Chapter 7. More Coffee?

"Did you two sleep well?"

 I stirred in confusion and opened my eyes. I blinked several times.

Bonnie stood at the foot of the bed.

My gaze fell on River, who was squinting up at his mom.

“How about some breakfast?” Bonnie asked. Bonnie giggled at us as we groaned.

River threw the blanket over us. “No, thanks,” River said and buried his head into the crook of my neck.

“Come on; breakfast is made,” Bonnie said. Bonnie’s footsteps descended from the room.

River inhaled deeply and wrapped an arm around me.

“I should get home, River. Lyle is probably wondering where I am,” I told him.

River groaned. “Nah. I vote we go back to sleep.”

“I've got to go to work,” I said and yawned. It was Friday, something dawned on me, and I groaned again.

“What?” River asked. His voice still thick with sleep.

“Nothing. Do you want to come over on Saturday? We're doing a small birthday party for Lyle,” I said. I had forgotten that it was his birthday. I would have to grab presents for him after work.

“It's his birthday tomorrow?” River asked.

“Actually, it's today, but he knows we're celebrating it tomorrow instead. He's starting daycare next week until school starts up, then he'll be in four-k,” I explained.

“Hmm, four?” River asked.

“Yeah,” I yawned.

“I'll be there,” he said.

We both sat up.

Bonnie came in again with my clothes. They were washed and dried. I thanked her and went into the bathroom to change my clothes.

River was dressed in jeans and a plain black t-shirt. He held up a pair of keys. He dropped them in my hand. “The truck is out front,” he said. “I'll see you later. I got a mess to clean up.”

“River,” I started.

River stopped and looked at me.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked. I knew I didn’t have to say it out loud.

River’s gaze dropped to the floor, and he shook his head. “Talking about it doesn’t change anything,” he muttered.

“How do you know? Have you tried?” I challenged.

“It won’t change anything, Dallas,” he snapped. “It’s not every night,” he paused. “Just most.”

“I’ve never seen anyone have nightmares that bad,” I murmured. “Not even me.” River had woken me the night before because he was having a nightmare. He writhed around on the bed like he was being physically tortured. His screams were horrible. After what I had witnessed, I realized just how bad the accident messed him up.

“I'll be fine. Like I told you, I deserve to live with what I did. It should have been me that died. Landon is gone because of what I did,” he said tiredly. “There’s nothing else to say.”

I grabbed his arm and forced him to look at me. “There is everything to say.” My voice was thick with desperation and emotion. “Nobody deserved to die. Things happen for a reason. Landon shouldn’t have been taunting you.”

“Seriously?” River challenged. He rolled his eyes and pulled away from my grasp. “I could have ignored him. I was responsible for the safety of everyone in that car. I–” he stopped. River rubbed the back of his neck and his forehead creased. “I fucked up, and I know it. The nightmares remind me that I’m still alive. I’m lucky to be alive, and I don’t take things for granted the way I used to. It’s okay.”

Before I could respond, River moved past me to the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

I sighed in frustration and walked out of the bedroom.

Bonnie stopped me at the front door. “Breakfast?” she offered.

“I need to go home and get ready for work.” I smiled at her.

River came down the stairs and stopped. River looked at Bonnie then to me.

I looked up at River. “You should bring her with Saturday,” I suggested.

River bit his lip and nodded. He knew the look I was giving him. I didn't have to say it. River needed to tell his mother about Lyle, but he was putting it off. I wasn’t sure how to tell Bonnie either.

River grimaced. “Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled.

I rolled my eyes and headed for the door.

“Is there something you two aren't telling me?” Bonnie asked. She arched a brow.

I paused with my hand on the doorknob and grimaced.

River took an unsteady breath and looked away.

“How about we talk about it over breakfast,” I suggested. We couldn’t keep beating around the bush. Bonnie was going to find out at some point. I didn’t want to be the one to tell her, but from the look on River’s face, I knew he would back out if I didn’t press the issue.

“That sounds great,” Bonnie said. Bonnie smiled and started for the kitchen.

River came to stand beside me, and we stared after her.

