"Let's talk," tipid kong sabi habang nakatitig sa kanya, Iginala niya muna ang mata niya sa buong kwarto at tila nagda-dalawang isip saka siya maingay na nagbuntong hininga bago marahang tumango. Tahimik siyang naupo muli sa upuang nasa gilid ko, at kung kanina ay isang kamay lang niya ang nakahawak sa kanang kamay ko ngayon ay dalawa na, na para bang doon siya kumukuha ng lakas ng loob niya, nakayuko lamang siya at nakatitig sa kamay naming magkahawak. I breathed out a heavy sigh before I spoke. "Thank you for all of these, Eli. Thankyou for coming in that night, thank you for saving me.." I mouthed in almost whisper, From our entwined hands below he slowly moved his eyes to meet my gaze. There's a lot of words unsaid that he's trying so hard to hide as I stare back at his doe eyes. Again, I sighed upon seeing his gloomy expression so I gently squeeze his hand on mine. "But.. I know what you're thinking right now Eli, alam kong sinisisi mo ang sarili mo and it's not right," H
Kinabukasan ay maayos na kaming nakakapag-usap ni Elijah, unlike yesterday which is he's too careful and afraid to say things that might trigger my panic attacks, today we're now kind of relaxed. Sa tingin ko ay nakatulong din yung pag-uusap namin last night. "It's your fault for putting me here in VIP room Eli, now don't try to argue with me. We'll pay the bill with my card." sabi ko dahil kanina pa kami nag-uusap about sa billing. I told him to pay it with my card but he'd just straight up saying 'no'. And it honestly doesn't sit right with me. This is a private hospital let alone that he chose a VIP room for me, surely the bill will have a big stroke on his account. "I told you not to think about it Antoinette, ang kulit mo naman talaga." nangungunsumi niyang sabi, he looked so done with me. "This hospital is private Eli. And this room is so expensive, it will cost too much on your account, let's just use my card." I tried insisting but he just frowned at me.I won't let him s
"And now we're home," anunsyo ni Eli nang makapasok kami sa unit Niya habang itinutulak papasok ang dalawang maleta ko. A small pout appeared on my lips upon hearing him."I still can't believe that she could throw me away like that without listening to my explanations," naiiling kong Sabi at naglakad papuntang sofa, "Atleast we tried our best, it's not your fault that you have some narrow-minded and inconsiderate neighbors," he tried comforting me as he watched me plop myself down on his black sofa,I'm glad that I'm somewhat familiar and comfortable here in Eli's abode but of course, I can't disregard the fact that I'm slightly embarrassed that I have to squeeze in here habang busy sa pag-aasikaso Sina Jemi sa paghahanap ng bagong apartment para sa akin; indeed I'm surrounded by wonderful souls around me, truly I am blessed for having them. "I'm gonna fix my studio room tomorrow so that it can be your temporary room, in case you wanted some privacy for yourself," he added whi
"Why?" Elijah asked me with both curiosity and worry in his eyes. I know it may sound stupid and unreasonable right at this moment, given that I'm in between of having panic attacks which are obviously caused by one and only Simon; but they can't blame me. I need answers and hindi ako matatahimik hanggat hindi ko iyon mismo naririnig kay Simon. For sure he has reasons, and I need to hear them. "I don't know. But I need to talk to him. I know it's not the best or wise decision to do right now given all the panic attacks and emotional stress he caused me, but I need to face him. No one's gonna help me to deal my own shits unless I do," pag amin ko. He sighed and looked away. "Fine. But you'll see him once you're done visiting your therapist. We still need to be sure that it won't affect your recovery," he concluded. I nodded and reached for his hand."Thank you so much Eli.." I mouthed and he just returned it with an upward smile. "As much as I dislike your request, I just can
