Chapter 6

Anita

There was a huge storm coming in tonight. I didn't want to stay out in it and I didn't want to go home without Raven. I was torn between my decisions to make and it was making me emotional. Raven has been there for me with every storm since that dreadful night.

The terrified look in Amelia's eyes when the storm was mentioned helped me make my decision. I put her before myself and I didn't want to see the scared look in her eyes. I meet eyes with Raven and knew she knew I was going home. Worry filled her eyes and looks to Lexi. Lexi gives an understanding nod and I watch Raven relax against her hospital bed.

I walk over, caressing her cheek before leaning down to give her a kiss. As I turned to leave with her parents and Amelia, I felt her grab my hand. I look back at her, standing next to her bed. She kisses her fingers and places her hand on my stomach. Tears fill my eyes at the gesture and she takes my hand to kiss my engagement ring.

Lexi places her hand on my shoulder and I look at her as the tears fell rapidly down my cheeks. "It's just for the night," she says in sympathy, knowing that Raven has always been there during a thunderstorm.

I briskly walk passed her, Raven's parents and down the hall to the main lobby of the hospital. I felt someone hug at my side and look down at Amelia. Tears of her own fell rapidly and hid her face in my stomach.

The rain was starting to fall and the clouds grew darker. I knew there wasn't much time before the storm hit and turn my head to the waiting adults. Without a word, I took Amelia's hand and walk out to the car. We climb in the back, I get her buckled in her booster seat and she kept a tight hold on my arm with her head on my shoulder.

The thunder hasn't started and she was trembling. She's always been like this with the rain and it's worse with the thunder. The night she was born traumatized her and I was the only one able to calm her like Raven was the only one able to calm me.

I did some research after she was born. Apparently while still in the womb the fetus can still hear what goes on outside the mother. She could hear the thunder that night, the gunshots, our mother's screams. Screams that very much sound like my own. It's believed that a fetus can recognize voices when their born. Being I sound like my mother, my voice, my touch soothes her. A newborn is immediately familiar with the mother because of the fetal bond inside the womb. It's why even though I'm terrified of the storm myself, Amelia finds comfort with only me.

A slight shake to my shoulder shook me from my thoughts, following a low rumble of thunder. The eyes staring into mine were relieved when I kept calm. I wasn't calm, I felt numb, lost. I was lost without Raven and that seemed to overpower my fear of the storm.

I realize we're home, but don't remember the drive back from the hospital. I look down to see Amelia sound asleep with a death grip on my arm as if she were afraid to let me go. I carefully undo her seatbelt and lift her from her booster seat.

Lexi was about to take her, but I shook my head. Amelia would only freak out with the growing thunder and I'm fighting against my own fear of the storm. I knew she could see it in my eyes and quickly guided me to the soundproof basement. Tears fill my eyes as Raven's scent floods my nose.

She's alive. She's going to be fine. She has police protection. She'll be home soon.

I kept thinking those four sentences over and over again as I lay in bed, cuddled with Amelia. Her scent and lack of presence had tears soaking in my pillow. I close my eyes and try to imagine her in bed next to me. With calming breaths and my eyes closed I could feel someone lay behind me.

I look back to see Lexi and she wipes my eyes. "I know I'm not her, but I thought I could try so you could sleep," she says in a soothing whisper, concern in her eyes. "Your face was showing a mix of emotions while your eyes scream how exhausted you are."

"I can't sleep in a storm without Ray, I can't sleep without her period. I had a room upstairs before they finished the basement for me. I would wake up, screaming from nightmares, screaming from being woken from a storm," I say in a wavering whisper as my voice cracks with heavy emotions. "Ray would come running every time and hold me, rocking me. Before we realized our feelings, she'd kiss the top of my head in effort to soothe me.

"It took half a year to remodel the basement to what it is now. After a month into the renovation Ray ignored her parents wishes for us to sleep in different beds. I started having less nightmares and only freaked out during a thunderstorm. She strokes the scar on my chest when it gets bad and I can't sleep," I say in a shuttering breath as I calm down from talking about Raven.

Lexi cuddles at my back, reaching over me to stroke the scar on my chest. I found it soothing, comforting even. The only person to ever do this for me was Raven and now my adopted sister was doing it for me. I looked up to her as family since that night.

I focused on the slow strokes and matched my breaths to it. I felt sleep slip it way in and let my body relax against Lexi. I held my arms secure around Amelia as she snuggled closer to me in her sleep. As my eyes grew heavy with sleep Raven's parents came to check on me and Amelia. They always check on us when we stay during a thunderstorm like this.

I could see relief in her mother's eyes as she leans down to kiss my forehead. "Get some rest sweetie, I'll make breakfast in the morning and then we can back to Raven," she says in a soothing whisper.

"Don't go," I mumur sleepily as I close my eyes and feel as she lays on the other side of Amelia.

Raven

The look in her eyes before she left, it tore me apart not being able to go home with her. I'm always there for her during a thunderstorm. I remember when we first brought her home with us from the hospital, she had her own room while my parents were building a soundproof basement. The first month was spent waking up to her either screaming from nightmares or thunderstorms.

