Chapter 4. Something Good Came Out Of It

            The tent was huge, there was a stage, but it was still dark. There were picnic tables, and some people had brought lawn chairs—the tent filled with loud chatter. There was plenty of space to dance.

Liz and I grabbed a beer. Liz led the way over to a picnic table the boys sat at.

“Hey, Texas, you're back!” Beau hooted.

“Yeah,” I said and laughed.

“Is Helen babysitting? When did you have that little guy anyway?” Beau asked.

“Yes, and I had him in California,” I told him.

“You and the dad didn't work out?” Beau asked.

Ugh. “No, we didn't,” I said sharply. I rolled my eyes.

Beau was surprised by my irritation, but he shrugged and looked away.

River was talking to David, and River paid us no attention.

“So, California, what's that like?” Jordan asked.

“Hot, busy, earthquakes, beaches, pretty much like you see on the TV. There was nothing special about it,” I said. I sounded almost angry, and it caught River's attention.

River looked up at me, confused. “Strange, you were always excited about California?” River asked. Curiosity burned in his eyes.

“It's really not all it's cracked up to be,” I said. My eyes stayed on the bottle that was in my hands. “It's good to be home.”

Nobody spoke. Everyone was silent.

I looked up, confused as to why they were suddenly so quiet.

They were all smiling at me.

“What?” I asked and laughed.

“Cheers to that,” Beau said. Beau lifted his bottle of beer.

We all joined in. Our glasses clinked together. We tipped our bottles back and took a drink.

The band started to play. The opening song was a country song. They sounded amazing.

“Need another beer?” Beau asked River. Beau showed River that both of their drinks were empty.

“No, man. Two is enough for me. I got to drive home,” River said and shrugged.

“I'll drive you home, sexy,” Beau said jokingly.

River chuckled. “No, I'm good. I got a lot to do tomorrow.”

The next song they played was Boondocks by Little Big Town.

“Let's all dance!” Liz yelled.

“No!” The boys whined.

“Yes!” Liz and I both yelled.

They laughed but didn't argue.

We went out on the dance floor. All of us knew the same line dance. I was surprised that I could even still remember it at all. At first, there were only six of us, but then suddenly there was an entire crowd.

The song came to an end. It turned into a slow song. I spun around to leave the dance floor, but I stopped. I came face to face River. I was feeling higher than I had felt in a long time. I bit down on my lip.

River stared intently at me.

I turned back to see Jordan and Liz already slow dancing. The other guys were gone. I looked back at River.  

            River held his hand out and arched an eyebrow questioningly.

Instead of speaking, I placed my hand in his. River pulled me into him. We started a slow waltz around the dance floor. Alibis by Tracy Lawrence was an old country song, but it was one of my favorites, and River knew that.

We blended in with all the other couples who were slow dancing. Except that wasn’t what we ever were. I remembered thinking at one time that we could have been, but that didn’t happen.

As we moved around, I looked past River. Liz and Jordan were smiling in our direction. They quickly looked away when I caught them staring. We moved a little further. David and Beau were watching us, and they were also smiling.

I sighed because I knew it wasn’t what they thought. Instead of looking at River, I looked off to the side to avoid his gaze. Dancing with River gave me a sinking feeling, and I hated it. The high I had felt moments ago had vanished.

“You know, I don't expect you to forgive me, Dallas. I'm surprised you haven't kicked me between the legs and ran off yet. I deserve it, or worse,” River said low in my ear. His cheek rested against my temple.

I pulled back to look up at him. “I forgave you a long time ago, River. You were gone. It wasn’t like I could tell you that. You made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. Besides, let’s face it, I never was good at staying angry with you,” I said.

River spun me out and back into him. I had forgotten how good of a dancer he was. He moved so fluently. Boys in California didn't dance like they did here. My friends in California thought it was hilarious that I could waltz and line dance. City living was nothing like country living.

River was silent as he stared back at me. “I'm really happy you made it to Los Angeles...” he trailed off.

My heart thudded, stopped, and picked back up again at the look in River’s eyes. I never saw such a kind look in any man's eyes.

“I'm happier you came back home, though,” River said.

“Me too,” I said truthfully.

“You have a beautiful son, by the way,” River said softly.

I bit my lip and looked away. “Thanks.”

The song stopped. River stared at me with this expression that I didn't understand. River opened his mouth to speak, but he stopped.

A loud, fast song started. It was Honky Tonk Stomp by Brooks and Dunn.

River’s eyes flashed with amusement.

A hand grabbed my arm.

I spun to face Liz, and she was dancing. I laughed and started dancing with her to the song.