River spoke without looking at me. “I don't think now is the time.” River scratched his head and placed his cap back on his head.

“Really?” I asked sarcastically. “I think now is a perfect time.”

River groaned as I shoved him toward the kitchen. His footfalls were heavy. You could tell when River didn't want to do something. He acted like a four-year-old who wasn't getting to stay up past bedtime. I would know because Lyle did this to me a lot.

River plopped down in a chair as Bonnie sat a plate of pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs in front of us. She placed the coffee in front of us. I took a bite of the food. Her cooking was just as good as Helen's. So good, I lost the train of thought. I didn't realize how hungry I was.

“So, what did you two have to tell me?” Bonnie asked.

I smiled at her, then gave River a challenging look. “Saturday, I'm throwing a birthday party at Helen's house,” I said.

“Well, that's just silly. Your birthday was a month ago,” Bonnie said, confused.

“It's for my son, actually,” I told her. I shoveled more food into my mouth.

Bonnie choked slightly on her coffee.

River gave me a nervous look. He gripped the edge of the table. He looked like he was about to grab me and make a run for the door.

“You h-have a son?” Bonnie stuttered.

“Yes, and River is his father,” I said casually.

It took River by surprise how I just blurted it out. Coffee spewed out of River’s mouth like a fountain.

Bonnie's jaw hung wide open. “River is...” Bonnie trailed off. “My River?”

“Yes. Congratulations. You’re a grandmother.” I smiled widely at her. “More coffee?”

***

“You're driving...” Helen trailed off. “Is that River's old truck?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “He insisted that I use it until I get a different vehicle. Bonnie and River are coming for the birthday party on Saturday. We told Bonnie,” I explained.

“How did that go?” Helen wondered.

I was silent for a long moment and finally turned to face her with pursed lips. “She was shocked, but she seemed happy,” I said. “She asked if River and I were back together. It got a little awkward. I won't be home right away tonight,” I said and started for the stairs.

“Are you two back together?” Helen asked.

“No, we were never together.”

“Then where are you going tonight?” Helen asked. Curiosity seeped in her voice, though she tried to hide it.

“Out to get coffee with Hunter Thompson,” I admitted. I turned to face her.

She stared at me, stunned. “Are you sure that is a good idea?”

“I'm not sure of anything, Helen,” I sighed. “He just asked, and I didn't want to be mean.” I shrugged and trudged up the stairs.

After I was ready for work, I headed out to the truck. It was a big, black, 1998 lifted Chevy Silverado, with a crew cab. It had huge spotlights on the top of the truck. It made it easier to drive in the dark. River had this truck since he was fifteen. He did a lot of work on it. I didn't blame him for not getting rid of it.

***

Though I liked my job, I was glad it was Friday. My day seemed to fly, which was surprising since I couldn't seem to stop looking at the clock. I had debated all day if I should cancel with Hunter, but I really didn't want to hurt his feelings. It's just coffee, not a date–I reminded myself.

Five o'clock rolled around, and I cleaned up my desk and shut the computer down.

“Have a great weekend, Dallas,” Dr. Frazier said kindly to me.

“You too, sir,” I said politely.

The truck somehow smelled just like River, which was maddening. My mouth watered at the smell of it.

After I finished shopping for Lyle’s toys, I drove to Mama T’s. I parked and jumped out of the truck before I could change my mind.

Hunter pulled up in his truck beside mine. “Is that Rivers truck?” he asked, confused.

“How did you know that?” I asked, surprised.

“River is the only guy in town with that badass of a truck,” Hunter said and shrugged. There was a hint of jealousy in his tone.

I laughed. “It is a nice truck,” I agreed.

“I saw him driving it a few weeks ago,” Hunter said.

“My car broke down. I'm just borrowing it,” I explained.

“Shall we?” Hunter waved a hand toward the diner.

I nodded and turned for the diner.

We sat down. The waitress came up and greeted us. We told her two coffees.

“Did you want anything to eat? I'll pay,” he offered.

