Chapter 13 - Evie and Claire

With a deep breath, I followed Evie up the stairs to my room. The silence between us was thick with unspoken words. When we reached the top, she opened the door and stepped inside, her shoulders slumping as if the weight of the world rested upon them. The room was a familiar sanctuary of pink walls and all of my books, so different to the turmoil I knew she was feeling.

I sat down on my bed and patted the space next to me. "Evie, you know you can tell me anything, right?" I asked gently. She hesitated before sitting down, her eyes avoiding mine.

For a few moments, the only sound was the distant clanking of dishes from downstairs. Then, she spoke. "It's just been so hard," she began, her voice trembling. "I don't know if I can do this."

"You can tell me anything. I miss our time together. Don't you remember how many sleepovers we had, and we were up until dawn talking about everything. We can do that again. This room has always been the non-judgement room. That hasn’t changed.”

Evie took a deep breath, her eyes filling with tears. "Remember the night we talked about losing our virginity?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

I nodded, my stomach tightening. That was over a year ago, a night filled with laughter and shared secrets, before everything changed. I was never going to lose my virginity to just some random guy. I just could not admit all of that to Evie. Definitely not my crush on her dad.

Evie took a deep breath, and I could see the weight of her words hanging in the air as she spoke. "I did it," she whispered. "The thing we talked about."

Evie looked at her hands, fidgeting with the hem of her dress. "My virginity was taken from me.

and I... I had an abortion." She spoke so softly that I almost didn't catch the words. The room spun around me as I tried to process what she had just said.

"What do you mean taken from you? When?" I managed to ask, my voice shaking. I was worried about what she was going to tell me.

"Several months ago," she said, her gaze still on her hands. "It was... it was after the party at school, I told you about. The one where I did not remember a lot about."

I remember the texts she had sent about being excited to go to a sorority party. Evie always wanted to fit in and this was her way to get into the sorority.

I felt the blood drain from my face as the pieces fell into place. The change in her, her withdrawal, the way she had been pushing everyone away. "Oh, Evie," I whispered, reaching out to take her hand. "You should have told me sooner."

Her eyes finally met mine, filled with a sadness so deep it was hard to look at. "I didn't want to tell anyone," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "But it's been eating me alive. I can't keep it inside anymore. I was raped at the party by my roommate's boyfriend."

I felt a knot form in my throat as the reality of her situation hit me. "You were raped?" I asked, my voice trembling.

Evie nodded, a single tear rolling down her cheek. "It was a mess," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't know what to do. I didn't even tell anyone until I found out I was pregnant."

The air in the room grew heavy with the weight of her confession. I didn't know what to say, how to make her pain go away. All I could do was listen. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Evie shrugged, her eyes searching the floor. "I didn't know how to. I was scared. Scared you'd hate me, scared it would ruin everything."

I pulled her into a tight hug, my heart breaking for her. "I could never hate you," I whispered fiercely. "You're my best friend, and you always will be." I looked at her and I could see that she was broken. I needed to be careful of how the rest of this conversation was going to go. "Is this why you came home?" I did not want to bring up the college thing yet, I didn't want to give away too much information. If I slipped up she could end up being mad at her dad for telling something she did not want out yet.

Evie nodded, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. "It just got too much," she admitted. "I needed to get away, to figure things out. Plus, the guy that did this to me, is in most of my classes. I could feel him staring at me all the time and I couldn't bear it anymore. I pretty much stopped going to classes, so I ended up on academic suspension. So, honestly, I am not sure if I am going to be able to go back at all. I don’t want to be where I am constantly in fear.”

“We'll figure it out," I assured her, stroking her hair. "Together. I promise to help you but you need to talk to someone. If you don't want to talk to your dad about it, you need to see a therapist." With that she jumped up and she looked furious.

"Thanks a lot, Claire. You think I am crazy just like the people at school. I am not one of your social work cases!! I am out of here. I thought you wanted to help me because we are friends, not because you feel sorry for me. Go fuck yourself, Claire!"

She ran down the stairs and out the door. I did not know whether to go after her or not.

Rawls came running up the stairs, looking concerned. "What happened?" I told him what she had said, and the color drained from his face.

“Rawls, I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. She didn't want anyone to know, especially you.”

"I am going to go to that school and kill that son of a bitch for even laying a hand on my daughter." I have never seen Rawls this angry. I am worried he is going to do something he is going to regret. He was about to walk out of my room, when I put my hand on his arm and closed the door.

“Rawls, please. You can't do that. Evie needs us to be here for her, to support her. She is not thinking straight right now, but we have to be the calm ones." I could see the anger in his eyes, but he nodded. He knew I was right.

I knew we only had a moment before my mom came upstairs, so I took the opportunity to kiss him. It was to hopefully calm him down, but also because I needed him.

Rawls was stiff at first, his anger a palpable force between us. But as my lips met his, I felt him start to melt. His arms wrapped around me, and the kiss grew more urgent, more desperate. He needed this as much as I did.

For a moment, we were lost in each other, the world outside forgotten. The passion in our kiss was a silent confession of the love we had been denying ourselves. But as quickly as it had begun, it ended. Rawls pulled away, his eyes dark with pain and confusion.

“I can't," he said, his voice gruff. "Not now. Not like this."

“I know, I just wanted you to know that I am here for you." We just stood there for another moment. I was resting my head on his chest, and I could feel his heartbeat.

"I am going to go home and make sure Evie is okay. I will text you later, little bird." With that he was gone and I immediately felt like part of me was missing.

As I sat on the bed, my heart racing, I knew that we could not continue this way. I needed him so much but now was not the time to tell everyone about us. We could lose everything in our lives. We were just going to have to be extra careful. This was not just about us anymore; it was about Evie and her recovery. I needed to go downstairs and try to explain everything to mom and dad. I couldn’t reveal Evie’s secret, but I needed them to keep watch on her just in case Evie needed help that I couldn’t give her.

I took a deep breath and walked downstairs to the kitchen where I found my phone sitting on the counter. I picked it up and called Evie, it went straight to voicemail. I tried again, still no answer. I texted her, “Where are you? I am worried about you.

Please text me to know that you are okay. I love you and we need to talk more. I’m here for you.” I hoped she would see it soon.