I'd run into her room, take her in my arms and gently rock her until the storm passed or she calmed from her nightmare. One night I went against my parents wish for us to sleep in different beds and let her sleep on my chest. The first night I stroked the scar on her chest, her body rigid at first. I kissed the top of her head, my arm around her back holding her close to me, protectively.

She moved her head over the beat of my chest, wrapping herself at my side like her life depended on it. Her heart pounding slowed as I continued running my finger over the mound of flesh. Her breathing calmed and slowed as my parents watched from the doorway in amazement. That night she slept peacefully while I stayed awake, watching over her.

I'm torn from my thoughts when my phone starts ringing. I'm quick to answer it thinking Anita was calling to help calm down with the storm. I noticed my father's name on my screen and answer the phone in a panic. "Calm down Ray, she's asleep," my father's soothing voice fills the phone. "Lexi is cuddled with her and your mother is facing her behind Amelia. They're both calm and asleep. I was calling to check on you."

"I was thinking about the first night I helped her sleep, I thought you and mom would be mad that I didn't listen," I choke quietly. "I've never been apart from her when it storms."

"I know Ray," he says in a soothing whisper. "Do you need me to come keep you company?"

"Please," I plead in a whisper.

"I'm on my way," he says softly and I let out a relieved breath.

"Can you bring something of Amelia's and Anita's, please," I ask, missing their cuddles.

"Of course," he says before ending the call.

I pick up the print out of our baby she left on the table next to me. Tears fill my eyes as a smile forms on my lips. Before meeting Anita, doctors told me and my parents that even though my testosterone levels were higher than my estrogen levels, I'd never have kids or it would be a low chance.

Looking at this printout was a miracle. It was proof that I was capable f having biological children and Anita is carrying one right now. I saw her reaction when I kissed my fingers before placing it on her stomach. She knew of the low chances of getting pregnant and I knew it bothered her more when she thought she lost me in my car accident caused by Joe.

I was torn from my thoughts when my father walked in with Amelia's favorite teddy bear and one of the first bears I'd gotten Anita. He hands them to me and I bury my face in them. I found comfort in Anita's lingering scent in the stuffed bear and let out a calming breath. I hug them both to my chest and meet eyes with my father.

"Feel better," he asks with sympathy and I nod lightly. "Try getting some sleep, your mother is bringing them after breakfast in the morning."

"Thank you for letting Anita and Amelia live with us after they were released from the hospital after that night. I'm not sure I'd have met someone who would have accepted me if you didn't," I choke quietly and he smiles lightly. "I probably wouldn't have a baby on the way or a fianceé."

"We saw the way she held onto you while waiting for paramedics to arrive, the way she looked relieved when you walked into her hospital room. We saw the way you tended to Amelia while Anita slept. We couldn't find it in us to stay no when you asked that we took them in," he says with tears in his eyes. "You may have only been a teenager, but we saw how responsible you were, taking care of them."

I woke to a kiss on my forehead and cobalt blue eyes already looking in mine. Unshed tears looked ready to fall with an unspoken question hidden in them. I didn't need her words to know she wanted to lay with me. I held my right arm up and she didn't hesitate on the invitation. She snuggled as close as she could, bringing me back to the first night I held her all those years ago.

"Don't make me sleep without you ever again," she chokes in a wavering whisper, sniffling back tears.

"I promise," I say in a soothing whisper and she lets out a calming breath.

I noticed Lexi in the doorway with Amelia and my parents and they all were relieved to see her calmed down. I kiss her head and drew her closer to me. She let out a relieved breath and let her body relax against me. It wasn't long before the sound of her even breathing told me she was asleep.

Lexi steps next to the bed, looking down at Anita's sleeping face. She smiles lightly, tucking hair from her face. I could tell she admired Anita, more than just an adopted sister. Her smile fades and looks at me. "We tried helping her sleep. She told me how you stroke the scar on her chest, I tried it, she slept for a little while, but couldn't get back to sleep. She had this unreadable look in her eyes and when I tried to get her to talk to me, she blew up wanting to come here."

"Anita isn't someone you can just walk up to and ask her what's bothering her. She shuts down and takes longer for her to say what's wrong," I choke quietly, knowing that after learning the hard way. "I tried it once and she went months without speaking."

"I'm sorry if..."

I shake my head for her to let it go. Anita grips at my gown, face scrunched up in fear. "Ray," she whimpers in her sleep, tilting her face up in my neck. I wrap my arm tighter around her back and she lets out a content sigh. "Stay with me?"

It's what she said every night after the first night we shared a bed. "I'm here, it's safe now," I say in a soothing whisper and her hold on my loosened just a little. She kept it tight to ensure I couldn't get up and disturb her sleep.

I look at Lexi and she was looking at Anita with sad eyes, knowing fair well she'd never stand a chance. Her phone ringing brings a sigh from her lips before stepping in the hall to take it. Is she someone else to look out for? I hope not. Anita has already lost so much. Losing Lexi as her adopted sister with crumble her already broken walls.