“No, I had a late lunch,” I said. I cupped the back of my neck with my hand. My stomach started to turn as if I was going to be sick. I hated feeling like I was leading him on. It wasn’t my intention. Before I left here, I would need to set things straight between us.

Hunter nodded in understanding. “So, I heard River, and you drifted apart? Are you two good now?” he asked awkwardly.

“River and I are okay. We've been talking. I'm not sure it's ever going to be the way it was before the accident, though,” I admitted.

This seemed to ease some of Hunter’s tension, which made me tense up worse. I didn’t want to make Hunter comfortable.

The waitress placed the coffee down in front of us and walked away.

“How old is your son?” he asked.

“Four, today,” I admitted.

“Wow, four?” he asked, surprised. “Is his dad the reason you left Los Angeles?” From the look on Hunter’s face, I knew he was trying to do the math.

God, I forgot how blunt he is–I thought to myself. "River is his dad," I blurted out. "I came back here because I wanted to. I didn’t like California."

Hunter’s eyes widened in shock. "R-river is his dad?" His eyebrows knitted together, and his lips pursed. "You always told me that you didn't feel that way for him. Is that why you dumped me? You could have just... told me the truth." His eyes darkened.

I didn't want to hurt him, but there was no way around it. I sighed. "Maybe, this is a bad idea." I started to move.

Hunter grabbed my hand. "Wait, Dallas. I'm sorry," he said softly.

The diner bell rang.

My gaze flickered over Hunter’s head to the door.

River stood in the doorframe of the diner. His gaze locked with mine. River’s eyes dropped to where Hunter’s hand had a hold of mine. River’s gaze flickered back to mine.

As if someone had electrocuted, I pulled my hand out of Hunter’s. I swallowed hard.

Hunter looked over his shoulder at River.

River spun around and walked back out of the diner. The door swung closed behind him, and it sent a breeze in my direction.

It’s just my luck he would show up and impeccable timing. Bile rose in my throat. The pain in River’s eyes made my heart ache. My breathing became erratic. “I have to go,” I said and grabbed my purse.

“Wait, Dallas,” Hunter said. He stood in my way.

People in the diner turned to stare at us. I was so impatient to get to River that I didn't care how Hunter felt, and I didn’t care who heard our private conversation.

“I'm sorry for hurting you,” I snapped. “Yes, that is why I broke it off with you. I cheated on you with River. Now get out of my way.”

He swallowed hard and raised his head a fraction and brought it back down. The sadness in his eyes made me feel guilty, but it wasn’t enough to keep me standing there. I shoved off past him and sprinted out the door.

River was near his truck.

“River, wait!” I shouted.

River ignored me.

I managed to catch River’s arm before he climbed up into his truck.

River turned around so fast that I staggered back. “What, Dallas?” River snarled. The anger in his eyes instantly made me take a step back.

“River, I–”

“You don't owe me an explanation, Dallas. If you want to go on a date with Hunter, go for it. You're not mine.” River tried to sound casual and shrugged it off, but he couldn't hide the anger that was still in his eyes.

What he said hurt. River turned away, but I turned him back to face me.

“It's not a date,” I insisted. I didn't know why I was getting defensive or why he cared. It felt like he caught me doing something I wasn’t supposed to be. He was right; I was not his. I should have been mad that he was acting so crazy.

“Really?” he asked. “Could have fooled me. I’m sorry for ruining your date. You should be going to catch him, not me.”

I heard a vehicle door slam shut somewhere behind me. The truck peeled away, but I didn’t care. I didn’t look away from River. “I just felt like I owed him an explanation. I agreed to get coffee with him, so I could set things straight. I hurt him because of you... I mean me... I mean us–” I stopped and grimaced.

“Well, which is it?” River mocked.

“You know what? This is your fault!” I shrieked. Both of my hands were placed on his chest, and I shoved him back.

River staggered back and stared at me bewildered. “My fault?” River laughed humorlessly. “Enlighten me, Dallas. If I remember correctly, you didn’t exactly turn me down that night!”

