Chapter 8

Anita

After spending the last hour in the tub thinking, I had to tell Amelia the truth. She's smart for her age and understands more than you'd think. This lie has been eating at me and I can't live with it anymore.

After collecting the courage to talk to her, I walked out to the living room where they were all watching a movie. Amelia was the first to notice me and came to give me a hug. "I didn't mean to upset you," she says feeling bad and it made me feel more guilty.

"You didn't upset me, but I need to tell you something, something you probably won't fully understand. I was going to wait until you were older, but this has been eating at me and I can't keep lying to you," I choke quietly and the three adults watch in sympathy. I sat with her straddling my lap and looked into a pair of eyes that matched my mother's and mine. "I'm your sister, not your mother..."

"I know," she says quietly, unfazed by what I just said. That's until I saw tears fill her eyes. "I heard you talking with Daddy a few weeks ago when she came home from work during a storm. I just continued calling you Mommy because you're the only Mommy I have."

I take her in my arms as she breaks into uncontrolled sobs and tears fall rapidly down my cheeks. "I'm so sorry for lying to you Amelia. It just hurts so much to talk about them and I didn't know how or if I'd ever tell you," I say in a wavering whisper.

"Can I still call you Mommy," she sobs looking up at me.

"Of course sweetie, honestly it would be weird if you called me Anita," I say as I laugh through my sobs. I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and say in a choked whisper, "Our mother's name was Amelia. I had a twin named Avery and our brother was James Junior or JJ for short because Mom got confused calling for him or Dad.

"They were killed during a thunderstorm but we survived. The man responsible tried to kill Raven by running her car off the road," I choke quietly and feel Raven take my hand from next to me. I shutter a calming breath and squeeze her hand. "It's why I'm scared of storms and have nightmares."

Amelia touches the scar on my chest and asks curious, "Is that why you have this?"

Too emotional to speak at the moment, I nod vigorously. She lays her head on my chest and I hold her as close as possible. I shutter a relieved breath and kiss the top of her head. All the guilt I once felt, vanished.

I look down at Amelia after a few minutes and she was asleep, holding onto me. I look at Raven with relieved eyes and she reaches over to wipe my tears. "Feel better now that she knows the truth," she asks quietly to not disturb Amelia sleeping.

I nod lightly and she pats her lap, indicating for me to lay down. Holding onto Amelia, I lay my head on a pillow she placed near her right leg. Her fingers lightly comb through my hair and I let out a content sigh. The movie that was playing when I came down was now off, leaving the room in silence. Lexi was sitting in the arm chair next to the L shaped couch while Raven's parents were on the loveseat on the opposite side of the L shaped couch.

The relief from the guilt left me exhausted and Raven's fingers were soothing me. "Get some rest sweetheart, we'll have dinner when you wake up," Charlotte says with a light smile and I close my eyes.

Raven

Anita fell into immediate sleep and I couldn't blame her. Her emotions have been attacking her since my accident and I'm sure they overwhelmed her talking to Amelia. I can't imagine how she felt explaining something Amelia already knew because she overheard us talking a few weeks ago. The guilt in Anita's eyes brought me to tears when Amelia admitted she already knew the truth.

My heart wretched when Amelia asked to continue calling Anita Mommy because she was the only mother figure Amelia has known. Watching Anita fight back her emotions broke me. Seeing the relief in her eyes when Amelia accepted the truth made me feel relieved too. Keeping Amelia in the dark about everything has been crippling Anita, but she was protecting her from the danger that came with the truth.

Looking at them now, holding onto each other as they slept and I knew they had a bond stronger than I thought. They've always had this ironclad bond, but I didn't realize how strong it was until I watched them reveal the truth.

"Raven," Lexi says quietly, sitting near my elevated leg. I didn't notice her move from the arm chair or that my parents had left the room. "My Captain just messaged me. They found Joe's accomplice. He hasn't been to visit his mother in the hospital since your accident. He's dead."

I nod lightly and look at the sleeping duo as tears fill my eyes. I look at my left side and felt anger at the thought of Joe. I look back at Lexi and ask quietly, "What about Joe? Are you sure there's no one else?"

"Joe has a block to himself, meals get brought to him and a dozen officers guarding him in the showers. We don't have to worry about him. Captain made sure to pick cops loyal to Anita's parents to guard the son of a bitch," she says with gritted teeth. Her eyes soften as she looks over to Anita and Amelia and tears fill her eyes. "I don't know how she does it. How she holds herself together while completely broken on the inside?"

"I don't either and it amazes me everyday," I say with a smile looking at her sleeping face. "She often says she doesn't know what she'd do without me, but I don't know what I'd do without her."