Mag-iisang linggo na din akong nandito sa pamamahay ni Elijah. At kahit nga nakakapagod ang trabaho ko sa opisina ay akalain mong mamimiss ko rin pala ito ng sobra. Bagot na bagot na ako sa paulit ulit na panonood ng movie, paghiga-higa maghapon at nalinis ko na rin yata maski ang kasuluk-sulukan ng pamamahay ni Eli. Hindi bale, dalawang araw nalang naman at papasok na akong muli sa trabaho. Kahit nakakabwisit si Kairus ay akalain mo nakaka-miss din pala ang mokong na 'yon. But all in all, I was doing really fine habang nandito ako sa pangangalaga ni Eli. Akala ko noong una ay sobrang mahihirapan akong mag-adjust pero mali ako. Again, Elijah made sure that I'll be living comfortably here in his home, he made sure he's always there to check up on me from time to time. Kahit pa nga minsan ay busy siya sa trabaho niya ay nagagawa pa rin niyang maglaan ng oras para samahan ako sa mga kailangan kong gawin, kagaya na lamang ng pagpunta sa clinic para sa aking therapy for my PTSD. Though I'm
After my meeting with Simon’s mom, Elijah drove us back to his place. Both of us were silent and not daring to open our mouths to say anything. It’s been obvious that the talk didn’t turn out pretty well for me. I’m not blaming Tita Helen though, it’s just that my anxiety was really working up that made me react that way. Kahit noong makarating kami sa apartment niya ay hindi pa rin ako umiimik. I don’t know. I just don’t know what to say. All I want is to stay silent and let this night pass. Pagpasok ng apartment ay nagdire-diretso na ako sa aking kwarto. Yes, I already have my own room. Elijah managed to fix his studio and made it my room, despite his busy schedules. I was about to open my room but I was stopped after a subtle grasp on my wrist. “Hey.. wait.” Elijah called. So I bounce back and turn my neck to look at him. His eyes were worried and the obvious pity was seen in it. I sighed and looked away. “Look, I know and I understand that you don’t want to talk about it..
Sunday afternoon.“Are you really sure you’re okay going back to work?” tanong ulit ni Kairus. We were having a video call. Umismid naman ako at tinapunan siya ng tingin habang nagtitiklop ng aking mga damit. “Okay na nga ako Kai.” pagdidiin ko pa.“I don’t believe you. I can always talk to our boss to give you a few weeks more,” he offered again. Again, I rolled my eyes. “Thank you Kai, but I need to get back to work. I have bills to pay, nakakahiya na kay Elijah.” sabi ko pa.I heard him scoff kaya naman sinamaan ko siya ulit ng tingin. “For all I know, your best friend doesn’t mind having you there in his home.” “He sure doesn’t mind it at all but my pride says no.” I said as I walked back to the table and settled myself in front of my laptop.I smiled when I saw how Kairus’ face changed when I sat back and focused on him. He was outside, probably hanging out. Spending his day off in a cafe by the look of his background.“If you say so,” he muttered, “Anyway, I’ll send you l
I was busy with this proofreading but my mind can’t seem to focus because of that mini project Elijah is talking about. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba na pumayag ako sa project na iyon. Elijah is quite persuasive about it. And I trust his words so much that I accepted it after ng ilang pagpupumilit niya. I groaned and massaged my temples.Nakarinig naman ako ng mumunting tawa sa pinto ko kaya umangat ang ulo ko para tingan iyon. At nadatnan ng mata ko si Kairus na nakatayo doon habang natatawa sa akin. He has two cups of coffee in his hands and isang maliit na brown paper bag. “Kakabalik mo pa lang stress ka na kaagad?” naiiling niyang sabi saka tuluyang pumasok sa opisina ko. “I told you to just stay at home for a while, kulit mo kasi eh.” sabi pa niya at naupo sa harap ko. Agad namang umikot ang mata ko sa pinagsasabi niya. “It’s not what you think it is,” masungit kong sabi.“Eh ano pala?” tanong niya kaagad at saka iniabot sa akin ang isang kape. “This has nothing to do with wor
