He Won't Let Me Go

Violet 

“I want a divorce!” 

I yell at him and throw the papers on his desk. 

Conor only looks at them briefly and then continues signing documents and going through the pile of work-related notes in front of him. 

“Are you listening to me?’

I ask, trying to keep my voice calm, and placing my hands on his desk. 

“It’s over, “

I say, “I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. “

Conor finally looks up at me, bright blue eyes- almost the same as mine - fixing upon me. 

“I am not signing this, Violet, “ He says, “You know that. “

He sounds indifferent. 

He doesn’t even care what I am saying to him. 

“Listen, Conor…”

I clench my teeth and force myself to take a breath. 

“I agreed to this marriage only because I needed the money at the time. We both know this marriage was never meant to work out. “

I finally admit what I should have said a very long time ago. 

“I don’t want this, “

I say. “Please, you have to let me go. It’s the only way for us to be happy. “

“I am happy. “

He says shortly. Then he leans back in his chair and adds. 

“Besides. You still owe me money.” 

His words felt like someone just threw a bucket of dirty water all over me. 

“I own you, Violet,” Conor says, slowly.  I see the pleasure reflected in his eyes when he pronounces the words.

He loves torturing me. It’s what he is doing now because he is right and I can’t do anything about it.

Conor is all about making me feel terrible. He’s very good at it.

“There’s nothing you can do,” he goes on, “ And you are in no position to negotiate. Stop wasting my time. I’m not giving you a divorce and you will owe me forever.” 

“I’m not your property.” 

I spit back and he grins.

“Oh yes. You are.” 

I hold his gaze. I’ve never hated him, but in moments like those, I am not so sure. 

“I'm going to give it back, and…”

I begin saying when the door of his study opens and his secretary shows up in the doorway. 

It's a new girl- young, blond and tall. I’d never seen her before. 

“Mister Hale, “ she says, beaming at him, “You have a meeting at eleven. “

Conor glances at his expensive watch and smiles at her. 

“Thank you, Lilly, “

He says, “I will be right there. “

“Yes, Sir. “

Lilly ligers at the doorway and then glares at me as she closes the door on her way out. 

“I haven’t finished talking to you.” 

I put my hands on my waist but Conor is already getting up. 

“And I have a meeting. “ Then he continues in an entirely different tone, his voice back to being formal as if he is talking to one of his subordinates.

“Tonight is the official celebration of grandfather’s birthday. “

Conor is putting his coat on, fixing the handcuffs of his designer jacket. 

“I expect you to prepare the present for him. Call for my assistant if you need help choosing something for him, although I am sure you know my grandfather tastes way better than I do. “

“Maybe your mother will love to take care of things,” I say, crossing my arms, “And I am pretty sure she’s already chosen. “

“What’s the problem if she already has?”

“The problem is she can’t stand me and she puts her nose everywhere, “ I think, but don’t say it out loud. 

Instead, I say. 

“Nevermind. “

“We have an agreement, then. I won't be home tonight, call my assistant if you need anything.  “

 He says all of this while keeping his back turned on me.

 As if I am not there.

As if what I say doesn’t matter in the least.

“I will see you tomorrow night. “ he says, “Wear something nice. “

Then he slams the door shut, leaving me alone in his huge office. 

I sit heavily on the nearest sofa and bury my face in my palms. 

He won’t give me a divorce no matter how hard I try. 

“That’s how he’s punishing me, “

I mutter and lean back, taking a look around the office. This office is the size of my old apartment, if not bigger. 

Conor is the oldest son of three of the Hale family- one of the richest empires in the UK. 

They owe the whole country. 

His grandfather was a politician, coming from one of the oldest and richest families in the country. They are direct relatives of the royal family. 

Despite their royal lineage, and their presence in politics, they are also businessmen, and owners of a huge petrol empire. 

His office is pretty, I think as my eyes slide down the French windows, overlooking the city. 

My phone rings and I pick up right away, trying to sound as if everything is fine. 

“Violet!” 

My younger sister’s cheerful voice greets me from the other side. 

“Hey, Evie. Is everything okay?”

“Yes, I’ve been calling you since morning! Where have you been? “

“I had a few things to do, “ I say, “So what’s up? “

“ I want to ask if we’re still having dinner tonight, but couldn’t get through.”

“Yeah, I…” I clear my throat and she instantly feels something’s off. 

“Hey… Did Conor do anything again?”

“He… he won’t sign the divorce papers, “

I admit, “The usual. “

“That ass!” 

She exclaims.

“Evie!”

I reprimand her, but she won’t stop. 

“I can’t stand him,” she says, “And I was right for never liking him, I am not going to start pretending I’ve changed my mind now. “

Then  she adds

“You shouldn't have married him, we could have found the money in a different way. “

“Really, “ I say, “Like how?”

My sister is silent for a brief moment, and then she whispers. 

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Val. I shouldn't have said that. ” 

“No, it’s… that’s fine.” I say, “We had no choice. Dad would have been dead if it wasn’t for the money Conor gave me.” 

Conor and I got married three years ago. I was twenty-three, and he was twenty-eight at the time. My mother had passed away the year before and my father had a business. But soon after Mom passed away, he got sick and we lost everything.  

My sister - four years younger than me - had just finished school. All responsibilities fell upon me. I wasn’t going to make it by myself, no matter what I did or how much I worked. 

Not after what happened with Dominic. 

Dominic…

“Conor has everything, “ I say, making myself stop thinking about Dominic ” Why isn't he letting me go.”

“Because he’s always loved you.” 

Evie says. “And if you aren’t his, you won’t be anyone’s. “ 

“I was never his in the first place,” 

I say quietly and Evie’s voice is full of affection when she says.

“I know.” 

The silence that follows stretches, my mind wandering off to the past. 

“Hey, Violet?” she asks, “Are you there?”

“Yes, yes, I’m here.” I lie and rub my forehead, “I’m just really tired. “

“I was asking if we are going to the cinema tomorrow.”

“I can’t.” 

“You can’t,” she says flatly, “Violet, I’m here only for the summer break, then I’m going back to France. I thought we’d be spending more time together.” 

“Tomorrow is Richard's birthday.” 

“The old Richard?” She exclaims, “The grandfather, the one who is also a lord?” 

“Yes, “ I say, “ That one.”

“And your lovely husband expects you to be there, I assume.” 

“It’s only natural he expects me to, “ I say, “the family doesn’t know he gave me money to marry him.” 

“They also don’t know you were in love with Dominic before he randomly left for the other side of the world, I assume.”

Her words catch me off guard.

“I don’t want to speak about this.” 

I say and she instantly stops asking. 

Conor has two brothers. One of them is Max- the prodigal youngest son, living the best of his life somewhere on the best beaches between Europe and South America.

 He is almost my sister’s age, supposed to be studying art, but in reality, he’s spending the family’s fortune.

Then there’s  Dominic.

He is only a year older and we met in high school.

He was also the love of my life before he left and I never heard back from him. 

My mind wanders to the past, to a place and a person I’ve been avoiding thinking about for so long. 

My mind brings him out to the surface again.

Dominic- Conor’s younger brother. The man who left me without even saying goodbye all those years ago. 

When my father got sick, Dominic was not even here, because he’d already left for the USA. He left me during the most difficult time of my life. 

Dominic doesn’t deserve me thinking of him. 

He’s past. It’s over. 

I tell myself for the millionth time.