Chapter 1

Hazel's POV

People keep saying that in order to move on, you need to let go. But the thing is, it's not that easy. It never was, and never will. All it took was just one mess. One fucking mess, to change people completely...

How I wish to turn back time. I really do.

"Hazel..." Aunt Mary's voice brings me back to reality.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Aunt Mary, we've already talked about this..." I sigh, as I watch her trying to focus on the road.

"You better watch it, Ken is going to freak out if you end up at his ER on our first day in town." I add.

Kendrick Miller, the CEO of the biggest hospital here in downtown Chicago. I've never met him, but I heard enough from Aunt Mary.

The fact that someone like him will be the partner of my aunt, I'm quite thankful, and I wish them nothing but happiness.

"Don't you want to stay for a night though? Before you go to the dorm?" She asks, with that hopeful look on her face.

"Please??" She adds.

"Aunt Mary, I'm just going to stay at the college dorm... it's not like we'll never see each other again." I smile, as I assure her.

"But-"

"I promise I will come on the weekend, okay?"

"You better would, or I'll come to the dorm and bring you home with me." She replied, pretending to threaten me.

"Oh, I bet you will, Aunt Mary." I chuckle.

"But still, Ken would be delighted if you could join us even for dinner before you go to the dorm."

"I would love to. But I gotta settle down first at the dorm since tomorrow would be my first day at the college."

It's not like I did not like Ken. I'm glad that my aunt is happy, I am happy for her. But I need some space to clear my head.

And plus, I'm not ready, yet.

"Hazel, you know I wouldn't force you to do something that you don't like, right?"

"I know..." I do. She has been putting me first before anyone my whole life. Even herself.

"So, you do know that you can tell me anything, right? If there is something bothering you, or you're uncomfortable with, promise me that you tell me first."

"I will, promise."

*************

After what feels like eternity of convincing my aunt that I could handle myself, she finally said goodbye, leaving me at the dorm.

"You seem pretty close with your aunt." My roommate, Katherine, suddenly said.

"She's both my dad and mom." I chuckle, as my hand is busy organizing my books on the shelves that are on my side of bed.

"Yeah, judging from the way she literally cried leaving you here, I figured." Katherine replied that it made both of us laugh a little.

"So, what major are you in?" She adds, as she lays on her stomach, watching me from her bed.

"Economics."

"No wonder you bring all these gigantic books with you." Kathrine said, pointing at all my books.

"Katherine, no hate on the books, okay." I laugh a little.

"Kat. Just call me Kat." She said, as she laughed along with me.

Thank God I got a chatty roomie. It would be awkward if I got the one that is exactly like me. The one who's easy to approach and talk with, but only if the other person would be nice enough to start the conversation first, as I am not really the expert to start a decent yet not awkward conversation.

Yup, totally me.

"So, Kat, what's your major?"

"Music, and currently thinking that I might be into Art. Choosing music as my major is maybe a wrong decision." Kat replied, sighing dramatically. I smile hearing her answer.

"Don't we all?" Sometimes I do think that I've chosen the wrong major too.

Well, that's life. We often think about 'if'.

What if I choose this? Would my life be better? What if I didn't choose this? Would my life be less miserable than it already is?

"Your guitar is quite stunning by the way." I added, as I pointed at her guitar just beside her bed.

"Well, even though I feel like I don't love music as much as I did in my first year, this-" Kat said, as she stands to take her guitar.

"This is the love of my life!" She said, hugging the guitar while having that dramatic fake face that shows she's about to cry.

"Geez, you're being over dramatic." I laugh a little at her, starting to unzip my luggage.

"My mom gave this to me on my first day here at University of Chicago. This is what has been keeping me pursuing this major even though sometimes I just don't know if I love it anymore." She said, standing at the big windows on the corner of our room, as she slides open the windows.

All of it happens so fast, as the strong wind suddenly came into our room like it's been eagerly waiting to get in as soon as Kat opens the windows.

And there it goes.

"Fuck." We both speak at the same time. I immediately stood up in a heartbeat, standing beside Kat, looking down from our windows.

"Don't tell me it's-" Kat's voice stutters a little.

"Yes." I cut her off, as I stood there in horror looking at the figure below that 'it' just landed on.

"Is it-"

"It is." I said, more like whispering to myself.

My fucking panty just landed on someone's head. A guy.

"Ladies, which one of you owns this pink panty with white laces?" The idiot yells from below, and since our room is only on the third floor, I can perfectly see that stupid grin on his face.

He takes the panty, my panty, off his head, and waves it our way.

God, I already hate him.

Kat who's been standing watching that scene in awe suddenly burst out laughing hard.

"Oh my..." She said between laughs, currently holding her stomach.

"Kat-" I warn.

"Not helping." I add. What just happened? Is this really happening to me right now?

"I'm really sorry! For opening the windows, and for laughing. But this, geez, Hazel, this is gold." Kat said, truly amused by this ridiculous tragic embarrassing moment.

"Remind me to kill you after graduation, Kat." I said with a deep sigh.

This is seriously embarrassing. Oh god.

"Hello?? Your panties are waiting!!" That idiot yells again.

What the hell is he even thinking? Did he plan to announce this to the whole planet??

"Hazel, you better go downstairs before he makes an announcement searching for the panty owner." Kat adds, and of course still laughing.

I take a few deep breaths, while closing my eyes for a second, as I clenched both of my hands, trying to calm myself.

No big deal, Hazel. Just go down, take the damn panty, and leave that idiot to grins as long as he wants to.

