Chapter 8. Eavesdropping

Helen invited a few of her friends. I asked Liz and Jordan to come. Bonnie and River showed up, as well. Xavier and Lyle took off across the yard. Bonnie and River carried big presents up to the house. I smiled at them and led them inside. Everyone sat the gifts down in the dining room. 

“Helen is still working on the food. She's in the kitchen,” I told Bonnie.

Bonnie smiled and kissed my cheek as she passed. “Lyle sure does look like River,” Bonnie murmured to me.

I smiled and nodded in agreement, “I know.” 

River and I turned to face Liz and Jordan. They gave us a curious look.

“Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but that boy is yours,” Jordan said.

River didn't answer. He looked down at me.

I pursed my lips and shrugged. Everyone will find out. It’s just a matter of time.

“He is,” River confirmed.

“Told you,” Jordan said to Liz.

“Are you two placing bets?” I accused.

“With Beau and David too,” Liz admitted. There wasn’t the slightest bit of shame in her voice.

“Wow. Really?” River asked in irritation.

Jordan laughed and shrugged. “I won,” Jordan said and smirked. “I knew that kid was yours. He looks more like you than Xavier looks like me.”

River chuckled.

Liz grabbed Jordan's arm and pulled him toward the door. “Let's go watch the boys,” Liz suggested.

“Very subtle,” I teased.

Liz gave me a devious smile then shoved Jordan out the door.

I smiled and shook my head. I looked up at River.

River stared at me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the living room.

We sat down on the couch together.

“How did Lyle take it?” River asked quietly. He traced the back of my hand with his thumb. It took everything I had not to scoot closer to him.

“Not bad for a four-year-old,” I said. “He asked me if you were mean.”

River sighed and rested his head against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling.

“I promised him you weren't. I strongly advise that you do not raise your voice at him. He'll probably get scared and think I'm wrong,” I warned him.

River nodded. “‘Kay.”

I groaned at the awkwardness; I hated it.

“What's wrong?” River asked. River’s gaze flickered to mine.

I settled down into the couch and leaned my head against the back of it too. My hand was still in his. My skin tingled at the touch. His thumb rubbed the back of my hand as he stared at me.

“I hate how awkward things are with us now. Five years ago, we were anything but awkward with each other,” I said without looking at him.

River grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. His lips were an inch from mine. His eyes pierced mine as he spoke. “I didn't mean to act like I did yesterday. It's just when I saw you with him, I thought...” River trailed off. His gaze fell to my lips.

My heart pounded against my ribs. My gaze fell to his lips. He moved closer and hesitated. Just as I was about to close the distance, a voice came from in front of us and made us jump apart.

“What are you doing?” Lyle asked and smiled at us.

“Nothing. Just talking,” I said breathlessly.

“That didn't look like talking.” Lyle's smile grew bigger.

“Food is done!” Helen yelled.

“Cake!” Lyle yelled. He ran out of the living room.

I smiled. This was Lyle’s first real birthday party. He never had one before this. I made him a cake and bought him a couple of toys every birthday, but there was never a party. This birthday he was loaded with toys, and he got an even better cake. He seemed to be making friends with Xavier, which was adorable.

Everyone ate quickly.

Helen brought out the birthday cake, which was way bigger than necessary.

Lyle's eyes widened, and he licked his lips. We all laughed at his reaction.

We sang happy birthday to him.

“Make a wish, Lyle,” I said.

Lyle looked at River and me. Lyle smiled widely and blew out the candle.

After everyone ate, Lyle opened his presents. Lyle got a bicycle from River and a remote-control hummer from Bonnie. He got a bunch of toys from Helen and me to play inside with. He got a couple of toys, and outfits, from Liz and Jordan. Helen's friends all bought one toy and one outfit for Lyle.

“River, Dallas, stand beside Lyle so I can get a picture,” Helen said.

“River is outside,” Bonnie said.

“What?” I asked, confused.

River appeared in the doorway. “I have one more present for you,” River told Lyle. Both Lyle and I's eyes widened in surprise.

Lyle wasted no time. Lyle jumped off the seat and took off outside.

I stopped on the front porch. “Oh my god, River!” I screamed. I turned and scowled at River.

“What?” River asked innocently and leaned away from me.

“You bought him a four-wheeler?” I screeched.

“I mean, he is four years old. It seemed like the perfect gift. Besides, it was four birthdays that I had to make up for,” River said.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him.

“Dude, that is fucking awesome!” Jordan said. Jordan stood beside us and admired the four-wheeler.

“I bought a helmet, knee pads, and elbow pads. What more do you want?” River asked and chuckled.

I shoved River in the chest. “You can't buy him stuff like that. He's too little!”

“He can handle it,” River argued. “It only goes 35 miles per hour. Relax, legs.”

Liz's jaw dropped in horror.

“Only?” I shrieked.

“Mommy, can I please ride it?” Lyle asked. He came up and pulled on my sleeve.

I looked down at my son worriedly. I turned and narrowed my eyes at River. “If Lyle gets hurt, you're going to hurt even worse,” I threatened.

River rolled his eyes. “He'll be fine. Besides, he'll be the only four-year-old in town with a four-wheeler.” River wiggled his eyebrows.

I snorted and laughed a little. “Whatever.”

“Yay!” Lyle yelled.

River grabbed Lyle and carried him down into the front yard. River hovered over Lyle and explained to him how to drive it. I pulled out my phone and took a picture. It was kind of cute, I had to admit. Lyle reminded me so much of River.

