CHAPTER 4: Dispatching Feelings

Edward’s POV

“The pillows and bed sheets are on the cabinet. You can choose whatever color you want.”

“You’re not going to do my bed?” I look at her in awe.

“You’re big enough to do it yourself, Miles.”

“Wow, so you do not care about me now.” She rolled her eyes and headed to the bathroom. She slams the bathroom door loud.

I was wrong to baby her in our relationship. Miles and I had a five-year gap. I’m already 25 while she’s just a 20 years old lady in her youth.

In the end, I am still the one who does her bed and brings her a glass of milk before bed.

“Good night Miles!” I said and kisses her forehead.

“I love you, babe,” she replied. I just smile and headed to the door. Before I finally closes her room, I heard these words, “I want us to have a date. Just some bonding for compensation to our relationship ruins.”

“Sure, anything for you. Sweet dreams.”

I headed to my room after.

I took a shower first and headed to my desk. I took out the documents inside my bag and browse the research data we found after several months of researching. If our subjects had an improvement or not.

While browsing my mail. I notice a new sender and a forming smile had been written on my face. Samantha De Vera is the sender's name. I immediately opened the file and saw that it was the software copy of our contract.

Once again I reach for my bag and find my hard copy. I touch the paper and her signature. I always had this odd feeling whenever I touches things which is connected to her.

“Your traces are enough to make me feel like crazy.” I look up and the ceiling warmly greeted my gaze.

“This feeling is not valid for a two-person who just meet for a short period. My instinct was telling me that I had known you for a long time.” I said softly while intently staring at her name written on this piece of paper I was holding.

“Who are you Samantha De Vera for real?”

The morning sun shines so brightly but it has a warm ray touching my skin. The wind breezes in elegance. The sound of peace is echoing nicely in my ears.

“Babe our foods are ready!”

“Okay let me help you carry that big basket,” I responded to her.

“What are you thinking Miles? These are big baskets and honestly heavy. What did you buy, a supermarket?” This joke makes her laugh out loud.

We caught several persons attention while they are waiting for their car here in the car park. Miles dress swings with the wind revealing her white thigh. Soon I heard a man’s whistle. I can’t cover her legs due to the heavily loaded baskets I was carrying so I just glared at them.

“Miles care to cover your skin?” I whisper.

“Huh?”

“The wind is blowing strong. Your dress is too short it can’t cover your thigh.” I hissed.

 “All men are already staring at you. Can’t you feel that?!” Due to frustration, I kicked one of the tires of my car.

My biggest hate in everyday scenarios was a man thinking bad or saying nasty things to a woman who's wearing revealing clothes. I mean, I was respecting their fashion choices but not all men are good men. By wearing that short or revealing clothes the demons inside nasty and maniac men are going to be alive. Sometimes when they take out of control, rape happens.

“Ow, babe you are jealous!” She giggled.

“I am not.” I scoffed and put all our groceries in my car’s trunk.

“Miles I am not jealous don’t make things complicated. As a man beside you, it was my duty to take care of you.”

I started the engine and look at the side mirror while driving the car backward just to get off here in my car's spot in which I park earlier.

I saw all the men who whistles at Miles in my side view mirror and they are all laughing hard while still looking at us inside my car. I tick-toe a battle of glare with them.

“No one is making this situation complicated babe. Look you are still flaming a fight with them. You’re the one making this hard. They are just joking.”

“Not everything is a joke Miles. As a man, I know what they are thinking.”

I drove fast. Not leaving my attention on the road.

When she responded I look at her, “Because you also think that maniac way in another woman, don’t you?” She scoffed and look away.

“I am not.” Averting my gaze with her and taking a gulp. In what part of this earth did she take that assumption. Girls will be girls.

“I’ve read a lot of books about human behavior Miles. It was all about learning the different gender of a…”

“Oh, oh, yeah. We already knew that.” She raises her hands-on air and rolled her eyes.

She turns on the music loud inside this car without even my concern and shouted to me her response, “Don’t try me your dirty little psychology tricks. I’m not buying that anymore!”

A minute later I harshly stop the car and turn off the radio.

“What are you doing!”

“What do you want to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.”

I ask her that question out of a sudden because I had a feeling that I started this fight. As a man in this relationship, I was responsible for fixing messes and fights whether I caused them or not. That’s a man’s role anyway.

We are heading to Starbucks. I decided to buy her favorite coffee and some bread even though she said she did not want it. Every time she said ‘she’s not hungry’ it always turns out that she was hungry.

The logic is like this, while I was asking her if she was hungry at that time perhaps moment she's certainly not. So, she would answer 'I am not hungry' but after she said those words when a moment passed, after I buy my food, turns out she was also hungry now. That's why lesson learned. 

Hungry or not buy her food. 

So, just in case, it was still better to buy her favorite to be prepared than to make this fight last long and complicated.

I just finish to buy her favorites and currently heading toward my parked car.

I was settling my seatbelt when she grabbed the plastic bag containing her food when I took it out on her in speed. She’s eyes are circling wide on me.

“I’m sorry Miles but I cannot give you this unless you’ll promise that you will change before we headed to the park.”

“Edward!”

In the end, we first headed to the mall before heading out to the park, as our next destination. Our real destination for this day. We’ve decided to spend our time together this Sunday since we haven’t taken care of our relationship these past months. We suck.

Rather, she sucks for hooking up with a stranger while I included myself in a scandal that turns out as a pure misunderstanding only.

“How about this jumper, what do you think?” She turns around and happily, jumps in front of me.

“That would be okay if the cloth is up to your toes.”

“What the hell babe! Where do you think that there are clothes that had been created like that?”

She’s mad again, though she still headed back to the fitting area once again. I mean who really wanted that kind of clothes it was a short-short with a cut on its front and a belt like a kid. Perhaps called a jumper as she said earlier. It was still revealing the entire skin on her legs.

