Chapter 5

His mood changes in an instant. He looks like Sunny just asked one of the most dangerous questions that she could ask. The sweetness of the candy is already gone and his stares send shivers down her spine. If glares can do something to a person then maybe she’s dead and cold meat already. That’s how dangerous he looks right now.

You can do it. A minute passed and Sunny took something out of her bag and put it on the table in front of Havoc. It is Anna’s picture. She immediately catches the slight twitch in his eyes. Is that pain, longing, or… anger? Sunny is not sure about the emotion that she saw. Anna Servano. She has fair skin, and a bright smile, and she looks so very lovely. Her good personality can be reflected in the picture.

The photo was taken during Anna’s first date with Havoc; the only one left after he asked his secretary to burn every picture of her.

“Where did you get that?” he asked through a message. She can see the burning fire in his eyes. Why? Is he that mad at Sunny or there's a deeper reason behind it. 

“I borrowed it from Klode in the meantime. He’s the detective in charge of your case.”

“Burn that to hell!”

“I can’t. This is an item of evidence.”

“Burn it!” Sunny saw how his lips moved but no sound came out from them. The more she makes him angry, the more he becomes stubborn.

“Why are you being like this? Why don’t you just tell me about her? About your ex?”

He throws her a sharp glare that instantly puts Sunny in defense. He’s vivid and she knows it her fault. Sunny knows that provoking him is the easiest way for him to respond but also the most dangerous method. Sunny’s putting herself on danger.

Havoc can easily get his phone broken the way he’s holding it right now while composing a message for her.

“Stop making yourself a fool!”

“Fool? Shouldn’t I be the one to say that to you? 7 years have passed but you’re still grieving like this. No matter what you do, Anna will not come back. Do you think she’s happy seeing you cave yourself in guilt?” she asked calmly but determination is visible in her voice.

Havoc is about to explode but he’s doing everything he can to control himself. He’s mad like hell. He wants to hurt Sunny to silence her. His erratic breathing is a sign that he’s controlling himself from doing any harm to her. She should be scared, he wanted her to feel scared but she’s not showing any sign of it, and that frustrates him more.

“Can’t you get it?”

“Just because I play along with you, that doesn’t mean you can now mess up with me and ask questions that you know I never wanted to hear!”

“Just because I smile doesn’t mean I am happy with what you’re doing!”

“Just because I’m showing unusual responses doesn’t mean you can now keep on provoking me like this!”

She gripped her phone tightly while reading the texts that continuously popped on her screen. The longer she reads, the scarier he gets. Sunny can feel her legs getting wobbly even though she’s sitting on the couch. She knew she has entered the devil's cage and she doesn't know how to get out. 

“For a smart woman, you are doing such a stupid thing. This method is a terrible idea. If you want me to speak, it will cost your life.”

“SO. STOP. WHAT. YOU. ARE. DOING.”

“Don’t wait for me to kill you!”

Sunny was startled when he stands and throws his phone. It hits the wall behind her and creates a loud crash which almost makes her scream. Havoc. Destruction. The more she looks at his eyes, the more it’s looking like the pair of eyes of a murderer. She can’t help herself but shows the fear on her face. Sunny is really scared. Everyone who would be in her shoes would feel the same way.

“I don’t k-know… that talking about someone you love… can make a person looks like a… murderer” She deeply heaved a sigh before continue speaking, “Aren’t you overreacting right now? Don’t you want to remember her memories?” 

“Stop!” he voicelessly utters to her. His fists are now clenched and slightly shaking.

But she didn’t stop. This is the only way. Her observation is right about him. In his case, the only way for him to cooperate is through provocation. “If you care for her, don’t lock her memories into your dark world. You love her. You miss her. You always remember her.”

“Stop!” his mouth moves again. Her provocation makes him want to speak again. Yes, she’s right. Provoking his weakness will eventually urge him to speak and voice out his thoughts. And Havoc only has one weakness, Anna Servano, the woman he loves the most.

Sadness is visible in her eyes when she looked at Anna’s picture. “I feel sorry for her. That should not be the reaction of a person when he or she’s talking about the person he values the most. You like you detest her. You shouldn’t --- ahhh!”

Sunny screamed in pain when Havoc suddenly grabbed her by her forearms. Her body is now buried in the couch she was sitting in. But this time, she will not make the same mistake of showing him her fear.

“I’m not scared of you, Havoc.” she lied, “The more you are unwilling to cooperate with me, the more willing I am to cure and heal you.”

“I will kill you!” she saw it right, the words that forms on his mouth. Sunny can’t go wrong.

She swallowed hard, “You need help, Havoc. Don’t stop yourself from getting some help, don’t stop me from helping you. Let the people around heal you.”

“Stop!”

Havoc felt like something got stuck on his throat when Sunny holds his hand on her elbow and gently pinched it. “Aren’t you sad being alone, having no one to lean in to? Don’t you want to live a happy life? Don’t you missed the warmth of being alive again?”

He didn’t respond. Until now, until now no one can really understand me.

“Don’t you want to be normal? Don’t you want to get healed? What are you afraid to? You experienced the worst by seeing how Anna died right in front of your eyes and I will repeat this a hundred times over, that’s not your fault.” she continued. Sunny can saw the certain confusion in his eyes.

“Stop, please!” he utters again. But this time, it lacks conviction. Her words is affecting his mind.

“Let me in, Havoc, Let me help you. Let me cure you. Let yourself be healed.”

Havoc is really confused. There’s a reason why he chose to be silent, there’s a reason why he doesn’t want to talk to anyone, on why he chose to hide from the outside world. He doesn’t want to be cured. But why now, just because Sunny said so, he wanted to try now. He wants to cross the opposite side of the river. He wanted to see the bright side of the world that he shuts a long time ago. 

I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be happy again. I want to be the Havoc before I met Anna. But how? I don’t have anything left in me. How can I start, Sunny?