The day I chose love; the beginning of Defiance

Nora’s POV 

I stirred – and everything felt warm, too warm for me to be outside in the cold. I felt something warm under me; a blanket was nestled around my shoulders. I flung my eyes open, only to find myself in Liam’s bedroom – tucked in on his bed to be precise.  

It took me some minutes to figure out how I got to where I was. My head was banging, and my body was aching, but I managed to sit up, holding the bed frame for support.  

“Liam” his name came to my mind, as I wondered where he could be. I looked around the room hoping I would catch a glimpse of him, but I didn’t.  

“Has he left me again? Has he finally abandoned me now?” my mind raced and not minding how weak and tired I was, I rose to my feet, ready to go in search of him. I staggered towards the door and just as I was about to get a hold of the doorknob, the door flung open, revealing Liam, who was holding a mug of warm coffee.  

His eyes lit in surprise the moment he saw me. Carefully placing the mug he was holding in his hand on a cabinet close to the door, he rushed to me, saying: “Nora, you shouldn’t be out of bed. You collapsed earlier, remember?”.  

And with that, he gently guided me back to the bed, helping me have my seat.  

“Are you okay?” his gentle and concerned voice, which was laced with worry asked.  

I nodded, staring at him.  

“I ...... thought you left” my hoarse and trembling voice said. He kept mute – not uttering a word and all he did was stare blankly at me, his face devoid of any emotion.  

“I ... I waited” my voice cracked as I searched his eyes for an answer. I wanted him to say something, to react – to let me know whether he was still angry with me or not, but he didn’t budge.  

Silence consumed the room, and I found myself longing to hear his voice – to hear an answer from him.  

After the cold and deafening wait, he did.  

“I know. But did you have to do that? Did you have to wait in the cold all night? What if something had happened to you? Do you think I would be able to forgive myself?” he finally said, his voice a mix of anger, fear, concern and frustration. He was annoyed with me but at the same time, he couldn’t help but look out for me.  

“Because I had to see you, Liam. I needed you to know that I never meant to lie to you – to hurt you. I was just .... scared. Scared you would leave me if you knew who I truly am”.  

He ran his hand through his messy hair, as if he was trying to figure out the right words to say. He stopped – his eyes intently staring at me as if he were scrutinizing me. I didn’t know what was going through his mind – didn't know if he was deciding to stay or walk away for good.  

“Why did you do that? Why did you make me believe I knew everything about you when I literally did not?” he whispered quietly, as if he was talking to himself.  

“I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that the woman I have done nothing but love, is not who she claimed to be” Liam’s voice shook, laced with disbelief and heartbreak.  

Letting out a bitter laugh with pain screaming in his eyes, he said: “I was open to you, Nora – I never hide anything from you. I let you know who I am and who I wasn’t. How could you have hidden the fact that you are a different person .... a Mafia Queen at that?” 

Each of his words was a blade, slicing through my chest, straight to my heart.  

I swallowed hard, tears threatening to fall out of my eyelids.  

“I just didn’t want you to see me differently. I didn’t want you to look at me the way every other person around me does – like I am an eggshell which they have to walk on carefully. “ 

“That doesn’t justify the fact that you lied to me. You should have told me Nora!!” he yelled, hitting the sofa hard, which made me flinch. He rose to his feet, circling the room in anger. My eyes followed his every movement, my heart tightening at what his resolution would be.  

“You know the painful part, Nora?” he finally stopped, pointing his finger at me. “It’s the fact that despite how broken I was by the truth .... by your lies, I still couldn’t help but think about you. ‘Is she okay? Is she safe?’ those questions lingered in my mind despite how hurt I was.” 

“I .... I ... am sorry” I pleaded, with the tears I had tried so hard to fight back streaming down my eyes.  

“God knows I didn’t mean to hurt you, Liam .... I never chose to live this way. I just had no choice. I was born to live by my father’s rule, and I must. Before I met you, I thought I was living a perfect life but when I met you, I realized there was another life .... a sweeter one, apart from me claiming people’s lives.” 

“Believe me, I desperately want to leave all this behind me, live my life according to my own accord – be free from my father but I just can’t.” 

“You are the only one who cares about me, gives me a reason to live and makes me feel relaxed whenever I am with you. I thought you would take to your heels if you knew who I was. That thought alone scares me every day.” 

“I can’t afford to lose you, Liam. Please, forgive me.” I desperately pleaded, my hands gripping his legs tightly as I cried.  

Sighing, he lowered himself to my height and cupped my face in his hands.  

“Look here, pumpkin. I know you feared being alone, but you should have trusted me with the truth. True love is accepting your partner for who they are. And I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will never leave you” he assured, gently wiping my tears away with his thumbs.  

My face lit in surprise at his words.  

“Are you saying you won’t leave me? That you are going to stay?” my voice which came out barely as a whisper asked in confirmation.  

“Yes, I am staying. I am going nowhere and if by chance I am going anywhere, it would be with you” he assured, with a sad smile, displayed on his lips.  

My eyes became tearier at how easily he was trying to let go of my lies and the pains I had caused him. I threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly as if my life depended on it.  

“Thank you. I thought I had lost you” I whispered against his shoulder, silent sobs escaping my lips.  

“You almost did” he whispered sincerely, gently patting my back. But love isn’t supposed to be easy – it's supposed to be real. And the love I have for you is so real, that it terrifies me”.  

I clung onto him tightly, as if doing so wouldn’t pull us apart anymore. In that moment, silence filled the room and the only thing that beat were our rhythmic hearts – no secrets, no Mafia Queen – just us.  

My eyes drifted to my phone which was on the bed, and I saw a message pop up.  

It was a message from my father. It read - “Get home this second or you won’t live to see the next”. For the first time, I made up my mind to defy my father.  

I have chosen to be with Liam – to live a life different from my present one and for me to do that, someone had to either bow to my choice or die.  

And that person ...... was my father.