"I don't know what she'd do without Amelia. Aside from you, Amelia is all she has and is lucky to be here," she chokes quietly and I nod in agreement.

While Anita was in surgery for the bullet in her sternum, Amelia was fighting against the trauma from the kick from inside the womb. The placenta ruptured and when she was removed by paramedics, she wasn't breathing. One of the paramedics was able to get her breathing but she was still touch and go for weeks.

Until Anita was able to see her, the doctors didn't think she'd make it. She'd be fine all day with Anita, but as soon as she was taken away, she would be right back to where she started. As the only living relative to Amelia and old enough to make medical decisions for her, Anita requested they share a hospital room until they were both able to be discharged from the hospital.

It was the same for Anita too. She'd have a strong heart rate and be breathing fine until Amelia wasn't with her. Once the doctors took notice of this they filled her request. They also took notice that both Anita and Amelia were at their strongest vitals when I was there. I was given unlimited visitors hours when they witnessed me calm her down from the first nightmares and thunderstorms after she gained consciousness.

Amelia would hold onto my finger as I fed her a bottle or snuggle against my chest when I put her to sleep. When she first called me 'Dada' tears filled my eyes. I saw Anita's reaction when she was first called 'Mama'. She held Amelia to her chest and broke into uncontrolled sobs. I knew at that moment what she was thinking and held them both until she calmed down.

I was there on the anniversary of that night which happened to be Amelia's birthday. How she sat there zoned out, holding Amelia while she slept peacefully. Neither of us slept that night as I kept her company in the finished basement as a storm went on outside. I was there when she needed someone to talk to, someone to hold her or just someone to enjoy the silence.

"Daddy," Amelia says softly, sitting in my lap.

I didn't realize she was awake or had moved in that matter. I smile at her and she looks at me with tears in her eyes. "Mommy was trying to get your attention, but the baby made her sick again."

"I'm sorry, I was thinking about a few things," I say quietly as Anita walks back in to sit next to me.

"It's okay, you looked like you were reliving a moment and decided not to disturb you," she says in a breathy whisper with her head on my shoulder. "Mom's finishing dinner and then coming to help wheel you in the kitchen."

"I can't thank you enough for what you did," I say quietly and she looks at me. "I wasn't expecting to literally run a restaurant. It was never something I expected, just cook for customers. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to continue that."

"I love you Ray, seeing you devastated about needing to look for another restaurant...," she says with tears in her eyes and shakes her head lightly. "I wanted to do this for you when you've done so much for me without hesitation. I didn't hesitate on my decision to do this, for you."

Anita

Later that night after Amelia went to sleep, I helped Raven undress for a sponge bath. Washing her body delicately made me realize how lucky I was she was alive. I can't imagine life without her and don't think I could handle it. I couldn't handle being away from her for those three days while she was in the hospital. What would it have been like if the results were different? Would I have lost our baby?

I snap out of my thoughts when her hand touches mine, with the cloth over her chest. Her face was blurry and it was then that I realized I was crying. We didn't need words in that moment as I helped her get dressed and took my place in her right side. Her arm held me as close as our bodies would allow with my head over the beat of her chest.

Hearing it's steady rhythm calmed me as she strokes my hair. She can't thank me enough for the restaurant and I'm still struggling to thank God for letting me keep her. I'll never take a moment with her for granted, not when I almost lost her. She's been my will to get through each day. She stays up with me when I have nightmares. She helped me getting through hundreds of thunderstorms.

I look up after a while and saw she was asleep. I was taking in her sleeping face when I heard someone enter the guest room. I look to see her mother and she looks at me with concern.

She motions me to follow her and I carefully slip away from Raven. She stays asleep and I follow her mother to the living room. We sat in silence as I knew she was waiting for me to say what was bothering me. I look at her as tears fill my eyes and she takes my hand.

"She doesn't know how to thank me for the restaurant, but I don't know how to thank God for letting me keep her," I say in a choked whisper and tears fill her eyes. "I'm still trying to thank him for Amelia, because I don't know what I'd do without her or Raven. I'm just relieved she understands why I lied to her about everything."

"I know sweetheart," she says in a soothing whisper and wipes my eyes. "What else is bothering you?"

"I feel like I'm stuck in a dream and when I wake up reality will hit me. The reality being she's gone and I won't be able to handle it," I say in a wavering whisper and she takes me in her arms. "Please tell me this is real. That if I go in there, fall asleep, she'll be there next to me when I wake up in the morning."

"She's still here sweetheart and she'll still be here in the morning when you wake up," she chokes quietly and I break into uncontrolled sobs.