***

The rest of the night passed in chaos. I saw so many faces that I hadn't seen in a long time. I drank way too much.

The boys stood in a circle, joking and laughing when Liz and I stumbled into them laughing. Liz and I were drunk. Jordan caught Liz. River caught me.

“Hi,” I breathed in River’s face.

“How ya feelin'?” River asked. His eyes danced with amusement.

I snorted, and before I took a sip of my beer, I answered him. “You know damn well how I feel,” I muttered. At least, it seems like he should know how I feel.  

River stared back at me. It looked like he wanted to say something, but he hesitated.

“Hey, River.” A high-pitched voice came from behind us.

River turned his head back to see who had spoken to him.

I turned my head in the same direction.

We watched curiously as Arianna made her way past us. She was a beautiful built blonde that River used to go out with during tenth grade.

“Oh my god, Dallas, is that you?” Arianna asked. “You haven't changed one bit.”

Hmm. I pursed my lips and smiled kindly at her. “Oh my god, Arianna–” I said in the most dramatic tone I could manage. My face went blank before I said the rest. I spoke in the snottiest voice possible. “Neither have you.”

Arianna rolled her eyes and smiled at River. Arianna shook her ass intentionally as she walked away.

“Slut,” I coughed.

River chuckled. “Alright, legs, knock it off.” The old nickname caught me off guard. The only one who ever called me legs was River. He always said he called me legs because I could run fast even though I was short, which was true.

“I should go home,” I muttered. Before I say something stupid–I thought.

River had an arm around my waist. My back was pressed against his chest.

“Great!” he said enthusiastically. “I'll drive.”

“Psh, I can drive myself home,” I told him. I staggered as I searched my pockets for my keys.

“Oh, ya?” River asked. He dangled my keys in front of my face.

“River!” I groaned. I reached for the keys.

“I'll drive,” he said sternly.

“Why?” I asked.

“Friends don't let friends drive drunk,” he said and smirked.

I shrugged. I couldn’t argue with him on that. “Yes, sir,” I muttered. Bile rose in my throat. I turned away from him and ran out of the tent. I bent over and threw up.

The boys laughed except River.

“Have fun with that, River,” Beau called.

River held my hair back and held onto me.

When I finished, I straightened up and stumbled. My head spun chaotically.

“Are you okay?” River asked softly.

“I’m fine,” I slurred. “Let’s stay and party! Woo!”

“Yeah!” Liz yelled and raised a fist in my direction.

“I don’t think so,” Jordan said. Jordan picked Liz up and started carrying her away.

“Wait!” I called. “Don’t take her!”

Liz giggled and waved goodbye to me.

“Call me!” I yelled and gave her devil horns.

“Alright, come on,” River said and chuckled. He pulled me into his chest and steered me in the direction of the parking lot.

***

My head pounded from the hangover. Everything was so bright. I groaned as I stepped into the kitchen.

            Helen stood there and poured coffee. She turned around and sat the cup on the island.

I took a seat. “Thanks,” I groaned.

Helen laughed. “Have a good time?”

“I'm not sure,” I said. “Let me answer that when the memory comes back.”

“You passed out drunk on the way home. River had to carry you in and up to bed,” she said and laughed. I'll admit it wasn’t the first time it happened. Helen was a bit more approving of it since I was of age to drink.

“Where is my car?” I asked, confused.

“Someone must have driven it back. It's out there,” Helen said and shrugged.

“Did River like hit me on the head with something?” I asked.

“I considered it after you blew chunks in my new truck.” River’s voice came from behind us. I could hear the teasing in it.

Helen looked up and chuckled.

I groaned and looked back at him in irritation.

“It's just a hangover. Did you forget what those feel like?” River teased.

“Do you knock?” I asked rudely.

“Good morning, River,” Helen said.

“Hi, Helen. At least someone is happy to see me,” River said.

“Always good to see you, dear. How's your momma?” Helen asked.

“She's good,” River said.

Helen quietly headed out of the kitchen.

“Your son opened the door for me. He heard me knock,” River informed me.

“You don't knock loud enough,” I muttered. “What are you doing here?”

“You dropped your wallet in my truck last night,” he said as he handed it to me. “I figured I would drop it off on my way to town.”

I nodded. “Thanks,” I said.

River started for the door.

“Hey, um, how is your dad? You were getting feed yesterday. That's normally something he does,” I said.

            River sighed and turned to face me. His lips were mashed in a straight line. “He died a couple of years ago, while I was... away,” he said sadly.

Without thinking about it, I stood up and wrapped my arms around his waist. Tears built in my eyes. Aunt Helen could have given me some warning.

“I'm so sorry,” I said.