Our three day vacation at Elijah's family's house comes to an end. Akala ko ay hindi na magiging masaya ang mga huling sandali namin sa kanilang pamamahay matapos ang nakakagulat na anunsyo ni Tito Elias, but I think everyone in their little family already saw it coming, naghihintay na lang siguro sila ng panahon kung kailan ito mangyayari. Sa huli ay sinulit namin ang natitirang oras bago kami bumalik sa Maynila. Ako, Tim, Elijah and Tita Elena, the four of us went on a small escapade, we went shopping and ate in various restaurants downtown. I'm glad that Elijah managed to make his little family happy by spending time with them. At masaya ako na nasasaksihan ko ito. It's his small wins na alam kong hindi niya pinagtutuunan ng pansin dahil para sa kanya parte ito ng obligasyon niya, pero para sa akin na isang outsider sa kanilang pamilya, proud na proud akong makita kung gaano siya karesponsableng anak. "I'm still surprised that you decided to bring along home
Nakailang ikot na ako sa aking kama ngunit hindi talaga ako dinadalaw ng antok. I checked the time on my phone and saw that it's nearly 2am now. I kept on tapping my arm as I shifted from side to side. Until I decided to stare at the ceiling. I blew out a frustrated sigh as I recalled the scenario in the kitchen earlier. I admit, the unexpected scene which happened tonight really bothers me. Ganun ba kamahal ni Tito Elias si Victoria para tuluyan niyang iwan ang kanyang pamilya dito sa Pilipinas? My heart is really breaking for my best friend. He doesn't deserve this pain. Naiisip ko pa lang ang paghihirap ng kalooban ni Eli sa bagong balitang iyon ay nadudurog na ang puso ko para sa kanya. Alam ko namang wala ng pag-asa pa na magkabalikan muli ang kanyang magulang. Si Tita Elena na mismo ang nagpasya na wakasan ang pagsasama nilang mag-asawa ngunit hindi ko maitanggi na sa puso ko.. meron pa eh. May konti pa. May pag-asa pa akong nakikita. Nararamdaman kong mahal pa nila ang isa't
Kinabukasan ay maaga kaming gumayak ni Eli papuntang Supermarket. Kami ang naatasan mamili ng mga kakailanganin para mamaya sa birthday dinner ni Tita Elena. Kahit antok na antok pa nga ay hindi na ako tumanggi dahil bukod sa nakakahiya ay chance ko na din ito para makapaglibot libot sa lugar. Sa biyahe ay hindi pa din maalis alis ang kakulitan ni Elijah, ayaw niyang tumigil sa pang-aasar sa akin. “Akala yata ni Mama di kita inaalagaan sa bahay,” nakanguso niyang sabi habang nagmamaneho.“Nagsumbong kasi ako sa kanya na kinakawawa mo ‘ko.” pang-aasar ko naman. Tinapunan niya ako ng tingin at saka tumawa.“I know I fuck you too hard pero never kitang kinawawa, Anj.” My mouth formed an “o” shape after that bold answer, malaki din ang mata ko habang di makapaniwalang binalingan siya ng tingin. Mabilis lumipad ang kamay ko sa braso niya para paghahampasin siya pero natatawa niya lang na tinanggap iyon habang nagmamaneho.“Napakabastos mo!” Kahit kailan talaga yung bunganga
Sunod sunod na katok ang nagpagising sa akin. Lumakad ako papuntang pinto habang kusot kusot ang aking mata. Shit, hindi ko namalayang nakatulog ako ah.Pagbukas ko ng pinto ay bumungad sa akin si Elijah. Pinasadahan niya pa muna ako ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa. “So, I won’t ask you if you did sleep ‘cause it’s obvious.” he chuckled and pushed himself inside the room. Sumimangot naman ako habang hawak pa din ang door knob. Nang lingunin ko siya ay nakahilata na din siya sa aking kama. “Well.. you told me to take a rest,” “And I’m glad you did,” nakangisi niyang sabi.Inirapan ko lang ang sagot niyang iyon. Instead na isara ang pinto ay hinayaang ko lang na nakabukas iyon. I don’t want Tita Elena to think differently knowing her loving son is here with me inside this room. I walked towards the vanity mirror to check myself. My puffy eyes says that I slept really well. “The dinner is ready.” maya maya ay sambit niya.Sasagot na sana ako ngunit nagulat ako nang bigla ay h
I rushed out of the car as soon as we got to his home. My mind was clouded by anger and hurt. "Anjie!" tawag niya at narinig ko din ang malakas na bagsak ng pinto ng sasakyan niya. But I refused to look back at him, I refused to look at him! I was mad, ashamed, and deeply hurt to the point that I can't even look him in the eyes! "Damn it! Anjie!" he yelled again, and I heard his heavy footsteps as I entered his unit. He slammed the door at dire-diretso ako sa kwarto ko para mag impake ng mga gamit at damit ko, buong lakas kong binuhat ang maleta ko at ipinatong ko sa kama ko. I rummage through my closet at walang pakialam ko nalang na inilagay ang mga nakahanger at nakatiklop kong damit. My tears were in the brim of my eyes as I put all my clothes into my luggage."Fuck! Open this damn door, Antoinette!" he yelled again from the outside because I locked my room door, not wanting to see him."Leave me alone!" I yelled back as my chest keeps on rising and falling dahil
