say thank you to Connor for that big part.Seeing you again after so long, brought so much back , especially the fear I had each time I'd be consumed by the nightmares, looking back now, I realize that seeing you again, might have had me fearing for my life, yet finally facing my fears and past.I don't want you to apologise anymore, I don't need that so I have a peace of mind, expressing myself this way is a start for me to look into the future. I forgiv
Running, running and running, not getting to my destination but still energy being within me, I wake up still in the dark and being all sweaty, from my dream. I can't exactly call it a nightmare because of it being not scary but I can't say it's entirely a dream, because of how real it felt.Walking out of my room, tip toeing around so I won't wake my mom, I'm about to head towards the stairs, passing her room only to stay rooted by her ajar door when I hear her talking, I'm quite sure she's on the phone, with Keith maybe.I know it's rude to listen in on someone's conversation, especially your parent and I wouldn't be doing it, if it weren't for her mentioning my name." I honestly don't know what to do, " she says, sounding resigned.With the silence ,I'm quite sure that she's listening to whoever's on the line. " I've tried talking but she won't talk to me, Vicky her guardian from the centre came
Silence. That's all there is and was throughout my trip back home.My heart has been broken and hurt before but at this moment , having to break up with the boy I love, then leaving and ending my adventure like it meant nothing when it did, no words can describe the emotional state I'm in.As much as I'm hurting and all, and throughout all of this, no matter how much I'm hurt by my moms actions, some of what she's said is right. Yes, travelling and falling in love was something new and exciting, but I also have to put her first, the adventure was bound to come to an end soon, though I didn't expect it to turn out the way it did.Caleb's return or shall I say visit is one of the major factors and parts, of my adventure turning sour, I've known that one day I'd bump into all those who've messed my life but not so soon. You know, when your life has been a rollercoaster ride, you tend to just accept it and place it as a normality. My mom was right, I was
' It has to be. It's for the best.'My mom's words keep on ringing in my head while my eyes are focused on the door, waiting at any minute for him to show up.Not long after thinking this, the door opens and in comes Connor. This is what I've been dreading yet knowing full well that it has to be done.So before I jump right into this, My mom had a lot to talk about, well more like argued, chatted and then argued again and yep you guessed it, it's all got to do with Connor and my trip here in Miami.I can recall her words, hitting me so hard that I found myself in tears." Bailey, I can't lose you and you being here almost had me lose you. Hospital visits, I can't go through that again." She said, shaking her head." I'm sorry mom, " I tried apologising.' I know that travelling and doing this seemed like an adventure, I'm glad that yo
What a rush, the beach, the feel of the water and those waves.I might be alone and experiencing this alone but damn I'm having such a blast, the sun is setting and I really hope he'll be back soon, since he's surely missing out on a lot of fun.What I love about being in the water is how freeing it is, being controlled by the water yet feeling on top of the world while gaining such a rush. I'm quite sure my voice is pretty much disappearing, and the cold is creeping in. Being in the water, the sun disappearing and me in this space, absorbing what I can while freely letting go. What more could I want?It's truly a gift to be able to let go and have a moment to be in your own space at your own time.Sighing after a minutes debate of whether I should call him or not, I groan out, feeling undecided.I'm already done with my swim and it was so refreshing, though it would have been cool i
"It's beautiful here." I say, looking around the beach house.Connor's mom had lent us this beach house for the time being, we would return anytime we wanted and tomorrow had been the best time, but knowing how much Connor was looking forward to seeing his brother, a few hours together sounded more then enough for us. I mean I just rocked up here when they already had plans.The house keeper of the beach house had thought that we were both engaged, it was such a funny thing to see, Connor acting all mucho and pretending to be my fiance, while I watched in amusement. At some point, I had no choice but to play along, thank God it didnt take long for her to be convinced, leaving us alone right after.We are alone now so I can actually take this all in and actually do what I'd intended to do for most of the day, which is to go swimming. The best part of this, is that this side of the beach is vacant and I get to have thi
My eyes are practically bulging out of my eyes, the excitement is too much. I'm living, I'm truly living and it feels too good.The sun rising and at first look from a distance, almost red orange bringing out that mixture of colour, whilst giving me that magical feel which I'm a part of, the cool but chilly air has showered me with my first outer breath and the sea is too beautiful with its rhythmic movements.Nothing about a moment like this is real, it's like being transported into another world, a world of imagination, a world of true worth for living and just a moment of honesty, captivating both mind and soul.Connor kept his word and today is just about us, well more about me living again, taking my first big breath and just being me all over again. Connor had told me that he didn't want to take me to those big fancy places yet, but more of the small overlooked beautiful and intimate places, for me to get the f
Connor has not left my side, not once since he held me in his arms. It's as if he's afraid I'll disappear or something but I don't mind, I like this, his warmth and how natural and comforting it is.Now swinging lightly on the bench swing in the garden, we sit in a comforting silence, absorbing this moment. I move my head away from his shoulder when he says, " this is crazy."" I know, but I don't regret it, I had to see you and I - I missed you." He tugs me under his arm." I missed you too." He says kissing my head." Will you tell me how you did it?" He asks and I pull away, sitting upright and turning to him now." Does it matter?" I ask, avoiding his eyes." It will if you did something crazy," he says." Being here is an enough indication of crazy." I swallow hard, seeing as he's just staring at me." Tell me how you real