I Loved You First

Seeing the frown on my face, Silas stopped laughing. Concern clouded his eyes as he stepped closer to me. “What happened? Your principal called and said you left school. Dad asked me to come check up on you.”

“Of course he did. I’m grateful.” Bill cared a lot—he was doing his best to be the ideal father, and I loved him for that. But what I needed right now was space. I needed time to think, to decide what to do with myself. I couldn’t do that with my stepbrother here. Silas was a goddamn distraction. Sometimes, I even forgot how to breathe when he was around. And the guilt I felt didn’t help. His words kept echoing in my head: Choose someone who loves you.

I thought Carter had loved me. I truly believed it. But now, the truth was glaringly obvious. Maybe he’d been using me all along—to get back together with Emily. He must have known that seeing us together would make her jealous enough to want him back. I was just a pawn in their game. The realization made me sick with myself. How hadn’t I figured it out sooner?

“Look, I... I just need time to think, okay?” I said finally. “I promise I’m not running away, if that’s what Bill’s worried about.”

“I get it. Where are you going?”

“The beach house. I was going to call Bill and ask if he’d mind me staying there for a while—”

“Of course he doesn’t.” Relief washed over Silas’s face, and I felt a pang of guilt. He must’ve thought I was planning to run away again. It wouldn’t be the first time. Thinking back on all the reckless, stupid things I’d done in the past, I realized just how tolerant my family had been with me. “Come on, at least let me drive you there. You can’t stay too long, though—a week or so. You still have school.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

Silas nodded and led me toward the car. I’d just opened the door to get in when another car screeched into the parking lot. My stomach twisted in recognition. I knew that car. I tried to quickly slip into Silas’s car, but before I could, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his side. Confused, I glanced up at him, but his eyes were locked on Carter, who was climbing out of his car and walking toward us.

“Kerry,” Carter said, his voice raw. He looked terrible. His usually perfect hair was messy, his face pale, and dark circles shadowed his eyes. It was shocking how someone could go from looking flawless to completely wrecked in just a day. Not that I cared. Carter was the last person I wanted to see right now. “Kerry, please, let me explain. I—”

“I don’t think she wants to hear anything you have to say,” Silas spat, venom dripping from his voice. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought he was the one who got cheated on.

Carter’s eyes snapped to Silas. For the first time, he seemed to notice how close Silas was standing to me. His expression darkened, anger flashing in his eyes. I suddenly felt like a rabbit caught in a trap. The tension in the air was suffocating, and I silently counted down the seconds, praying a fight wouldn’t break out. In that moment, I wondered if I should’ve just stayed in my room to avoid situations like this altogether.

“Stay out of this,” Carter growled. “It has nothing to do with you.”

“Oh, it has everything to do with me,” Silas shot back. “Since you dared to break the heart of the person I love most, I won’t hesitate to break every single bone in your fucking body.”

“I didn’t break her heart! It was an accident!” Carter turned back to me, desperation etched into his features. “Kerry, please, I didn’t mean to kiss her, alright? She kissed me, and I was too shocked to push her away. I was wrong, and I regret it. Please, just give me a chance to explain.”

His voice was earnest, filled with fear. I could see it in his eyes—love, fear, and a trace of possessiveness. His gaze flicked to Silas’s hand on my shoulder, glaring at it like he was about to rip it off.

I opened my mouth to respond but couldn’t find the words. Part of me wanted to believe him. It would’ve been so much easier if he’d outright cheated on me—I’d have something to be angry about. But the sincerity in his eyes told me he hadn’t. And then there was Silas, staring down at me like he wanted me to end things with Carter right then and there.

On one hand, I had a stepbrother teetering on the edge of obsession. On the other, I had a childhood friend who had loved me for as long as I could remember. Both men cared about me. And yet, why the hell did life have to be so complicated? Couldn’t I just have one guy for a change?

“He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness,” Silas broke the silence. “Break up with him.”

“Don’t fucking tell her what to do!” Carter snapped. “You just want her to break up with me so you can have your chance. Fucking pathetic.”

“Why shouldn’t I get a chance?” Silas fired back. “You had yours, and you messed it up. I love her the most.”

“I do! And I loved her first!”

“This isn’t a competition!” I snapped, silencing them both. They stared at me, their expressions unreadable. I could tell they were willing to keep arguing, to keep comparing who loved me more. But they also knew how overwhelmed I got, and they didn’t want to push me further. So considerate—both of them.

I took a deep breath, trying to clear my head. “I know you didn’t mean to kiss Emily, Carter. I get it. But that doesn’t make things any less complicated. She still loves you, and Emily is my best friend.”

“So what? You’re leaving me because you don’t want to stop being friends with Emily? That’s not fair,” Carter said, frustration creeping into his voice.

“I didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth. I just... I just need time to think, alright? We’ll talk more when I’ve cleared my head. I’ll be at the beach house—for a week, no more. If you’re that worried, you can visit.”

“Not,” Silas growled, his voice cold. I rolled my eyes at his aggressiveness.

“Fine,” Carter muttered. “But... we’ll talk after you get back, right? This isn’t the end for us?”

“No,” I said softly. “It’s not.”

Carter looked like he wanted to pull me into his arms—or kiss me—but one glance at Silas, who was seething at my side, made him think twice. “Alright, then. I love you, Kerry. Always have and always will.”

“I love y—”

“That’s enough,” Silas interrupted, shoving me into the car before I could finish. He flipped Carter the middle finger before starting the engine. Carter glared but didn’t retaliate. Instead, he climbed back into his car and drove off.

Silas sped down the street, muttering under his breath. “Unbelievable.”

“Sorry. I know you expected me to break up with him,” I said quietly.

“I expected you to stab him with that stake you keep under your pillow. I was ready to help you get away with murder.”

“That’s a joke, right?” I asked with a nervous laugh. The look he gave me told me it wasn’t.

I laughed anyway, because what else could I do? This was officially the most awkward moment of my life. Hopefully, it wouldn’t happen again. From now on, Carter and Silas needed to stay as far away from each other as possible.