Elijah is standing there with Amber. Buhat buhat niya ang isang box habang ang isang kamay naman ni Amber ay nakapatong sa braso niya. Para bang galing sila sa masayang pag-uusap ngunit nahinto dahil dumating ako. “Babe,” alanganing tawag ni Eli sa akin. Ang mga mata niya ay gulat na nakatitig sa akin. Hindi naman nakatakas sa paningin ko ang mumunting ngisi sa labi ni Amber. So, kailan pa sila okay? Mabilis na bumitaw si Amber sa braso ni Elijah at humarap sa akin. “Hi, Anjie!” bati niya. Hindi ako timang para hindi mapansin ang peke at nakakalokong ngisi ni Amber sa akin. She’s too obvious. Since when did she become friendly to me? Tsk. Pero imbes na ipakita ang inis ko ay peke ko din siyang nginitian. “Hello, Amber.” bati ko pabalik saka mabilis na lumipat ang tingin ko kay Eli na ngayon ay papalit palit ang tingin sa amin ni Amber. Mabilis naman siyang kumilos para ipagpatuloy ang paglipat ng mga box papunta sa trunk ng pulang sasakyan ni Amber. I eyed the boxes left in
On the way to the mall, Eli hadn’t stopped and kept on teasing me about this-so-called “our thing”. At ako naman ay hindi pa rin humuhupa ang kahihiyan sa nangyari. He told me there’s nothing to worry about after I told him that I’m quite worried. However, even after he told me it was him who should worry, I kept on thinking that it might affect our friendship sooner. I kept on telling myself that it was an accident and we never meant it to end up that way. But Elijah told me that it was bound to happen anyway whether we’re drunk or not. Remembering what happened way back on the Boudoir photoshoot, there’s no doubt that we’d actually cross lines last night regardless of our friendship. Elijah wasn’t really trying hard to hide his body’s obvious lust calling and my attraction towards him did a great push as well to make everything happen. I know I shouldn’t be surprised about it but still, it worries me. I’d like to think that the lack of sexual action of the both of us from
My lips keep on twitching as I keep shifting on my seat every now and then. Elijah and I were both silent ever since we started eating lunch.Deep sighs were also heard between me and him. Alam kong pareho kaming may malalim na iniisip ngunit tila hindi kami pareho ng iniisip. Obviously, I am in deep discomfort while Elijah seems to be happy and relaxed. Nanatiling nakababa ang ulo ko at tahimik na nagfofocus sa tanghalian na niluto niya. I can’t seem to have the courage to look back at him despite the stares thrown at me by none other than Elijah himself. Hanggang ngayon ramdam ko pa din ang pag-iinit ng mukha ko at naiinis na din ako dahil tila ayaw humupa sa pamumula ang aking pisngi. I’m gulping hard down the food para lamang matapos na ako kaagad sa pagkain at makaalis na sa harapan ni Elijah. But then mukhang hindi pa siya tapos sa pang-aasar sa akin. I heard the clinking sound of his spoon against his plate followed by his loud huff. “Hey, stop ignoring me.” he demanded. A
With big and curious eyes, I watched Elijah stand up from his seat and walk into the corner. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and scribbled something on it with his brows slightly furrowed. Seconds after, a soft melodic sound started playing in the entire place. Constant by Jesse Barrera and Jeremy Passion played in the background. Agad kumalabog ang dibdib ko sa hindi maipaliwanag na dahilan habang pinapanood si Elijah na lumuhod sa harapan ko para hingiin ang aking kamay. “Can I have this dance?” he asked while smiling softly. I watched how the fairy lights shone and reflected through his doe eyes as he stared at me so fondly.I gave my hand as I stood up from my seat. We walked to the center part of the set-up. He placed his other hand at my back tightly pulling my body towards him. My right hand was placed on his shoulder. His other hand was perfectly tangled with my other hand. And we both danced in silence. Tanging ang malamyos lamang na musika ang naririnig sa pali