I narrowed my eyes and stood on my toes, so I was nearly eye level with him. “You're the one who kissed me, River. Then just like every other girl, I meant absolutely fucking nothing to you! You’re the one who destroyed us!” I spat.

River’s lips parted. Regret and pain flashed in his eyes.

I turned and stormed away from him.

“Dallas!” River yelled after me, but I didn’t lose my stride.

This was why I was scared to come home. I climbed into the truck, started it, and peeled away. In the rearview mirror, I could see his truck behind me. Living next to each other was going to make it hard to avoid each other. Having a son together was going to complicate everything even more.

When I turned into the driveway, I realized he was right on my ass. I got out of the truck and slammed the door shut. I stomped my way up to the house. I was livid with River and myself.

River followed me into the house. "You're fucking crazy. Do you know that?!" he growled.

“Me?” I asked in disbelief as I spun around. “You just don't like admitting that you're a whore!”

“Damn it, Dallas. You mean so much more to me than you think,” he retorted.

“It's not like it even matters anymore. The damage is done. Now we have a son we have to raise together. Lyle needs both of us. We have no choice but to get along for Lyle,” I said. My weight shifted to one leg as I crossed my arms over my chest. My chest rose and fell heavily.

“What?” A small voice came from behind me.

Tension built in my stomach. I turned around slowly.

Lyle stared at us, confused. My face became horror-struck. I stared at my son and held my breath.

“My daddy is Jax,” Lyle said, confused. He knitted his eyebrows together.

“Lyle... I can explain,” I started.

Lyle turned around and bolted up the stairs. His bedroom door slammed shut.

“Shit,” I breathed. I covered my mouth with my hand. How the hell are you going to fix this one? It was no way for a little boy to find out who his real dad was.

“Well, that is one way to tell him,” Helen said as she strode into the hall.

“God, I thought you guys were gone,” I groaned.

“Maybe I should go talk to him,” River suggested.

“No, I don't think that's a good idea.” I shook my head. “Let me do it.”

“Why?” River asked.

“Lyle is skittish with people, especially men. Jax was awful to him...” I trailed off.

“Jesus, he beat him too–” River started.

“No, just me,” I muttered. “But he came close a couple of times to hurting Lyle too. Just stay here,” I told him. I sprinted up the stairs.

Lyle's door was shut. I opened it slowly and shut it behind me. He was on his bed, lying on his stomach with his face buried into his pillow.

“Lyle,” I said softly. I sat on his bed and rubbed his back.

Lyle sniffled and sat up. “I don't get it.”

“I know, baby. I'm going to tell you,” I murmured.

“The truth?” Lyle asked.

“Yes, the truth,” I said. I took a deep breath. “Jax isn't your dad. Jax forced me to tell you that, or he would have hurt me. The truth is, your real dad is the man downstairs. His name is River,” I said softly.

Lyle stared at me, confused.

“Before I knew I was pregnant with you, River got in trouble, and he had to go away. So, I went to Los Angeles to go to school, and I met Jax. Shortly after meeting him, I found out I was pregnant with you. So, I knew that you were River’s son. I wanted to tell you I just didn't know how,” I explained.

“Is River mean?” Lyle asked. Worry creased his little forehead. Lyle was intelligent and understood things well for a four-year-old. He had seen more in life than he should have.

“No, not at all. He's really nice,” I promised.

“If he is nice, why were you fighting?" Lyle asked.

“Well, grownups just do that sometimes. River wouldn't ever hit me or you, though,” I told him.

“How do you know?” he argued. "What if he got really mad?"

“I've known him for a really long time, and I know him very well. No matter how angry he gets, he wouldn't,” I said.

Lyle crawled in my lap and buried his little head on my shoulder. I rubbed his back soothingly.

A soft knock sounded on the door.

“Come in,” I called.

River opened the door and leaned against the frame. “I should go. We'll talk another time,” he said softly.

I nodded in agreement. To my surprise, Lyle turned around and waved at River.

River smiled and waved back at him. “See ya,” River said.

“See ya,” I said softly.

Lyle and I watched River disappear from the doorframe.

I turned back to Lyle. “How about some milk and cookies?”