Ladies today love showing off too much skin which made them lose their dignity as a woman.

Miles needs to be like her. I saw her wearing a formal dress last time and it still looks hot and gorgeous to her without even showing off a lot of skin. My point is, that women can still be perfect in the eye of a right man.

“See that looks good on you.” She’s wearing a plain light-yellow dress with a puffed shoulder and a sequence of weaves on the upper layer and a hat that perfectly matches the color of her dress.

“This is from DV’s new summer collection. It feels really light and comfortable.”

DV’s fashion brand seems familiar.

“You don’t need to dress for others, Miles. Listen to what your man says.”  

We finally came to the park and I currently doing our mat I was laying on the grass while she is taking pictures of herself.

“Babe are you not done yet? Can you take a photo of me here? Just for I*******m!”

This is one of my solemn duty as a boyfriend. Well, let me rephrase that. A solemn duty of every man when they are on a date with their girl.

“Can we do another shot? My face looks long here.”

I look at her in sadness.

“Oh, ow. Why are you pouting babe?” she said while laughing softly.

“Can’t we just eat first?” I may look like a child now but neither I care. The food is the only thing that my growling stomach wants right now.  

“Sure.”  

Miles and I are enjoying ourselves while sitting and exchanging stories here in the park. We’ve talked a lot, regarding all the things that happened in our lives these past months that we don’t contact each other.

I was laughing at her jokes when she suddenly grabs my face and pull her lips closer to mine. Before I can refuse, she already sucked my lips with her.

In my peripheral view, I saw a familiar figure of a woman staring at us in a distance.

‘Is that her?’

Samantha’s POV

“It was the park already wake up Sevi!” My little girl shouted in her brother's ears using her sweet tiny little voice.

Sevi wipes his hands to his eyes. I smiled.

After a long day of stress at work, they are the only vitamins that can give me the energy to continue living this dull life of mine.

“Unbuckle your seatbelts.”

“Yes mom, I will be going to find a perfect place for us!” After she said that statement, she eventually and hurriedly exits the car and runs towards the field of the park.   

This child of mine is still careless as she is.

“Baby, be careful with the running kids and the objects flying across the park, especially for balls.” He nodded and take his leave after.

I got off my car and carries the basket of our food and our mantel that we will use to cover the grass. The cloth in which we are going to sit.

“Mommy! This is the perfect place,” while shouting she’s also jumping and waving her hand at me.

“Yeah, coming!”

I just realized now that this basket I was carrying was loaded with heavy food. On my other hand, right hand, a tiny finger had a clasp on it. It was my little boy Sevi who was holding my other hand while we are walking together. He’s half smiling btw; he rarely does that.

“Are you happy today baby?” He responded with a nod.

The three of us help to prepare the mat and the food. Sevi took his book after and seated happily while the wind is strongly breezing.

“Mom let me show you the dance I learn at school,” Sava said and she stands up immediately.

Before I could even respond she already started to hum a tune and dance. I clap my hands loud to praise her after she finished her performance.

“It was for the family day mom, I hope you can come this year,” she pouted after she said that.

“Of course, I will certainly make it this year.”

Last year was a horrible year for us. Sevi’s trauma keep coming back and I had to put him in a hospital for observation. He barely eats and never wanted anyone to be near him. He loses a lot of weight that year.

I cannot complete my promise to Sava at that time due to the emergency of his brother. Sevi had a seizure in his room when one of my maids check on him. His mouth is releasing white bubbles and his body is trembling very, very fast. We rushed him to the hospital. At that moment I thought I would lose a child. It scares my bone real hard.

“You promise?” She said cutely.

I touched her flushed cheeks before I responded, “I promised.”

She suddenly hugs me and I felt a drop of water run through my arms.

“Baby, are you crying?”

“No. I’m not.” I smiled widely due to her voice. She’s crying and her voice can’t deny it.

Sevi stops his reading and walks toward us. He clings to Sava’s back and also hugs her. Sava stands and pushes him jokingly.

“I hate you Sevi don’t touch me!”

Sevi gets his emoji cards and finds Rudolf's picture of an animal. He shows it to us and points to Sava then the card next.

“I am not a Rudolf, your bad!” She’s in anger pouting is where she’s good at escaping the situation. I laugh because of them.

Then Sevi pointer his nose and mimics Sava’s crying.

“Mommy!” The three of us shared a peal of loud laughter.

“Mommy do you know the Doctor came to your office last time, he also said that I look like a Rudolf when I cry,” Sava said while starting to unwrap the napkin off her sandwich.

“Oh, really?” I just said and look away.

He got a likable aura in him, no wonder many persons like his personality. I don’t have any against his words. I just don’t like the way he delivers it.

Our first conversation on our first normal meeting each other is a disaster. However, before that chaos happened in my office, he approached me as his client in a very technical term of his job. His observations and process of solving things are not friendly at all.

I feel humiliated when he said that I am lacking in many aspects of my responsibilities as a mother to my kids.

If he really thinks of it that way, then that is his biased observation. For my part, he doesn’t know my struggles as a person. My day-to-day life basis and how I struggled to survive both my work and parenting with my kids. His conclusion doesn’t have any basis to support the analysis. His words are just assumptions.

“Mommy, are you listening?”

“Yes?” I startled. I almost drown myself through my thoughts again.

“I said look at that couple behind they are kissing,” Sava whispers to me.

I turn and look behind my back unexpectedly I saw his face. They are having their French kiss and his eyes are looking in the direction of us.

My feelings are unwell. Just like the clouds getting dark, my eyes are much darker than what I just saw now. So, he’s also like David, huh.

Maybe I need to dispatch my feelings for him.