***

“Am I supposed to call you dad?” Lyle asked River.

I stopped at the screen door. I wasn’t usually an eavesdropper, but I was curious about what River would say.

“No, you can call me River if you want. Don't get me wrong, I would like it if you eventually called me dad, but I understand you just met me, so no rush. Okay?” River looked down at Lyle. They sat on the steps. Everyone had gone home. Helen and I had the party mess cleaned up.

“Can I ask you something else?” Lyle asked and looked up at River.

“You can ask me anything. I'm not sure if I'll have an answer, though,” River said.

“Do you think that Mommy is pretty?” Lyle asked.

Rivers jaw dropped.

I bit down on my lip. I didn’t want to laugh and get caught spying on them. My hands shook as I awaited the answer.

River chuckled. “Alright, I'll make you a deal. I'll answer that question if you answer mine afterward.” River held his hand out.

Lyle took his hand, and they shook on it.

I smiled widely.

“Deal,” Lyle said.

River sighed. “Apart from you...” River trailed off. He made fists with his hands.

I tried to make sense of his tension. He really doesn’t want to answer this question. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt Lyle’s feelings or worried I’ll hear it.

“Your mother is the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on,” River said softly. It was like he was trying to hide some kind of emotion, but I was unsure. “Now, why did you ask me that, man?”

My stomach fluttered, and my lips parted in surprise. No, he couldn’t mean that.

“If you think she's beautiful, why did you break up?” Lyle asked. The curiosity was thick in Lyle’s voice. That question washed a sort of sadness over me. It wasn’t like we could tell Lyle the truth. Lyle was too young. He didn't know what sex was. I couldn’t tell him he was a product of a one-night stand.

“Oh boy,” River said and looked away. River sounded nervous as he answered. “That's not a very easy question, Lyle.”

“Yes, it is,” Lyle argued.

No, it isn’t.

“No, trust me, it isn't, little man. Look, I don't ever want to lie to you. So, I sure as hell won’t start now while you're so little,” River said. “How about you ask me that question in like ten years.”

“Why not now?” Lyle asked.

River exhaled sharply. “You're too young. You wouldn't understand. I made some bad choices, and it got me into some trouble. People got hurt, including your mom, unfortunately. Believe me, I would do anything to take it back, but life isn't like that. You can't fix what is already broken. Did you ever break something you couldn't fix?” River asked him.

Lyle thought about it for a long moment. “This one time, Jax almost hit me because I broke a cup, but Mommy protected me. Mommy got hurt, and after she felt better, she threw the cup away. It was my fault she got hurt.”

River and I both held our breath the entire time Lyle talked. I looked down at my feet, and tears built in my eyes. I hated that he saw that. I prayed one day he would forget all about it.

River finally exhaled when he couldn't hold it any longer. “What happened with Jax was not your fault, Lyle, don’t ever think that. I'm sorry you and your mother went through that. I'd do anything to change that. There are good people in the world who make dumb decisions, and there are bad people in the world who make even worse decisions. If that's what you're worried about, Lyle...” River trailed off and shook his head. “I'd never for any reason lay a hand on you or your mother. Not all men are like that. My dad wasn't like that.”

Lyle nodded and then looked out to the front yard. “So, you and Mommy are broken?” Lyle asked.

“Your mom and I have been through a lot together. We were friends for a long time. She grew up here, and I grew up just one ranch over. We spent a lot of time together. The truth is, your mom and I are just more focused on raising you than anything else. We've both got so much going on,” River explained to him. “Sometimes, people can't bounce back from their past too easy.” It sounded more like he said it to himself.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters? I know Mommy doesn't,” Lyle said.

River smiled. “I have one younger sister and an older brother.”

“Where are they?” Lyle asked.

“My sister is in Washington State, going to school, and my older brother passed away a long time ago,” River said.

“Oh,” Lyle said. “How?”

“Motorcycle accident,” River said.

I decided to interrupt. I opened the screen door. They looked over their shoulders at me. Hearing them talk about Phoenix made me sad. I could only imagine how it made River feel. Phoenix was River's older brother, and they were close.

“Lyle, I think it's time you say goodnight,” I said.

Lyle stood up and yawned. Lyle turned around and hugged River.

River embraced him tightly.

“Night, Daddy,” Lyle said softly.

“Sweet dreams, boy,” River said quietly.

Lyle stopped at me.

“I'll come to tuck you in,” I said.

“Okay,” Lyle said. He walked into the house. The screen door swung shut behind him.

River stood up and turned around to face me.

Some part of me felt nervous, like he knew I was eavesdropping.

“How much did you hear?” River asked.

I bit down on my lip to hide the smile that threatened to explode from me. It didn’t fool him.

River rolled his eyes. “Of course,” he snorted.

I blushed. “Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.”

River twirled his keys around on his finger. “Sure,” he teased. “My sister is coming home next weekend. Can I bring her to see him?”

“Nah,” I said. River looked at me confused, but I continued before he could argue. “But he can go to your place and stay for the weekend if you want. Tell Willow I will stop and see her Sunday.”

River smiled. “Really?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yeah. I trust you,” I said and shrugged.

“Okay. I'll grab him Friday night then?” he asked.

“Yeah, I'll pick him up Sunday night after supper or something,” I said. I had never been away from Lyle overnight.

“Sounds good to me,” River said. He turned away and headed down the steps.

I stared after him as he climbed into his truck and pulled out. I turned around and walked inside to go tuck Lyle in.