"Should I deliver this to you instead??" That idiot yells again, looking straight at my face.

Oh fuck!

"That's Jordan, he has quite the reputation here, and I assure you that he will come upstairs to deliver it to you if he says so... Oh my god, this is so funny. Look at that, he-" Kat said, can't even finish her sentences as she is busy laughing at the current situation.

That idiot is still waving my panty proudly like it's a national flag. A few girls who passed him were giggling. He just stood there, still waving the panty with his one finger.

"I'm coming!!!" I yell back, turning around from the windows, walking to the door while silently cursing that idiot in my head.

***************

Be calm, Hazel. Be calm. You got this. My hands are sweaty, and I could feel that my legs tremble a little.

Remember what the doctor said, Hazel.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Think of something else. Something else... I'm trying to distract my own fragile, difficult minds. It took me a few minutes before I had the courage to look at him.

I stood there right in front of him, and now that I am standing in front of him, this guy is quite tall. He's wearing a black shirt, with jeans.

He had quite the strong figure, especially that jawline. That small dimple on his face clearly shows as he is currently grinning at me. And those blue eyes, if only he's not grinning like a total idiot, I would've enjoyed staring into those eyes a little longer. But nah, he's officially on my blacklist.

I reached out for his hand to take my panty, but he didn't let me. Instead, he tucks the panty behind his pockets, looking at me with that evil smirk.

What the hell??

"Uh-uh, not that easy."

I look at him with my wide eyes. His statement nearly gave me a heart attack. Should I be grateful that it's not a panic attack though, right?

"I beg your pardon, what?" I ask, still trying my best to be a civilized human. I look at him, utterly with disbelief.

"What's your name?"

And yeah, that's it. That's all it takes.

"Not your goddamn business." The hell with being civilized. This guy seems to be uncivilized to me. Starting from this very moment, I decided that he's not someone I should be civilized with.

"Kat?!" He suddenly yells, looking up towards Kat who is still standing there, but she is now currently eating something.

Is that-

Is that popcorn??

"What's her name???" He adds.

Oh no. He did not.

"Hazel!!!!" My so-called roomie just yells back, in a heartbeat.

Fuck. I glare from below, sending daggers towards Kat. I could hear her giggles.

"Thanks Kat!" He yells back, as he looks back at me, with that satisfied smile on his face which he proudly shows me.

"Yeah, thanks Kat!!! Thank you so so much!!" I also yell at Kat, sarcastically, as I roll my eyes.

"So, Hazel likes the color?" That guy suddenly said.

"Nope. Hazel like the 'it's none of your fucking business now' is it?" I replied, glaring at him.

But clearly my glares did not threaten him at all as he let out a little chuckle upon hearing my answer.

"You're new right? A freshman?"

Ugh. I let out a deep sigh, the annoyance that I had for this guy is clearly showing on my face. I bet that there is no way in hell that he didn't notice that.

"GIVE. IT. BACK."

"Or what?" He challenged, shrugging at me.

Did he seriously just ask me that? What is he anyway? A pervert?

"I said, give it back."

"Heard that already. And I said; or what?" He asks back, smirking, as he takes a few steps towards me.

No. Don't come any closer. I stops him as I put my hand forward right in front of him to maintain our distance, or more like-

My 'safe' distance.

"Stops." I said, and thank God he did. He looks at me, amused.

"Listen here, Mr. Panties-Lover-" He laughs a little as I continue.

"Even though your hobby is collecting these things, that doesn't mean that I'm going to let you have it, okay? You're just not worth it." I add.

"Oh, I'm hurt..." He said while dramatically holding his chest.

"I really do love my hobby though." That idiot adds.

"G I V E. I T. B A C K." I said every word one by one, with my eyes still shooting daggers at him.

If only glares could kill, he would've already died, for sure.

"I would love to! But where is the fun in that, right?" He said, smirking. God, I hate that smirk!

"God!! What is wrong with you??!" Yup. I totally lost it. The hell with being calm.

"I just met you for fuck sakes! Why are you making this hard for me?" I literally scream. Some students are currently glancing at our direction.

I won't even bother to look at Kat now, I know very well that she is still standing there with her popcorn like she's watching some movie.

All these attentions, oh god-

"Look, I'm truly sorry that my panty landed on your mighty head, okay? I really do." I tell him, truthfully.

"So, could we just end this ridiculous thing now, please?" I add, back to being civilized.

Be calm, Hazel. Be calm. I look at him basically with my most hopeful eyes. He stares back at my face, looking straight at my eyes for a few seconds in silence like he is in a deep thought.

My eyes light up as he smiles at me. Genuinely smiles at me. I smile back realizing that maybe he had decided to give it back.

Thank God. Thank God that finally all of this is over, and I can go back upstairs to kill Kat.

I let out a sigh of relief as he moved his hand, reaching for the pocket behind his jeans.

"Again, I am so sorry, and thank you..." I said, as I extended my hand to him, revealing my palm. I stood there in that position, waiting to finally hold my panty in my hand.

"Nah, maybe tomorrow." He simply said. It took me by surprise as he held out his hand to touch my hand that I just extended to him to retrieve the fucking panty.

He then jogs a little, leaving me there, completely speechless. I could still hear the way he chuckled as he was leaving me there.

The audacity.

I can't even move as I think how absurd this situation is.

Did he just high-five me in that position? With that very same hand which he just uses on his act, pretending to reach for the panties from his back pocket just now?

Did he??