He wound his arms around my shoulder and buried his face in my hair. “Thanks,” he said softly. He pulled away. “I'd better go.” He ran a hand through his black hair. His blue eyes darkened just like his mood.

It worried me, but he left before I could say anything else. I stared after him, dumbfounded.

Helen came back into the kitchen and tilted her head. “What's wrong?” she asked.

“Jeez, Aunt Helen, some kind of warning would have been nice. You couldn't be like, hey, so you know Thomas died,” I said. I made quotes in the air with my fingers. I was probably being a little overdramatic.

“I thought maybe it'd be better to hear it from River,” Helen said softly.

“It wasn't. God, he looked...” I trailed off. I searched for the right word. “Broken.”

“I'm sorry, baby. Maybe, I should have told you that one,” Helen said sadly. Her eyes were apologetic.

“Is his mom okay?” I asked, confused.

She sighed. “His mom is okay, but she's drinking a lot now. River is responsible for everything over there.”

“Wow,” I breathed.

“Did you tell him yet?” Helen asked. She raised her eyebrows. It was the same knowing look in her eyes.

It sent my stomach in flames. “Oh my god,” I whispered. My gaze left hers. “H-how did you even know?”

Helen snorted. “Seriously? I can't believe nobody else didn't notice, Dallas.”

The house phone rang.

Helen took off to answer it. She had an old phone with a cord. It was still on the kitchen wall. “Hello?” she asked. “Yes, she is.”

I turned to look at her.

She smiled. “It's for you,” she said and offered me the phone.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hi, Dallas. This is Gail from the clinic. We received your application and resume. Would you be willing to come in for an interview tomorrow?” she asked politely.

“Yes, absolutely,” I said.

“Great, how does eleven o'clock sound?” Gail asked.

“Perfect,” I told her.

“See you tomorrow then,” she said. She hung up the phone.

I hung the phone up and turned to face Helen and grinned widely.

“You got an interview?” she asked.

“Yes!” I hissed out in excitement.

Helen laughed. “That is great, honey.”

***

After we ate lunch, I went out with Helen to help her with chores.

“You kept Bullet?” I asked.

            Helen laughed. “I kept your jumping equipment too.”

After chores were done, I told Helen I wanted to take Bullet out for a ride.

She smiled at that, and she walked out of the barn.

Once Bullet was saddled, I led him out of the barn and turned to face him. “I missed you, boy. I hope you're not mad,” I said.

My fingers ran along the side of his face. His fir was like silk. Bullet lowered his head and brushed it against my hand. I patted him and smiled. He closed his eyes like he enjoyed it. So, maybe I am forgiven.

Bullet let me get on him. I grabbed the reigns and directed him to go right and head up the hill.

The sight was beautiful. The sun shimmered off the sides of the mountains. The green grass glowed. It wasn’t too bright or too hot.

I turned him around at the boundary line but stopped when I heard a voice call my name.

“Dallas?” River rode his horse up beside mine and looked at me, surprised.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“You're on a horse, must not have forgotten how to ride,” River teased.

“It’s like riding a bike,” I said and rolled my eyes. “I've got to admit; it's weird being back up on a horse and seeing all of this.” I gestured to the view in front of us. It was like I forgot how freeing the feeling of being on a horse was.

“Well, it's definitely not Los Angeles,” River said. “I went out there about a year ago,” he added. He looked straight ahead toward the mountains.

“W-what? Why?” I gasped.

“Just drove out there...” he trailed off. “I think I was trying to figure out what Los Angeles could offer you that Anaconda couldn't. Then I went there...” he trailed off and smirked at me. “Nah, I still don't get it.”

“After you got locked up, I needed a change of scenery,” I said and shrugged.

“Come on. You were talking about California long before the accident,” he said. He gave me a skeptical look.

“I was never sure. I think I was waiting to see if you'd stop me,” I said. I rolled my eyes.

River sighed. “As much as I would have wanted to, I wouldn't have stopped you.”

I nodded in understanding, but I couldn't help the sharp pain in my chest at his words. I climbed off my horse and sat down on the ground below a tree under the shade.

“I don't mean it like that.” River sat down beside me, grabbed my chin, and forced me to look at him. “I just meant that I couldn't be that selfish with you. I'd never stop you from pursuing what you want. It just doesn't seem right to hold someone back like that.”

“It’s fine. We agreed it was a mistake,” I said softly. It was only once a long time ago.

“Doesn't matter, I guess. You would have left after the accident anyway. At least something good came out of it, right?” River asked. He tilted his head and arched his eyebrow.

I was blown away by his words. I jumped to my feet. My heart rate and breathing accelerated.